Demons

by SGAFan

When a routine mission goes horribly wrong, Major John Sheppard survives, but now must face an enemy none of his training or experience could prepare him for himself. Suddenly, John is forced to question everything he's ever stood for.

2. Book I Chapter II

Hours passed as John continued to think, his emotions swaying radically between hope, when some strategy would form in his head, and helplessness, as impossible obstacles forced him to discard it. He glanced down at Cooper, who faded in and out of consciousness, the waves of pain coming at regular intervals. To John, the young solider didn't seem to be getting worse, but deep down, he knew the Wraith attack would ultimately would have a devastating effect on him… or at least that's what Carson had theorized.

"They digest humans as they feed, Major. There must be at least one enzyme associated with that, probably more. Think of thed enzyme as kind of like an acid. It'll eat away at living tissue, ultimately causing irreversible damage."

John continued staring at the dozing Corporal, concerned at the light sheen of sweat that had formed on Cooper's brow. In the last hour, he had developed a fever, as his body reacted to the Wraith attack in the only way it knew how. Guilt plagued John. He could've left Cooper and Bower at Atlantis. He could've left them standing post, instead of insisting they come along. He could've….

He shook his head and inhaled sharply. Second guessing the past would get him nowhere. Given what he'd known at the time, he'd done the right thing. Hell, if he'd known what he knew now, none of them would've gone to the planet in the first place. He shook his head and once more looked around, momentarily angry with himself for allowing his mind to wander off the task at hand… and into something as pointless as guilt.

Pulling strength from deep inside, he felt raw determination once more take over. He refused to give up. He had to focus on the here and now, and, right now, the priority was freedom. There had to be a way for them to escape. All he had to do was figure it out.

He was abruptly snapped from his thoughts by movement in the hallway. He took a deep breath, once more forcing a cold and calculating expression onto his face and burying his emotions deep within himself. By the time the Wraith guards opened the cell, he wore a resolute expression and stood unmoving over Cooper. The two lead guards stepped aside as a Wraith male slowly walked between them. John immediately recognized the male as the one that had visited them before.

John quirked an eyebrow as a faint humorless smile pulled at his mouth. "Back so soon?"

The Wraith's eyes widened, his expression turning predatory. "Stand aside, human." He looked down at Cooper, before glancing at one of the guards.

John just stared back at the powerful Wraith, unfazed, silent and unmoving, keeping his expression neutral, even as a Wraith guard stepped in front of the male. He only slowly shifted his attention to the guard.

He never saw it coming.

Faster than he could react, he felt a forceful blow propelling him backwards. Helplessly, he sailed through the air before crashing to the floor, the force of the hit from the Wraith guard sending him sliding into the back wall.

He groaned and pulled in a ragged breath as stars danced in his vision. Cooper's stifled cries of pain cut through the fog in his head. He blinked hard and forced himself up on his knees, driven by Cooper's plight. He looked up, watching as the Wraith guards uncaringly pulled Cooper off the floor and carried him out of the cell. Anger surged through him the rough treatment of his injured man sparking a primal rage deep within.

Two more guards approached John and waved silently for him to stand.

Drawing a deep breath, he slowly pulled his legs under himself. Springing to his feet, he buried his fist in the gut of one of the guards, the force of his entire body behind it. The Wraith staggered and, wasting no time, John reached for the stunner weapon.

His hard won, small victory was short lived. Pain exploded in the back of his head, as the other guard struck him with the blunt end of his stun weapon. Dazed, John sank to the floor. He was helpless when the Wraith guard he'd struck recovered from the blow and grabbed both of his arms, cruelly twisting them behind his back.

He staggered as he was brutally marched from the cell. He glanced over at the semi-conscious Cooper, who was being dragged along close by. Helplessness once again stalked him, but he refused to give into its seduction. He forced it deep within himself and shook his head repeatedly, chasing away the fog of unconsciousness and regaining his wits as he prepared to face the "master" Wraith once more. Training and instinct drove him as he struggled to impose an iron will over his emotions

He and Cooper were brought to the same room they had been in before. Circling the large table, the "master" Wraith looked up as they were marched in.

Forced to his knees, John looked up as the Wraith slowly approached. He drove all fear and doubt from himself as he stared defiantly back.

"You are different," the Wraith stated without preamble. "When last we met, I told you I would know why." He stopped for a moment and looked down at John, before turning to Cooper. "You will tell me what you know of Atlantis." The Wraith's expression was frightfully eager as he looked down at Cooper.

John's mind raced. Torn between his loyalty to Atlantis and his personal standards for any man under his command, he was gripped with indecision for the first time since he had stepped through the Stargate to Atlantis. He tore his gaze from the Wraith and looked at Cooper, the corporal's pained but intense gaze demanding his attention.

Slowly, silently, Cooper shook his head.

Watching the subtle exchange, the Wraith grabbed Cooper's hair and yanked his head up, forcing him to make eye contact. "You will not die painlessly, human… or quickly." The Wraith bent in close, his face scant inches from Cooper's. "I will take your life, piece… by… piece."

John pulled against his guard, his actions fruitless. "Leave him alone, you bastard!"

His expression challenging, the Wraith looked over at John. "Tell me how many people are in Atlantis!"

Deep inside John, something snapped. From somewhere John found a new sense of control… of clarity, as his rational mind overpowered his emotions completely and utterly. The Wraith weren't interested in a compromise. They wanted answers to their questions… and would kill Cooper to get them. But, darkly, John realized they were going to kill both him and Cooper anyway. His thoughts turned to Elizabeth… the expedition team… Earth. This was more than intel… more than what that Special Forces colonel was talking about. John was weighing his life and Cooper's against every life on Earth. Perspective struck John and his decision came swiftly. Faintly, guilt screamed at him, but John stuck to his choice: the only one he could make in a situation with no winning outcome.

"No." John's whisper had a note of resignation to it, but the gaze he gave the Wraith Lord was unwavering.

The Wraith's reaction was instantaneous. He slammed his hand into Cooper's chest, eliciting an agonized cry from the young soldier.

John's control snapped, his hard-won logic crumbling under a tidal wave of emotion. "NO!" His voice took on a note of desperation that angered him even more. He lashed back with his elbow, catching the Wraith soldier in the gut.

Snarling the guard easily lifted John off the ground, before throwing him hard to the floor.

