Big thank yous to everyone who has read so far. Spread the word! I won't appear on the front page unless you include M-rating in your selection so I am harder to find.
Some recommended listening for this chapter is BFFF and Only Young, both by Bowling for Soup. But anyway, let's get to the good part.
Axel felt that he absolutely deserved to feel sorry for himself right now.
He wandered, utterly lost, through the business district, eyeing hotdog stands with burning envy. He would do anything for something to eat right about now. Idly, he wondered which of the working men (or even women) passing by him might be open to trade sexual favours for a semi-decent meal. Though he'd probably lose his appetite if he had to do that. That was another option...
'I could die out here, trying to crawl my way back home. I'm not sure where home is from here...' Helpful Axel's brain fed him vividly grotesque images of himself crawling home mid-death on a hot desert sidewalk, nothing but a frail pile of skin and bones (more than he was now, anyway).
After his interview – which was too painful to narrate – he lugged his despondent self to the bus stop only to realise he'd only collected enough small change to make it about one way and a half. No way home, which also meant no money for lunch. He'd been up all night – curse you, beloved video games – and hadn't eaten since him and Roxas finished of an old bag of chips and the last scrapings of dip at about three in the morning. He was so tired. Ugh.
Axel crumpled heavily onto a nearby bench and allowed the looming cloud of self-pity to hang all around him. He almost didn't care that he couldn't be his normal stunningly gorgeous self right now. He didn't have to be eye candy for asshole employers that didn't like his hair or his attitude. Seriously, he could be a trophy employee! How could anyone not hire him?
He flung his head back over the edge of the bench and let out a long-suffering sigh. "Roxa-as... Sa-ave me..." He held the whine for an impressive length.
'This is the end for me' His mind declared dramatically as growing-dimmer green slid closed. 'I'm starving, I'm broke and lost. At least I'll leave a beautiful corpse.'
... Vrrr. Vrrr.
...Vrrr. Vrrr.
"Phone?" He questioned aloud, rather stupidly. Fingers drifted to his pocket, slowly lifting the vibrating piece to his ear. "Axel has passed on and can't come to the phone. Leave a message. If you want to know the time of the funeral service press-"
He could hear the sigh on the other end. Roxas. "I'm going to guess that you're starving, broke and lost."
... Damn, how did he always know? "... Ye-ess..." The pathetic redhead let his head fall back again.
There was a pause on the other line. "Right. I'm not done with Olette but I need lunch. Stay where you are and I'll find you."
"Did I ever tell you that I love you?"
"This is being added to what you owe me once you get a job."
"Never mind, you're horrible to me."
"And don't forget it. I'll be a couple minutes. See you."
"Later." Axel mumbled and let his hand fall back to the bench. The promise of food started to bring his strength back. Gradually. He might just make it.
True to his word, within ten minutes, a flicker of blonde spikes appeared here and there between taller crowdspeople. Maybe there was a God. Or something.
Roxas approached the sorry sight that was his best friend. "Alright, Princess, you can get up from the fainting couch now."
Axel growled a bit, nose still pointed skyward. "Did it take you the whole trip here to come up with that one?" Blindly, he stuck one hand out, expecting to be helped to his feet. Not really expecting, actually. More like marginally hoping. Sort of.
Although somewhat disinclined to after the jab, Roxas grabbed onto his arm and heaved him up none-too-gently. He had to push all the impact onto his back leg to manage the heavy lump of redheaded dead weight. "Come on, big guy. You can do it."
Like a toddler, Axel uncertainly gained the ability to walk on his own after a few assisted steps. So hungry. So tired. Petulant, defensive, ill-tempered and occasionally depressive qualities aside, Roxas was awesome. Much as he acted offended and hard done-by, no one else would have actually saved his ass like this – this being far from the first time. Were he not so assured that he was too charming and too necessary to Roxas to be abandoned, Axel might feel a twinge of guilt at that. Maybe he'd play the caretaker one day when the younger man needed help (... it could happen), though only to actually help as he'd received from Roxas, not nagging. The cleanliness of the apartment and the general productivity and upkeep in their downtime were issues that neither of them cared to raise until it reached an emergency. Like they ever had girls over to impress or friends that weren't used to them or in similar situations themselves.
Roxas – without the additional weight of Axel, thankfully – navigated them towards a simple cafe that would meet their most immediate physiological need. The place smelled kind of strong – like a mix of scented candles that shouldn't be mixed – and was frequented by hippies on weekends, but during weekdays, even at lunchtime, it was quiet and the staff didn't bother you. The food was something to be spoken about, if one was willing to step outside the burger-and-fries range but also avoided the ultra-health items (grasshakes, Roxas affectionately called them). He'd sometimes come here at lunch if he needed to cram in paperwork between bites, or read away from chatter and distraction.
They found themselves a booth by the nearest window and Roxas ordered the same thing for both of them. He figured at this level of hunger Axel would likely get any sustenance down his throat as fast as possible without caring for trivial actions like actually tasting it.
He leaned on his elbows, staring across the table. "So the interview sucked."
"What was your first clue? I didn't want to work there anyway. Somethin' else will open up."
"Will it be by next week? You know how close we are to having our utilities cut off."
"I know." Axel shrunk back sheepishly.
Roxas's gaze hardened. "And that rent isn't far off, which I can't cover on my own."
"I know."
"And come next month I won't be paying for your phone anymore."
"I know..."
They paused for a second to let the server set down their plates. "You have to get a job, Ax, or we'll be out on the street. My parents won't take you in."
"I don't got a fancy degree like you – I can't work anywhere."
"Deliver pizzas for a while then. I did it in high school, it won't kill you."
"You know what it is?" Axel slapped his hand down on the table. "It's my hair. And my tattoos. The earring too. They just don't like 'em! It's prejudice, Rox!"
"The world's not ready for its workers to have black tears inked on their face, eh?" Roxas smirked. Axel knew he was making fun of him, and even he had to admit that the image was strange. Well, when you put it like that it was... "Until it's ready – find a job."
"I'm too talented and charismatic to pack boxes in the back of a factory! My skills are totally underrepresented!"
Roxas balanced a bit of a chicken on his fork, his stare growing long. "You know you just used the word 'totally'? Gay."
"Eat me." Axel grumbled between bites. "I'm willing to work, just nothing's right."
He actually laughed. Traitor. "You're not. You're lazy and you're having high school delusions of some perfect job with recognition and glory."
"I'm hurt! I went to that interview for something totally boring and-"
"There's that 'totally' again..."
"Agh!" Axel dropped his head onto the tabletop. "Okay. I'll ask Zex if he knows any other openings."
"Zexion found you that interview?" He was caught.
His voice was small, muffled with his face in the table. "And... called in a recommendation?"
