The Stupidest Things that ThunderClan had ever done.

By Mooneys

Yo! Been along time eh? Well, I'M STILL ALIVE! AND SUGER HIGH! WOOH! Wooh, my grammar and stuff was BAD when I wrote this. I hope this one is better!

WARNING! ONLY READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU DON'T VALUE YOUR SANITY!

I Will Survive

Disclaimer:

Author: Nope, don't own warriors.

Fireheart: Good thing, too

Author: AH! HOW ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

Fireheart: Now that you started up this fic again, I can talk to you.

Author: Oh. Okay. Do you have any lemonade?

Fireheart: What's lemonade?

Author: CLAN-CATS DON'T HAVE LEMONADE? Gosh, it MUST be HellClan.

Fireheart: Hey! Anyhow, The Author or Editor that doesn't edit DON'T own warriors, or else strange things would have happened. And since the Author's insane, I'll tell you on her behalf to enjoy the story!

Author: NO LEMONADE?

Barkface stood over Tallstar twitching body. It was a few days after they had moved into their new territories, and, despite what Erin Hunter says, Tallstar was still breathing, or wheezing rather. "Tallstar," He meowed sadly."What is it, Barkface?" Tallstar coughed, his soulful eyes looking into Barkface's sad ones. "Well, Tallstar," Barkface began, shuffling his paws nervously. "I'm afraid you'll be hunting with StarClan soon.""NO! NEVER!" Tallstar called out so abruptly it caused Barkface to jump."But why not Tallstar? StarClan will welcome you among their ranks!" "No," Tallstar wheezed. "I will…I will…I WILL SURVIVE!" He then leaped up and sprinted out of the medicine cat's den, Barkface following closely behind. When Barkface reached the clearing Tallstar stood in the center, WindClan all around him, with every light gone but one that shone on Tallstar.

"First I was afraid
I was petrified" He sang, pointing toward the crowd of cats.
"Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side" Her pointed down at a little puny bug by his side.
"But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me"

"I WILL SURVIVE!" Tallstar called out, despite the lyrics he was reading off of. "I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL SURVIE! I WILL SURVIVE!" Then, Tallstar leaped out of WindClan camp in one strong jump and began rocketing toward ThunderClan. "We've got to go after him!" Barkface cried and ran off toward ThunderClan territory. When he reached the forest cat's camp, he found them all applauding his leader. But there was something different about Tallstar…HE WAS WEARING A MR. INCREDIBLE SUIT! ZOMG! "Thank you, thank you very much," Tallstar said in a deep voice into a microphone. "Now, for my next piece. I will survive by Gloria Gaynor, and no the author doesn't own it so don't sue her!" The lights went out and Tallstar continued.

"Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive!"

"I WILL SURVIVE!" Tallstar ended, followed by clapping. "Like, ZOMG, I'm your biggest fan!" Squirrelflight called in an extremely girly voice. "Tallstar!" Barkface cried. "What are you doing? You must get back to camp!""NEVER!" Tallstar shouted. "FOR I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL SURVIE! I WILL SURVIVE!" He then took off again, toward ShadowClan territory."Oh no! They'll kill him if they find him in their territory!" Bluestar cried. Yep, she's here to because the author brought her back for the purpose of this story. Authors can do that you know. Yep, they sure can. Now comes the big event you've all been waiting for. Ice or Water.How can I chose? Suck on Ice? Or Drink Water? WAIT! I KNOW!I'll mix them together!See, I'm so smart!

My teachers just don't see it.

Oh dear, I've wondered away from the story line.

And if only took me…counts…7 lines. That's strange.

Usually it takes me twenty.

I'M LOSING MY TOUCH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

"STOP THAT ALREADY!" Bluestar cried, smacking the author.

"Ow! Fine you ungrateful little flee bag. And so-"

A ThunderClan patrol accompanied by Barkface set off toward ShadowClan camp.

"I hope he sings again!" Squirrelflight said in joy. "I just love him!"

"But I thought you loved me?" Brambleclaw cried out in agony.

"I do Brambleclaw. But can you sing?"

"No,"

"Then we're through!"

"WAAAAAAA!" Brambleclaw then went off crying and Squirrelflight told Leafpool about her love for Tallstar's music.

Then they went through many epics to get through ShadowClan territory that you can think up yourself because you have an imagination and I'm too lazy to type it up to get to the camp. When they arrived, scarred for life for something horrendous battle that I don't feel like describing, they found Tallstar once again singing.

"I WILL SURVIVE!" He broke out. "SURVIVE, SURVIVVE, SURIVIVE!"

"TALLSTAR!" Squirrelflight screamed, climbing up onto the platform that had magically appeared as Tallstar sang. "I'm your biggest fan!"

Suddenly, a shovel came down on Tallstar's head. "Oh no! I missed!" The author cried out, agonized. "I was aiming for Squirrelflight…" Then she realized who she had hit. "IT'S TALLSTAR!" She scooped up the confused kitty and hugged him very, VERY tightly. "He's so cute!"

"TALLSTAR!" Barkface shrieked, terrified for his leader's wellbeing.

"Quick, Hannah!" The author cried. "Take us back."

Suddenly, a brunette editor that doesn't edit walked out holding a strange looking machine and pressed a button, and she, the author, and Tallstar vanished, but the machine remained.

"TALLSTAR!" Everyone screamed again.

"MY IDOL!" Squirrelflight sobbed.

To be Continued….

Next time,

"What's that?" Fireheart cried. He was still a warrior because the author said so.

"Dunno," Graystripe replied, read above for details, poking it. "What do you think we can do with it?"

---

"DON'T MOVE!" The author shouted, Tallstar still in her arms.

"Oh StarClan!" Bluestar cried. "What's that?"

"Something else in the twoleg world, I assume." Leafpool told her.

"Well, it's scary whatever it is," Cloudpaw shuddered, who was still an apprentice because read a few lines up.

NEXT TIME

We're off to save Tallstar! Or not.

A/N I'm alive, despite my lack of updates. I had really bad writing skills when I wrote this last, I hope I improved and you enjoyed. Toodles! A review or two please! And note, I wrote this in what? Thirty minutes?