He felt the air explode from his lungs as a strangled cry escaped his lips. His entire body screamed in pain as he forced himself to take a ragged breath, wheezing loudly as air reluctantly rushed back into his lungs. He looked up just as the Wraith pulled away from Cooper.

Cooper slumped into unconsciousness, held up only by the grip of the two Wraith guards on his arms.

The "master" Wraith crossed to John and looked down. His expression was impassive. "You have more strength than I first believed, human." He cocked his head in faint curiosity. "Interesting." He abruptly turned away as the Wraith guard pulled John back up on his knees.

"Who are you?" John croaked, his breath only just beginning to come back to him. His mind cleared and he forced himself to once again match wits with the Wraith. He pulled in a deep, ragged breath. "You could just say you're 'my death,' but I was hoping for something more original," he quipped humorlessly.

The Wraith's gaze narrowed as he slowly turned and once more stared at John. "You do not fear me."

John's expression turned spiteful, and his voice took on a low and dangerous tone. "I've killed enough of your kind not to be scared anymore."

The Wraith slowly walked back to John and circled him. "I have not seen one like you in a very long time." He stopped in front of John and stared him in the eyes, his gaze searching.

"Who are you?" John repeated as he met gazes with the Wraith.

The Wraith turned away. "I rule this hive, human. I am its Lord."

"Lord?" John glanced at Cooper, before once more watching the Wraith. "Lord of all the Wraith?" he continued, determined to keep the Wraith Lord's attention on him… and off Cooper.

The Wraith once more turned back to him. "Of this sector's hives, Atlantean. Every sector has its hives, its Queens and its Lords."

John stared spitefully back. "Somehow I can't see my way clear to calling you Lord." He smiled humorlessly. "I think I'll call you Fred."

The Wraith ignored the remark. "Do not think I have forgotten your companion." He looked down at the Corporal and hissed.

John's heart skipped a beat. "Wait!" He pulled against the solid grip of the Wraith guard, desperate to keep the Wraith's attention. "Why are you telling me all of this?"

The Wraith turned cold and deadly eyes on John. "Because when I have learned all I can from you, I will feed upon your strength, human." With deadly accuracy, the Wraith grabbed Cooper and fed.

His hair nearly white, and his face aged decades beyond his young years, Cooper moaned weakly.

"NO!" John struggled in vain, desperation robbing him of rational thought. "Damn it, stop!" He pulled helplessly against the guard. "STOP IT!"

The Wraith glared at him, a chilling smile splitting his lips at the Major's desperation. He fed a few moments longer, before pulling away. He waved absently at the two guards, who let go of the Corporal, allowing him to fall heavily to the floor.

The Wraith slowly circled the motionless, prone soldier. "He will not live much longer, human." Leaving Cooper behind, the Wraith once more approached John and stopped. He snarled, his face only inches from John's. "Then I will feed upon you."

John stared coldly back and quipped darkly, "I hope you get indigestion, Fred. It didn't have the effect he was hoping for.

The Wraith abruptly smiled, his expression eager at the determination and strength he saw in the Major's face. "I will savor you, Lantean." He turned away, waving at the guards.

John continued staring at the Wraith Lord's retreating back, until the guard physically forced him away and marched him out of the room.

He glanced over at Cooper. The unconscious soldier was being dragged by two guards. He looked decades older than he had when they'd left the cell. John felt the pressure of their situation redouble within him. Cooper would never survive another session with Fred. Whatever John was going to do to escape, he knew he had only a few hours to do it.

--------------------------------------

Rodney glanced out from under the DHD, watching as Ford's boots once more passed by. He reached for his diagnostic computer and tapped a couple buttons. The readings the computer spat back at him were not encouraging. Sighing, turned his attention back to the DHD control crystals, his mind racing. "Why is it that these things always look so easy in theory?" he muttered, careful to keep his voice quiet enough not to be heard. Playing twenty questions with Ford was the last thing he needed right now. His gaze once more flicked to the ground beyond the DHD as Ford's boots again passed by. "Pacing definitely does not help," Rodney muttered.

"What?" The boots stopped and abruptly Ford's face peeked under the DHD. "Did you say something McKay?"

Rodney glared at Ford, giving the Lieutenant a very well-practiced annoyed look. "Stop pacing!" He returned to working, hoping that if he ignored Ford, he'd go away.

"How's it coming?"

He's clueless. Rodney's irritation redoubled. He glanced at the equipment scattered around him before glaring at Ford. "How does it look like it's coming, Ford? Now shut up and let me work!"

"McKay…." Ford's retort was stopped short by Stackhouse's voice coming across both their radios.

"Lieutenant… I found something you might want to see."

Rodney's anger dissolved at the sergeant's subdued tone. A hopeless pessimist, he paled, his eyes widening as they connected with Ford's. "You don't think…?"

Ford jumped up. "Let's find out for sure." He grabbed his radio call button. "On my way, Sergeant."

Rodney followed behind Ford and Teyla quickly joined them as they started across the clearing.

"Shouldn't you keep working?" Ford asked as they walked briskly through the thick grass side by side.

Rodney stared evenly back. Never one to express it, he nonetheless had a deep respect for John. If this had anything to do with his capture, he was going to see it first hand. "Not right now."

Silently, Ford nodded.

They came to the edge of the clearing and found Stackhouse standing next to a large tree. He was looking down, his eyes wandering across the ground around the tree.

Rodney's gaze followed the Sergeant's. "My God," he whispered.

"Damn," Ford muttered.

Lying casually in the grass were a P-90 and a 9 mil handgun.

Stackhouse slowly knelt and picked up the P-90, turning it over in his hands. "It's out of ammo." He grabbed the side arm and nodded. "This one too." He glanced around at the numerous empty casings scattered on the ground, before fixing Ford and Rodney with a grim expression. "Whatever happened, the Major and Cooper put up a hell of a fight."

Rodney nodded, his expression stony. "For all the good it did." He watched as Ford looked out across the clearing, his gaze distant.

"This must've been where the Major dragged Cooper to when he was stunned. Cooper was unconscious. This is all from the Major." Ford looked back to the ground and absently kicked a few bullet casings. "The Major must've made his stand here… until he ran out of ammo."

"Yes," Teyla agreed. "I recognize the landmarks." She pointed across the clearing. "That is where they emerged from the woods. This would've been the closest cover the Major could get to."