Roxas watched his hopeless friend for a long guilt-heavy moment. "God, Axel, wake up. You need a job. Any job. We have to get money. We're not being saved, or spotted, and I don't have a back up for you this time. How long has it been since you've had a job? Six, seven months? I don't care that you look like a punk, but someone professional does. The only thing your look is good for is being in a band, which you can't do, and you know Dem's band is broke as fuck anyway. Maybe working in a tattoo parlour, but you suck at anything artistic. I like our apartment, so suck it up and do something humiliating for a while. Fuck!"
"Sorry, man. I'll pick up some classifieds or something this aft-"
"Hey! Axel! Roxas!" A small crowd had gathered by the door. Among them – and hailing the boys at the table – was Kairi (previously mentioned), her friends Selphie, Tidus and Wakka, and... Yuffie? How did they even know each other? There were a couple more people with them that neither Axel nor Roxas could recognize.
"Hey Kairi." They harmonized, in that same enthusiastic tone one might use to sing a funeral march.
The group of them managed to squeeze themselves all into the booth to the slight disgruntlement of the staff. Yuffie naturally took the closest seat to Axel, trapping herself between him and Wakka - which looked like a strange bookend situation, to say the least. She was fine as a person, really, but everyone knew that she had it in for Axel and when she wanted something she could get a bit... predatory.
Roxas watched her carefully. Very carefully.
Someone was chosen as a representative to order for all of them. Yuffie leaned into the redhead – though that wasn't one hundred percent her fault, since someone else was shoving everyone to one side to make room for themselves. "Hey there. Still single, Axel?"
"Still gay, Yuffie."
"You're no fun."
He smirked. "I wouldn't know, ask R-" Roxas was clearing his throat loudly, almost pretending to choke. O-kay...
No one else appeared to take notice. Selphie rested her elbows on the table, crossed under her chest, and leaned closer toward her right, at the blonde nearest her. "I heard Roxas is single now too."
"Actually-"
But Roxas's firm voice drowned his out. "Yeah, just since yesterday."
Kairi laughed. "How'd you find out already, Selph?"
Tidus elbowed the brunette. "Because she's got a twenty-four hour text conversation with Olette." She punched him back.
"Ohh. You know, she seems so sweet but she's got more gossip than anyone."
"Well, yeah. No one suspects her!" A couple of plates were set on their table then. There was no way there'd be room on the surface for everyone's. Hopefully some were just getting drinks. That seemed less likely at lunch time than out at night.
Axel made himself heard this time. "You sure you're single there, Rox?"
The girls perked up in unison. Kairi positively beamed. "What! What's going on?"
His expression revealed nothing. "Who knows. I usually don't know what he's on about." Axel prepared a response, but it shrivelled up in his throat when someone kicked him sharply under the table. He bit into his cheek, meeting an equal glare across the table with Roxas.
"Oh." She seemed disappointed.
Yuffie grinned at him, then at Axel. "Well, what happened with Hayner?"
"Fell out." He speared another bite with his fork. "How about we talk about something interesting?"
"Yeah, let's wrap this up ladies." Wakka looked self-satisfied until Yuffie pinched him hard. "Ow-..hey!"
The petite self-proclaimed ninja pushed herself half-across the table. "Anyway, you better watch out, Roxas. I'm sure a bunch of guys have been waiting to pounce you as soon as Hayner's out of the way."
Kairi giggled, clearly getting in on this sort of talk. Fangirls. "Well, what about Axel? How long has it been since you've been with anyone? I mean, if you walked into any gay club you'd have guys all over you."
"Eh, I've kind of got something going now."
"You do? Since when?"
"Who is it?" Axel could feel a bruise forming as he was kicked again.
He winked, flinchingly. "I've got to keep some mystery about me, don't I?"
Yuffie scowled. "I call bullshit!"
The conversation dissolved a bit once the remaining plates were set on the table. It became a disjointed mashup of three different groups, each discussing something entirely separate, occasionally interrupting one another and crossing into another conversation. Or something. Roxas wasn't really paying attention anymore as he finished eating.
He checked his watch. "I've got to get back. Another time, guys, Axel." Roxas stood, waiting for the four other people on the bench to let him out.
"Hey, hey, wait!" Axel simply crawled out over the crowd on his side.
"Aw, you're going too?"
He waved back to the table, "I've got to mooch some cab fare," and booked it out to meet Roxas, who had covered a surprising distance for his short legs and was already out on the sidewalk.
He caught up with his roommate, "For a second I thought you'd really leave me."
"Didn't make it out fast enough. Won't happen again." Roxas smirked at him, with just the smallest touch of cheek.
Axel ignored him. "So, about the money you were lending to me..."
"Walk with me as far as the crosswalk before you run off with my money." Axel obeyed, hands sliding into his back pockets as he slowed his stride enough to walk alongside Roxas. The blonde didn't speak again for about seven steps. "So why don't you straight up tell Yuffie to fuck off? I mean, she gets hints, she just doesn't care."
"She knows I'm as straight as a showtune. 'Sides, Yuffie's a guy a week and likes a challenge. Best to just let her get it out of her system." He glanced toward Roxas. He'd never really thought about it, but two flamboyant characters such as themselves walking side by side... they already looked like a couple. Hm. Someone should have pointed that out earlier. Given that, he could get away with more right here and no one would be less approving than they already were.
"It's been at least a couple months." Roxas pointed out, tonelessly.
"That long?"
"Yes. You tear apart other girls – and guys – who want you, why not her?" He kicked a cigarette butt into the gutter, watching it roll away. "She's getting scarier. Probably waiting for the right moment to roofie you."
Axel started to laugh, hard. "That'd be real effective. If she's interested in fucking me."
"... She could be."
"Relax, Rox. If you're that worried you should have put your claim on me while we were there. What was up with that?"
"What claim?" He snorted. "Are you mine now? Are you my man?"
"Uh... no..." Roxas may have had a point there. He was still acting so reluctant – what for? Wasn't this his idea? The conversation in the restaurant had him thinking. If they weren't dating... was he then single? Was Roxas? Or was there something in between? Could he fuck other people still, if he wanted? More importantly, would he be okay with it if Roxas did?
They stopped at the corner and waited with the crowd for the light to change. Axel's eyes were drawn to his friend's right hand, currently close enough that it could be touching his left hip if a breeze went by. And he didn't think.
His hand was moving, almost trying to sneak up on him and avoid rejection. Long fingers curled around Roxas's unsuspecting palm. His hold lasted less than a second before Roxas snapped his arm back against his side, as though a surge of electricity had generated from the hand holding his. What the hell was Axel doing?
Axel... wasn't sure whether he should be offended. "What was that?"
"Come on man, have I ever held your hand before?" Roxas levelled his gaze, raising one eyebrow.
"Not unless you were dead or dying."
"Yeah, so I'm not about to." The little white walking man flashed and people started to cross. His voice was rushed, as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket, seeking some change. "You sould come back to Olette's with me and help move boxes and shit. Give you something to do for the rest of the day."
"Eh, that labour doesn't sound like me." It wasn't as though he wasn't doing anything with his day. He was sure he'd find something to do at the apartment. Perhaps he'd make a pirate ship out of the couch or, more likely, watch infomercials all day and slowly into the cushions until he could technically be considered part of them. "Paying my way home is the best way to keep me out of trouble."
