Chapter 4: Paige's POV
About a week after Spencer got back from his case, he surprised me one night by suggesting we do something...social.
"A birthday party?" I asked, delighted. "For who?"
"For Marcus Duncan," he replied. "The BAU rescued his daughter a few years ago, and he's stayed a friend of the unit. He's invited all of us. It will be a pretty fancy party. He's one of the richest men in the city, and I'm pretty sure he invites everyone he can think of across the country." I wanted to jump up and down and clap my hands in delight.
In the over two months that Spencer and I had been together we barely left the house. Don't get me wrong, I was very okay with having almost unlimited access to a bedroom with him in it, but I was starting to wonder if he ever left the house to do anything other than errands. I was happy that I was finally going to get the chance to show him off in the city.
"What should I wear?" I asked. Spencer shrugged.
"I'm wearing a suit," he said. "I have no idea what women should wear."
"I'll talk to JJ," I said. "She'll know. When is it?"
"The party? Oh, its tonight."
"Tonight?" My heart almost stopped. "Are you kidding? That gives me almost no time to prepare!"
"Prepare?" he asked, confused. I slapped a hand to my forehead.
"Can I use your phone to get JJ's number?" I asked. He handed it to me and I dialed.
She and I talked for a while about the party. She was excited because she found someone to watch Henry so she and Will could go together. She told me that it was formal dress, and gave me a general idea of just how fancy this party was going to be. I liked JJ. She was very nice to me and to Spencer. The only complaint I had was that whenever she saw me she tended to give me the 'Don't you dare hurt him' look.
We were about to hang up after talking for almost fifteen minutes, when JJ stopped me.
"So did Spence tell you about the job opening?" she asked. I looked over at Spencer, who was doing paperwork at the kitchen table, out of hearing range.
"Um, no," I said. "What job opening?"
"Well I'm looking for someone to deal with the press while I deal with choosing the cases. It would make it so I could be home for Henry more often and both jobs can be done with more efficiency. Spencer mentioned you were looking for a job, and Morgan suggested you'd be a good candidate since you currently work for the press." I was speechless.
"You're right," I said. "It sounds perfect...like way beyond perfect but..." I looked over at Spencer. What would he say?
"I have to tell you," said JJ, "Spence was pretty against it. He said that you weren't over the attack yet and that maybe the job would bring back your nightmares..." My skin went cold.
"He...he told you guys about my nightmares?" I asked. That was personal.
"Yeah. He also said that it was too dangerous and he didn't want you around...well...the people we have to be around."
"I see," I said, not really able to see. Why hadn't he told me about the job? Why had he told the whole unit about my nightmares?
"Okay, well, think about the job offer and I'll see you at the party," said JJ. I couldn't even exchange pleasantries.
"See ya," I said like an automaton, and hung up. My emotions were battling each other like middle eastern countries. I was very angry with Spencer, but I wondered if he just didn't know better. He was used to sharing everything with his team, maybe he just didn't realize that I didn't want to do the same.
However the sting of hearing about the job from JJ and not Spencer, the embarrassment of the entire unit knowing about my nightmares and the stress about the party overwhelmed me. I walked quickly into the kitchen and grabbed my shoulder bag before heading for the door.
"Hey," said Spencer, getting up from his seat at the kitchen table. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going home," I said snappily. "I need to get ready." He caught my wrist as I reached the door and spun me around to face him. His eyes searched my face like he was looking for clues.
"Something's wrong," he said softly. "Tell me," he implored. His eyes were big as he looked at me. I sighed.
"I- I can't talk about it right now," I said, avoiding his gaze. "I really do need to go home and get ready. I'll meet you at the party?" He let go of my wrist and nodded, silent. I hated making him suffer, like I knew he would, wondering what he'd done to upset me. I just couldn't face his wide eyes right now.
I took a cab home. I showered and blow dried my hair straight. I got dressed in a nice black dress and heels. I wore a little black shrug to cover the scars on my shoulders and back. Normally the process of getting dressed up made me happy and confident. This time I felt numb as I did my makeup in the mirror. I was hurt and Spencer was the cause. This had never happened before. What should I do?
Eventually I was ready. I was already fifteen minutes late to the party, but I figured it was better to be fashionably late than on time. I hailed a cab and it took me there. I was feeling better as I walked up the stairs to the big mansion. Maybe if we just talked about it, things would be okay. I was overreacting. I loved Spencer. I took a deep breath and smiled as I reached the door. I almost laughed. There was a hefty man with a clipboard at the entrance.
"Name?" he asked.
"Paige Stewart," I replied. "I'm here with Dr. Spencer Reid." He ran a sausage-like finger down the paper.
"Go ahead in," he said. "Dr. Reid let us know to expect you." I was touched by his thoughtfulness. I walked in the door and was surprised by the sheer amount of people in the very large room. It was like something out of a movie, complete with high ceilings and chandeliers. The people mingling around me all looked like they belonged here. I stuck out like a woman in a gay bar. I made my way through the room. It took some time because it was so crowded. I scanned the crowd for a familiar face and saw none.
