Saturday the 4th of November, 1980. 6:30 PM. California, Chotada Falls, Leon Czolgosz Street, Duncan's Family's House.
"Hello, I'm Lianne Forget and we are moments away from learning who will be the next President of the United States." The reporter on TV announced.
Duncan and his parents were sitting on the couch in their living room, staring fixatedly at the television set, waiting for the announcement to be made. Duncan's father was waiting for it because of his genuine semi-interest in politics, Duncan's mother because of her devotion and support for everything her husband did and Duncan because he was waiting for the announcement to be made so he could leave.
"Do I really have to wait until they announce who the fucking president is?" Duncan groaned for the millionth time.
"Duncan, one of those men will be President of our country." Duncan's father said sternly. "You might not care for politics but it's important."
"Sure." Duncan groaned.
"You should show more respect. President Reagan is from this state and we should be proud that such a fine politician is from here." Duncan's father boasted.
"He's not president yet." Duncan commented.
"But he will be…there's no chance Carter is winning again." His father said. "He doesn't have the balls to run this country."
"Whatever." Duncan groaned again before collapsing face first into a pillow out of frustration.
Back in the TV:
"Hello, I'm Richard Burns and I am here in Washington D.C. where in less than a minute we will learn who our Nation's new President is." Reporter Richard Burns said.
Burns was standing in front of the National Congress building, with a gigantic crowd behind him, a crowd which was also waiting for the announcement of new president.
A man emerged from the entrance of Congress and walked up to a podium on the top of the Congress stairs. He paused and then spoke into the microphone.
"…And now ladies and gentlemen, the announcement you've all been waiting for…" The man said.
The crowd leaned in anxiously.
"The new president of the United States of America is…
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"…Jimmy Carter."
"Huh?" The crowd said, collectively perplexed.
"PSYCHE!" The man yelled. "Nah, it's Ronald Reagan."
Then the crowd burst into heavy cheering upon hearing the real answer.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Ronald Reagan is the new U.S. President!" Richard Burns yelled. "I'm so happy I'm gonna go snort a whole shitload of coke. Anyone who wants to join me, it's just $20 a person."
Then a message came to Richard through his earpiece.
"I just what of drugs on live TV?" He asked.
Suddenly four FBI agents leaped on top of Richard and began to beat him up severely.
"Yes!" Duncan's father yelled happily. "See Duncan, I told you that proper and respectable people always triumph. Duncan?"
Duncan's father turned to where Duncan had previously been sitting and saw his son was no longer there. Then he noticed the house's front door was open.
"Aww, damn it!"
Monday the 6th of November, 1980. Midday. A hallway in Crist Almeth High School.
"Remember to vote in the school's presidential election next Friday!" Courtney announced. "…And don't make a wrong choice; vote for Gary Oliver Peterson. The Young Republicans want your vote!"
"The Young Republicans? Seriously Courtney?" Gwen asked as she walked past her friend.
"Yes." Courtney answered. "Why not? We represent the moral heart of American society."
"Bullshit." Gwen said. "Republicans are really moral. Right."
"Are you saying we aren't?"
"Eisenhower, Nixon and Ford." Gwen answered simply.
"They don't count." Courtney said. "They were corrupted. Reagan on the other hand is great. He'll bring a young, fresh, new era for the GOP."
"Reagan will bring in something young?" Gwen said, holding in laughter.
"I do not have to sit here and take this irrational mockery of the greatest politician in this country." Courtney said.
"Sure, he's the greatest politician." Gwen replied. "Because you need to be deceitful, manipulative bastard to be a politician; so you he is the greatest politician."
"What do you know about politics anyway?" Courtney asked in rhetoric condescendence.
"I know quite a lot about politics!" Gwen declared.
"I don't see you getting involved." Courtney said in a sing-song voice.
"Fine! I'm gonna sign up with the Young Democrats right now!" Gwen declared. "…And we're going to kick your prissy Young Republican asses in next week's election!"
