He said, "You'll sentence me to six years in prison." If it was true, then the judge would have to make it false by sentencing him to four years. If it was false, then he would have to give him six years, which would make it true. Rather than contradict his own word, the judge set the man free
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I am never quite what I appear to be. Straight-forward I seem, but it's only skin deep, for mystery most often lies beneath my simple speech. Sharpen your wits, open your eyes, look beyond my exteriors, read me backwards, forwards, upside down. Think critically and answer the question...what am I?
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Alice glared curiously out the murky window, washing away the grime with the black tunic's sleeve. Watching as the milky glow coming from the two moons cascaded across the small village made of about 15 houses. The entire village was lit orange with burning candles that hung from decorative lanterns, women dressed much like Duchess – Alice hadn't seen any men as of yet- performed amazing gymnastics and acrobatics without any signs of tiring. They've been at it since I've arrived. And that was hours ago.
Tugging softly at the edge of the tunic, Alice let out a sigh. The fabric was comfortable compared to the water logged poncho and jeans she had been wearing when she arrived, but like all new clothing it still didn't feel right. The smell they gave off was foreign, telling her that she didn't own them, and it just didn't seem right to wear the clothes of someone she'd just met. Far too cynical for your own good Alice. She scolded herself. You should see an act of kindness when it hits you.
The pacing from behind didn't help calm her nerves either, the footsteps repeating in sets of four, like an old fashioned dance.
One, two, three, four. Stop, turn. One, two three, four. Stop and turn.
"Having fun?" Alice asked sardonically from her seat at the window. Still pacing Hatter looked to Alice and smiled politely.
"A ball." He replied with an outlandish bow. Alice chuckled, turning back to the window as she shook her head. At least I'm not the only one panicking.
Hatter knew he wasn't helping her calm, but he also knew Duchess: and what happened when you got into the middle on an argument between Duchess and the Queen of Hearts. It also didn't help his nerves when he remembered the last time he saw Duchess and her negative attitude toward him as well.
"You pull one prank and it's the end of the world to her." He muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Alice asked, only hearing the end of his inner conversation.
"Nothing! Nothing!" he replied, standing at attention and hand on the back of his head. "Just talking to myself again." Yeah Hatter, why don't you just go ahead and start performing a musical about it. She'll never notice then.
"Shut up." This time Alice didn't respond, although he wasn't sure whether she didn't hear him or just didn't want to hear.
"Hatter!" Alice stood as Duchess appeared, the hardwood flooring surprisingly warm on her bare feet. Hatter, however, pretty much jumped out of his skin, vaulting behind Alice, an automatic reaction from being a coward for such a long time. After giving Hatter a disappointed look, Alice looked to Duchess. She couldn't see her eyes from under the dark circular glass - like something Ozzy Osborne would wear only pure black and coke bottle thick – but she'd hazard a guess that a dark glare was focused on Hatter who had finally composed himself yet still seemed small compared to the strength that emanated from woman.
"Ah! Duchess!" he exclaimed, clasping his hand together and smiling politely. "How nice for you to join us." Stepping further into the room – in ridiculously high heeled boots - Duchess returned the mocking grin with her own, her voice calm and collected.
"Your idea of humour never ceases to amaze me Hatter." Holding out his hands with a flourish, Hatter's grin stayed on his face yet didn't reach his eyes.
"Glad to know you at least have taste in humour." Hatter replied. Duchess, gave a patronising chuckled.
"On the contrary. I'm just amazed I haven't been hired to kill you yet." Keeping her eyes on Hatter she held out the tray she had been carrying , holding a single glass of hot pink liquid, to Alice.
"Drink this." She said as she continued her staring match with Hatter. Alice, however, had watched enough crime drama's to know that drinking from a glass that you hadn't fill yourself in a strange house, was never a good idea.
"It will help." Duchess replied to her unspoken worry, eyes now faintly visible under the dark glass and now staring at her steadily. Talk about a lioness waiting to pounce. Alice thought. Giving the glass another cautious look Alice lifted it from the tray.
"Help with what?" she asked as she watched the liquid swirl at the disruption.
"It. Will. Help." Realising that she wasn't going to get a meaningful answer Alice took a sip. This entire 'adventure' would be much easier if the people here didn't get offended so easil- Stopping her thought process Alice began coughing violently, the liquid she'd just ingested kick starting her gag reflex as it gave her throat third degree burns.