Not knowing what else to do, I walked into the next room. There was music and dancing along with food and drink. I looked around and spotted Morgan and Garcia chatting together on the far side of the room. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I knew them. I walked around the dance floor and went up to them.
"Hey Paige," said Garcia happily. "This is some party huh?" I looked around at the dancers and the waiters in tuxedos handing out champagne like candy on Halloween.
"Sure is," I agreed.
"Where's Reid?" she asked, looking over my shoulder.
"He's here somewhere," I said. "I don't know where."
"Didn't you guys come together?" asked Derek, leaning nonchalantly against the wall. He looked very good in a tight black suit with no tie.
"I told him I'd meet him here," I said. "He didn't tell me about the party until a couple hours ago. I had to go to my place and get ready." They both chuckled.
"Sounds like Reid," said Derek. "How have you been?" he asked me. The three of us chatted casually for a while. I asked Garcia how her relationship with Steve was going, and Derek told me that he'd read my articles in the newspaper. Garcia was regaling me with a story about how she'd almost gotten Prince William's phone number when I spotted Spencer across the room.
I was about to excuse myself and go over to him, when a beautiful blonde followed him in. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him, full on the mouth. I stood watching, my mouth hanging open in shock.
Derek and Garcia followed my gaze. Garcia gasped out loud.
"Is that?" she asked.
"It's Lila," said Derek, sounding shocked. "What is she doing here?" I said nothing and watched as after a very very long moment, Spencer gently pushed her away. He said something and they both laughed. I didn't feel very much like laughing.
"Who is she?" I finally managed. Derek put a hand on my shoulder. I wasn't sure if it was to comfort me or restrain me.
"She's an actress that Reid had a relationship with a couple years back," said Derek. "She was a victim in a stalker case and he saved her." My chest tightened. He saved her too?
"She's..." I swallowed, my mouth dry. "She's beautiful." Derek moved around me so that he was facing me.
"You're beautiful," he said soothingly, looking into my eyes. I looked away after a moment. I looked around him at Spencer, who was still talking to the blonde. She leaned forward, playing with a lock of his hair. Her body was practically touching his. Spencer did nothing to move away. I bit my bottom lip.
"She's just an old friend," said Derek. "Don't worry about it." A waiter walked by and offered us drinks. I took two and downed them in quick succession. "Whoa, slow down," said Derek. "What are you trying to do get drunk so you can go over there and confront her?" I shook my head, still dizzy from the sudden rush of alcohol.
"No," I said. "I'm trying to not go over there." I took a deep breath. "I need some air," I said. Derek gently took my hand and steered me outside. We brushed by the blonde and Spencer on the way out of the room. I tried not to look, but I don't think Spencer even noticed us go by. Finally we made it outside. I leaned against the house, breathing slowly.
"Are you okay?" asked Derek, sounding concerned.
"I'm fine," I said. "I'm sorry I pulled you away from the party." Derek waved that away.
"It was too stuffy anyway," he said, showing a small smile. I tried to smile back.
"I talked to JJ today," I said. He looked at me, confused. "She offered me a job. She told me you recommended me." He sighed and ran a hand over his shaved head.
"Yeah, I did," he said. "But your boyfriend didn't think it was a good idea." I nodded.
"She told me that too. She also said...that Spencer told you...that I..."
"That you have nightmares," he finished for me. I nodded. "That's nothing to be ashamed of," he said. "What you went through..." I interrupted.
"I'm not ashamed," I said. "I just didn't want the whole BAU to know about it. It was...you know...personal." Derek looked at his shoes. He was about to say something, when the door opened and the blonde ex-girlfriend walked out. She stopped and lit a cigarette. I took a step toward her and Derek grabbed my wrist.
"Don't go over there," he said. "I don't want to have to arrest you." I shrugged off his hand.
"I just want to talk to her," I said. "And you can't arrest me if you don't see anything," I reminded him.
"Maybe you should use this opportunity to talk to Reid," he suggested. I thought about it. It was a good idea. However the sight of that blonde made my blood boil.
"Good idea," I said calmly. "Do you think you could find him for me?" He looked at me for a long moment, assessing me. He wasn't stupid, so he knew that as soon as he walked away I was going to confront her...but he was also on my side. He sighed, gave me a look that said, I hope you know what you're doing and went back inside. I took a deep breath, and walked up to her.
"Hi," I said. I was surprised at my calmness.
"Um, hi," she said, taking a drag on her cigarette.
"I'm Paige," I said, trying to be friendly. Maybe this would be easy. "I'm Spencer Reid's girlfriend." She started to laugh, and then she saw my face.
"Really?" she asked. I nodded.
"We're in love," I told her. "So I know you'll do the right thing and leave him alone." She smiled, and for a moment I thought she was going to follow my advice. Then she ruined it.
"You may be in love," she said. "But we've been sleeping together on and off for two years. I'm not gonna just walk away."
"Well I guess we'll just have to see who he goes home with then," I said. She shrugged.
