I have no words to excuse my tardiness with this chapter..all I can say is that real life sucks sometimes and keeps me from writing.
I want to give a big shout out to my beta Yuki Sakura-Chan. She is awesome. Go check out her stories, they are AWESOME!
Just a reminder I put the links to their outfits on my profile. Check em out!
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Twilight or any of the lovely characters. They belong to the wonderfully talented Stephanie Meyer. I do own the original story line and any original characters. But I do own: All of the books, soundtracks to all three movies, Team Edward t-shirt, Twilight the movie, New Moon the movie and used ticket stubs to Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse.
Last Chapter:
"Bella, are you okay?" he asked as I ran towards them. I just nodded as I bypassed him and jumped into my brother's surprised arms. Thankfully he had quick reflexes, because he caught me and held me close to him.
"Bells, you okay?" he asked quietly. I pulled my head back so that I could take in his face.
"You're going to be a dad," I said in a watery voice. His eyes went wide with surprise.
"How do you know?" he asked.
"Alice guessed and Rose confirmed."
"Should have known that pixie would figure us out," he chortled his face exploding into a huge smile.
"You're going to make me an Aunt," I squealed loudly. Everyone else must have heard because I could hear Edward and Jasper offering up congrats from behind me.
"Are you happy?" I had to ask, even though I knew the answer.
"Beyond happy, Bells. I am fucking flying," he shouted as he spun me around in a circle before setting me back onto my feet. "Now, I need to go kiss my wife."
I smiled at his back as he jogged over to Rose and picked her up in a bear hug, squeezing my niece or nephew between them.
"Are you happy, Love," Edward asked as he slid his arm around my waist. I turned to look at him, taking in his happy eyes and his toothy smile.
"I'm fucking flying," I said mimicking my brother.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*WYB*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The next day found us in the bridal room watching as Alice became a bride. Her short inky hair was swept back with pearl encrusted combs, waiting the moment that she placed the ivory birdcage veil upon her head. I started to feel a little weepy as I watched the beautician apply the last of her makeup.
I made fun of her a few weeks ago when she told me that she was going to hire a whole beauty crew. Beautician, manicurist, hair artist, and a masseuse. She said that a girl could not be expected to do anything for herself on her big day. I mostly think that she was worried that her hands would be shaking so bad that she would end up poking herself in the eye.
"And that is the final touch," Amy the beautician announced as she swept one last brush of gloss on her lips.
She turned Alice's chair around to face us. She was glorious, the most beautiful bride ever.
"You're a bride," I announced taking in her picture perfect face.
"I know. I can't believe that I'm getting married."
"You are. You're getting married." We may have all squealed together then. A smiling Amy packed up her supplies and wished Alice congratulations on wedding before leaving us to our squeals and tears.
Rose and I quickly helped each other into our matching bubble dresses. Hers red, mine black. Even though Rose claimed that she has already gained ten pounds you couldn't even tell, the dress still fit her like a glove.
Thanks to Alice's beauty entourage that had just left Rose and I were already ready to go. Both of our hair were both done up in classic up do's with tiny shiny crystals tucked in strategically. Just as we were preparing to get Alice into her dress there was a knock on the door.
"Is everyone decent in there?" Alice's mother, Margie, called out.
"Decent as we'll ever be," Rose called back.
"And that is why I love you three," Margie chuckled as she blustered her way into the room. "You never lose your senses of humor. Humor, my dears will get you through many tiffs with you your dear's husbands."
Margie was full of life and husband advice. We had been hearing little tips on dealing with husbands since we were about seven. She had one for everything.
"Kill them with kindness dears, kindness will get you through many tiffs with your dear husbands." This advice was given to us at the ripe age of ten; we had come home to find Mrs. Brandon mending holes in Mr. Brandon's socks. I can only guess that they had, had a "tiff" and she was killing him with kindness.
"Cooking is the way to a man's heart. A good home cooked meal will get you through many tiffs with your dear husbands." This one came around Thanksgiving one year. I can't remember what had brought the advice on, but it was there never the less.
