Okay so sorry this update took months. A lot happened: got sick, almost lost my sight, got a little better, then the semester started and I only just sneaked in the time and patience to force this chap out. So please enjoy and tell me what you think of it ^^

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi-sensei

If I don't laugh I'd cry

Chapter 7

"Just as I thought, with the exception of two or three glimmers of potential, you are all utterly talentless." I looked up at the cold hearted bastard that was standing beside me with my mouth open in shock as he addressed the disheartened members of my club.

"Hey! How could you tell them that?" I whispered at him tugging on his shirt sleeve to get his attention. Uchiha-teme glanced down at me.

"And you're the worst." He told me straight faced, "Besides the usual errors, your piece had no conclusion."

"What do you mean it had no conclusion? I sent you the whole thing, all two pages."

"And it was two pages of you rambling and complaining about your little problems, but no conclusion."

"But-"

"We'll talk about that after the meeting." He cut me off then turned back to the now amused club members, "Next on the agenda is the book signing excursion. Iruka-sensei never got to picking an author so I will have to do it, I guess we'll go see whoever is in town at the time."

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

"So what's this about you being a total idiot of an English sensei and not noticing my obvious brilliance?" I told Sasuke-teme after everyone else had left at the end of the meeting. He was sitting behind his desk working on some papers and doing other sensei-ish stuff . He lifted an annoyed brow at my comment but said nothing about it.

"Why are you here?" he asked me.

"You told me we'll talk about it after the meeting remember?"

"There's nothing to talk about, I already told you what I thought, now go away dobe I'm busy." He said as he picked up his pen again and his attention went back to the work in front of him. With a stubborn expression I leaned over his desk so that I blocked his light and Uchiha-teme glared up at me.

I gave him a very fake grin and said, "I'm not leaving until you explain."

Uchiha-teme stared up at me for a moment then he sighed and rested his pen down again. He spoke in a way that was obviously impatient and humoring, "What was the point of your essay dobe? What was the feeling you were trying to explain?"

"Duh! I was trying to tell you how confused I was about the whole situation with my girl- ex-girlfriend. And stop calling me that!"

Uchiha-teme shook his head, "No, you weren't confused. And I call it how I see it, dobe."

"What?" I scowled at him, "How would you know I wasn't confused?"

"It was very clear from what I read that you knew exactly what was wrong with the entire situation. You know what's wrong with you, but you didn't write it in the essay, which is why I said it didn't have a conclusion." I found myself just staring at him like he was crazy and when the bastard noticed that I was completely lost he just rolled his eyes. "This is a waste of time." He grumbled. "You're a usuratonkashi who doesn't even understand himself."

"Well maybe I would understand if you were just a bit little more clear!" I growled at him suddenly getting annoyed, he was just talking crap about my perfectly fine essay and now he's getting angry with me for not understanding a word he's saying! But he didn't seem completely crazy so I guess in some way he might be right about something, so I decided to try and understand the bastard for once, "Okay, so you're saying that my essay had no conclusion because even though I thought I didn't understand what is going on, the truth is I really do, and there is something wrong with me?" the memory of Hinata's teary face suddenly surfaced ("….something is wrong with you Naruto!") but I ignored it, it'll just make me depressed.

"Well I wouldn't call it 'wrong'." Uchiha-teme said and I cocked a brow at him. "But yes, that's basically it."

"Then what's up with me?"

"Figure it out yourself."

"No, tell me!" I persisted leaning closer over his desk and the teme looked irritated.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I don't care, it's none of my business, now leave my office before I call security."

I chuckled at that and said, "You wouldn't." and a devilish smirk graced Uchiha-teme's lips making me shiver from both fear and something else I wouldn't admit.

"Okay, maybe you would. But before you do you gotta tell me."

"Do you ever listen, or do my words just get lost in that big empty skull of yours?"

"C'mon please? If you tell me then I could work it out and get my girlfriend back."

"Heh, I doubt that." He muttered.

"Why are you so mean?" I asked him suddenly sounding upset.

"Huh?"

"Do you know how hard this is for me? My life has never been this uncertain!" I cried getting louder with each word, "All I want is a break! Just let it end, it's all I'm asking Uchiha-sensei!"

"Okay okay, just shut up already! Geez." He cut in angrily, "I'll tell you."

He he, it worked, I thought as I smiled at him in victory and again Uchiha-teme just watched me wordlessly for a few moments before he spoke and I wondered what he was thinking.

