Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they all belong to Arina Tanemura and as well if I ever use song lyrics they as well do not belong to me

A/N: Hey so thanks for all the reviews I really appreciate them all like always and I love reading them!

So this is a very important message about this chapter! It is definitely an M rated one, so I strongly advice you read with caution... And if it gets confusing I am sorry it all makes sense to me because I wrote it but if you don't understand some parts then I will explain next chappie jus lemme know. The chapter took a total one eighty from what I wanted but it ended how I wanted it to!

And like I said before Eichi is WAY out of character! I am sorry for anyone who loves Eichi cause you will not like this chapter! So please don't flame on me! I don't even hate Eichi he seems like a nice guy but again it fits my story.

Chapter 20

Fear is the Heart of Love

Her eyes slowly opened to the bright rays of the sun shining through the open window. She sighed rolling onto her back covering her eyes with her arm. She thought over the past few days which only brought on the misery of her memories. She was a mess, first she breaks the heart of the man she used to love, second she is too selfish to let him go afraid of abandonment, and thirdly the other man who had stole her heart was gone. Never getting the chance to tell him her true feelings.

"I hate myself," she mumbled not even wanting to get up. She used to always see the darkest before the dawn, but not anymore. Now all she could think of was the dark nothingness of death hoping, praying that one day it would open its arms for her and take her in. She was selfish and weak, she couldn't let Eichi go, no matter what he did to her or she to him. She couldn't say goodbye. Now that Takuto was gone she needed someone to hold on to. Someone to make her better. And for that she was a terrible person.

"Mitsuki?" A soft knock came upon the door.

"Eichi?" she asked, knowing it was him.

"May I come in?" his soft voice asked. He sounded exactly like the old Eichi, the one whose heart she didn't break.

"Yes," she replied, sitting up against the head bored.

She watched as the door slowly opened to reveal the dirty blonde on the other side. His soft hazel eyes traced along her body until his lips curved into a soft smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"I-" she paused to clear her throat. "I've been better," she answered.

"I see," his eyes turned down as he tentatively made his way over to the bed. Once he reached the side where she was he sat. "I see," he repeated placing his hand gently on her cheek.

"I'm sorry," she said feeling her cheeks heat as she looked away from him.

"For what?" he asked gently.

"For playing with you, I don't deserve your love Eichi. You're too good for me I...I cheated on you," she breathed feeling tears build around the rim of her eyes. "I can't not love him Eichi, even though he's gone I just...I just love him so much." She felt Eichi almost freeze at her words, then softened up.

"I know," was all he could say.

"Eichi, just let me go, please leave me I don't deserve you!" she didn't know why the words were coming from her, she didn't want to let him go. Even though she didn't love him the same way it hurt to think he would be gone.

"I can't Mitsuki, I can't leave you like this. Do you know why?" he asked tilting her chin up. She shook her head unable to look away from his gaze. "Because I love you," he said, slowly leaning forward. "No matter what I always will. And I will lose to no one for your love, even if it means having to hurt you."

"Wai- Eichi?" she asked confused until his lips pressed against hers.

"You belong to me remember, and I'll make sure of it." Her eyes shot open when he pulled something out of his pocket.

"Eichi what are you..." her eyes froze open and she tried to shove him away but he held her fast grabbing her wrists and tying them above her head to the headboard.

"This is the only way to officially make you mine!" He panted kissing her again. "This is how it was supposed to be! Don't complain, we would have been doing this anyways if you hadn't left me,and guess what?" he leaned over to her ear tracing the tip with his tongue. "You would have enjoyed it,"

"No! Please Eichi!" She didn't know what to say, what to do. The monster above her was completely different. "Eichi I..." She froze again. This was her fault, she made him like this, she had unleashed this beast within the angel.

"Your not Takuto's anymore, you belong to me!" he hissed continuing his 'duty'. He had done the exact same thing to her the previous morning but gave up. This time he would not step down from the plate.

"But where's Izumi?" she panted.

"He had to step out for a moment, I asked him to pick up some food. So we have to hurry, we don't have much time," he smirked, moving down her body. "Don't worry the pain will soon turn to pleasure, just let me take care of you for a bit. We'll make things how they were supposed to be."

"No, Takuto!" She cried.

Izumi walked out side to the cold brisk air. "That bastard," he muttered pulling his black trench coat tighter around himself. He could see his breath in the cool air and quickened his pace.