"The school's Young Democrats? There somehow even more disorganized than the real Democrats. They couldn't win even if they ran unopposed." Courtney said.
"We'll show you!"
"I'd love to see you try."
Later that afternoon…4 PM. Crist Almeth High School Young Democrats headquarters (a.k.a. Second Floor Math Class).
"OK, it doesn't matter that you haven't won a single school election in a decade and a half, or that you don't have an organized structure or that you haven't had a party president in years." Gwen said. "…Because I am going to handle organization now."
"Really?" One of the guys asked.
The school's Young Democrats club was formed by twenty eager young politicians who didn't know shit about organizing a party. They knew their ideologies but they couldn't even put together a pile of rubble.
"Yes." Gwen said. "Now, the election is in two weeks. Every year for nearly the past two decades the Young Douchebags have won…"
"I think they're called the Young Republicans." One of the guys said.
"I'm insulting them."
"I don't think you should do that…"
"I think you should grow a pair." Gwen retorted, making the rest of the Young Dems laugh.
Gwen cleared her throat to attract attention.
"That's called assertiveness." Gwen said. "…And it's something you guys will have to learn about. First order of business. Who's your candidate?"
One of the guys in the back raised his hand. He was a tall, muscular, black guy who wore a white beanie and an olive shirt with an orange "D" on it along with some cargo shorts and some white sneakers.
"It's me." The guy said in a light Jamaican accent. "I'm DJ."
"Great." Gwen said. "Now, why did we pick him?"
"Huh?"
"If you picked him to be candidate it must be for a reason. We have to know that reason and highlight the good aspects of it in our campaign." Gwen said.
"Oh…we didn't pick him." Another guy said. "We drew straws and he got the shortest one."
"So the nomination went to the guy who got lucky?"
"Lucky? No! We were drawing to see who was the poor sap unlucky enough to get nominated." The same guy said. "Whoever gets nominated from our party always loses and gets deeply humiliated so nobody wants to do that."
Gwen facepalmed herself.
"We have a lot of work to do." Gwen moaned. "OK. First political lesson…Propaganda."
The next day. Tuesday the 7th of November. Midday. Another Hallway in Crist Almeth High School.
"OK, Young Democrats." Gwen said. "I will now teach you a lesson number one of propaganda."
Gwen had gathered DJ and three other members of the YD to prepare for the campaign.
"Lesson number one: Using people to get the word out." Gwen said. "In most cases you'd get a spin doctor, a guy who will spread around your ideas in a distorted way that makes you look like the sole good guy. However, in high school that doesn't work because people have the attention span of mosquitoes."
"Then how are we gonna use people here?" DJ asked.
"Simple." Gwen said. "With two things: Babes & Bullshit."
"Huh?"
"Let me show you." Gwen said. "Hey Gay Noah!"
A scrawny, short kid of sixteen with an Indian complexion and an everlasting scowl approached the group.
"For the last time, stop calling me that!" Noah grunted.
"But it's true." Gwen said.
"Still wrong." Noah groaned.
"So, since everybody know you're gay you can do anything with any girl and they won't mind." Gwen said.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Interesting."
"Since you can do that, I'd like to ask you for a favor." Gwen said.
"OK."
"I want you to slap this sticker onto Lindsay Gauthier's butt." Gwen explained.
Gwen pulled out a sticker that had the words "Vote for the Young Democrats. We'll allow more revealing clothing in school." printed across it.
"OK, I'll do it." Noah said.
The scrawny kid took the sticker and walked up to Lindsay Gauthier, who was at her locker nearby. Lindsay was broadly considered the hottest girl in the school because of her curvy figure, pretty face and long blonde hair.
Noah approached her, pulled the holder off the sticker and then slapped it onto Lindsay's ass.
"Hey!" The blonde yelled.
She turned around, ready to slap however did that, but then saw it was Noah.
"Oh, hi Gay Noah." She said smiling.