Rodney squatted, picking up a bullet casing and rolling it between two fingers. He could almost see John standing there, protecting an unconscious Cooper, as the Wraith closed in on them. Respect welled deep inside Rodney. Had the situation not been so grim, he would've chuckled over it. For years, he'd worked closely with the military. Not by choice, but by necessity. It seemed whatever he was involved in, the military wasn't far behind. He'd watched them: macho men with big guns and overbearing attitudes, throwing their weight around… looking down on him and the other scientists. Testosterone-driven, gun-happy bravado, he'd called it.

Why would this one be any different? Rodney had asked the first time he laid eyes on Major Sheppard. Yet he'd been surprised by John's willingness to put his own life in jeopardy… to risk his own capture… his own life, in the name of someone else…impressed by the way he led a team, other soldiers, willingly into the unknown to rescue Sumner and the others. Suddenly, testosterone-driven gun-happy bravado no longer seemed right to Rodney. Irritation flickered at him, but he denied its effects. He never liked being proved wrong, but in this case, he couldn't deny the facts before him.

Other words, ones like bravery, valor, and courage started to find their way into his perspective on the military.

You don't leave people behind.

Rodney glanced around at the bullet casings by his feet. He'd heard those words from John's mouth a few times, but only at this moment, only on seeing the gun… the bullets… the fight John had put up, even in the face of inescapable odds, did he finally realize their meaning.

You don't leave people behind.

His thoughts kindled a grim determination. And neither would he.

He stood abruptly, dropping the bullet casing. He turned away, briskly heading back towards the gate.

"McKay?"

Ford's voice stopped him in his tracks. He put on his best sour expression and looked back. "I have work to do." He turned away and headed back to the DHD without another word.

---------------------------------------

They came again. Ironically, part of John really didn't mind. It seemed like forever since he and Cooper had been left alone. He had paced the cell looking for escape, sat in the corner and brooded, even given in to exhaustion and slept, but the Wraith hadn't returned. As he had watched the young Corporal's condition gradually deteriorate until unconsciousness overtook him, he became acutely aware that there was no escape… not for both of them anyway. There was a chance for him, still healthy… alone, but that would mean leaving Cooper in the hands of the Wraith, and that was an option he refused to consider.

He licked his parched lips; his mouth and throat were scratchy. With his watch gone, he could only guess at how long they'd been prisoners, but, apart the pinch of hunger in his gut, he could feel the effects of dehydration, and guessed they'd been captured at least 24 or 36 hours ago. His head pounded: the headache had been relentless since their last session with Fred. At first, the knock on the head he had taken had made it hard for John to concentrate, but once the lightheadedness had passed, he'd accustomed himself to the pain, and forced his mind to focus.

"Where the hell are you?" he muttered, watching the Wraith walk purposefully down the hallway. His rational mind knew there was no way Atlantis would know where to look for them but, deep inside him, a small flicker of hope still burned. He'd seen the tenacity of Elizabeth Weir, the ingenuity of Rodney McKay, and a small part of John clung to that flicker of hope… the last anchor of optimism he had.

He once again stood over Cooper as the male and two guards entered the cell. He swallowed hard, wincing slightly at the raw pain in his dry throat. A sense of urgency sharpened his senses. Without water, he'd have to do something soon… while he still had the strength to do it. He smiled coldly as the guards both pointed their stunners directly at him as soon as they entered the cell. They were wary this time, and a part of him savored the small victory. He'd made an impression on them, and they treated him more like an equal and less like livestock. Insignificant under normal circumstances, the small kernel of respect he'd gained fueled his spirit and strengthened his resolve. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered his father speaking of the strange respect enemies could have for each other. He'd never understood it… until this moment. He'd stung them enough times that they respected him. They might kill him, or feed upon him, but they'd never look at him like livestock again and he took great satisfaction that small victory.

The Wraith male stepped between the two guards and snarled at John. "Step back, human."

John locked gazes with the Wraith for a moment, before glancing at each of the guards. He looked back to the male. "No."

The Wraith growled and stepped back as the two guards advanced on John. Before he could react, one of the guards raised his stunner and fired.

The force of the blast staggered John, but, to his surprise, unconsciousness didn't overtake him. For an instant, his body was numb… then the pain came. As if thousands of needles had been stabbed into him simultaneously; he felt like he was on fire. A strangled cry escaped him as he fell to his knees.

Allowing him no respite, the guard fired again and the agony in John's body redoubled, tearing a tortured scream from his throat before he fell to the floor. Waves of pain paralyzed him… trapping him in agony as the comfort of unconsciousness was denied him. Panic gripped him… fear consumed him. He writhed, pain stealing his voice.

Gradually, the pain lessened, and his body sagged against the floor, the cool surface soothing his sweating body. Still panting and his heart pounding, he slowly opened his eyes, and looked into the dispassionate gaze of the Wraith male.

"Our stunners have many settings, human… and many purposes." He waved to one of the guards, who picked up John like a rag doll and shoved him against the wall, holding him fast by the neck. The Wraith male stared dispassionately at him. "Continue your resistance and you will learn each and every one of them." He turned and looked down at Cooper. Hissing, he kicked the unconscious soldier, his gaze narrowing at the lack of reaction. His eyes flicked from one guard to the other. He turned and exited the cell, while the two Wraith guards each grabbed one of John's arms and hauled him down the long hallway.

John tried to walk, but his rubbery legs and clouded head hindered him. It was all he could do to stagger and try to keep up with the brisk pace the Wraith set. He shook his head, trying to clear it before going head to head with Fred again. The pain he had experienced had been torturous. He couldn't imagine a worse agony, and a part of him wanted to do anything to avoid experiencing it ever again. Staunch determination filled him. That's what the Wraith wanted and he wouldn't give them that satisfaction.

-------------------------

Rodney scooted back from the DHD and pulled one of the laptop computers closer to him. "Okay, now we're in business."

Ford looked over his shoulder, his expression guarded. "That's what you said the last six times, McKay."

Rodney sighed and glanced up at Ford in irritation. "This isn't an exact science, Lieutenant. I knew this DHD would probably be a little different than the Atlantis one. It's just a matter of adapting the technique to compensate for the differences."

"How long is that going to take? We've been here over eight hours, McKay."

"I don't know, Ford! What's your hurry? Have some place to be?" Rodney shot back.

"As a matter of fact, yeah," Ford responded quietly, his dark, intense eyes fixed on the doctor.

Rodney sighed. "Right." He started rapidly punching keys on the laptop, paused, and stared at the screen for a moment, his expression perplexed. "Hmm… that should've worked…."

"So much for being in business," Ford muttered.