Out of all things he was going to pick up food for that jerk. At first he was hesitant in leaving Mitsuki, but then thought Eichi couldn't do anything that bad to her. She was already broken enough there was no way he could do anymore damage...unless.

"Nah, he wouldn't," Izumi sighed under his breath continuing on his way.

A man with blues eyes cautiously looked around his black surroundings. It seemed as though he were in a dark room with no light switch.

"Hello?" he asked unable to make out a thing, not even his own hands.

He slowly stood, not knowing what to do. "Hello!" he called again, no reply. He hesitantly took a step forward.

"Hello," a soft voice replied. He turned to see an older women smiling at him.

"Wh-who are you?" he asked looking at the frail women in front of him. As soon as the lady had appeared the room had lit up. He could see every fine detail of the person before him. His eyes then trailed beyond her but all he could see was white.

"You don't know?"

"No!" he felt his frustration peak.

'NO, please no!'

He heard a girls angelic voice cry. He looked around but saw no sign of the crying girl. It was like she was on an intercom.

"What is this!" he asked, his hand reached up to grab the shirt at his chest then froze waiting for something that didn't come. "Th-there's no..."

"Heartbeat," the women finished for him. His panicked eyes shot to her.

"What the fuck is this! Where am I and who are you, why am I here?" he screamed taking a step away from her. The women only smiled covering the space which he tried to create.

'No, stop it hurts! It hurts!'

The girls voice sounded like she was being murdered. Why did it feel like he was being stabbed in the chest at hearing her voice? Who was she? And for that matter who was he?

"How can I feel when I have no heart beat? What is going on! Why the fuck won't you answer me!" he screamed, desperately looking at the women.

"Calm down," the woman's old voice rang. "You honestly don't know who I am?" she asked, he nodded. She smiled sadly slowly walking up to him grabbing his cheeks and closing her eyes.

"H-hey what are you doing!"

"I'll have to show you then," she said closing her eyes. His eyes closed as well and reopened to a scene of a beautiful young girl with long flowing brown hair.

"Fuzuki," a man smiled walking up to her.

"Seijuro," she breathed as he wrapped his arms around her. "I thought you wouldn't come."

"Of course I would," he smiled leaning in to place a gentle kiss upon her lips. The girl blushed as he leaned away.

"Fuzuki you are the world to me, I love you more then you could imagine." The girls eyes lit up.

"Oh Seijuro, I love you too. Forever I promise to love you!" She cried wrapping her arms around him. The atmosphere seemed full of love. That is until everything changed.

The peaceful scene of the two lovers completely altered. They were in a different place, the man had a grim look on his face as the girl who had been full of joy, sat pitifully on her knees crying.

"How could you say that, you said you loved me, you said..."

"Shut up!" The mans voice cut. "People change, feelings change, I don't love you anymore I found someone new."

"B-but Seijuro I...I!" she cried reaching out to him.

"Don't look at me with those pitiful eyes." She cringed at his words. "I don't love you okay, get over it," he muttered turning and walking away.

"Seijuro!" she screamed one last time.

The scene then changed again, the women was sitting with another in a dark room with crystals hanging everywhere.

"So he left you?" The women asked looking at a crystal ball before her.

"Yes, he could have killed me if he wanted to." Fuzuki looked away.

"Well then you came to the right place. You see I think the best way to induce pain is to make it long term so that more suffer. I will put a curse on..." she paused looking at Fuzuki for a moment.

"Seijuro Kira," she answered.

"On Seijuro Kira, he shall have a large family with lots of people who love one another, it will be the best dream one could have." Fuzuki stared at the women questioningly. "However, as soon as the family has reached its peak of happiness, it will falter. Divorces will arise and death will be inevitable. So much to the point that only the hopeless will be left. Seijuro will kill himself unable to watch the pain of his dear family and for that the rest of the family will suffer! Non of the people in the Kira family will be able to capture pure true love. The only way for this curse to be broken is if the grandchild of Seijuro and the women who he left you for falls in love with that of the grandchild you will one day be blessed with." She looked at Fuzuki the entire time.

"The Kira family will soon diminish unless your grandchild is brought happiness by Seijuro's grandchild. But if Seijuro's offspring fails and makes your descendant miserable, then that is truly the end of the Kira's and they will all be granted death in the most insufferable ways."