He was probably right. Across the street the walking man had changed to a flashing red hand. Roxas awkwardly piled bills into the bony hand outstretched to him. "That's more than you need. Don't keep it, I'll know. I should be back-... in a few hours. Actually, several, more like." He was turning and walking away as he spoke. "See you."
"Later." They parted in converse directions. Roxas jogged a bit to make it safely to the other side as the red hand became solid.
Axel glanced down at his left hand, flexing it a bit, then shrugging and pushing his way to the curb to wave down a taxi.
That day it was discovered that it took exactly... whatever several hours was... for Axel to go properly insane with Roxas gone and nothing better to fill his time with. His mind refused to perform any function that related to finding another job today, so that was out. He'd finished his last game and they didn't have the money to buy anything new. Roxas was the only one with a laptop, which was password protected (likely rightfully so, after Axel infected it with all his porn downloads and it had to be wiped).
There might have been something he could do but thinking about it got him agitated and stubborn. He wanted Roxas around so there could at least be some banter and he wouldn't be left alone with the voices in his head.
In his boredom and lack of Roxas, looting the blonde's room seemed like the appropriate way for Axel to entertain himself. He was sure to find some good stuff, and in all likelihood, a goodly amount of humiliating crap. He could go for laughing at whatever his best friend kept hidden in his room.
He shoved open the door. The initial once-over yielded nothing but the usual slightly-less-junky-than-Axel's junk pile. Like that would stop him. His time living with Roxas, and all the years crashing at his house before that taught the superspy-like redhead that Rox would never keep the same things in the same place twice, if that spot was ever found out. So, drawers, closet, and under the bed were far too obvious and instantly counted out of the search.
His pillow was lifted and turned inside out. A couple of condoms had been stashed under it, but nothing revolutionary. Good old Roxas, always prepared. Axel wondered if he'd leave them there if this sex-agreement turned out to be a regular thing. What were they doing there now? It had to be for Hayner.
Oddly enough, Axel didn't like that thought.
The overcrowded chair-turned-nightstand seemed a bit too open but hey, sometimes the best things hide in plain sight? Or... however that phrase goes. Fuck, who cares. Some bills (Axel pretended not to see those), souvenirs from his parents vacationing overseas, a few blank subscription cards from the backs of car catalogues, inside comic books, or DVD cases, and a couple popsicle sticks with the tiniest amount of sticky residue remaining. Boring.
He checked under the mattress next. Nothing but the porno he'd planted there himself hoping Hayner might find it one day. Hayner was the jealous type and watching Roxas try to squirm out of it would be entertaining enough to make the beating he'd receive after worth it.
The bed area was barren of anything remotely interesting... though there wasn't much else in terms of hiding spots. He checked again. A small set of drawers with a pile of movies and games obscuring the entire top surface, the slid-closed closet door, Roxas's fancy work clothes handing on the back of the door, an old corkboard (purchased by Roxy's mother), with some notes, posters, photos, letters and whatever else Roxas wanted. They'd all been stuck to the board with CDs from when they were kids that they'd cut into ninja stars back when they still found that cool. Nothing had been added to that since high school, so there was no point in looking.
Literally, his closet was the only place left. Maybe Roxas had relaxed his security, or forgotten (unlikely, with what he found last time), or had found a mouse hole or something. He wouldn't dig his own in a rental... unless he had something really good to hide.
The cheap door slammed into the frame with a loud clacking sound. Axel crouched, digging through the still-unpacked-after-a-year-and-a-half boxes. If this went on, he'd have to admit that Roxas was just as boring as he looked.
A stack of thin cards toppled under his hand... wait, not cards. Photos. Man, it seemed archaic to have real physical photos anymore. They were probably pretty old stuff.
Axel flicked past the family photos (there weren't even any embarrassing baby photos, though he'd seen all of those a long time ago). It was his own flame-red hair that caught his eye in one. The miniature versions of himself and Roxas didn't look too impressed with having their photo taken. Not surprising, as they were only censored by bubbles and the skin that was visible was almost vivid pink-red.
'Huh.' Axel tipped back to sit, staring at the picture, 'I completely forgot about that day 'til I saw this...'
Autumn day. That kind of day where you thought autumn was lying to you because it must still be summer. Not cold but too windy to play outside. The ten and seven year old boys had only just sworn they'd be okay alone for an hour while Axel's mother went out. Of course, no one should ever believe that ten and seven year old boys will be 'okay' when left alone for an hour.
Axel climbed up onto the railing of the stair, carefully balancing on the end, in a delicate place between either falling or hurting something very sensitive. "So, what're we gonna do while she's gone?"
"I dunno," Roxas sat cross-legged on one of the stairs (he could fit in that position at his age), "Does your mom have anything cool?"
"No, she's a mom, duh." He rested his chin in his palms, "So what do you want to do?"
"I wish we could go swimming." They lived just over reasonable walking distance from a just under reasonable sized beach.
"No way, the water'd be too cold and the wind would blow sand in your face." Axel swung his legs for a second then lit up. "Hey, my mom's bath is huge. Not as big as a pool, but we'd both fit."
"Cool! Race 'ya!" Roxas half-flipped out of his position, tearing up the stairs, his shirt already discarded. Axel followed at a slower, cooler pace. After all, he was the oldest.
The bath looked almost like a Jacuzzi without jets. Roxas was balancing on the large rim when Axel arrived, arms overstuffed with colourful towels. He threw them carelessly to the floor. He figured that was about the right number they needed.
Roxas was already taking off his pants. "It'd be more fun if there were bubbles. Does your mom have any of that stuff?"
"I don't think so. If she does she hid it somewhere."
"Oh," The small blonde boy looked defeated only for a second, "Wait, I know!" And he rushed out of the bathroom again.
Axel shrugged a bit, starting to strip off his own clothes. He and Roxas had taken baths together before, and swam naked in the pond behind his old house together (he wouldn't realise until later in life how diseased that place probably was). Anyway, he didn't mind getting naked and hanging out in the water with Roxas. He always got over-excited when they were going to go swimming though.
It took a grand total of sixteen seconds for Roxas to return. He was holding a bottle of bright orange dish soap that had rested beside the kitchen sink. "This should work, right?"
Axel was already running the bath. "Are you sure? That's just for dishes."
"No, says right here you can wash your hands with it." Roxas uncapped it and went to sit on the edge again, only in superhero briefs, "You use this stuff when you run out of the liquid you blow bubbles with. It'll work."
That seemed perfectly logical. "Oh. Okay. Pour it in right where the water comes out."
The tap was turned full on cold to simulate a real swimming pool. Roxas held the soap in the stream and squeezed the bottle as hard as he could. It was at least a full minute he held it like that - until the entire surface was covered in bubbles – then threw it aside. They tossed off the last of their clothing and climbed inside. As more water filled the tub, the bubbles just grew. When at last the taps were shut off the mildly tangerine-scented bubbles reached the boys' chins and spilled out over the sides of the bath. Dish soap foams fast. But this, of course, is a seven-or-ten year old boy's dream.