"So what is it? What's wrong with me?" I asked him one last time.

"You're gay." He answered, "That's why you couldn't love your girlfriend the way she wants you too, that's why you feel like a bastard about it, that's why you're so confused. You're gay and you're a usuratonkashi for not realizing it yourself."

"I-I-I-" me stuttering, I felt like I had been spun around in circles and then left there blinded. What the hell, that came out of nowhere, "How-"

"Breath dobe, it's not a big deal."

"B-but, I- I'm not gay." I finally managed, "An-and who the hell do you think you are telling me that!" I told him angrily and Uchiha-teme just looked blankly at me, like my reaction was something boring and expected. But this felt surreal, he was the first person to ever say that to me, and with such a serious face, it was scary.

"If you're going to annoy me further I suggest you get out before I -"

"Shut up! You're doing this on purpose! I know you hate me, I know that that essay was just an attempt to get back at me for that day I beat you up, but you don't have to take it this far!"

"First all I'm not doing this on purpose, I told that I didn't want to tell you but you're the one who wanted to know. Second i'm the one who kicked you're ass remember? And though I do hate you I'd never waste that much time on you. You're attracted to guys, you've always been, get over it and leave me alone."

"I SAID I'M NOT GAY!" I shouted and instead of being pissed like I thought he would be about me shouting at him, the bastard just smiled at me as an almost ominously dark glint came over his eyes.

"You're not?" he said and then he did the freakiest thing, well at least I inwardly defined it as freaky because I didn't move when Uchiha-teme leaned closer to me over the table, his face coming in far enough for me to smell that familiar blend of cologne and his natural clean scent, his warm breath brush against my face. I didn't even blink or make a sound as his nose touched mine, "If you don't want this," his perfect tenor voice purred into my ears sending a shiver like a straight line of lightening down my spine, "if you don't want this then push me away." And he then he pressed his lips against mine, his warm, unbelievably soft lips and I felt like this was my first time because kissing Hinata felt nothing like this. Something as uncontrollable as the shiver came over me and I pushed harder into the kiss, opening my mouth to taste his lips and hopefully enter the desirable cavern behind it but suddenly he pulled away.

Uchiha-teme fell back into his seat with his arms folded and a satisfied smirk on the lips I was still hungering for. I stood frozen in the same position as reality came back gradually, and besides it also rang one screaming mantra like a shock pulse in my head: My sensei just kissed me. My sensei just kissed me- my !MALE! sensei just kissed m! I opened my mouth but nothing, not even a squeak, came out.

"Hn, knew it. " he told me and I watched him wide eyed. "You have a lot to think about baka."

"Y-you, you pedophile!" I pointed with one hand as I wiped my lips furiously with the other, finally got my voice back.

"Don't call me that."

"But you just kissed your student! I'm a minor!"

Uchiha-teme shrugged as he picked back up his pen again and started continued with what he was doing before, "I don't know what you're talking about, I never kissed you."

"B-but you did!"

"If you don't have evidence you don't have anything, dobe."

"Teme! Stop messing with my head!" I demanded pounding my fist on the desk to make him look up but he didn't. I stood there of a while glaring at him but he was definitely ignoring me now. I couldn't believe it, he kissed me and now he's pretending it never happened? What the fuck's up with that! I should get out of here, I thought, before he does something even weirder.

With an angry huff I turned away from Uchiha-teme, then grabbed up my bag and went for the door, opened it and stepped out.

"Even if I did kiss you," I heard him say now as I was about to close the door behind me, I stopped but didn't turn back as he spoke, "would you have liked it?" I could hear the smirk in his voice, he was just toying with me, acting like he knew me, this was just all another one of his tortures wasn't it? The bastard probably thought he had something on me now and just the thought of that made me hate him right now.

"No," I said, "it would be disgusting, cause you're a guy." I thought I heard something then, like a rustle but then his voice back again, this time a little tighter.

"You're annoying, leave."

"That's what I was doing." I said as I closed the door.

When I got home dad wasn't there, a note on the counter told me that he was at his office again. I guess I felt a little disappointed, I wanted to talk to him, not about what happened today I just needed the distraction because all I could think about- shilt!

The end

I hope this was enjoyable cause like I said it was forced. Please tell me if it was good or not (I might write it over) ^^ thank you for reading.

Next chap: naru get's suspicious of his dad