Rodney pushed back the laptop, following its cable back to the inside of the DHD. "You think you can do better, Dr. Einstein?" He wiggled the cord, smiling. "Ah! No problem, just a loose connection." Grabbing the laptop, he once again punched a series of keys and smiled broadly as data began scrolling across the screen. "Like I said, we're in business."

"What? You got the address?" Ford leaned over and stared at the computer screen.

"Give it a second! The program has to scan the data and translate it first." Rodney glared at the computer screen, willing it to work. Sure, he'd assumed there would be some minor differences in technique between the Atlantis DHD and the off-world DHDs. After all, the Atlantis DHD was unique in more ways than one, mostly because of the control crystal. Still, he'd been surprised it had been this hard to compensate for the differences. When he'd stepped through the gate, he'd been assuming it would take an hour… maybe two… not eight.

Abruptly, the data stopped scrolling. Almost victoriously, the computer beeped three times. Rodney's smile of elation faded as several sets of chevrons scrolled up the screen. "What? Damn it!"

Ford looked back and forth between the computer display and Rodney's expression. "What? What is it?"

Rodney furiously punched computer keys, completely ignoring Ford. "This didn't happen on the Atlantis DHD. I don't get it!"

"Don't get what? What's going on, McKay?" Ford's voice rose in agitation.

Rodney stopped typing. "It mined the address alright… along with 10 others!" He glared back at the DHD. "There must be something different between the Atlantis DHD and the off world ones, besides the obvious."

"Can you tell which one the Wraith took the Major and Cooper to?" Teyla asked, as she walked up behind Ford.

Rodney exhaled loudly as his eyes flicked over the computer display. "Maybe…," his voice trailed off as he started rapidly typing commands on the computer.

"McKay," Ford prompted. When he didn't get a response, he raised his voice. "McKay!"

"What?" Rodney snapped loudly as he looked up from the laptop.

"Are you sure the address we want is one of those?" Ford asked firmly.

"Yes, yes, it has to be. There aren't any others." Rodney returned his attention to the computer.

"Then what do you say…," Ford started, only to be cut off by Rodney.

"That's it!" Rodney's furious typing increased in tempo, "it has to be."

"McKay…."

"Shut up, Ford!" Rodney waved aimlessly in Ford's direction. He typed a few more commands and looked up, a smug smile crossing his face. "I have it."

"How…?"

"Never mind how, Ford! I have it,." Rodney interrupted triumphantly.

Any irritation Ford had at Rodney's behavior was mostly quelled by the victory. He reached up, clicking on his radio. "Team, this is Ford. Fall back to the gate to return to Atlantis. McKay thinks he has the address." Ford squatted next to the Doctor and eyed the partially disassembled DHD. "How long until we can dial out?"

Rodney quickly reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, hastily scratching down the chevrons for all the addresses. He underlined the probable one and glanced at Ford's quizzical expression. "I want a hard copy… just in case." He looked around at the scattered equipment. "Give me 15 maybe 20 minutes."

"You're sure that's the right address?"

"Yes!" Rodney immediately responded. His expression abruptly lost some confidence. "Well, mostly…."

Ford shook his head. "Great," he muttered.

"Ford, the chances are extremely high that I'm right here!" Rodney retorted.

Wordlessly, Ford stood, crossing in front of the Gate to meet with Stackhouse.

Rodney took a moment to stare at the addresses, still displayed on the computer's screen, his gaze fixing on one particular sequence of chevrons. He was right, and he knew it, even if he couldn't prove it. This was too important for him to be wrong, and he knew with warranted confidence that, when the chips were down, he rarely was wrong. Hope returned to him. We're coming, Major.

-------------------------------------

John suppressed a grunt, as the guard threw him to his knees. Catching himself with his hands, he straightened, closed his eyes, and imposed a strong discipline on his aching head. Between the past abuses and his recent experience with the Wraith stunner, he felt foggy headed… scattered, and had to work to concentrate. He opened his eyes and watched as Fred slowly approached him.

Fred circled John, but John continued to stare straight forward, unmoving. Stopping in front of him, the Wraith looked down, his expression cold and calculating. "Your companion is near death, human."

John stared evenly back, his iron will controlling any emotional response. "What's your point?"

Fred smiled predatorily, refusing to be baited. "Yet his strength has sustained me… and soon yours will too." His hands folded behind him, Fred slowly walked to the large table on the other end of the room. He stopped behind a female seated at the end. Almost reverently, he ran one hand up her cheek, growling quietly as she hissed back at him.

John looked away in disgust… an action not lost on Fred.

He came back to stand before John. "I tire of these games." Abruptly, Fred grabbed John's hair and forced him into eye contact. "How many of your kind are in Atlantis?" Bending at the waist, Fred lowered himself until his face was scant inches from John's.

How many…?

Fred's words seemed to permeate every fiber of John's being. He heard them… saw them… felt them. Every part of him cried out, begging to answer, but John somehow found the strength to stop himself. Words… any words, pleaded to be heard, and John allowed a few. "Go to hell," he forced through clenched teeth.

Fred smiled. His gaze narrowed as he stared deeply into John's eyes. How many, human…?

John squeezed his eyes shut, groaning through clenched teeth. A hundred or so! Not many! Hardly any! Another hundred Athosians! His mind screamed… begged to be heard. John sucked in a ragged breath, hissing through his clenched teeth. He swallowed hard, pushing… forcing the words back inside himself. His eyes snapped open, sparking with raw determination. "NO!"

His strangled, but defiant voice angered Fred who snarled and pulled away. "I know you are Lantean…. Only they could resist my call." Fred waved at a nearby guard, who disappeared down the corridor. Once again, he bent over and stared deeply into John's eyes. "Tell me what I want to know… and I'll spare your companion." Fred tilted his head, a chilling smile parting his lips. "Resist me… and you will watch him die."

John stared evenly back. Deep inside him, indecision whispered. Does he mean it? He'll spare Cooper…? He pulled in a long breath, smothering his indecision. "You're lying," he growled.

Abruptly, Fred grabbed John by the hair, jerking his head back and forcing him to look up. "Then your companion dies today, human." He forcefully let go of John's head, pushing him back against the guard, before walking away.

John felt like someone had punched him in the gut. Panic and fear assaulted his control, but he held fast, managing to keep the waver from his voice. He shook his head and looked up at Fred. "Leave him alone. He doesn't know anything. I'm the only one who does."