They tackled into each other, bearing handfuls of foam. They gave each other foam beards, bubble hats and hair. They pushed hard into the soapy water until it cascaded over the other (and the edge as well). They threw the bubbles into the air and at each other. The boys found constant ways to make each other laugh with their never ending supply.
Their hour was nearly up before either of them began to notice something wrong. Roxas had started squirming a while ago but now it was getting unbearable. "Axel, I'm all itchy."
"Yeah, I kinda am too..." Axel shook the foam from his arm. His skin was a raw red colour, lined with thin white cracks. The air made it burn. "Ow. What...?"
They brushed each other off, finding that the better percentage of their bodies looked like that. Immediately the panicked boys jumped from the tub and started furiously rubbing soap off their bodies as fast as they can. Roxas whined loudly and hopped around in agony.
It was about that time Axel's mother got home to her ruined bathroom, son and temporary ward. The boys kneeled on the tile floor, soaking it and the towels they brought, scratching their skin and throwing bubbles off, all the while groaning and blaming one another. Her first reaction was anger, then amusement, then pity. She lectured them on what certain soaps are meant for then took them both to the shower to clean off properly. She couldn't help taking a quick picture of their misfortune before she did though.
Axel smirked a bit as he remembered their childish idiocy (and lied to himself if he thought they'd grown out of it), then shook it off. 'I'm not a nostalgic old man, come on.'
He did allow himself the small indulgence of taking in a few more pictures of him and Roxas. There was a pretty good one from a party they went to while in college. It was one of the only times that Roxas and his friends partied together with Axel and his friends. He must have had too much to drink (not surprising) because Axel remembered less about this one than the photo of him at ten years old.
In a testament to how much they had matured in the decade since that last photo, the day this was taken, they'd had another flash of creative inspiration to keep themselves entertained. Axel remembered a too-hot summer day with nothing to do, and all of them hanging out at Demyx's. The lighter drinkers were keeping hydrated on soda until night fell while others, namely Axel, Roxas, Demyx, Larxene and co. just threw that rule to the wind and started on their beers early.
Demyx had one of those inflatable kiddie pools. Very shallow but pretty long, enough to fit a good number of people inside if they wanted water up to their ankles. Axel couldn't remember now who had suggested human bumper cars. He knew he had been one of five or six people to rush inside to find anything slippery – oils, creams, personal lubricant (only unused bottles, relax). Those inebriated beyond all hope of dignity spent most of the afternoon crashing into each other in the greased up kiddie pool until their well-over-capacity weight blew a hole into it.
It was nighttime in the photo. The majority of the party was inside now but a handful of people had crawled out onto the roof. Axel's group and Roxas's group were clearly visible, dotted around points of the gently angled roof. Axel (still visibly somewhat lubed) had his face buried in Roxas's knees and brown bottles in both of his outstretched hands. The blonde had drunk past pride and looked to be genuinely enjoying himself. He was in the midst of speaking but hell if Axel could remember what he said. Looking at the photo put the dregs of a song he couldn't remember into Axel's mind. He determined it must have been playing when this was taken, or at some point that night. Maybe Roxas was singing – just trashed enough to do so. Somewhere along the line they had drawn ink moustaches on everyone in the picture.
Axel threw the picture down before he could waste any more time remembering things. He hated thinking on the past, even on good things. It left less time for now.
He couldn't help noticing Roxas's face staring up at him from another image on the ground. In this one, though, Hayner stood close next to him, their arms slung around each other. Hm. Axel flipped it face down on the floor, revealing another – Roxas and Hayner at some Christmas party, keeled over in a mess of blonde drunkenness. Axel shoved this one away as well. In the next photo underneath Roxas and Hayner were squished cheek-to-cheek among a crowd of other people, both subtly flipping the bird to the camera. Four more pictures later and still all of that sickeningly adorable couple. Axel toppled the pile over, refusing to look again.
That wasn't all that was hidden in the sunken little box at the back of the closet. It seemed like Roxas was gaining quite the collection. Ticket stubs from a concert he went to with Hayner, some weird doodles obviously given to him by Hayner reading "was bored at work" at the bottom, a folded shirt with a note pinned to it: "return to H".
'I'm going to puke if I find a sex tape in here.' Wait, what was he saying? That would be hot.
Still, apart from those childhood photos, he could see nothing but Hayner. Hayner, Hayner, Hayner. All fucking Hayner.
Axel stopped looking abruptly. He wasn't interested anymore. None of this was even funny, or especially shameful to Roxas. It bothered him. Er... not bothered, exactly. It... honestly, he didn't know. He'd never felt jealous before. And he wasn't jealous now.
He just wanted to throw the box out the window.
'I could get rid of it. I'm not... jealous, but how wants this gross old stuff around?' He'd be doing Roxas a favour. After all, he'd just been complaining about Hayner last night. To Axel. It was only right. He'd even be taking care of it for Roxas so he wouldn't have to deal with the pain and tediousness. It really was the right thing to do, he was convinced.
Axel pushed himself to his feet. He'd have to do it in his own room... just in case. The content of the tiny overstuffed garbage can next to his bed was dumped into the kitchen garbage. He kicked aside some of the clutter to make floor space and his fan was set to max. Any and all items related into Hayner were gathered and thrown into the empty pail, along with some of his own paper for fuel. From what Axel remembered, photo paper burned well.
He flicked the lighter again and again until some of the edges caught. Orange light flickered and flared. He watched the corners blacken and curl with satisfaction, and holes eat their way out from the inside, disfiguring the images. He didn't really know why this felt so good (beyond the pleasure burning normally gave him). He didn't care why. He still wasn't jealous.
It had always been weird to think of Roxas in a relationship. Roxas was so painfully unromantic and usually chilly to all forms of affection, or being touched at all, really. Axel couldn't figure out why anyone would willingly date the prickly young man. Unless it was just about him being attractive. Otherwise, who could stand someone that stubborn, dishonest, verbally abusive... Axel could only because he'd known him forever. That, and he was quite arguably insane all on his own. It helped.
No matter what, he'd never liked the notion of dating, especially related to Roxas. It didn't seem like him. Not like the Roxas he knew. Axel didn't think that made him resentful. It was just fucked up, that's all!
That said... maybe Rox had a point with this whole friends with benefits thing. Or whatever it was. He didn't intend to decide on a title, and his tiny best friend probably didn't either. If that was the case, then he couldn't be blamed if he didn't know where certain boundaries lay. Like the hand-holding thing. So not his fault!
"Agh..." His fire was weakening, but less remained for a spark to blaze off of. The last orange colour crawled over the page in thin lines and curls, then faded. Heavy smoke was flung into his face the moment the flicker was gone. Axel's eyes and throat stung, feeling dry yet watering as he fumbled and tripped over himself to get the window open and let some out. He blinked to clear the stinging, sniffling and wiping his sleeve under his nose. Right. Ventilation.