There was one piece of advice that none of us would forget. It was right before graduation and Margie was having a hard time with Alice leaving the nest soon. Margie and Mr. Brandon had been fighting a lot at that time, given how lost Margie felt. The girls and I were staying at the Brandon's one evening we had come home to find Margie sitting at the table with a bottle of scotch open in front of her and an empty tumbler in her hand.
"Alcohol my dears, it will get your through many tiffs with your dear husbands," she had spouted off to us before shooing us off to bed.
That may have been the best advice she had ever given us.
Alice definitely got her bigger than life personality from her mother. Margie was all of five feet tall, with a mountain of black curls that sprang everywhere off of her head and she had more energy than Alice, Rose and I put together. She made Alice seem calm and normal. And today was no different; she was like a whirlwind bursting into the room. She was wearing a dress that hung to her dainty ankles, sounds normal right? Well it was the brightest color of purple I have ever seen and to accompany the dress she had a black feather boa wrapped around her neck.
"Oh baby," Margie said in a watery voice. "Don't you look like the most beautiful bride?"
She walked up and wrapped her tiny arms around Alice. "I'm not even in my dress yet, mom."
"Doesn't matter sweetie. A dress doesn't make a bride, that look on your face and the way you are absolutely glowing does. I have always found that no matter the girl, beautiful or not, being a bride brings out the best and makes them shine," she explained as she flittered around the bedroom that we were using as a make shift bridal room. Her tiny hands picking up something here and there. She was always on the go, always moving.
"Thanks mom. I feel like a bride. I've been waiting my whole life to marry Jasper, I can't believe that, that day is finally here," Alice gushed as she turned back to the mirror.
I felt a sudden pang in my heart at her words. I remember that feeling, that absolute certainty that you were making the right and best decision for yourself. The night before everything changed, before Edward left, I remember laying there in that bed and thinking that same thought, that I had been waiting my whole life for my life to begin. Edward had been my life and to know that we were being joined had made me euphoric.
"Bella, you okay?" Rose asked breaking me out of my morose thoughts.
"Huh, oh, yeah I'm fine. Just got caught up in the intensity of the day, you know," I tried shrugging off her worry.
"Bella, you know its okay to think about that time in your life. It may have been painful but it also helped morph you into who you are today. Plus you and Edward are back on track, it won't be long before it's you who is getting ready to walk down that aisle."
I felt my gut twist and I almost had to fight to keep down the small breakfast that I had eaten. I took some deep breaths to help steady my nerves, it helped a little.
"Yeah, you're probably right," I offered half heartedly. Rose gave me one last concerned look before walking over to Margie, who was trying to "fix" Alice's perfect hair.
It wasn't that I didn't want to marry Edward one day, I figured somewhere mentally that it would happen, but the thought of putting myself out there again like that is what caused me to almost lose my breakfast. I loved Edward, and for the most part I was starting to trust him again. But I wasn't sure that I would be ready for such a big step, I already did that before. I had said yes, I had done the whole bridal thing. Picking out the dress, tasting cakes, looking at flowers. I had put my whole heart on the line and when the time came to become his wife, the only thing that I had actually wanted, he made a fool of me. He trampled on everything that I given him and left me a shell of my former self.
I needed to stop thinking about this, it's not like Edward was going to propose any time soon. We had just got back on our feet; we needed to get to know each other again before we should even consider that.
"Hey Bella, you want to help me here?" Rose once again broke me from my thoughts. I really needed to stop spacing out today was Alice's day, not mine.
I looked over to find Rose slowly pulling Alice's dress from the garment bag. It was absolutely quiet in the room except for the forgotten photographer snapping pictures of us. She was amazing, the photographer, she had told us that it would be like she wasn't even there and she was right. Besides the occasional sound of her shutter flickering she was invisible.
I jolted over to Rose just in time to help pull the rest of the plastic away revealing Alice's perfect dress. I still remembered how the simple A-line dress looked on her. Alice held onto my shoulders as Rose slid the dress up her nylon covered and tulle skirt covered legs, up over her tiny hips until the dress sat in its place. I quickly slid all the buttons through their holes until it was on.