Fred turned slowly and smiled. "That may be true, but your kind does not relish seeing each other suffer. Yet you did not tell me what I wanted to know, even when I fed upon your companion." He strode back to John and looked down at him with an eager expression. "That makes me want the answers even more. This time you will tell me… or you will watch me take all of your companion's years."

Anger swelled within John. He tensed, only to feel the painful grip of the guard's hands pushing down on his shoulders. Movement caught his eye, and he glanced to his left, his eyes closing in regret as the Wraith guard returned, dragging a half conscious Cooper with him.

Holding Cooper's arms, the Wraith guard stopped in the center of the room.

Without looking back, Fred questioned John again. "How many of you are in Atlantis?"

John felt physically ill as the anchor of optimism he'd clung to was squashed by the hard realism of what he faced. There was no escape. Within him, something snapped. Anger and frustration called to him and he fled down the path. "I'm going to kill you, you bastard," John spat.

"No…." Raspy and weak, Cooper's plea wasn't lost on John.

"Cooper," John softened his tone, "I…," his voice trailed off as words escaped him. A movement in the corner of his eye tore his gaze from Cooper. Startled, he barely had time to wince as Fred's hand impacted his face. The force of Fred's backhand drove him hard into the floor. Stunned, it took a moment before he could move. He grunted and looked up, watching through blurred vision as the female crossed to stand before Cooper.

She looked at Fred, who nodded back. Hissing, the female slammed her hand into Cooper's chest, while Fred turned and walked away.

Forcing himself to his hands and knees, John tried to rise… tried to get to Cooper. "NO!"

Fred descended on him, faster than John thought was possible. Grabbing the Major's face, he forced John to again make eye contact. At the same time, the guard grabbed John's arms, holding him fast.

"That is your fate, human! I will feed upon your strength and savor all of your years!" Brutally, Fred wrenched John's head around, forcing him to watch Cooper's torture.

Horrified, John watched Cooper's transformation unfold. Powerless… helpless… maybe for the first time in his life, he could do nothing as the female sucked the life from Cooper. Already grayed hair turned white… and a withered shell replaced the fit body of a 26-year-old corporal.

His eyes hazed with death, Cooper looked at John one last time.

The image burned itself instantly into John's head. As life fled from Cooper's eyes, John whispered, "I'm sorry."

The female pulled away, smiling in pleasure as Cooper's body dropped heavily to the floor. She sauntered by Fred, pausing long enough to hiss quietly at him, before she left the room.

John stared coldly at Fred, who walked slowly towards him. He felt his death approaching... and he was in no mood to avoid it. He'd told them nothing… and knew he'd die for it. In the back of his mind regret whispered to him. He regretted never seeing Atlantis again… leaving the expedition team without his support… never reconciling with his father. His heart raced, adrenaline coursing through him as he felt death inch closer and closer with each of Fred's steps. His breathing quickened as he stared hard at the approaching Wraith.

He raised his chin proudly, determined to face his death with the same bravery he'd seen in Cooper, but, instead of bringing death, Fred just hovered over him, staring callously at him.

Finally, the Wraith lord spoke. "Your strength runs deep, human. I will relish it… when I am ready." He waved at the guard and turned away.

John was numb, his mind not knowing how to handle what had just happened. Resigned to facing his death, rational thought had left him. Now that he'd escaped death, his mind didn't know what to do.

The guard pulled him to his feet and marched him down the hallway.

Slowly, then with increasing intensity, an instinct for survival formed within him. Primal... base, the sense spread through him, crushing every other emotion under it. Spared his death, he embraced living. Strength returned to fuel his resolve, and he channeled the power of his spite… his anger into living. It became the one and only focus he had... and at any expense, he was going to survive… if only to spite the Wraith.

----------------------------------

Elizabeth trotted down the Gateroom stairs, Zelenka right behind her, as Ford's team emerged from the wormhole.

"Elizabeth! We got it!" Rodney smiled broadly.

"You THINK you have it," Ford interjected.

Elizabeth paused. "What do you mean? I though you had it?"

"Ma'am, the DHD…."

"Yes, yes," Rodney waved both hands emphatically, completely ignoring Ford's glare at the interruption. "The short story is, the DHD was different than the Atlantis DHD, and mined several addresses instead of just one. I'm almost positive I've managed to isolate the correct address."

"How?" Zelenka interrupted.

"The power signatures are…." Rodney dropped both hands to his sides in exasperation. "Look, just take my word for it! I'll explain it to you sometime, but not now!"

Elizabeth stared hard at Rodney for a moment before nodding slightly. "Okay."

"Ma'am, request permission to organize a rescue team," Ford added hastily.

Elizabeth raised her hand as she quickly studied the expressions on each of their faces. Relief mixed with urgency as both of them fidgeted slightly. "Hold on, Lieutenant." She tapped the earpiece on her radio lightly. "Bates, this is Weir. Report to the control tower. Ford's team has returned from M27-194."

"Yes, ma'am," Bates responded almost immediately.

Elizabeth looked back as Rodney stuck his hand inside his vest and quickly produced a small piece of paper. He grinned triumphantly. "Here."

Elizabeth smiled and took the proffered paper, her eyes scanning the seven chevrons of the underlined address. "I hope you're right, Rodney."

His typical fidgeting disappeared. He stared hard at her. "I am."

Her smile faded slightly as she stared at him for a minute, before nodding silently. She looked up as two soldiers emerged through the gate, carrying a shrouded body between them. "Bower?" she asked quietly

"Yes, ma'am," Ford responded, his voice equally as low.

Elizabeth sighed, and looked up at the two soldiers carrying the dead sergeant. "See that he's taken care of."

Both men nodded and slowly carried Bower from the room.

Elizabeth watched them go. Isolated in the Pegasus galaxy, the expedition team was almost an extended family, and the loss of each team member affected everyone. She shook her head…. It never got easier.

She turned and started up the stairs, Rodney right next to her, Ford, Teyla and Stackhouse only a step behind. Her grip tightened on the piece of paper. Hope re-kindled within her, but she was still guarded, careful to not let her hopes soar too high. What if the address was wrong? She turned away from the thought, latching onto Rodney's confidence. They had a chance to rescue their people… if they were still alive.

"Ma'am." Ford's reserved voice interrupted her thoughts.

She glanced at the young soldier. "Lieutenant?"

"Ma'am, assuming the address is correct…."

"I told you, Ford…," Rodney interjected.