It took a couple moments for enough smoke to clear that he could get back to his "sacrifice" though the room was still vastly hazy, and much was slipping under the door into the rest of the apartment. He really fucking hoped that wouldn't set off any alarms.
He shuffled with the papers until the remaining fresh white paper was pushed to the top and could be lit again. He cleared away from it this time, only keeping the window open a fraction. Axel didn't want huge plumes escaping and alerting the tenants below, prompting some falsely noble asshole to call the cops.
It took a while of turning and repeating the burning process to finally reduce the evidence of that relationship to ashes. It settled something in Axel's mind, though it wasn't quite like closure. What would he need closure from anyway?
It wasn't until he'd flung slightly sweaty red hair back against his bed in contentment with his good work that he even considered the time. When did Roxas say he'd be home again?
...
"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit..." Axel flung himself off the floor towards the windows, throwing them wide open. The smoke was far too visible. The smell clung everywhere. Roxas would skin him for setting fires in their apartment (again). And... right now he wasn't so sure he'd be approving of what he was burning, mostly considering he'd already be pissed off when he found out.
"Ah, fuck me in the ass!" The vents were switched on, along with any other fans. Axel himself started fanning smoke out once he was sure he had all the windows open.
Even if he was killed today, at least the goddamn pictures would be gone.
Night had painted itself over the sky by the time Roxas forced his exhausted ass up to the apartment. He probably wasn't going to make it much past walking in the front door. Despite this, for whatever reason he'd rented a movie. Yeah, the process of renting was going out of practice but Sora worked at a rental place right now, so he got the movies absolutely free with no download time. Plus, the place was a hole in the wall that no one ever went to, so he could go weeks on end without returning the movie and no one would care. Usually he just waited until Sora showed up at the apartment and took it back for him. No work involved and life was good.
He didn't remember what movie he picked up. Sora had just handed him something, so all odds pointed to it being either stupid, fucked up fantasy, or both.
"Hey, Axel. You still among the living?" He kicked the door shut behind him and-
Why the hell was it freezing in here?
The definite culprit sprung up from where he'd been hidden by the back of the couch. The guilt was almost pouring off of him."Roxas! You've been gone forever. I didn't think you had work."
"I didn't. I told you I was helping Olette. Then everyone got dinner and I went to Sora's work for a bit." He was staring Axel down and everyone knew it.
'Don't notice the smell, don't notice the smell...' Axel was pretty sure he'd cleared the apartment of any traces of smoke, but he couldn't help the paranoia that he'd just adjusted to it and Roxas would see right through him no matter what. "So... did you bring me dinner?"
For a second, he might have believed that his dependable friend had forgotten him. The blonde man finally sighed and tossed a styrofoam carton on the kitchen table. "Only until you get groceries. Everything's gone bad."
"Great! Sure." Axel could feel the unspoken accusation beating down on him. "Ah...heh, if it's about the windows being open it's... you know me, I get too hot. And uh, I was also cooking something, yeah. Burned really bad, had to air the place out. Didn't want the fire department up here. Oh, but the pan's not out though because... 'cause..."
Roxas smirked. "Dude, I really don't care what you did." He tossed the store-logo-emblazoned case onto Axel's chest and headed for his bedroom. He needed a sweater. A few sweaters. He hadn't noticed the smell anyway, just the cold. "Just close the goddamn windows."
"Yes sir!" His relief at not being scalped was almost beyond expression. Somehow he didn't even register the movie falling as he got up to shut the few windows and turn off the fans. He didn't feel much colder, himself. It was actually somewhat pleasant in here for once.
Roxas dropped onto the crappy couch, zipping a hooded sweater over a long-sleeve shirt. "I got this movie. Don't know if it's any good. I'll probably fall asleep watching it."
Usually they would fight over who put the movie in, even if one of them was already up. Usually it would lead to a physical struggle, which took much more effort than putting in the movie... but the principle of the thing. At the moment Axel still hummed with the anxiety that he'd be caught, so he slid the DVD into the player as a sign of apologetic servitude. Then, and only then, did he throw himself onto Roxas's unsuspecting body.
"Ngh! You dumb- faggot- get off!" He swung his fist into the older man's chest, struggling to push him off the couch. There was a moment of pause in which Roxas's knees kept Axel suspended a foot over himself while he pressed play.
"Oh yeah, I've heard of this." Axel idly grabbed Roxas's head and forced it under his arm. "S'pposed to be okay, but the acting sucks."
Roxas was somewhat difficult to understand, impaired by his face in Axel's armpit. If anyone out there thinks it's reasonably easy to talk with your head under someone's arm, it's not. "Didn't think it would... it's got uh, that guy in it."
"Yeah." Axel couldn't remember his name either. Wasn't important. They were still locked in a climactic battle over couch space.
The blonde wrestled his way out and manoeuvred to sit on Axel, pushing his face into the cushions. "As long as the chick in it doesn't scream and cry the whole time." He jabbed his elbow into the back of Axel's neck, keeping him down.
"Ow- That's what all women do in horror movies unless they're the badass or the crazy one. Fact." He shoved against the awful cheater of a roommate. It was damn near impossible to push him off from where he was trapped. Of course Roxas knew this from years of experience and was using it against him. Axel would never do that. Axel was the freakin' saint in this friendship or... whatever you call it.
They grappled for possession of the couch while the introduction played. The beginning was always dry and cheesy, thus hardly worth their attention. Priority fell to getting a spot for themselves. There was an attempt to have both of them take one end but, typical of them, it ended in a war to shove feet in the other's face to see who would cave first.
Axel got an arm around Roxas's chest, who instinctively started fighting it. "Wait, Rox. C'mere." Almost like dragging around the dumb dog he had as a kid, Axel pulled the smaller of the two up to one end of the couch. He tried to shift and arrange their bodies, one in front of the other. "There. That work for you?"
Roxas paused. "Uh, Axel? Are you trying to spoon me?"
"What of it?" He pinched Roxas's side, earning a slight twitch. "Look kid, you're skinny. I, despite being a sex god, am also pretty damn thin. We fit like this, quit being a baby."
The greatest response Roxas could invent for that was, "Who are you calling 'kid'?"
Silence then. Well, other than the occasional scream. The on screen characters were picked off one by one doing predictably stupid things. Going off alone. Getting out of the broken down car. Ignoring obvious warnings. Trying to scare their friends. Calling out into shadowy hallways. Having sex. There's a bit of satisfaction to watching a group with seemingly no notion of self-preservation doom themselves systematically. You know, behind the frustration.
The awkwardness of their proximity started to fade as both men were entranced by a particularly gory display. Neither of them had ever especially liked to be touched (excluding for obvious purposes), but this wasn't too bad. Blood does that. As does entrails wrapped wetly around rusty spikes. And half-gouged eyeballs swinging on their fleshy cords.