"What on earth..."
"It may hurt, but you'll be dead by the morning if you don't drink every last drop." Duchess warned, every word enunciated perfectly. "I need to speak with you," Duchess turned to Hatter who went to reply before she was finished.
"Privately." And with that she left, her heals making no noise against the wooden floor. Strange. Alice thought. Letting out another disgusted cough Alice took a large gulp as Hatter began mimicking Duchess on his way out.
"I need to speak with you pri-vate-ly." His voice octaves higher than usual making meaningless hand motions. Scuffing his feet against the ground, and shoulders slumped Hatter followed Duchess out the door, shutting it behind him. Wonder what it's about.
Frowning softly, a habit she had developed when confused or curious, Alice took her place back on the chair by the window.
"Curiouser and Curiouser." She mumbled unconsciously, pinching the bridge of her nose before taking another gulp.
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"They've been gone for awfully long time Dormouse." Alice said, more to herself than Dormouse who was as usual fast asleep. Talking to yourself again, eh Alice?
"Clocks slay time..." Dormouse muttered under his breath, in between snores as he snuggled into his makeshift bed of Hatter's discarded hat that he'd dropped after cowering behind Alice. "Time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life..."Alice paused for a couple of minutes, wondering if he was going to continue, but he never did.
Hatter was right, he rarely does make sense.
The glass that contained the horrid liquid lay empty on the window sill, only the faint burning sensation down the back of her throat reminding her that it existed. Performers had trained and left, realising it was getting to late to practise. Her nails now bitten to extinction, fingers twitching as she fiddled with the tunic's hem, Alice began to worry about the secret conversation. What on earth would take this long to talk about? Maybe something happened? Alice suddenly clenched the hem of the tunic, Hatter now adding to her list of worries. Duchess seemed like she could look after herself. And seriously hurt Hatter if need be. He does have a bad habit of saying stupid things at stupid times. And Duchess didn't seem exactly happy to see him.
"I wonder what she wanted to talk to him about." She said shakily, trying to comfort herself.
"Off with your head." Alice turned to Dormouse who had continued with his snoring.
"Dormouse?"
"What are you still doing awake Alice?" Hatter stood in the doorway, his black hair stuck up in every direction and looking like death, Duchess nowhere in sight.
"Waiting for you." She replied as Hatter collapsed onto his bed, knocking his hat with Dormouse in side onto the floor. "Hatter." No reply.
"Hatter what's going on?" As she spoke, an irritated – yet still half asleep - Dormouse crawled over to Alice's leg and began to climb, deciding that Alice's bed was a better place to sleep than anything belonging to Hatter. Still Hatter said nothing.
"For crying out loud Hatter!" From her bed, Alice stood suddenly, Dormouse clinging desperately onto the quilts of the bed. "What's going on?" her tone was calm, but demanding, Hatter could tell that this secrecy was driving Alice mad but he still didn't reply. Instead he curled up tighter on the bed, covering his head with a limp arm.
"There's nothing to talk about." He mumbled from under his arm. "Now go to sleep." Clenching her teeth at his patronising tone, Alice tugged at the sleeve of the tunic tightly to control her anger.
Not that it helped.
"Hey!" Hatter sat up, clutching the pillow Alice had just thrown at him, "That could have hit me!" Ignoring Hatter's protests, Alice picked up a black slipper from the floor and threw it at him, this time hitting the target.
"That's kinda the point!" Alice teased, brandishing another slipper. "Now you, willanswer my questions before I get something heavier." Hatter narrowed his eyes.
"You wouldn't." Alice started back steadily in reply, giving the slightest of daring smiles.
"Try me." When Hatter didn't reply, Alice went to pick up his – much larger - shoes but was stopped when he tackled her, knocking her to the ground.
"What on-! She exclaimed as she hit the ground, the force of her head against the wooden floorboards making her see butterflies for a couple of seconds. As she regained her sight she found Hatter straddling her, shoe in hand.
"Get off me!" Hatter smiled slyly, dropping the shoes and now leaning closer, pinning her to the floor by her wrists.
"Why?" he asked innocently, noticing the way her pale face got just the slightest bit pinker than usual. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" his voice dropping an octave, leaning close to her ear.