Ford raised his voice over Rodney's protest. "We need to mount a rescue mission ASAP. It's been three days. The Major and Cooper could be in serious trouble if they're even…." Ford caught himself and took a deep breath before continuing, "We need to get to them as quickly as possible."

Elizabeth continued up the stairs, all the while fighting her own subconscious reaction to Ford's words… or rather to what he didn't say. She could be sending more people into danger when Major Sheppard and Corporal Cooper might not even be alive. But John would do it for any of them… so she would do the same.

"So what are you going to do, Ford? Charge in blind, guns blazing?" Rodney retorted, his voice decidedly annoyed.

"You know something McKay?" Ford's tone was tense, "You really…."

"Gentlemen," Elizabeth interrupted firmly. "Let's stay focused." She continued up the stairs and entered the control room.

"Right," Rodney answered tersely.

"Yes, ma'am." Ford's voice was equally short.

Elizabeth nodded once. "Dr. Zelenka," she turned her attention to the Czech doctor, "ready a MALP for off-world recon." She handed the piece of paper with the gate address to Grodin. "Peter, be ready to dial this address when the MALP is ready."

Resting her hands on the balcony railing, Elizabeth stared down at the inactive gate, watching as Zelenka positioned a MALP and quickly tested its systems. She could feel the others standing behind her, but she said nothing. What could she say? They had no idea what the MALP was going to find and, because of that, she couldn't promise them what they wanted: reassurance that they were going to get a chance to mount a rescue mission.

She glanced over her shoulder as Bates came up next to her.

"Ma'am, I'm ready to mobilize a team on your word."

Had the situation not been so grim, Elizabeth would've smiled at Bates' reaction… on the heels of a very similar one from Ford. She briefly thought back to Teyla's words, the last time they'd all met.

The Major is more than their commanding officer, Dr. Weir. He is their leader, and one is different from the other. They do not only follow him because he outranks them, but because he leads them.

Elizabeth did allow herself a slight smile. John Sheppard was a natural-born leader. She'd recognized it the first time that she'd talked to him. Even Bates, who butted heads with John more often than not, was ready to risk his life in a rescue. That kind of loyalty had very little to do with rank… it was earned.

"Ma'am?" Bates asked again.

Snapped from her musing, Elizabeth graced him with a small smile, while keeping a strong and assertive expression on her face. "That's good to know, Sergeant. " She looked back down at the Gateroom as Zelenka waved to her, his voice coming across her radio.

"Dr. Weir? The MALP is ready."

"Thank you, Radek." She turned and walked back into the control room. "Dial it up, Peter." She sat down at one of the consoles in front of a laptop.

Rodney grabbed another laptop and typed a series of commands. He gazed at the diagnostic screen intently. "MALP is en route." Tapping another set of keys, he nodded. "MALP has arrived, receiving telemetry now." He paused, taking a moment to digest the readings. "Atmosphere is breathable," he sighed. "At least the gate is on the planet this time."

"What's immediately around the gate?" Bates asked, peering over Elizabeth's shoulder.

Rodney tapped a few more keys. "Nothing so far, no sign of Wraith. They probably don't patrol the gate anyway. Let me rotate the camera."

"Why wouldn't they?" Stackhouse wondered out loud, earning himself an irritated look from Rodney.

"Sergeant, how many people do you know are willing go to a Wraith-dominated planet?"

Stackhouse stared evenly back and smiled mischievously. "I see at least three in this room."

"Sergeant…." Rodney's voice rose in timbre.

Elizabeth headed off his retort with a well-placed nod at the laptop in front of him. "The MALP?"

Rodney returned his attention to the laptop. "Camera rotation is 360 degrees and nothing. There's no sign of activity in the immediate area. Planet looks pretty desolate though."

"You expected the Garden of Eden on what could be a Wraith-dominated world, McKay?" Grodin piped in.

"Very funny, Peter," Rodney shot back. "What is this? Pick on McKay day?"

"Every day is a holiday in Atlantis," Ford answered, smiling slightly.

For a moment, the tension in the room eased slightly, as each one of them smiled at the good-natured barbs… except Rodney.

"Fine," he snapped.

"Any indication this is the right planet?" Elizabeth asked, hesitantly.

Stifling his annoyance, Rodney punched a few keys on the laptop. "MALP is detecting an energy source about a half mile from the gate. It could be a dormant hive ship. There's no way to be sure."

"Any way to focus the MALP's camera on it?" Bates asked.

Again, Rodney typed a few keys and shook his head. "Can't. The vegetation is too thick."

"I thought you said it was desolate?" Ford questioned.

"It is, Ford. The trees are dead or dying, but still standing! Sounds pretty desolate to me!" Rodney glared at the Lieutenant.

"Gentlemen," Elizabeth interrupted. "Conference room." She stood. "Peter, shut down the gate. Rodney, bring the MALP data with you. Let's talk about this." She entered the conference room and took a seat on the far side of the table. She sat quietly as the rest of the group filed in and the doors slowly closed behind them.

-------------------------------------

John looked around the empty cell as the guards closed the bars and walked away. It was the same cell he'd left not long ago, but it felt larger… emptier. Gritting his teeth and shaking his head, he paced.

Back and forth across the cell, he stalked, his hands balled into fists and rapid breaths hissing in and out through his clenched teeth, as he tried to master his emotions.

He'd watched Cooper die.

Powerless… helpless to do anything, he'd watched the Wraith suck all the life from the young corporal. John had looked into Cooper's eyes as he'd died….

The image clung to John… unrelenting and filling his mind.

How many times was enough? Was too much? He'd watched Sumner die… and now Cooper. John gave up fighting against his anger as he seethed at the frustration of it all. How many times would he look into the dying eyes of his comrades, knowing that there was nothing he could do to save them?

He growled as he turned and started stalking across the cell again. At least he'd been able to end Sumner's suffering. With Cooper all he could do was watch… watch, as Cooper died a slow and agonizing death.

So many emotions coursed through him… over him… consumed him, that he was helpless to control any of them, and that only fueled his anger. From deep inside him, three days' worth of hate and helplessness surged to the surface, ripping a hoarse shout from him.

His wordless, unintelligible scream echoed off the walls around him. It was frustrated, yet a note of rebellion rang true. Part of him screamed his defiance to the Wraith.

Strangled by lack of air, his shout faded away as he stood in the center of his cell; his chest heaving in exertion. Oddly, as he caught his breath, he felt more in control. A channel for his pent up emotions, the shout had been peculiarly therapeutic and he shook his head at the oddity.