Axel laughed aloud at overdone splattering sound and the soonafter horrified girl's screeching. "No way!"
Roxas elbowed him a bit, grinning. "Man, did you see that? Gross."
"No one has that much blood in their head, even if their face just exploded."
"Head? There's not that much blood in the whole body. He just painted the walls and that girl."
A choking sound drew attention back from their blood-volume discussion. Some metal device that looked a bit like pliers was forced inside the girl's mouth. Axel's mouth dropped open a bit – kind of the opposite effect of what a normal person would do watching that scene, that being, sealing their lips tightly shut forever. "Oh shit. What's that?"
"Dude, are they actually going to...?"
"Seriously? If they really..."
The weird pliers shoved all the way into her throat. Scream. Gargle. Silence.
Roxas punched a hand into the air (somewhat awkwardly, from this position). "He actually did. I take it back, this movie is awesome."
Axel's expression was similar to that of a person who had snatched the last freshly prepared grilled cheese in a cafeteria when all that remained otherwise was the too-wet pre-wrapped egg salad. You know. That one. "I don't care that it's impossible to rip someone's vocal chords out. I've been waiting for years for someone to do that to the girls in these movies."
Roxas grinned, unwittingly settling into the redhead's body with his eyes still fixed ravenously on the celluloid carnage. "Good, nothing else would shut her up."
"It's really too bad she's going to die after this," Axel mused, appearing quite genuinely remorseful. "She'd make a great wife now."
The two exploded into laughter. "Good call!"
Axel leaned even closer to the screen, his arms in creating an even firmer lock around Roxas to do so. The weight in his arms actually wasn't bad. It was like having a toy there as a kid, or leaning into a pillow. Or... a Roxas. They didn't align fantastically and Axel's right arm was going numb but it was nice enough. At least it was an improvement over sitting with their feet in each other's faces. Shame Rox wasn't more touchy-feely because watching him get comfortable in small ways, he now noticed, was fucking adorable. Adorable in a I've-known-you-my-whole-life-and-I-think-you're-hot-but-it's-like-getting-the-hots-for-my-brother kind of way. You know what it's like.
And Roxas... at this point honestly didn't care that Axel was outright hugging him. It wasn't as though they'd never embraced before. Just not lying on the couch. And spooning. Almost cuddling. With acute awareness of the spice-warm breath against his neck and that only a few thin layers separated his ass from what pressed up against it from behind. Hm... they still hadn't continued from this morning...
'I really shouldn't be thinking of that watching this. That'd be great, looking like some sadist who gets off on guts being ripped out.' A sharp, resounding crunch. 'Oh, thank god. Someone's femur burst out. Definitly not getting it up to that. There's a bullet in that happy place.'
Roxas shrugged unnoticeably, one of his hands relaxing naturally over Axel's arm. That shouldn't be weird, he figured, and it really did fall into place there. He wouldn't admit he thought this, even to himself, but if this sort of thing came with being friends with benefits... well, he was down with that.
Something was still digging at Axel. A little flesh-eating monster central to his stomach.
"Roxas..." Crap. That wasn't meant to sound serious. He cleared his throat, strongly playing up his usual smug sort of drawl just to force the tone out of his mouth. "Apropos of nothing here. You and Hayner ever used to do this?"
"Watch movies? Or whatever it is we're doing right now?"
"Uh..." Somehow he hadn't expected Rox to see clear through him. Dumb move. Seeing as he could read the blonde like a picture book, it made sense that it worked the other way. "Both I guess."
"Movies, yeah. Horror movies, yeah. Not this position. Neither of us are all that tall, so we didn't end up with this problem. Maybe I'd lean on him or vice versa."
"Ah, yeah. Thought it'd be somethin' like that."
There was a strange pause. "So why the question?"
Axel made an effortless excuse for himself. "Hm. Don't know. I hoped there'd be something funny I could pin him with, or know what Seifer's getting now."
"You actually want to think about that?"
Uh, no. He didn't. Why did he say that? He was exceptionally good it seemed at digging his grave over and over. The thing had to be hundreds of feet deep by now. "Er... no, not really."
"So... you're jealous." He put up a hand. "It doesn't matter, so don't get defensive."
"And you? Keeping me so valiantly away from Yuffie's groping hand."
"Common courtesy. I'm legitimately concerned for your safety when she's around."
"But jealous."
Pause. Longer pause. "It's still not awkward, right?"
"Nah, we're the same as always." Axel didn't know if he believed that. Or maybe, if that was true now, it wouldn't be one day – given a few days or weeks. He said it, truthfully as he could muster because he wanted to believe it himself. Why did wanting about being allowed to fuck someone interfere with the lifelong friendship? Shouldn't, right? That's what you'd think.
And yet this position was just too opportune.
Fuck feeling uncomfortable, Axel figured, quite logically. "So, you ever cozy up like this not watching movies?"
His hand was covertly tracing the younger man's thigh. Roxas didn't seem to notice. "Maybe he tried to. I dunno."
"He was clingy?" Somehow, he didn't like that.
"No worse than you are. At least with less groping-"
"I don't even-"
"While I'm on the phone-"
"Aw, come on-"
"With work-"
"That was one time!" Axel jabbed two fingers under Roxas's ribs. "Don't suppose you ever tried to get all cuddly with him?"
Roxas's voice was distant, distracted by some dude getting caught in a trap and ripped clean in two. "Not really."
"So..." Axel's hand was sliding over his hip, fingertips brushing the small strip of flesh visible just over his pants. "Hayner never did anything like this?"
That got his attention. He couldn't help the reflexive inhale at the too-light touch to such a sensitive and ticklish belt of nerves. "Axel, what are you doing?"
"What? Answer the question." Fingers slipped under his sweater, splaying warmly against his stomach, not quite touching where he needed it.
"No. Because he wasn't trying to act like a character from a chick flick. Again, what are you doing?"
"I'm just touching you. Wasn't this the plan?"
"You could be a lot less lame about it." He had a point though. This morning was just about the farthest from satisfying you could get. And they were already in a rather promising arrangement on the couch. Still, Roxas couldn't melt into his arms just because he was being playful. And a moron. He preferred the touching-only part.
"Humour me? He ever do this?" The breath on his neck became a pair of lips. A thumb and forefinger closed around his left nipple, rolling it gently, just enough for pleasure to snake up into his brain and settle there, buzzing pleasantly.
"Nn, The idea was the same." Roxas didn't move but to shift his arm out of Axel's way. This was humiliating... but that didn't mean he should stop.
"Yeah?" He sucked almost imperceptibly light at his pulse. This was all kinds of fun for Axel, despite not wanting to hear any more about Roxas and Hayner's sex life.
He couldn't access both hands from this angle. He'd have to abandon the tormenting fingers on his chest. He half-crawled down to Roxas's fly, unzipping it easily but not going so far as to delve inside. One hand cupped between his legs, unmoving and unmentioned but obvious to both.