"Hi." Noah said, grunting at the way she addressed him. "Hey, since I'm gay, do you mind going to my house on Friday and posing for some nude pictures so I can sell them as pornography to other students?"
"OK, but only cause you're gay." Lindsay replied.
"Interesting." Noah pondered.
The scrawny kid saw Bridgette approaching and walked over to her.
"Hello Bridgette." He said.
"Oh, hi Gay Noah."
Noah groaned.
"Listen, do you mind going to my house on Friday to pose for some pictures of a pornographic nature so I can sell them to other men?" He asked.
"OK, but only cause you're gay." Bridgette said.
"I think I may have just struck a gold mine." Noah muttered to himself as he walked away.
"OK guys, now we'll move on to lesson number two." Gwen said. "Slander."
15 minutes later. Young Democrats HQ.
"OK, slander is one of the most important parts of politics." Gwen said. "If you can't highlight good things about yourself, highlight bad things about your enemies. The Young Republicans and the real Republicans do this all the time. It's what half their advertising budget goes into."
"So how will we slander our enemies?" A guy asked.
"Easy. The best thing you can do is turn your enemy's good qualities into bad ones." Gwen said. "Tell me something good about Gary Oliver Peterson."
"He's good-looking."
"So, we say he's vain." Gwen replied.
"Or gay."
"Oh. Nice." The Democrats agreed.
"Something else." Gwen said.
"He gets a lot of girls." Somebody suggested.
"So we say he's a man-whore." Gwen answered.
"Or a rapist."
"He's smart." Somebody else said.
"So we say he's a nerd." Gwen added.
"Or a Jew."
"OK, who keeps saying that crap?" Gwen asked.
The Young Democrats turned to the back of the room from where the sound had come from and saw two guys. A small, squirmy one with a guilty look and a tall, muscular one who was pretty calm.
"He did. He said that." Said the small one. "Get him!"
The Young Democrats immediately pounced on the tall guy and began to beat him up before throwing him outside their HQ.
"OK, lesson number three is next." Gwen said. "Spreading the fake word of how great we are from mouth to mouth."
Monday the 13th of November, 1980. Midday. Crist Almeth High School Cafeteria.
"Hello Courtney."
"Hello Gwen."
Duncan, Geoff and Bridgette had been sitting in their usual table at the school cafeteria when the two other girls arrived with their lunches.
"Geoff, didn't you have that new skateboard you wanted to show me?" Duncan said, dropping a hint.
"No." Geoff replied puzzled.
"Didn't you have that other thing you wanted to show me so that we can get out of here so we don't have to stand the feud between those two?" Duncan said, not really being subtle about it anymore.
"Oh. Sure."
Geoff and Duncan immediately got up and charged out of the cafeteria, leaving behind their lunches.
"Yeah and I had to do…something…Bye!" Bridgette exclaimed before leaving as well.
"How have you been doing, Gwen?" Courtney asked with the most bitter, sardonic tone one could imagine.
"Fine. Considering that I straightened up the Young Democrats and we've been getting a lot of support." Gwen said, also with sardonic intentions clear.
"Please! Have you seen your candidate?" Courtney laughed. "That softie doesn't have what it takes to run this school."
"Oh, and Preppy McRichkid does?"
"At least my candidate knows about politics!"
"At least mine isn't a stuck up jerk!"
"At least mine isn't a pussy!"
A nearby kid saw what was going on and charged over to their table.
"Catfight!" He yelled.
"What?" Courtney and Gwen exclaimed in unison. "We're not going to have a catfight!"
The kid scowled angrily and then reached into his pants. He pulled out a gun and aimed it at the girls.
"I said…catfight."
Gwen and Courtney looked at each other and then at the guy in doubt, but they did nothing for a moment.
"Ah, fuck it." Gwen said.
The goth girl leaped on top of Courtney and began to fight her while a crowd formed around the raging catfight,
Friday the 17th of November, 1980. 2:30 PM. Crist Almeth High School Auditorium.
"Sehr gut, kinder." Principal Abe Rolf Hilter said over the microphone. "Willkommen in der school president announcement ceremony."