The scene once again blacked out.

The last and final scene was the girl, she was older though and her face did not show. She was facing the opposite direction but her whimpers were heard.

"Please forgive me Seijuro," she cried, raising her wrist in the air slicing it with a long blade, watching the red drizzle down her skin before collapsing to the ground.

"What the hell was that?" the blue eyed man asked, being brought back to the present.

"The answers you have always wanted," she said sadly. "I was such a selfish girl and I had no idea how much pain I had put on everyone...especially you. I am so sorry for this stupid curse!" The woman's monotonous facade had disappeared, she reminded him of the Fuzuki girl from the flashback unless...

"F-Fuzuki?" he asked. She nodded her head.

"Wait if you're Fuzuki, and that was your life, and you killed yourself, then that means that I am..." he looked around the space horrified.

"Dead," Fuzuki pointed.

"But why am I dead, how did I die?" He asked hoping she had the answers.

"I can't tell you that," she sadly stated.

"But why?" he asked trying to hang on to the last shred of his sanity.

"Because you didn't break the curse, I wished that more then anything you would bring happiness to your family that I destroyed. I wanted you to make my granddaughter happy, and for a while I thought you were going to. But then you..." She paused almost telling him what had happened.

"But then I what...Ah!" He screamed falling to his knees grabbing his head, the flash back of what had happened attacking his mind.

There was another man with blue eyes much older then himself who had just positioned the aim of a guns bullet at his heart.

Bang

It shot fast, but he tried to avoid it only letting the small chunk of metal painfully slice against his shoulder.

"Time to die my dear brother," the man snickered. He lay on the ground bleeding as the other man walked up to him pointing the gun at his face, stepping on his stomach so he couldn't escape.

Click

"What the fuck?" the man above him hissed checking the gun.

"Empty!" the bloody man said pushing his assaulter away.

"I can still take you!" The older brother roared as they began to fight. They were evenly matched in ability and strength.

The gruesome battle had grown when not too long after both brothers lay bloody and battered adjacent from one another.

"I hope you burn in hell for all the pain you have forsaken me with!" the older man slurred.

"F-fuck-y-" the younger brothers eyes closed. He was trying to hold on trying to stay alive he had to, no matter what. But the physical pain he felt and the loss of blood was not helping him and he soon lost his battle.

"Ah!" The man screamed being brought from his memory. "What was I doing why did Kato kill me!"

"You were too weak to break the curse," she repeated.

"Why do you keep saying that!" he screamed. "I still can't remember my na-"

"Takuto!"

The girls blood curdling scream cried, his eyes widened as he felt a heart beat in his chest.

"Save her..." Fuzuki pleaded.

"Mitsuki," she opened her eyes to the bright room.

"Izumi?" she asked looking at the man sitting on her bed.

"W-what happened..." she trailed off looking at the bruise marks on her wrists. She quickly covered herself with the sheets when the cold air hit her bare skin.

"He's gone for now Mitsuki, I'm sorry I left I had no idea he would do that to you," Izumi said disgusted. "I promised him I would protect you, I guess I'm not doing that great of a job."

"No," she said quietly placing her hand on his. "Your doing good, it's my fault. I made him like this," she paused to clear her groggy throat. "I don't blame him..."

"Don't blame him?" he asked incredulously. "How can you say that the man raped you! Those actions are unforgivable!"

"Izumi can we please not talk about it?" she begged.

"...Yeah..." he finished.

"I was talking to Tarou earlier and he said he wanted to have the funeral tomorrow." Mitsuki nodded not wanting to touch this subject either. "Mitsuki you can say no, but we just thought you were the one who knew him the best. Would you want to say the elegy for him?"

"I...yes," she replied, slipping further under the blankets wincing.

"Are you in pain?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied. She didn't know what was worse, the fact that the physical pain of what Eichi had done to her was not nearly as bad as what she felt in her heart, or the fact that she was happy he created this pure hell for her.

The two sat in silence not knowing where to take their conversation.

The day that Mitsuki had been dreading was finally here. The funeral. She walked slowly into the funeral chapel looking at the beige walls not noticing much else. The smell of the place was enough to creep her out let alone the sad melody ringing throughout the room.

"Hello miss may I take your jacket?" A tall man in a dark suit asked. She nodded woodenly as he helped her out of it turning to hang it up. "The service will be held in the main hall there," he pointed to a door where she could only see a portion of wooden benches on the other side.