Perfect.
Alice was a vision.
"You look amazing," I breathed out. "This dress is beyond perfect."
"I know," she said with a coy smile before turning to look at herself in the mirror. She ran her shaky hands, the only sign of her nerves, down her lace covered skirt.
"Let's get your veil on," I said as I checked the clock on the wall. We only had a few more minutes before it was time.
"I should go get Mr. Brandon," Margie said in a watery voice. "Tears my dears are your friend; they will get you through many tiffs with your dear husbands."
With that one last piece of advice she rushed out of the room in search of Mr. Brandon.
"I think your mom will be giving us advice until the day we die," I chortled as I placed the birdcage veil carefully on her head; I slid the few diamond encrusted pins into place and stepped back.
"Even then she'll have some advice on how to get through the afterlife with our dear husbands," Rose chuckled.
"That's very true," Alice pitched in.
We all turned and looked into the mirror together. We three had been through so much together, it was hard to believe that life was changing again. Alice stood in the middle of us, her veil partially obscuring her face.
"I'm not going to cry," she declared. "Because I will be pissed if my makeup is ruined."
"Why cry," Rose choked out. "Today is a happy day."
"So happy," I offered with a watery smile.
"It is happy. The happiest," Alice said as one lone tear slid down her cheek. "Well until that little one comes." She nudged her elbow softly into Rose's side.
"Well what can I say, I love being the center of attention," Rose joked; it was exactly what we needed to help lift the slightly saddened mood that had settled on us.
"That you do," I joked back.
"Ha ha."
"Nothing's going to change," Alice said suddenly bringing us back to our moment. "I promise."
"Yes it is. But that's alright Al. Life is suppose to be about change. Some change is good. This change is good," I said giving my best friend a huge smile. "You're going to be Mrs. Whitlock now."
"Mrs. Whitlock," she said dreamily. "I like that change."
We stood there for a moment longer with our arms wrapped around each other. I noticed the soft sound of a shutter clicking. Oh, I bet she was having a hay day with our little moment.
A soft knock on the door brought us back to what we were doing.
"You ready, Tink?" Mr. Brandon asked sticking his head in the room.
"More than ready," she giggled. "You two first, I need a moment with my daddy."
I noticed then that Mr. Brandon was fighting to hold back his tears. I grabbed Rose's hand and my bouquet and quietly left the room.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*WYB*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
We found Edward and Emmett standing outside the doors that led to the ballroom in Alice's grandmother's massive mansion. I remember when we were just little girls; Alice and I use to spin each other around in that ballroom. Alice always gushed about how she was going to get married in that room.
And now she was.
"You look amazing, Love," Edward whispered into my ear when I sidled up next to him.
"Why thank you sir," I joked as I went to place a kiss against his lips. I pulled back at the last second, not wanting to mar his lips with my red lipstick.
"What no kiss?"
"I just don't think you would look good in this color," I waved my hand over my mouth.
I took a minute to appreciate Edward in a tux. Originally Riley was supposed to walk with me down the aisle, sharing the best man duties with Em. But with all of the craziness that he was dealing with, he had regretfully called Jasper a few weeks ago and told him that it wasn't possible for him to fly back in time for the wedding. Between the expense of moving and starting a new job he just didn't have the time or money.
Alice, of course, had freaked. I'm pretty sure that she had booked a flight to Salt Lake City just to beat him in the head with her pointy shoe. Jasper and I had to talk her down for an hour before she would realize that there was an easy fix to all of this. And once Jasper told us his plans there was three very surprised people in that room.
Jasper had plain fully pointed out that Edward could fill Riley's spot. If anything Edward in his eyes should have always been his best man. It was in that moment that I knew that Jasper had truly forgiven Edward. After a very manly hug shared between the two, all things were better and Alice dropped her pointy shoe and went to work on measuring Edward for his tux. It was almost scary that she cared a measuring tape in her purse. Scary, but normal for Alice.
