I'm still feeling awful about taking so long – even though it was the Internet's fault (I probably shouldn't say that too much because I swear the computer is watching me with its beady little camera eye) – but it's a Facebook chapter! Yay! I don't know if I've already talked about this but has anyone noticed that all the chapters are named what Santana says in the chapter? So she has to be in every chapter! Yaaaaaaay! Oh and I also noticed that in chapter four (I think it was that chapter) Rachel referred to Quinn and Finn being together, sorry that was a mistake because in this they're not together.
Disclaimer: Are you kidding me? I don't own glee. At. All. M'kay?
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Brittany S Pierce: My doctor said my cat might have ADD. Anyone know what that means?
Artie Abrams: Attention Deficit Disorder.
Brittany S Pierce: So... my cat's attention and this order of fries. And I can't have fizzie?
Artie Abrams: Never mind.
Brittany Pierce: But my cat wants fizzie drinks! I get hurted if he doesn't get it.
Artie Abrams: It's not like that! And what happened to your name?
Brittany Pierce: I have to hide from Britney Spears.
(Lauren Zeiss likes this)
Santana Lopez: Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
Santana Lopez: knows something. Does Rachel know too?
Rachel Berry: I assure you Santana I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
Finn Hudson: Huh? I'm confused.
Quinn Fabray: As always.
Sam Evans: Burn!
Rachel Berry: Can you please move this conversation elsewhere?
Santana Lopez: Nope. I posted on your wall for a reason. ;D
Rachel Berry: You're evil, Santana.
Brittany Pierce: is fergilicious.
Rachel Berry: is happy for Brittany. :D
Mike Chang: We're lacking some serious guy talk here.
Rachel Berry: Who said we need guy talk?
Finn Hudson: Anyone awesome.
Rachel Berry: That is sexist.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: What the hell Rache, why did you delete my comment?
Rachel Berry: Cussing is not permitted on my page.
Finn Hudson: Wow it really isn't. Are you just going to delete all swear words on your page?
Rachel Berry: That's the plan.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Oh you are so going to pay for this Berry.
Rachel Berry: I have told you before STOP calling me Berry or YOU'LL pay!
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Oh, I'm really scared.
Mike Chang: Puck wants you to un-block him, Rae.
(Santana Lopez and 11 others like this)
Rachel Berry: He wants a lot of things. (sigh) Fine!
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Hey babes I'm back.
Rachel Berry: I'm surprised at you Noah, you haven't made a crude remark about my earlier comment.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Ummmmm... what?
RACHEL BERRY'S FACEBOOK MESSAGES:
Quinn Fabray:
Hey Rachel,
Wanna catch up this weekend? I want to make things right between us.
-Quinn
Rachel Berry: (Re-catch up)
Hello Quinn,
It would be very nice to catch up and I'm glad you want to make things right between us. I've always thought we could patch things up. Saturday alright?
-Rachel
Quinn Fabray: (Re-re-catch up)
Saturday's awesome! Meet you at Dermocellis at 11am.
Rachel Berry: (Re-re-re-catch up)
See you there.
-Rachel
Quinn Fabray: has a killer of a stoumach ache.
Rachel Berry: Try drinking some carbonated beverages, resting your feet at a higher level than the rest of your body and putting a water bottle on your abdomen to give temporary pain relief.
Quinn Fabray: Thanks.
Rachel Berry: I have some Aloe Vera Juice that can soothe it instantly if you want me to bring it round.
Quinn Fabray: That would be great because I have lots to do today.
Rachel Berry: Be there in ten.
Santana Lopez: since when are you the healing girl?
Rachel Berry: Since I took a 3 month first aid training class at age 12.
Santana Lopez: strange.
Rachel Berry: I like to think of it as a life skill, thank you!
Santana Lopez: whatEVER.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: i have some body parts that need rubbing. ;D
Rachel Berry: Shut it.
Brittany Pierce: I can help Puck I'm really good at rubbing.
Artie Abrams: No you can't Brit, trust me.
Brittany Pierce: Artie, you can't domino me!
Tina Cohen Chang: I think you mean dominate Brittany.
Brittany Pierce: ohhhhh but domino sounds so COOL!
Tina Cohen Chang: What Artie is doing to you is dominating you, which means he is speaking for you, telling you what to do and taking control over you, all against your will. Dominoes, what you're thinking of Brit, are black rectangles with white dots that fall over in a row.
Brittany Pierce: ...
Artie Abrams: I am not dominating her. I just don't want to lose her to the masculine arms of Noah Puckerman.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: I'm your bro, wheelchair, I wouldn't steal yaw girl!
Artie Abrams: alright. I trust ya.
Sam Evans: holy shoot, I've missed everything!
Rachel Berry: Not really, Sam. Just objectifying chit chat against women.
Mike Chang: we still on for halo this weekend?
Sam Evans: for defs. Oh but don't bring your girlfriend this time, no offence tina.