"And there," he pointed to a smaller room. "Is where the body viewing is." Her heart almost stopped as an electric current raced through her veins.

"B-body v-viewing?" She mouthed. The man nodded.

"But if you don't want to..."

"Mitsuki you don't have to," they both turned to see Eichi walking into the room. He had insisted on attending and being too afraid to say otherwise Mitsuki let him come.

"N-no I will."

"Mitsuki, long time no see."

"Tarou!" Mitsuki turned to see the burly man.

"Thank you so much for coming the family really appreciates it," he smiled, although it was a sad smile.

"Oh, y-your welcome," she stuttered. His eyes then moved to Eichi.

"Why don't I show you to your seat," Eichi nodded.

"Thank you, come on Mitsuki," he softly ordered grabbing her arm. She looked at him then frantically to the room she knew 'he' would be.

"Oh, Mitsuki why don't you go say your last goodbye. Everyone else has settled in their seats but I can get Izumi to come get you when we're about to start." He smiled.

"Thank you," she replied.

"I'll go with her then," Eichi interjected pulling Mitsuki with him.

"I said," Tarou silently growled grabbing the mans sleeve. "That I would escort you to your seat and that Mitsuki could say her goodbyes."

"O-okay," Eichi replied, afraid of the giant man.

They both turned to walk away and Mitsuki silently thanked Tarou. She swallowed hard walking to the room before stopping in the door way. She almost had to hold back her sob when she saw the man in the coffin. Her hand slowly covered her mouth as the tears which she could not conceal poured down her cheeks.

Her feet felt like they had weights attached to them as she walked to her love. She stared down at his motionless body as it lay in the coffin. They had cleaned him up from when she last saw him and he was wearing a nice black suit. Mitsuki bit down on her trembling bottom lip. It bothered her that even in his death bed he didn't look at peace.

"Takuto," she managed to squeak. "I wrote a elegy for you..." she broke off with a few sobs. "I...It's not very good...but I wrote it from my heart and I want you to hear it..." she tried to smile but it came out as a mangled frown. "T-T-Takuto was one of the bravest...kindest, most caring p-people I have ever met. He taught me many things and with that I became...i became a better person... He showed me a new light on life. He was... he was always gentle towards me and truly a good...a good person. Whenever I needed s-someone, he was there. I truly and sincerely from the bottom of my heart lo-lov-l..." she stuttered as her voice grew higher. "Takuto why!" she broke off from her speech. "Why did you sacrifice yourself! Do you know how much it hurts to not have you around?" she bawled looking at his frozen face. His skin was cold to the touch and it still bothered her that when she touched him her skin still burned as it did when he was living.

She sucked in both her lips looking around the small room with teary eyes. She was cracking up inside she couldn't stand it. She was crying so hard and the ceremony had not even started yet. She heard the soft sad melody that rang throughout the building and it seemed to make the setting all the more serial.

"Mitsuki?" she heard Izumi call from the other side of the door. "It's almost time to start I'll take you to your seat.

"Okay," she replied in an uneasy voice. She looked back to Takuto then the door again to make sure Izumi did not intrude on her last action. She ran to the casket almost throwing herself over top of Takuto. "Takuto...I love you the most," she whispered kissing his cheek. "I always will. I wish you stayed long enough for me to tell you," she tried to smile again as she left the room.

They quickly took their seats as Eichi took Mitsuki's hands. She grimaced at his touch but he did not notice. The music slowly died as the reverend began his speech. Mitsuki's choppy breath rang throughout the room and she felt Izumi lightly pat her shoulder comfortingly.

The ceremony felt as though it was taking hours before the reverend looked at the small crowd. "And now we will have a word from Takuto Kira's friend Mitsuki Koyama." He smiled as the small girl slowly stood and walked up to the podium with shaking legs.

She bowed to the reverend as he slowly stepped back allowing her to take charge.

"Thank you," she said taking in a deep breath. "...Takuto was..." she paused and the audiences attention was diverted to the back door as one of the ushers frantically ran into the room.

"Someone please Takuto he...!" he screamed.

"What?" Tarou asked standing, clearly angry that Mitsuki's speech had been interrupted.

"Takuto!" Mitsuki cried running to the small room she had last saw him. Her heart froze when she stood in the small door way...The body was gone.

Chapter end