Author's note: the next chapter, it's all Misaki btw. i kinda think it sucks though, but you'll be the judge to that. again, i'm thanking those who read , added to thier fave, subscribed and reviewed this crappy story of mine, it makes me feel that you think that my story is worth your time. for that i give my sincerest gratitude. hontou ni domo arigatou gozaimasu
this is purely fanmade, any similarities to any story is purely coincidental otherwise specified.
Disclaimer: i do not own Junjou Romantica nor any of the characters.
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Sunday 01:46
I don't feel the cold wind slapping my skin. I don't feel the smooth, hard, concrete road beneath my feet. I don't see the city lights and cars and nighttime strollers around me. I don't hear the screeching of the tires, the buzz of insects, my own footsteps nor my heartbeat. All I could think of now are those words, repeating over and over, like a malfunctioning radio at my head.
"If you're tired then leave... If you're tired then leave... If you're tired then leave..."
Finally, I felt something else aside from that pain. I felt tired. My feet refused to take another step. I looked around and found no one. Just then, I realized that I'm at the park. It was eerie. The silence was deafening, "I hate this silence", only the occasional whoosh of a passing car at the distance. It was also dark, "I hate dark places", only a couple of lamp posts were lit and quite conveniently, there are benches under them. The wind, also, is strong here. Its invisible breath blowing winter kisses to my already numbed skin. It took me a few seconds to realize that I forgot my coat and I was standing there, shaking from cold, "I hate this cold".
"How long have I been walking? What time is it now?" I quietly wondered, I approached one of the benches and sat there, rubbing my hands together, hoping that they'll cause enough friction to warm my freezing hands. A couple more minutes passed, and still, I can't seem to generate any heat. I stopped my futile battle with friction and proceeded to breathing on them. "haaaaahhhh….haaaahhhhh" I watched as visible steam pour temporary warmth to my numbed palms. It worked, a little. I'm still cold, so cold, and…..empty.
"What am I doing here anyway? Why am I not at home? Can I still call it home?" I wondered bitterly. It surprised me a little that I actually made it this far without thinking why I should be here in the first place. "Of course it's still your home! It always has been and Usagi-san is part of that home so let's go home now, before you froze to death at this place" shouted the ignorant part of me. Yes, Usagi-san's place is what I call home, the only place I felt comfortable, the only place I felt I belonged. When has it started to become my home? Why not Nee-chan's place? I shook my head, I don't really recall.
"It doesn't matter anyway now, you've left that place, it has ceased to become home right? The master of that house and the main reason why it has become your home just asked you to LEAVE. What were his words? "If your tired then leave…" you ARE tired right? Tired of him, his indifference, his respite, his coldness." Another side of my brain clicked in, the one that I really don't want to listen to but has been shouting the most logical reasons. It kills me to think of it that way, if Usagi-san's place is no longer home, where should I be now? I'm lost. The sudden realization slashed another painful blow into my shattered heart( do I still have one?)
"ah, that's crap. You know that's a lie. Usagi-san is just tired see? He can't seriously mean that you know. Come on, why don't you just head back home, sleep at your room, wake up at around 6, prepare breakfast then wait for Usagi-san. Everything would just be fine." Hail the revival of my defense-mechanism, my hopeful side. I sighed, yeah; I could just go home and pretend none of this had happened. He looked tired and I think that he's drunk too. "yeah, that must be it, he IS tired and DRUNK, I shouldn't take what he said too seriously, he can't be tired of me can he? He still loves me, its just his work, its driving him to the edge, I must be more mature now, I must understand him."
I stood up, I have decided to go home. I just exploded back then, that was no excuse. I'll just head back and go on with my daily routine. I don't want to be a bother to Usagi-san after all. "But you ARE a bother" I stopped dead on my tracks. "And what about those photos huh? He IS tired of you, he has replaced you with someone new. He meant what he said, don't they say that when a person gets drunk he tend to say what he truly feels?"
I could almost see that little demon me at my left side: red, with horns, a fork, a pointed tail and a reasonable argument. I looked at my right side, there sat the little angel me: white all over, with wings, a halo and a comforting thought.
I stared at the dark road ahead. Cold, lost and confused. Should I go home and pretend nothing happened? Should I stay here at the park and wait for tomorrow with no real plans? (thank God there's no classes at Sunday and I have my day-off too) Or should I go somewhere else, at Nee-chan's maybe, and then what? I don't know. I don't know anymore.
What should I do? Where should I go? Oh God, please, someone, anyone, help me.
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A/N : perhaps your thoughts are something like these: "what now? is Misaki going home or is he not going home or is he gonna stay there till he rot or what?????!!!!! or " hey, why did you stop here? what happened to Usagi-san? who was that guy? stop leaving us in the dark!"
yes, i'm also wondering who that guy is and what will happen to Usagi-san now (meaning i'm still in the process of making that chapter)
i give you permission to murder me now for doing this to you, i also think that it is unfair of me to not answer the questions from the previous chapter. i am just feeling to upset to write anything good today so we're stopping here. the next update would be on.......................... oh wait, i dont know.
im spacing out again, gonna get my medication. (and my glasses, argh where are they?!?!)
do continue reading and reviewing. your reviews are the fresh blood that keeps this lowly (vampire) fanfic maker inspired to continue living. please keep my system circulating. thank you so much
have a junjou day minna-san
[listening to Runaway]