"Should've done that a long time ago," he muttered, his words bringing out a small, ironic smile, in spite of his situation. He looked around, taking stock of his condition.

There was nothing now to stop the Wraith from killing him… and his survival instinct took over, responding to the imminent threat. At best, he guessed he had a half-day before they'd come for him…. At worst, only a few hours. Somehow he'd have to escape… and he'd have to do it quick.

Small at first, but ever growing, guilt weaseled its way into his thoughts. Without Cooper, his chances were better. He shook his head, immediately dismissing the thought, but the logical and pragmatic thought stuck with him. He didn't have to worry about a defenseless, injured man any more, and that freed him up to escape. Silently, insistently, guilt followed behind him… but he refused to face it. He couldn't, and he wouldn't. Now wasn't the time. Channeling his thoughts and energies into escaping, he pushed away the guilt.

But, deep inside him, it remained.

-------------------------------------

Elizabeth glanced around at the five expectant faces looking back at her. She sighed quietly. "First, well done, Rodney." She smiled at the Canadian doctor, who nodded slightly.

"Ma'am, " Ford started, "about the rescue mission…?"

"Lieutenant," Elizabeth interrupted, "you need to know that if there is a chance for a rescue mission to be successful, I will authorize one. But we need to be careful about this. I won't act rashly, or give into impatience, is that clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," Ford responded quietly.

She nodded before glancing around the room. "I want options on how to handle this."

"Ma'am," Bates immediately responded, "I recommend a small, heavily-armed team. We sneak in. If the Major and Cooper are there, we rescue them, and sneak out. Hopefully, undetected."

"We don't know if the energy source the MALP is detecting is where the Major and Cooper are, Sergeant," Elizabeth contradicted quietly.

"It's pretty likely," Rodney answered. "As far as we could tell, the planet was uninhabited. The energy source the MALP detected is significant, probably a dormant hive ship. I'll have a better idea once I get to the planet and can scan the source directly."

Elizabeth glanced at Bates, before looking back to Rodney, whose attention was fixed on the laptop's display.

"Who said you were going?" Bates' voice was uncompromising.

Rodney looked up, puzzled. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Rodney," Elizabeth started quietly, "this is a military matter."

Rodney's expression turned immediately defensive. "You can't be serious! You need me! What are you going to do? Blast your way through every door you find? Yeah, that's really subtle! The Wraith will never notice you detonating C4! You need me to get in and out of there quietly! You have no idea what you're facing! You need me to solve all the problems we can't even guess at yet!"

"Rodney!" Elizabeth snapped, silencing him. "We get the point." She looked away and sighed before gazing once more at him. "This could be dangerous."

"And facing the Genii two different times wasn't? Sneaking onto a Wraith ship for intel wasn't?" Rodney leaned back in his chair and stared at her, his expression determined. "You need me on this mission."

Elizabeth glanced at Ford, who nodded slightly. "Okay," she said finally, "you're right, we do."

"Like I was saying," Rodney continued, his voice calmer, "the strong energy source probably is where Sheppard and Cooper are being held. I'll make a better determination when I get to the planet."

"Lieutenant," Elizabeth turned her attention to Ford, "what do you think?"

Ford swiveled back and forth in his chair. "Ma'am, I think Bates is right. A small, covert team stands the best chance. With any luck, if it is a hive ship, most of the Wraith are still hibernating."

"And if they're not?" She stared hard at Ford.

"Then it could get a little… hairy," Ford answered cautiously. "But that's a risk we're going to have to take."

She sighed. She leaned forward and rested her arms on the table, her gaze distant, as she weighed their options. There were so many unknowns. What was the location of the two missing men? How many Wraith would they face? Were their people even alive? Was it even the right planet in the first place?

But that's a risk we're going to have to take.

Ford's words haunted her. There were so many risks… so many uncertainties. She shook her head. They had to try. They had a chance to rescue Major Sheppard and Corporal Cooper… and sometimes a chance was all that was needed. She looked up… and into the expectant faces of everyone in the room. "Okay," she agreed quietly. She looked at Ford. "You have a go. Get your team ready and assembled in the Gateroom."

"Ma'am." Ford stood immediately, and exited the room, Rodney, Stackhouse and Teyla right behind him.

"Ma'am…?" Bates voice trailed off at Elizabeth's raised hand.

"No, Sergeant. You need to stay here. If they don't…." She sighed. "I need an experienced officer to stay behind." She glanced at Bates, whose eyes were fixed on the retreating backs of Ford, Stackhouse, Teyla and Rodney.

After a moment, he nodded and looked over at her. "Yes, ma'am." He stalked out of the conference room, leaving Elizabeth alone with her thoughts.

She slowly walked around the table, her fingertips brushing over it's polished surface. Once again, she'd ordered some of her people into a dangerous situation… people she was supposed to protect… to look out for. All right, yes, they wanted to go… but she still could've said no.

Or could she?

She sighed. Not exactly what she'd expected when she'd agreed to lead this expedition… but, then again, it had been a bold step into the unknown. Pausing in the doorway, she stared at the apex of the inactive Stargate just peeking over the top of the command deck railing. From the first time she'd laid eyes on a 'gate, she'd come to know that the unexpected was to be expected when it came to Ancient devices. She briefly closed her eyes, and prayed she'd made the right decision.

------------------------------

Sergeant Bates stared down at the assembled rescue team, his expression more sour than usual. Standing there, doing nothing… staying behind while Ford and the others charged into danger to try and rescue John and Cooper, frustrated him.

His thoughts lingered on John. Ever since Colonel Sumner had told him about the major, he'd been wary of him. His entire career, Bates had prided himself in always going by the book… being a model soldier. It was a trait that had served him well… and had caught the eye of Colonel Sumner when the Atlantis expedition was being formed. Assigned to SG-5, Bates had extensive off-world experience, and, as anyone who had served with him would attest, he had a cool head in any situation. But, from the first time Bates even talked to John, Bates found that he just couldn't relate to him. In irritation, Bates decided he didn't even want to try. He'd had enough of that with his delinquent older brother… putting up with people he couldn't relate with was a concept he was all too familiar with.

His expression turned wistful as his thoughts switched to his little brother back on Earth. More than once since arriving in Atlantis, he wondered if he'd ever see him again… ever be able to take him to a Lakers game… get to see him grow up.