"Probably not," Edward chuckled as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I love you."
"And I love you," I sighed. I never knew that it was possible to feel this happy. I know that I had, had that mini freak out in the bridal room. But for the most part everything was beyond perfect between us.
The sound of Alice's heels clicking against the marble floor brought us all back to the moment.
"Alice, you look beyond amazing," Edward complimented her when she was close enough.
"I know," she chirped as she slid her arm through her dad's.
We all stood and stared at our little pixie friend that was most beautiful bride. I saw that she was getting misty eyed again. This was not a good thing.
"Are you ready?" The wedding planner asked breaking the teary mood.
"I've never been more ready for anything," Alice said perking up. "Now you all need to get in place so I can go marry my husband."
We all chuckled as we took our places. I slid my hand through Edward's arm, squeezing it gently.
"Let's do this," he said with a grin as the bridal march started.
He and I went first. It was a tossup on who should be first, Rose or I. But after a very intense game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. It was decided that I was the victor.
Edward and I glided effortlessly down the aisle together. I tried not to let the knowing look that we got from some of the guest affect me. I knew that most of the people in this town had nothing better to do then gossip about everyone else. We walked past my parents. I gave them a quick grin, only to have it wiped from my face when I noticed that Edward's parents were sitting in the next aisle up.
Esme gave me such a hopeful smile when I was passing her, I tried to return it. I really did. But I couldn't. I needed time still. I just hoped that they understood that. Edward must have sensed what was going on because he looked down at me and mouthed that he loved me.
In that moment everything else was forgotten.
We separated at the end of the aisle, him to the groom side, me to the brides. But we didn't take our eyes off each other. I looked at him standing there. Almost in the place of the groom and I could almost imagine what it would look like when he was the groom. I waited for the impending panic attack to come like earlier but for some reason all I felt was relief and an overwhelming sense of rightness. He cocked his head to the side, giving me a curious look. It was almost like he was asking me if I was okay. I nodded minutely. Hoping that it went undetected by the guests.
We had somehow missed Em and Rose walking because before I knew it the opening sound of the bridal march had started and everyone was standing in wait of Alice.
I, instead of looking for my friend, turned and looked at Jasper. I knew that Alice was beautiful, I had seen her already but I wanted to see the look on his face when he saw her…..I wasn't disappointed. When she stepped through the arched doorway, his whole entry body lit up. A smile that I had never seen before broke out across his face and tears blossomed in his eyes. The sight of those tears caused the same to happen to me.
They were happy and in love. It was an amazing sight to witness.
The rest of the ceremony went by in a blur of written vows and soft I do's and finally a kissed that sealed them together forever.
Before I knew it Edward was escorting me back down the aisle behind our newly married friends.
"This will be us someday," he whispered in my ear softly.
And for the first time in a long time that thought didn't scare the crap out of me.
*~*~*WYB*~*~*
Everyone was quickly ushered into a waiting area of sorts while a crew quickly tore apart the wedding ceremony and turned it into a fabulous wedding reception. Edward and I huddled off to one side watching as everyone descended on Jasper and Alice. We could hear from across the room the ongoing chorus of congrats and compliments on the wedding. Thankfully the crew worked quickly and after only fifteen minutes we were all ushered back into the ball room.
It was amazing. Black and red tulle was draped everywhere. Blood red roses graced every table we tiny black candles twinkling everywhere. It was sight for sure. We did the customary speeches once everyone was seated. Thankfully since I won the Rock, Paper, scissors, it meant that Rose got to give the speech. I was thankful for that, public speaking wasn't my forte. Em was also given the honor more because he had been around the last four years and had way more embarrassing stories to tell. And he did tell, about ten of them.
Once the chuckles died down the bride and groom were called up for their first dance. We all watched in awe as Jasper twirled Alice around the dance floor.
*~*~*~*WYB*~*~*~*
A few songs later found me in Edward's arms. The dance floor was packed, so for the safety for everyone involved Edward kept us on the outer ring of the mass of bodies.