In the audience, Courtney and Gwen looked at each other menacingly while they patted in the back their respective candidates; Gary Oliver Peterson and DJ.
"After a lange vote count, I have managed to come up with ze vinner." Principal Hilter said. "And ze vinner is…"
"Excuse me." A kid in the audience interrupted.
"Vat?" The principal asked.
"What's a 'vinner'?" The kid asked.
The principal sighed.
"Is zis going to lead to a long argument vere I constantly point out that 'vinner' is ze vay I pronounce ze English vord vinner?" The Principal asked.
"What?"
"Vill somebody please punch zat student in ze face so ve can go on?"
The Young Republican candidate, Gary Oliver Peterson proceeded to punch the singled out kid in the face, knocking him out cold.
"Thank you, Mr. Peterson." Principal Hilter said. "Now, ze vinner is…"
Principal Hilter opened the small envelope he had in his hands and read out the written name.
"Noah Hayden!" Principal Hilter called out.
"What?" A whole lot of the audience cried out.
Noah walked up to the stage and stepped in front of the microphone. He cleared his throat before speaking.
"Now, this might come as a big shock to a lot of you." Noah said. "But to most of the people in this school it won't."
"How did he win?" Courtney yelled.
"It's an interesting story, Courtney." Noah said. "Last week I realized that since I'm gay, women will let me take pictures of them for motives of a pornographic nature. After discovering this I proceeded to obtain nude pictures of most girls in this school and sold them as cheap pornography to virtually all straight guys in this school."
Courtney attempted to interrupt but Noah went on.
"Due to this, many of them agreed to vote for me when I decided to run for a school president as an independent candidate." Noah announced. "You might wonder why I did this. Simple. I did it to prove to people two things. First off, that this is a high school presidential election and that it has virtually no impact on anything whatsoever. Second, that democracy doesn't really work because the voters can easily be swayed by trivial things."
Gwen and Courtney tried to interrupt but found that they couldn't argue against him since he'd made a very solid point.
"Therefore, since democracy doesn't work I intend to govern like a sort of fascist dictator." Noah explained. "I even got myself a secret police by promising a lot of guys that I would give them free pictures of naked girls from this school if they worked for me."
Suddenly, twelve guys in military uniforms that resembled those of SS officers marched up to the stage and lined up horizontally behind Noah.
"Does anybody have any objections to this?" Noah asked.
Several people raised their hands.
"Very well." Noah replied. "Boys, kick their asses."
The twelve secret police students marched off the stage and began to beat up those who had raised their hands. Several students attempted to stop the secret police guys, but several other secret police guys entered the auditorium and began to crack down on them too.
"He can't do this!" Courtney yelled, indignant.
"I beg to differ!" Principal Hilter exclaimed. "Zis is awesome! I haven't been zis amused since Kristallnacht!"
The situation spiraled a bit out of control and in approximately, a huge riot broke out in the school. Desks, lockers and pretty much everything was either smashed, flipped over or set on fire. Several people were beaten up and the entire things became a huge disaster. However, nobody was expelled, since the entire community assumed that the whole thing was a commie plot and that it was all the Russians' fault.
"Jesus Christ!" Gwen yelled as she took refuge under the food bar at the cafeteria.
"Hey." Courtney said.
Gwen turned to face her friend, who was also hiding there as well.
"Are you OK?" Courtney asked.
"Yeah. You?"
"I'm OK." The brunette replied.
They remained in silence before they both spoke in unison.
"I'm sorry."
"I let things get out of hand." Gwen said.
"I was the one who pushed you to competition." Courtney apologized. "It was my fault."
"How about we say we're both guilty and leave it at that." Gwen said.
"Good enough for me." Courtney said. "Want to try and find a way out of this hellhole?"
"Sure."
At that point a flaming roll of toilet paper landed next to the girls, briefly startling them before regaining their cool.
"Or we can wait a bit under here." Gwen said.
"That sounds good."