"Yeah I guess we will." I turned around and started to walk back into the party. The little shrug I was wearing over my dress to hide the scars on my back was falling out of place, so I pulled it straight. I heard a giggle behind me, so I looked over my shoulder. Lila, or whatever her name was, watching me and laughing.
"Do you have something you want to say?" I asked. She giggled some more.
"I'm just wondering if Spencer has seen under your clothes," she said between giggles. "Because you look like a jigsaw puzzle...or Frankenstein or something." At that moment something snapped inside me. That bitch was gonna eat her words. I stepped out of my heels, put down my purse and started taking out my earrings.
"Ooh," said Lila. "You're taking out your earrings, I'm so scared." I said nothing, just gently placed my earrings in one of my shoes and walked back so I was standing in front of her. She looked down at me. She was at least four inches taller than me. I didn't care. She dropped her cigarette and rubbed it out with her shoe.
"I was given these scars by a serial killer," I informed her. "I've lived through things you can't even imagine. I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid of anything. So just take back what you said about my scars, go home, stay away from Spencer, and we won't have a problem." She crossed her arms and tilted her head, looking at me.
"I don't think so," she said.
"Your choice," I said. I reached up and grabbed her long blonde hair pulling her head down and driving my knee into the soft part of her stomach. She gasped, the air completely knocked out of her. "That's for kissing Spencer," I said. I turned my body, my knee still wedged up in her stomach and threw her down by her hair onto the ground. She hit the ground with a satisfying thud.
"And this," I said, punching her hard in the right eye, "is for making fun of my scars. And this," I continued, punching her other eye, "is for not taking it back." I stood up straight, breathing heavily from adrenaline. Lila started to cry, rolling on the ground. I wanted to feel pity for her, and yet I didn't. I turned to get my shoes, and saw Derek and Spencer standing in the doorway, their mouths hanging open.
I put my earrings back on, stepped back into my heels and swept a hand through my hair, putting it back into place. I straightened my dress, picked up my purse and walked away.
"Wait," called Spencer. He ran and caught up with me. "Where are you going?"
"Home," I said. "Unless you're going to arrest me." He sighed.
"I'm not going to arrest you Paige," he said exasperatedly. "I just want to talk to you."
"Actions speak louder than words," I said. "I saw you with Lila. I don't know what else you have to say."
"If I could just explain," he said. I shook my head.
"Can you explain about the job offer you forgot to tell me about or the fact that you told the whole unit that I have nightmares sometimes? Because I'm interested about that as well." He took a step back and stuttered, his face confused. He was speechless, and I was impatient. "I didn't think so," I said and turned to walk away.
"Paige," he said, his voice laced with pain. "Please hear me out."
"I need a ride home," I said. Derek took out his keys.
"I'll drive you," he said.
"I'll call a cab," I said. "If I could borrow your phone?"
"Why don't I drive you and we can talk about this?" asked Spencer. Tears filled my eyes at the pain in his voice. He pulled me into his arms. "Please, Paige," he begged. "Let's go home." My heart ached. I opened my mouth to tell him yes, to forgive him, to forget the whole thing. I couldn't help it. He was just so adorable, and I couldn't stand hurting him.
Just then, Lila stood up, wiping the blood from her nose that I didn't realize I'd caused.
"Spencer," she said, whimpering. "I think I need a hospital." Spencer's arms dropped, he turned away from me.
"Are you okay?" he asked her. She started sobbing theatrically.
"It hurts," she whined. "Something might be broken." He took a step towards her. I felt like I'd been slapped in the face. All my forgiveness evaporated like it had never been. The fact that he turned his back on me right now made me want to scream in anger and frustration. Derek and I made eye contact, and he walked over to his car. He held the door open. I gave in, and walked over to Derek's Aston Martin. Spencer, who was currently helping Lila stand, saw me leaving and tried to call after me, but I was beyond listening.
I didn't say a word the whole ride back to my apartment. I couldn't believe it had only been a couple hours since I'd left to go to the party. It felt like lifetimes had passed. Derek pulled up to the curb by my apartment building and cut the engine.
"You know," he said. "Normally I have to turn on pay-per-view to watch two girls fight like that." I turned and looked at him, shocked. "I guess what I'm trying to say is...That was hot." I laughed and buried my face in my hands.
"I shouldn't have done it," I said into my hands.
"Where did you learn to fight like that?" he asked.
"My older brother taught me," I said. "He got in a lot of fights as a teenager." Derek nodded, but I could tell that wasn't really what was on his mind. He sighed.
"What are you gonna do?" he asked. I buried my hands in my hair.
"I don't know," I said honestly. He reached over and patted my knee.
"If you need anything...a shoulder to cry on, recreational sex, takeout...don't hesitate to call me." I rolled my eyes.
"Thanks Derek," I said. "I'll keep that in mind." I got out of the car and walked up the steps to my apartment. I unlocked the door, closed and locked it behind me. I sank to the floor, my back pressed against the door, and started to cry. I only indulged in tears for a few minutes before I made myself, get up and dry my tears. I picked up the phone.
"Hello, Dulles National Airport? Yes I need a one-way ticket to Portland, Maine."