"I don't want to ruin the moment but my parents are making their way to us," Edward breathed into my ear.
I wasn't too surprised, up until this point I had been lucky. They had cornered Edward while I was in the bathroom earlier. Well cornered isn't the right word, Edward was on good terms with his parents. They have had four years to deal with their issues.
Instead of answering him, I just held him tighter for a minute. I knew better than to say anything the last thing I wanted was for Edward to feel like he had to choose between us. "I love you."
"I love you," he beamed as his parents waved to us from the corner of the dance floor.
"You ready for this?" he asked as he pulled away.
"Of course," I mean it's not like they were going to bring everything up right here at the wedding.
We made our way through the crowd until we were standing in front of Carlisle and Esme.
"You look lovely, Bella," she gushed once we were with them.
"Thank you Esme," I offered politely. "You look lovely as well."
She really did. She was wearing a light blue silk dress that hung on her frame perfectly settling just below her knees.
"Thank you."
"The wedding turned out very nice," Carlisle offered this time. The awkwardness was so thick that I could almost cut it with a knife.
"Very nice. Alice was very thorough on her planning," I said with a polite smile.
"She was always a planner," Esme said, I'm sure remembering how Alice had been at planning my wedding.
I bit my tongue, stopping the words that wanted to erupt.
"That she is," I forced out instead.
"Well, we will let you get back to your dance," Carlisle said. "We were hoping that you two could make it to dinner one night before you leave back for Seattle?"
My heart clenched in my chest. I wasn't ready for that, but I felt put on the spot. I couldn't turn them down without it looking like a huge slight. Thankfully Edward came to my rescue.
"We'll have to see. I have plans for Bella and I tomorrow and I'm not sure what our evening looks like yet," he said noncommittally. "I'll let you know."
"Of course," his mom said with a sad smile. I guess she was hearing the no in his statement and for a minute it made me want to tell them we would be there. But that minute passed and they turned and disappeared into the crowd.
"Do we really have plans tomorrow?" I asked in lieu of talking about the bigger topic that needed to be discussed.
"Yes," he said giving me a cheeky grin.
"And?"
"And what?"
I narrowed my eyes at him "And what are those plans?"
"I just thought that we could go to our meadow. I haven't been there in a long time."
"Me neither," I said sadly. I really missed our meadow but when he was gone it hurt to go back there. It was too tainted by memories.
"I figured. So you're okay with going then?"
"Of course." I leaned in and kissed his lips. The DJ interrupted us when he made an announcement.
"This next song goes out to Edward, from Bella," he said into the microphone. I saw Edward's eyes widen slightly.
I had wanted to dedicate this specific song to him for a long time, especially after he sang me one that night we figured things out. I made sure to ask Alice if it was okay if I did it at her reception, she of course didn't care.
"What did you do, missy?" he asked as I pulled him out onto the dance floor.
"Just returning the favor," I grinned at him as I wrapped my arms around him. "And since I can't sing well or play an instrument, you get a dedication."
The music started to swirl around us.
Something' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's something' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life
If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light
Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
I looked up to Edward with watery eyes. The words to that song were exactly how I felt about him. He was my home; he was exactly where I belonged.
"I love you," I said as the last chords played.
"You have no idea how much I love you, Bella. You have given me everything. Thank you for not hating me and letting me back in," he said through his own teary eyes.
"I couldn't ever hate you."
He pulled me close and held me tight for the next few songs.
The rest of the reception flew by in a flurry of bouquets thrown (which I caught, but I'm pretty sure it was only because Alice chucked it right at me. Even with her back turned she was perfect aim). Jasper threw the garter next, only to be caught by his twenty year old cousin Peter. I think he tried to aim for Edward but Jasper isn't as good as Alice.
Rose and I helped Alice change into her white eyelet summer dress. And before we knew it, it was time for us to throw the birdseed at them as they rushed to their car. With one final wave Alice disappeared into the car and they were gone. I felt a rush of relief as I watched their car disappear down the long drive; I was relieved that Alice's day had gone perfectly.