Santana Lopez: Sam, no offence but you suck.
Sam Evans: wait, what was the point of saying no offence?
Sam Evans: oohhhhhh. I get it.
Rachel Berry: Don't listen to her, Sam.
Santana Lopez: Why spoil my fun, Rae-rae?
Quinn Fabray: Because your fun is making us all swear. And if my mum hears, I'm dead.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: No, I do it for other reasons.
Sam Evans: Like what?
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Lets just say there's a reason she doesn't have many friends.
Rachel Berry: Noah! What are you talking about?
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: She's not a bitch cause she has no friends, she has no friends cause she's a bitch.
Mike Chang: MEAN GIRLS RIP OFF!
Quinn Fabray: Like you haven't done that before.
Artie Abrams: Wait, you've seen Mean Girls? Way to go, Mike!
Tina Cohen Chang: Objectifying!
Artie Abrams: Seriously woman, what's with you?
Tina Cohen Chang: I have a name.
Lauren Zeiss: I curse Satan-a.
Santana Lopez: And I curse you back, Tubs McGee
Lauren Zeiss: I hate you.
Santana Lopez: I hate you more.
Lauren Zeiss: Doubtfull, stick figure.
Santana Lopez: Shut up blubber.
Rachel Berry: Everybody, shut up and leave my page!
Brittany Pierce: Rachel said shut up. My world is twisting.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: ha ha ha ha everybody has to check this out:
.com/toddlertimes/how_much_is_that_doggy_in_the_window
Brittany S Pierce: no fair! Rachel has a mini twin? i want one!
Artie Abrams: that's just Rachel when she was younger.
Santana Lopez: hey yr name is back 2 normal.
Brittany S Pierce: shhhhh! don't tell Britney!
Mike Chang: OMG! Ha! I just checked out the rest of your vids, all little berry moments!
Rachel Berry: Noah you are going to PAY!
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: I hope so... ;D
Rachel Berry: That is it! Everybody check THIS out:
.com/friends/Noah_Puckerman/embarrassing_moments
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: not the bathtub!
Rachel Berry: You don't mess with Rachel Berry.
Kurt Hummel: I'm back, glee clubbers! And Puck, you poor thing, you had a mohawk when you were THREE!
Mercedes Jones: Ooh, you're coming back to glee!
Blaine Anderson: Not just yet...
Mike Chang: can we focus on the puck embarrassing photos? Love later!
Blaine Anderson: Fine. Oh, wait, these are hilarious! Totally worth it.
Kurt Hummel: I meant I was back on Facebook.
Mercedes Jones: Ohhhhhhh.
Rachel Berry: It's okay Mercedes, we'll kidnap Kurt.
Santana Lopez: Ha, lets kidnap!
Brittany S Pierce: No! That's how I lost my name before!
Sam Evans: What are you talking about Brittany?
Rachel Berry: I think we should stop talking about this. I don't want to have to change my name.
Quinn Fabray: Hey Rachel, don't bring money this weekend.
Rachel Berry: I am bringing money. You are NOT paying for all of it.
Quinn Fabray: Oh, not fair. Fine. But we're having chocolate!
Rachel Berry: I think I've had enough chocolate to last a lifetime! But okay.
Santana Lopez: Why are you flirting with my girl, Quinn?
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: She ain't your girl, Satan!
Mike Chang: Not yours either, Puckerman
Rachel Berry: Everybody shut up.
Mike Chang: Language!
Rachel Berry: Watch out Mike, you're sounding like me again.
Mike Chang: Uh oh, you're still rubbing off on me.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: I don't like the way that sounds. You should be rubbing off on me.
Rachel Berry: You're disgusting Puckerman.
Santana Lopez: Not as disgusting as what I'm thinking. ;D
Rachel Berry: Get your gross mind OFF my page Santana Lopez!
Santana Lopez: Never!
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Seriously, how m I sposed to resist making a crude comment?
Quinn Fabray: Try not being an asshole!
Sam Evans: Oh no she didn't!
Mercedes Jones: Seriously trouty, stop stealing my phrases!
Kurt Hummel: Ya don't mess with Cey-dees.
Rachel Berry: Or Rachel Berry. Got it Puckerman/Lopez?
Santana Lopez: Fine. I got it.
Brittany S Pierce: Why is Santana being anti bitch?
Blaine Anderson: Cause she's whipped.
Santana Lopez: You shut your mouth, Blay gay!
Rachel Berry: Language Santana!
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: Totally whipped.
Lauren Zeiss: Just like I had you when we were dating.
Rachel Berry: Yes, you had him under control. That's a hard thing to do.
Lauren Zeiss: Maybe one day you will learn from me.
Rachel Berry: I would hope so.
Santana Lopez: Rache? Can I swear now?
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What'd you think? Funny enough? Lemme know – MORE REVIEWS! Please? Buh bye my little internet friends.