The image on screen became a white blip, then went out. Roxas let the remote drop from his hand. In the silence, a few cop sirens blared past their building far below, then gradually faded away.
To say the movement was smooth would be a vicious lie. The way Roxas sort of three-point turned-slash-scooted onto his opposite side was neither graceful nor sexy. But it served to get them as close as they needed. His left arm was squished under him to make room, his right found a home sliding up and down Axel's back. Meanwhile, the redhead trapped between him and the couch had cleverly situated his crushed arm under Roxas's jaw, occasionally stroking a thumb over his cheek.
With that pivotal hand he pulled the blonde into an intense kiss. Knowing what they were doing this time, it was pushed harder within a second. Rough lips were trying to force Roxas back, stirring deep-seated heat and a competitive flare. Axel's challenge was met, and he was now being held firmly round the hips to give Roxas leverage to drive the kiss deeper, darting his tongue into secret little pleasure points within his friend's mouth. It seemed like a good enough time to pull that lip-biting trick from this morning.
Axel stiffened as those evil little teeth tugged gently on his lower lip. Damn it, how did he figure that out already? Something about catching that nerve set off a flurry of pyrotechnics directly between his thighs. Goddamn. Now the little bastard had something on him. But he was smart, so that was easily rectified.
He shifted their position, practically on top of his younger friend as it was, parting his legs with one of his own. The free had which has supported him against the couch brushed Roxas's side and wandered up over his chest, coming to rest on his shoulder. It served an extra function to hold him where he wanted in order to claim his mouth. Even more weight pressed down on Roxas because of it, but he could take it. The feeling was little more than a comfortable sort of hardness and pressure anyway.
Axel was mildly satisfied with Roxas crushed under his body, bending one leg a bit to pin one of those underneath him, just for good measure. Two hands tilted his head back, breaking the kiss, and only one stayed, held firmly against the back of his neck. Roxas sat halfway up, propping himself on one elbow to dip his head under Axel's jaw. He nipped at the flesh again and again, always following by sucking the light mark. He could feel the body above him tense with need and harden a bit more against his stomach; he didn't need to head the quiet moan.
'No way is he getting me to act like a little bitch 'cause he can shove me around' Had they been open, Axel would have narrowed his eyes. He pulled away from the grip Roxas had him in, holding the back of his head and drawing him into another long kiss. 'He was just like this that one time in grade six, when-... nevermind.' Did he mention how much his mind's timing sucked?
One hand held blonde hair, gripping unconsciously with each rhythmic grind between their closed and growing erections. The kiss was hardly pulled apart but for short seconds as one or the other tilted his head for a new angle and their lips met again. Roxas's hand was sneaking over the leg that held his own down, rubbing up and down, dangerously close to his ass. He was not about to lay back and be taken.
Hands above him were roaming endlessly, back down Roxas's chest – pausing briefly over his abdomen for grounding as Axel dove his tongue deeper inside his mouth, tasting the wet cavern for everything it would give him. He palmed his covered cock, only giving himself a second to knead there and get his attention, then torturously let go to run over his thigh and back under his body. He splayed his fingers against his lower back, starting to push his shirt up. Roxas got the idea and sat up, Axel staying spread across his lap. Blue met green, then travelled down to where his own hasty fingers were unzipping his hoodie. There was a moment of strain and potential for dislocated shoulders as he hurriedly removed his sweatshirt and Axel lifted the sweater beneath it. The garments both hit the ground with a decisive slap.
It seemed he hadn't moved at all, yet somehow Axel's lips had materialised over his naked stomach, kissing not quite lightly enough to make him squirm and sucking not quite hard enough to make him moan. He was clutching Roxas's half-bare hips, keeping them against the couch. They didn't seem to get the message, as with each alert from the pleasure-fried nerves being ravaged by Axel's mouth, he would try to rock his hips up. It was clear where he wanted his friend to be kissing instead. He dreaded how much more teasing he would have to endure before then.
Otherwise Roxas was free to move, which he took advantage of. He bit into his lip, sitting up enough to grip the hem of Axel's shirt, tugging it up to his shoulders. The redhead was forced to let go then, just long enough for it to be stripped away entirely. It distracted him from what he was doing. He wanted to borrow use of Roxas's lips again, though in his eagerness as he pulled himself up, it was more like commandeering.
"Mnh." The slight sound before his mouth was occupied with kissing Axel again was clear enough to the both of them. Blood-toned hair scratched against his cheek irksomely. He twitched a bit. He could catch the scent of it from here too. Strange, though, that it wasn't quite the same as usual. Smoky? No... more like ashy. He'd been burning something. As far as he was concerned, that was the last thing he needed to be thinking about right now. He wanted more. And he wanted more power.
There was some scuffling and unwanted tugging of limbs and "Ah, watch it, Rox." but Roxas managed to pull himself on top of Axel, one leg pressed quite noticeably up against his crotch. He leaned his weight into him, massaging over his sides.
Their chests were heaving, pumping air as hard as each could. Their hips gyrated against one another to the same pulse. The heat in the room amplified almost unbearably. Cobalt eyes slid open thoughtlessly, catching sight of his oldest friend. The grid-pattern of light coming in through the windows lit his features in bar-shapes. Avoiding poetry the best he could, he couldn't help but find it...mesmerizing. Axel. Useless, careless, perverse beyond humour, hopelessly idiotic, bad-tempered, and often hygienically repulsive Axel. So fucking sexy. His eyes had closed against the pleasure, oddly short eyebrows creased and pressed together. Thin lips had gone bright and kiss-reddened, a corner glistening from some misplaced saliva. His cheeks had flushed – unusual for him, as he was usually warmer than he should be – which contrasted in a bizarre way with the solid black teardrops on them. All the pale skin from angular jaw to too-bony collarbones was marked with small bruises – Roxas's. Bright red hair had dampened slightly at the hairline and now shot back at all angles across the cushion. Normally he'd make fun of Axel with his hair so hilariously mane-like but now he just looked...
... He looked damn good, alright?
Freezing. Wet. White. He was perched over an eight year old version of Axel. The sun was almost blinding reflected off the snow that seemed to occupy every bit of his vision that the boy didn't; It made parts of him hazy - or maybe that was the blur of an aged memory. Axel was laughing, and something made him suspect that he was too. He'd shoved him, we was pretty sure, down into this bank just a second before. The only part of himself that Roxas could see was his own tiny hand stretched in front of him, forcing a handful of snow into Axel's jacket.
Red hair and a pink face were soaked with melted snow. Almost inhumanly green eyes seemed to glow with the light and contrast. It was the best kind of winter day. Roxas-
'Why did I think of that now? I... Fuck-!" He had stopped, one hand held tightly over his eyes.
Axel stared at him, not so much concerned as confused. "Something up?"
"Huh?" Roxas realised how fucked up he must look. He shook it off. "Nah, just thinkin' of something." He knew Axel wouldn't bother asking what. He'd probably just say-
"'That's the case, get back to it."