We hung around a little while longer to make sure that the cleanup crew how their instructions but after such a long day we were all pooped. Rose and Em headed upstairs to their room first, she was almost asleep on Em's arm as he guided her up the stairs. I turned to Edward who was leaning against the wall watching me. If it was possible he looked even better now than he did this afternoon. He was missing his tie, the first few buttons of his white shirt undone and his jacket was slung over his arm. I felt that stirring low in my gut, the one that told me that I better get him somewhere private before I gave the cleanup crew a show.
I slowly walked towards him, hopefully having the same effect on him that he was having on me. By the look on his face, I would say I was.
"Hey," he said huskily when I was close to him.
I reached my hand out to entwine our fingers together. "Hey."
He leaned down and placed a chaste but heated kiss to my lips. "Take me to bed," I breathed out.
And he did, multiple times.
*~*~*~*WYB*~*~*~*
"You doing okay?" Edward called back over his shoulder.
"I'm fine," I huffed annoyed. I mean I knew that he wanted to go to the meadow today but it did it require leaving at eight o'clock in the morning? No, it didn't.
"I know its early love, but it's suppose only be sunny until early afternoon and I wanted to be able to spend ample time with you there." He flashed me a crooked grin as he stopped to wait for me to catch up with him. Once I was there he grabbed my hand holding it tightly.
"I know, I know," I grumbled. I had seen the weather report before we had left this morning. But it still didn't make me a morning person.
We walked the rest of the way in silence and before I knew it we stepped through the overhanging foliage that marked the entrance to our meadow.
And like always it took my breath away. The summer flowers were in full bloom, giving the meadow a splash of color. Blues, purples, and yellows swirled everywhere. I could hear the gurgles of the spring close to us.
"I missed this place," Edward said from the side of me. "I always dreamt you here. Every time I closed my eyes, I was haunted by it. You lying in the flowers, the sunlight glittering off of your skin. I dreaded and begged for sleep at the same time."
"I know the feeling," I murmured as I grabbed his hand to pull him farther into the meadow. "I'm glad we came here today."
And I really was. Edward and I needed to be reminded of where we came from, who we were. Together and apart. It was the only way that we were ever truly going to move on from our past.
We spent the next few hours laying in the grass and watching the white puffy clouds float by in the sky. And of course there was kissing….a lot of kissing. But we didn't take it any farther than that; it was almost a little reminiscent of our younger days. Groping, kissing and all that jazz.
We started packing up as the gray skies started rolling in. Edward was acting all fidgety and nervous as he helped fold up the blanket and pack up the left over lunch. It almost reminded me of…..Oh shit, it reminded me of when he brought me here the last time, to propose.
I felt myself break out into a cold sweat. He wouldn't, would he? And if he did what would I say?
No?
Yes?
Maybe?
Shit, I wasn't ready for this. And if I wasn't ready and said no, would that put us back at square one?
Fickle Pickle!
What was I going to do? Now both of us are acting all weird. And if I noticed that he was, I'm sure that he noticed that I am.
"Hey you okay?" his slightly strained voice broke into my thoughts confirming what I was thinking.
"I'm fine. Super," I tried to sound cheerful and upbeat. Not quite sure that it came out that way.
"Okay. I was getting a little worried by the way you were repacking those sandwiches."
I looked down at the wrapped bread in my hands and realized that I had completely balled it up in my fist. Chunks of bread and mayo seeped out between my fingers.
"Oh… oops," I said in a surprised voice. "I didn't realize."
I grabbed an extra plastic bag and deposited the ruined sandwich into it.
"You sure there isn't something that is bothering you?" He tried again pulling the bag out of my hands and placing it in his knapsack.
"No, just got lost in thought. How about you, I' not the only one acting a little frazzled," I pointed out.
"You noticed that?"
"Um, yeah. I had to ask you four times to help me fold the blanket before you heard me."
A pink hue settled on his cheeks and the tops of his ears. "I'm sorry. I've been thinking about something a lot over the last few days and I guess it's got me a little distracted."
