- - - Chapter Eighteen

Clark was quiet, more quiet than usual. Lois watched him going through his daily routine, realizing she was just as quiet as he was but for different reasons. Jason was dealing with his ordeal miraculously, surprising both of them. He had taken some convincing to get him back to school Monday a week after it happened, but he had gone and had a good time with his friends and relaxed, feeling safe and knowing Lex Luthor was dead. But that was the thing that was keeping his parents quiet.

Clark felt guilty and it was eating him up inside. He could've saved Lex's life, but he hadn't. He'd put his son first, as any parent would do, and let the villain die, a smart move in any hero's book. But he still felt guilty.

Lois had known this immediately, telling him nonstop in the days following that he shouldn't feel guilty. Unfortunately, Clark had put walls up that even Lois was having trouble breaking. He opened up after she'd sat him down on their bed and stared at him, daring him to contradict her and telling him he'd done the right thing.

"I know, Lois, it's just," he shrugged, not making eye contact. "I could've saved him. Even if he was a bad person, he didn't deserve to die. Everybody deserves to live. He deserved to live out the rest of his life in jail, but…"

"Lex Luthor was a bad person. He was always a bad person and he would've always been a bad person. We've tried to put him away time and time again and he always got out of jail. If you'd put him in there this time chances are he would've gotten out again and then he would've come after our family again," she watched him carefully. His face had become oddly clouded when she'd begun, but he was looking at her and listening, at least. "I know you're Superman, and I know Superman has almost insane morals," they shared weak smiles, "but if anybody deserved to die it was Lex Luthor. You did the right thing, Clark."

"He wasn't always a bad person," Clark said softly, the same clouded look settling in his eyes.

"What?"

"Lex wasn't always a bad person," Clark said a little more clearly, swallowing nervously and glancing away before bringing his eyes back to her face.

"What are you talking about?"

"He was in Smallville when I was in high school, his dad sent him to run the LuthorCorp factory there, test his business sense," Clark smiled, remembering the conversations in the past when Lex had been his friend. "We were friends."

"You were friends?" She asked, not believing him, but the look on his face drove all doubt from her mind.

"He drove his car off a bridge on the day we met," he said, chuckling, Lois was staring at him. "Sixty miles an hour in a Porsche, hit something on the road, lost control of the car, knocked into me and we both landed in the water."

"Really?"

"It was how I discovered just how invulnerable I am," he smiled, she just stared at him. "It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"You're serious?"

"Yeah, he was my best friend for awhile. I was the best man at his wedding."

"You were in Lex Luthor's wedding?"

"Yeah, he got married during spring break of my senior year. He met his wife, Susan, on a business trip to London. I got to know her pretty well. She was a good person, good for Lex, he needed a good person around. He loved her very much... she died a couple of months after my dad," sadness entered his expression again. "That was what broke him… We had a conversation once about the good and bad in people. He told me that he could feel the dark side of himself creeping up on him… he was right," a shiver went up his spine when he thought about just how right Lex had been about himself. "I wasn't around when he left Smallville and started his life of crime; I'd already left for the Fortress… I used to wonder, right after Superman came around and Lex Luthor stepped up as the supervillain, if I could've stopped him from becoming who he became if I'd just stuck around a little longer…"

Lois looked like she was going to say something but she didn't, just watching him sympathetically. "We'll never know," she finally managed, taking his hands in her own and rubbing her thumbs across them. "How come he didn't recognize you? I mean, if you were best friends, you'd think he would recognize you even in a cape," she asked after a minute. Clark chuckled.

"I think I'd changed too much during my time at the Fortress, and he'd changed too much during his time with the scum of Metropolis," Clark sighed. "He actually contacted me once, me as in Clark," he clarified. "He saw an article with my byline and took me out for a drink to 'catch up,'" he chuckled dryly. "That was the day before he lured me, Superman, into that warehouse where he tested out my abilities," he shook his head. "There was one point where I thought he might've recognized me, a look in his eyes, but he dismissed it right away."

"Superman was best man at Lex Luthor's wedding," Lois said, shaking her head.

"He wasn't always a bad guy, Lois, he was a really great guy for awhile- trying to get out of his father's shadow and do some good in Smallville… That coffee shop that we went to in Smallville, he helped Lana buy it when her aunt died. He did good stuff like that all the time," he shook his head. "He wanted to be a good guy. He knew he had incredible potential to do evil things, he'd had some trouble with it before I met him, but he wanted to move past it…" he shook his head. "I can't believe I let him die."

"Clark," Lois said slowly, she wasn't really sure what she could say that could help him. In one way his best friend had died, in anther his greatest enemy was finally gone. "He might've been a good guy once, but that was a long time ago. He hasn't been anything but trouble for years. He tried to kill you, he tried to kill Jason twice, he would've killed billions of people if you hadn't stopped him… there was no going back for him. Whatever good there was has been gone for a long time. Your friend died when his wife died, so far as I can tell," her voice was gaining strength, and Clark almost looked like he was believing her.

"I could've saved him," he said softly, and they both knew he wasn't just talking about getting him off the sunken Gertrude. Lois just shook her head, pulling him close and holding him there.

Hope you liked this- I know it's not what happened in Smallville, but it's just a different take on what happened... a much less complicated take :) I've got most of the next chapter written, I'm just waiting to see if anybody else has any miraculous questions for Superman I should incorporate. I'll post tomorrow morning for sure, so if you have anything good let me know. Sorry if you don't like the whole Smallville aspect here, sorry if you don't think I did it right, sorry it's so short and that I haven't updated for almost three days! And thank you for sticking this out with me, you're all amazing!