Alice, not amused or affected by his act stopped struggling and glared at him darkly.
"Yes, you're heavy, now get off." Frowning in confusion that he was having no major effect on her, Hatter began to remove his weight.
"Promise not to throw anymore shoes?" glaring at him with one open eye, Alice nodded reluctantly, looking away, trying to hide her panicked breathing. "Or slippers, or any other possible projectile object?"
"Fine." She grinned darkly at him. Hatter gave a wide smile back and patted her check.
"Good girl." Standing slowly, Hatter helped Alice stand, going back to his bed on the other side of the room. Alice refused to look to Hatter, still trying to stop her shaking and heavy breathing. He was only teasing Alice. He wasn't going to hurt you. Remember what Dr McShannon said. Despite Alice's attempts to control herself, Hatter still noticed the slight shaking coming from the red head. Crunching up his nose at the sickly feeling in his stomach, Hatter scratched the back of his head and sighed. Picking up her pillow from his bed, Hatter walked over to Alice and placed a hand on her shoulder. Alice jumped slight and turned her head to see Hatter.
"Get some sleep Alice." He said, handing her back her pillow with a gentleman's smile. "I'll tell you everything later. Promise."
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"I'm not so sure about this."Alice said warily the next morning, as a blue skinned woman circled her much like Hatter had done when they first met. Duchess grinned from her spot in the corner, dressed less manically than the day before, more business meeting and less nightclub.
"Luckily for you, I am. Try to keep it casual, Asasha." She motioned to the woman. Bowing low, the woman turned to a large walk in wardrobe, shutting it behind her to give them the privacy Duchess had ordered.
"Spit it out Alice." Giving Duchess an innocent look, Alice gave a small smile.
"Pardon?"
"I'm not blind Alice." She said, crossing her arms over her chest, glaring at her like an amused yet disappointed parent. "Or stupid. I can see a question waiting to be asked." Twiddling her thumbs and looking down to the ground, Alice refused to meet Duchess' gaze. Even though she looked only a couple of years older than Alice herself, Duchess carried herself differently. Pictures of lioness and tigers came to mind when Alice thought or saw her. Poised and ready to attack at any moment.
"Hatter's refusing to tell me about what you talked about. I guess the worry is just starting to get to me." she replied honestly. Hatter had disappeared from his bed when Alice woke up, and just as she was wiping the sleep from her eyes Duchess and her lackeys barged in, dragging her into the room she currently occupied.
"The Queen knows what you look like. Might as well change your image to give you more time out of her detection." Duchess had explained as the other woman had been measuring her.
"Hatter hasn't told you?" She asked, only the slightest note of surprise coming through.
"Told me what?" Duchess' cold and calculating eyes watched the mousy, red hair woman curiously, the fact that she hadn't looked up since she'd been dragged into the room not escaping her notice.
"You're dying Alice." She replied in a nonchalant manner, fixing her black leather gloves.
Alice froze.
I'm...dying?
Before, Alice could think of anything to say, the woman pushed open the doors to the walk in wardrobe with a flourish gesture.
I'm. Dying.
Pushing Alice behind the wooden screen, the woman gave her a pile of clothing, all unlabelled.
But I feel fine. Maybe hyperventilating more often but... Shutting her eyes tight, reality began to hit. Since she'd arrived in Wonderland the attacks had been happening more often, and getting worse and worse as she stayed. Maybe Duchess was right...
"What..." Alice began, trying to find the correct words. "What do you mean by...I'm dying?" she asked, slipping off the temporary tunic she had been wearing.
"Haven't you noticed that since you've arrived in Wonderland you're breathing has become more irregular. You almost suffocated when the card guards ambushed you." Frowning as she pulled on the long flowing cream blouse Alice shook her head. Erase all other possible routes, that's what her dad had always told her. Make sure that what you know and what you believe are the only possible answers. If there's room for doubt then it could be wrong. That was the thought process of a god Detective Chief Inspector.
Thinking about her dad brought back the familiar bought of guilt that she had been repeatedly told was pointless by her mum. You did what was best for you. Not for him.
"Alice?" Alice quickly snapped back to reality, realising that she'd been silent for longer than normal.
