Watching the world through a window is kind of eerie. Every thing blurs by, as the speeding train rallies towards the Capitol, and I can't help but think that this is what my life is like: speeding at an unearthly pace, until suddenly it will come to a stop and I will reach my final destination, whether I want to or not. I leaned my forehead against the pane of glass, close my eyes and think of home.

By now, they'll have realised what I have done, and I hope they have the foresight to never utter another word about it. It could end in disaster for us all.

And poor Skylar. She's going to have a wicked black eye, if the one Zane gave me is an indicator. I couldn't just give her the sleeper hold my dad taught me when I was younger. Everyone saw Zane knock three shades out of me at the Reaping. If the mark suddenly disappeared….

However, I can't say I regret the decision I made.

For my family.

For my sister.

For my little niece or nephew.

It had to be done.

There was a soft knock on the compartment door which rouses me from my reverie. I wipe my tear-filled eyes, and reassure myself, once again, that I had to do this, even if I don't want to…

Even though I know I'm going to die.

At least I'm dying for someone I love.

But no one will ever know.

I yank the hair on my head and stuff my fist into my mouth to stifle my scream. This is the third time the panic has set in, when I realise what I have just done, and like the other times, it'll pass, and eventually I will come to accept it.

Knock Knock Knock.

The sound becomes more persistent and I glower at the door.

"What?" I yell, throwing myself back against the long, purple velvet seat in my compartment and dab at my eyes. The door slides back and Archer Penhallow lets himself in.

What do you want?" I mumble, radiating all my pent up frustration into my tone. I know I have to keep in character, but even Skylar would be pissed if she was sent to the Capitol. I'm just acting like she would.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Then I realise that Skye would probably be nicer to Archer. After all, he's in the exact same situation.

Archer shuts the door quietly and turns to face me. He's tall, really tall. He must have grown since I saw him last. We used to be in the same class in school, but he was bumped up a grade. It was almost unheard of, but Archer was too intelligent to stay behind. We used to be friends. He sat beside me each day in class, and we would play together at lunch. Then he moved, and I figured he had moved on.

"Why did you do it?" My eyes snapped up to meet his. His deep, dark eyes fixated on my face, searching for the answer to a question that hadn't been asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Why did you do it, Keely?"

My heart stopped in my chest and I watched his face. He remained stoic, calm, but his voice betrayed an edge of sadness, desperation, even incredulity. Archer was always very complex.

But how did he know?

"Keel…what?" I laughed, trying to sound convincing. "No, thankfully she's at home. I couldn't bear her to be here." It sounded real, because I knew that's how Skye would feel, and my heart broke at the thought of her waking and realising what I had done. She would never want me to sacrifice myself for her.

But it wasn't her choice, was it?

"Don't." Archer raised a hand and fixed me with a glare that turned my blood to ice in my veins. "Don't even try it."

I knew I couldn't fool him. Knew it like I knew my name, my life, the back of my hand.

"How did you…?"

"Your birthmark is quite unusual, isn't it?" he said, in a casual tone, like talking about the weather. I froze and cursed myself. I had to keep my hand at my side from now on.

"Archer…"

"Why?" he wanted an answer.

"I had to. It had to be done."

"But why you?"

"Who else?"

I could see the anguish in his face, the absolute torment. Then he turned away, unlocked the door and I heard him say "I don't want you to die."

The door clicked shut.

I don't want that either, I thought.

But we can't always get what we want.