The Stupidest Things that ThunderClan had ever done.

By Mooneys

HIYA! I JUST HAD ICE CREAM SO I'M SUGAR HIGH WHICH IS GOOD! ENJOY!

Wait-Okay, I would only recommend reading this is you are 13 or up because it's…well…it's….disturbing, so yeah.

WARNING! ONLY READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU DON'T VALUE YOUR SANITY!

Tigerclaw Confesses

Bluestar returned to camp happily from her hunting trip. She looked around. Spottedleaf was talking with some queens, and everyone else was out.

"Erm, Bluestar?" Oh StarClan! It was Tigerclaw. He should be hunting, why was he here?

"Yes."

"I would like to talk to you. In private!" He added.

"Okay then, come into my den!" She said and they walked inside.

----

"Well," Tigerclaw began as he sat down in Bluestar's den. "Um, lately, I've been…having problems." He said.

Oh StarClan! Bluestar thought. He's got problems! She looked around, spotted the exit, inched toward it. "Well," She said, "I know just what to do-wait here!" Then, faster than lightening, she was out of the den.

"Spottedleaf! Spottedleaf!" Bluestar shouted, running toward her.

"Yes Bluestar?" She replied sweetly.

"Go to my den!"

"But wh-"

"Just do it! Off you go!" Bluestar meowed, and ushered her off.

"Wonder what her problem was…" Spottedleaf meowed to herself as she entered the den. Tigerclaw was lying down, trying to claw his tail when he spotted her.

"Spottedleaf! Thank StarClan! You came to help with my problems right?" He meowed.

Problems, oh no… "What sort of problems?" She asked, hoping for the best.

"Well, you see, I have an…itch." An itch? Oh no, it had been moons since she'd she this. "And I need some therapy!" He added.

"Well," Spottedleaf began, taking slow steps toward the exit. "I'm a medicine cat-Thank StarClan" She coughed. "So I can't give you therapy, BUT I'll find some who will." She darted toward the exit and ran out before Tigerclaw even had a chance to open his mouth.

"Okay!" Spottedleaf announced as she padded up to the queens. "Tigerstripe needs some help with his problems, any volunteers?"

The she-cats looked at each other. "Tigerclaw has problems? Ohhhh…." They all said.

"And I, being a medicine cat, cannot help him, so one of you has to." She added quickly.

"I'LL DO IT!" Cloudpaw shouted, running up.

"No!" Spottedleaf said quickly. "You can't do it!"

"Why not?" Cloudpaw protested.

"Because!" Bluestar began. "You're an apprentice!"

"So? Why can't I help Tigerclaw?"

"Because, I have a top secret mission for you instead."

"Really cool…"

"Listen closely." Bluestar meowed. "Go fetch moss for the elders."

"WHAT? THAT'S NOT A SECRET MISSION!"

"GO!" Bluestar yelled, then chased him out of camp.

"Now," She continued as if nothing unusual had happened. "Volunteers please?"

Silence.

More Silence.

Cough.

Still Silence.

"Maybe it's better if he doesn't have therapy, I mean, think about. Thoughts bubbles appear.

Tigerclaw was standing with a bunch of mini Tigerclaws. "GET THEM, MY MINIONS!" Tigerclaw shouted and the mini-Tigerclaws attacked. Tigerclaw laughed evil, then stopped. "Shoot! Where're going to be late for dinner! RETREAT!" The Minis ran away and Tigerclaw meowed, "I'll get you next time!" Then ran off.

"I'll do it." Goldenflower said.

"But Goldenflower-"

"How bad can it be?" She meowed, then went to Bluestar's den.

"Tigerstripe?" Goldenflower said, entering then den.

"Yes Goldenflower? Are you going to help me with my problems?"

"Yes, yes I am." She said, twitching and beginning to have second thoughts.

"THANK YOU GOLDENFLOWER, I ALWAYS KNEW YOU LIKED ME!" Tigerstripe sobbed, then gave Goldenflower a huge.

"Yes, well, let's get this over with." Goldenflower said, and since that day, Tigerstripe has never cried in front of any she-cat again!

A/N Thus, Tawnpelt and Brambleclaw are born! Yep, disturbing, I told you but you didn't believe me! Oh well, your loss. Now, I need ideas for the next chapter so PLEASE help me out! THANK YOU! Bye-bye!