I nodded my head in understanding. I knew how that was.
"You want to talk about it?" I asked as I pulled my jacket on. The wind was starting to pick up, if we didn't want to get drenched we only had a few more minutes before we had to leave.
"Actually, yes I do. I'm not sure how to go about this, so I guess I'll just go with it," he said as he reached into the pouch on the front of his knapsack and pulled out a small, square jewelry box.
I literally felt my breath catch in my throat. My palms instantly starting sweaty and I'm pretty sure that I started to see spots.
"Edward," I stuttered out.
"Bella please let me ask this. If I don't do it now, then I don't know if I'm going to." I could tell by his voice that he was as nervous as I was.
"I just…this isn't…." I tried to express what I was feeling but nothing was coming out right.
"Please Bell," he gave me a pleading. So I closed my mouth and let him talk.
"I never thought that you would give me another chance. When I left I thought that you would hate me forever, hell I wouldn't have blamed you if you had. But for some reason that I will never understand and never question, you did. I am so thankful for that. I love you, Bella. I never stopped and I want to spend my life with you."
He stopped there for a moment, maybe giving me a second to let what he was sinking set in. I wanted to stop him and tell him that it wasn't time yet, that we still needed to get to know each other again, and that I was scared to go there again. But the words wouldn't form.
"This isn't what you think Bella," he stated.
"What?"
"I know what you're thinking. This isn't it."
"So you're not proposing?" I asked in confusion. If he wasn't proposing then what was with the speech and the jewelry box?'
"No. Not that I don't want to, because I do more than anything. You being my wife, is my dream. But the look on your face a moment ago confirmed what I already knew."
"What's that?"
"You're not ready for that," he said almost sadly.
"Edward," I started but he quickly cut me off.
"I don't blame you for that Bella. I knew from the beginning that it was going to take more than a few months for you to ready for that. When it is time for me to propose there will be no doubts on either of our sides," he explained softly.
"There are no doubts on my side Edward. It's just the thought of doing that again, putting myself out there, it scares me. More then I like to admit," I explained. "But I don't doubt you or us. Please know that."
"I do know that. I also know that it will take time before you fully trust me,"
"Edward," I interrupted him. "I do trust you."
"Bella," he sighed. "If it wasn't for me and my actions then you wouldn't be scared. So in the big picture, it is a loss of trust in me. Which I accept and fully understand."
Instead of fighting with him on this, I decided to steer the conversation back to where he had started. "So if you're not proposing then what's with all of this?" I gestured my hand towards the ring box.
"Well there is something that I needed to ask you."
"Okay."
"Bella, will you move in with me?" He flipped the top of the box open revealing a shiny silver key on a crystal encrusted keychain nestled inside the box.
"Edward," I gasped. "I don't know what to say."
I really didn't. I knew that this conversation was coming. He had been laying hints for weeks. Asking me what I thought about the colors in his apartment, if I liked the furniture, things like that.
"Yes would be a good answer," he joked.
"Do you think that we are ready for this?" I asked honestly looking up into his emerald green eyes. I tried to see if there was any doubt there, any hint of regret of what he asked.
"Yes, I do," he said in a firm voice. "We are together all the time as is. This step makes the most sense and I think that we are totally ready for it."
I looked back down at the shiny key as I tried to decipher the feelings that were rushing around in my body. It took me a moment to realize that I wasn't feeling any fear or doubt.
I guess I had my answer.
"Yes, Edward, I will move in with you," I breathed out. His arms wrapped around me picking me up from the ground and holding me tight against him.
"I love you so much Bella. I am so happy that you said yes to living with me."
"There was no other answer. Wherever you are, is exactly where I belong."
And it was.
And that's all she wrote (well besides an epilogue) I can't believe that's all that's left. :*( I seriously have tears in my eyes….I know lame, but I do, cause that's how I roll!
I know that there are still some lingering questions. Mostly what happened with Tanya that will be answered in the Epi! I promise!
Reviewers get a teaser!
XO-
Symphiann