"... Yeah." He kissed Axel, needing a reminder from all his senses that he was here and now and this was real. He could still feel a bit of a cold breeze.
Axel, for his part, was getting sick of waiting. He unzipped his own jeans, jerking Roxas's already-undone pants down – checker-patterned boxers, he should have figured – enough to give himself access. Both undergarments were tugged down as well and Axel curled a hand as well as he could around their pressed-together members. Each was steadily weeping half-clear fluid, slipping into his hand and easing the friction immensely.
To say Roxas's breathing had gone off-beat was such an understatement that it was probably illegal in some countries. His body seemed to have forgotten that after inhale came exhale and then it happened all over again. This was something he though his body should really always remember. He had to separate their lips for out of the (admittedly likely) danger of passing out if he continued.
Understandably, all of this did wonders for Axel's ego. He hadn't personally seen Roxas this messed up by anything since-... Since nothing. He wasn't thinking of anything. Forget it. A slight tremor passed through him. If he kept thinking about Roxas – who he was currently jacking off, he should mention – as a kid, he'd end up an accidental pedophile.
Roxas's hands served to be a pretty decent distraction at that moment. He assumed his arms hand circled around him while his mind had been elsewhere. Determined fingers were already sliding down the back of his half-removed briefs, groping him obviously.
'Whoa, hold up. No, we're not going in that direction tonight. I don't think so.' Well, he intended to say so, but was having trouble remembering how to speak. 'If anyone is having their ass pounded tonight, Rox, Buddy, it's gonna be you.'
Axel squeezed their aligned cocks, grinding slowly now, if only to offset his hand's own fast movement. Roxas's quest to get inside him was shortly put out of his mind. He could just keep stroking like that until he came... that would be okay. He honestly didn't care. There was all the time in the world to fuck his friend if he was getting cold feet. Don't think about cold.
... Unless he was trying to trick him into handing his own ass over. Of course Axel would think he automatically got the top position. Roxas couldn't take it tonight – he had to attend some meeting tomorrow morning, no way he could sit in those hard office chairs over an hour, if that was the case. Using his arousal to push him past the point of giving a damn would be just like Axel. He had this way of giving people what they half-want to twist them into giving him what he wanted, without even realising they'd been cheated. God, he could be just like Sora that way.
'Thank you, conscious, for comparing the guy I'm trying to fuck to my older brother.' As if Axel didn't remind him enough of a sibling. He was certainly felt more like family than his brothers or his parents did. He'd been so young when they met that he couldn't remember not having him there. Almost every brotherly experience he had growing up, including that very personal feeling of getting worldly advice from an older brother or sister, had been with Axel instead of Sora or Cloud. And he'd shared the kind of information so embarrassing that it should be exclusively for family to Axel first, and usually, only. That sort of unconditionally, have-to-love each other bond existed between them in a way.
Okay, he'd be the first to admit. In a lot of ways this was like trying to have sex with his brother.
Oh-fucking-well, right? He could overlook that. Axel was still sexy as hell. And still very had-his-hand-around-his-penis.
Though in a moment that wasn't quite true. He tried again to lock his lips around Axel's and found himself being pushed away.
The older of the two exhaled heavily. His hand pressed to Roxas's chest, keeping an arm's-length between them. He couldn't even look at him... "I can't keep going."
Stunned silence. Roxas didn't have the sense to ask why. It was answered for him in a second anyway. "Look, I just keep seeing you as that grade two kid who wet his pants once and came to me about it. You're fucking hot and I want-... But this is weird. I'm trying not to be, but it's weird."
For once, he understood exactly what was going through Axel's head. "No, I know. I was thinking about Sora."
"I think I'm insulted." Axel managed a grin. Whatever there was to thank that Roxas was cool about this, he thanked it.
"It was just... nevermind, actually. We can stop for now." Roxas shifted, pulling himself off. Huh. Suddenly there was more than enough room on the couch for two.
Things seemed to relax, despite the painful sexual frustration on both their parts. Axel retained some of his (so-called) composure. "Want to check each other out naked for kicks and try again later?"
"Yeah, sounds good." Well, trying again later was up for debate, based on the success of the last couple times they'd seriously intended to have sex.
Blood was slowly flowing back into Axel's body and sorting itself out to circulate properly. He really hadn't slept since yesterday. Since five o'clock yesterday evening, granted but he was used to crashing after a night out. He should probably... No. Roxas, naked. They really had to... had to do something. He had to know if this would really work. There had to be a way past thinking of him like the kid he knew years ago. Roxas, naked. He was having trouble keeping his eyes open, especially both in synchronization with each other. Sex must work better than caffeine. His thoughts weren't...weren't... you know... thinking... in order. He wasn't making sense. If he could just rest his eyes for a second.
Roxas, naked.
That ass was his. Totally.
God, he'd used the word 'totally' again.
"Uh. Axel?" The redhead's eyes had closed, and his head drifted back against the couch. "Axel, are you falling asleep?"
"Mnuhh."
What a baby. Roxas had been up as long as he had – longer, actually, as he'd been up at eight for work yesterday morning. Not to mention he'd been hauling boxes all day. If anyone had the right to be passing out without warning right now...
Actually, this could turn out hilariously well. Axel's mouth had fallen open slightly, and his legs were still an awkward tangle within half-removed jeans and briefs. His softening length had not yet been covered up. He seemed utterly unconscious within a few seconds. Roxas wondered if they had a permanent marker anywhere around the apartment.
It didn't matter that he'd taken up the couch. If he was hurt in the morning well... Roxas would already be gone and not have to deal with his whining. It was his fault, anyway. More importantly, Roxas wasn't going to go to the effort of dragging the dead weight back to his own bed. He could sleep there.
Roxas... could sleep there too, if he wanted. He could stay with Axel. A little dignifying of the two of them and there would be space for him on the couch. If he felt like it, he could sleep next to Axel. There would be nothing out of the ordinary about that. They'd shared a bed easily hundreds of times before. Besides, it was starting to get freezing in here without his clothes, and his uncanny body heat was often warmer than a few layers of blankets.
He pulled his own pants and boxers back into place, shoving the unconscious body hard to one side. It barely mumbled. He was really out, wasn't he? Awkwardly, his body settled into the space he'd made for himself.
He could sleep here, if he wanted to.
Roxas's feet barely made a whisper against the floor. He crossed the small expanse of their apartment, turning off the last light before leaving for his own bed. His door shut behind him with a light click.
Thank you, boys and girls, if you stuck through the first chapter of this absurd piece of writing. I appreciate it, I really do. I can't predict for you when the next two chapters will come out. I don't expect to be doing any more writing before school ends. You'll just have to have faith in me. I realise faith is hard to find when it's been about nine months since I've shown my sorry face. I'm going to have a whole list of excuses for my absence with the next chapter of Virus or NC, whichever comes first.
Reviews for more characters than just Axel or Roxas appearing next chapter? Reviews for pity? Reviews for sexual favours?