"I..." she started, clearing her throat. "I suffer from Panic Attacks." She said with a sad smile. "Ever since I was 14 I would... freeze up and hyperventilate when in stressful situations or crowded places. Almost suffocation for silly reasons is a normal occurrence for me." Erase all possibilities. Alice thought to herself. This is a possibility. Duchess shook her head with a knowing smile.
"These aren't ...panic attacks as you call them. " Duchess assured her, stepping forward. "Trust me. I've seen humans dying before, all of them from this type of poisoning." Stepping out from behind the screen, now dressed properly in jeans and a top, Alice gave Duchess a questioning look.
"Poisoning?" she asked as she tied her hair up in a quick ponytail.
"To humans the air we breathe is toxic, and seeing that humans breathe in at double the rate of a Wonderlander, you've got about a week to live before the air becomes toxic. And then about three days before you die very painfully. So," Duchess started, standing up straight and smiling as kindly as possible – although it came out as more of a smirk. "How about we get you home as quickly as possible."
Alice couldn't deny that Duchess' seemingly calm facade helped her control her frazzled nerves. She just told me that I'm going to die in a very painful way if I don't get out of here in a week and yet she's acting like she just told me the tea's getting cold. Maybe everything will be okay. Or she's just a cold and calculating woman that doesn't care about my wellbeing.
Meanwhile, Hatter was outside the Club, pacing like he had been the night before, only now mumbling nonsense words to himself.
"I can't tell her." He said to Dormouse under his hat. "But she needs to know. But what if she blames me? I can't tell her. But she has to know...Ugh!" he threw his head up to the hair, taking his hat off to run a hand through his hair. "This is too hard!"
"Hatter?" Jumping at the sudden appearance of Alice, Hatter turned to see her standing beside Duchess.
"Alice." He smiled kindly, trying not to look as if he was looking her over. "Ready to go?" holding out his arms in question. Alice nodded softly as she watched Hatter with an accusing gaze. Had he even planned to tell me?
"I'd recommend going past the old High Wizard grounds," Duchess said, as Alice went over to Hatter. "Try and avoid the Cats for obvious reasons." Duchess drawled, the dark glare Duchess directed at Hatter as he mumbled under his breath.
"I'm not that stupid."
"Keep to the borders of the Pixies and Sprites also. They're known for violent behaviour."
"Wait, wait, wait, wait." Hatter stopped her, waving his hands from side to side. "That's the way to the White Queen. Sorry to burst your bubble Duchy but where trying to get to the Looking Glass, not meet the Queen for tea." Alice turned to Hatter with a mixture of shock and admiration as he spoke to Duchess, the woman he'd been cowering at only hours before. Lips twitching up ever so slightly, Duchess clenched her fists and lowered her head as she glared.
"Sorry to burst your bubble Hatter." She spat. "But I just got word that the Looking Glass has been moved." Composing herself she looked to Alice, standing up straight to tower over them both.
"Unfortunately no one knows where to and your best bet on getting that information is to-"
"See the White Queen." Hatter finished, dejected. Grinning darkly, Duchess nodded. Sighing deeply, Hatter turned towards the forest and started walking, muttering under his breath. Alice went to follow when Hatter quickly backtracked, as if forgetting something.
"Oh, before I forget Duchess." He said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Remember," he started, pointing to her as he spoke slowly as if to a child. "At the end of the day...it's night." Alice choked in a laugh as Duchess went to hit him over the head but he quickly dogged, running backward and lifting his hat in reply with a large grin on his face.
Needing to have the last word. Alice thought, once again having to cover up a laugh as he fell over an invisible obstacle. How utterly...childish.
"One more thing Alice." Grabbing her arm, Duchess leaned in close to Alice's ear watching with Alice as Hatter picked himself up.
"Watch out with that one. I've heard of Hatter's escapades and none of them are good."
"What are you talking about?" Alice laughed. Duchess grinned sadistically as she watched Hatter slip again.
"He's a bit cowardly. Isn't he?" she said, voice slow and considering. Turning her head slowly to see Duchess' face, Alice frowned in confusion at the sadistic grin. She knows something I don't. Before Alice could think of a reply, Duchess gave Alice a forceful shove towards Hatter causing Alice to trip over her own feet a couple of times as she regained her balance.
"Goodbye Alice of Upperground." She called as Alice ran to catch up Hatter, the familiar speed of fear interlaced with her run. "I hope you find what you're looking for!"
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