He shook off the thought and focused again on the rescue team. Once again, he was left standing on Atlantis as someone else went into danger. It was a habit that was becoming disturbingly common since he'd been given the position of Chief of Security. His gaze narrowed as he realized his frustration ran deeper than just being left behind. He wanted to be on that team. Not just because he was a soldier and this was what he was supposed to be doing, but because he wanted to be part of the attempt to rescue John.

He shook his head at the irony, a half smile pulling at one side of his mouth. The Major. He was arrogant, unorthodox, completely lacking in protocol, headstrong….

…and one of the best soldiers Bates had ever served with.

The thought no longer surprised him… although at first, he had been dumbfounded by that realization… even if he never once showed it. Carefully, reserved, he'd watched John in the months since Sumner had died, and grudgingly admitted that, given the situation, John had done a fair job running the military contingent on Atlantis. Bates had come to realize that for all his unorthodox habits, the major was a damn good soldier. He ran a tight ship when he needed to, even if he hid it under shattered protocols and sometimes-flippant remarks. Deep inside the major, intense loyalty, integrity and personal standards remained strong. Once he realized that, Bates found it was something they had. Did he agree with John's ways? Hell no, and he realized he probably never would. They were cut from different cloth. But, through watching him, Bates had found they had a surprising number of core values in common… and that was something he found he could respect.

He watched as the Stargate engaged, and Ford's team disappeared through the event horizon. He sighed deeply, his fingers drumming on the railing. The next time that wormhole engaged, Ford had better bring John back.

---------------------------------------

John paced.

Hours had passed, yet the Wraith had not come back. He paused in front of the entrance to his cell and banged his fist on the bars in frustration. Everything. Every idea, every thought, every inspiration had failed. If there was a way to escape the cell, he couldn't find it… and the thought grated on him, intensifying his frustration. Movement caught his eye and he pulled in a deep breath as, once again, three guards and the male Wraith stalked down the long corridor towards him.

Parting the bars of the cell, the Wraith male sneered at him. "You will come with me."

John stared evenly back. What the hell did he have to lose? "No." His voice was quiet but assertive.

The wraith snarled and struck him hard in the chest, sending him reeling backwards.

He flailed his arms to no avail as he slammed into the wall. The impact stole his breath as he crumpled to the floor. Noisily, he forced air back into his lungs and looked up. Before he could react, two guards grabbed him and hauled him to his feet.

Nose to nose with the male, he mustered as much hatred and strength he could find. "Is that the best you can do?" he croaked.

The male smiled. "The Master tires of these games, human. That was only a taste of what is to come."

Once again, John found himself being roughly hauled from the cell and down the long hallway to meet with Fred. This time there was no leverage… no injured soldier under John's command to protect. It was just him and Fred. A coldness crept into John's gut as he felt his death approaching. There was no reason this time… no excuse for Fred to let John live… and he knew it. Oddly, he was calm, and he wondered if part of him didn't believe he was about to die. He immediately rejected the idea. He knew he was going to die. There was no escape.

Despite the guard's strong grip and rough treatment, he still lifted his head proudly and met Fred's gaze as they entered the large room once again. He stared at Fred defiantly… challenging. He would meet his death with strength, and no damned Wraith would break his will. He remained motionless as the guard released him and walked away. He briefly glanced at two other guards and the stunners they pointed directly at him. He stood his ground.

As if he read his mind, Fred grabbed a stunner from the nearest guard and pointed it at John. "You will tell me of Atlantis."

"Go to hell," John spat, his gaze unwavering.

Fred snarled and fired the stunner.

John bit back a cry of pain as agony swept through him. His whole body clenched and his breath caught in his throat as he staggered… remaining on his feet only by a sheer act of willpower.

After a long moment, the pain passed and John released his pent up breath in a loud gasp. Sweat tickled his brow. Panting slightly, he opened his eyes and once more locked gazes with Fred.

Fred glanced at his stunner and made a small adjustment, before once more staring at John. "Tell me how many people are on Atlantis."

"No." John whispered, his gaze never wavering.

Fred fired again.

This time, no amount of willpower could keep John on his feet… or stop the strangled cry that escaped his throat. Hearing his cry echo around him, he clenched his fists, and fell to his knees, his head falling back as pain shot through him. Worse than before, the agony tore another cry from him.

Again it passed… and again John met Fred's gaze. He slowly stood, sweat trickling down his face and his chest heaving. A small part of him panicked as he watched Fred once again adjust the settings on the stunner, but he stood his ground.

"What are Atlantis' defensive capabilities?" Fred pointed the stunner at John.

"I'm not telling you a damn thing, Fred." John smothered the twist of panic in his gut with steeled control. "So why don't you just feed on me and get it over with?"

Fred's smile sent a chill through John. "Because, human, I will break your spirit first… then I will consume your life." He fired again.

Powerless against the agony that gripped him, John again heard the echoes of his own cry as his knees buckled and he fell heavily to the floor. Prone, the pain crippled him, ravaged him… tortured him. His eyes wide and breath stolen, he was helpless to do anything but writhe under the merciless assault by the stun blast. Through blurred vision, he saw Fred advance on him, and fire again.

Caught in the web of his own torment, he couldn't think… couldn't see… couldn't breathe. He thrashed madly, his out of control body desperately trying to escape the pain… the bliss of oblivion called to him, but something kept him from it… stopping him… pulling him away from unconsciousness' warm embrace. He was trapped in a conscious state of torment. For what seemed like an eternity, the agony clung to him, tortured him, tried to break him.

Finally ebbing, the pain began to fade, and he fought back through the haze of primal emotions and forced himself to find his wits. He opened his eyes and looked directly up into Fred's gaze.

"Tell me anything... and I will spare you."

John swallowed hard, his mind scrambling to control the primitive fear that screamed in panic to him. He couldn't handle the pain again… and that primal part of him begged him to do anything to avoid being stunned once more. He swallowed hard and pulled in a ragged breath. Desperation flowed through him, overpowering any rational thought, leaving his logic in its wake. He'd tried compromising… bluffing before, and it hadn't worked, but right now, he didn't care. His whole being shouted its need to make the pain go away… and not to come back – John finally realized the meaning of his POW training. Fred was trying to break him… but he fought back. "There's… a race…. They have a way… to destroy all your ships… at once…." He panted heavily, and bit back any details. As strong as it was, desperation could not overcome his core values… and he wouldn't sell out anyone to the Wraith. Not even the Genii. "We… we have the technology. They have the means… we… we will destroy you." Small at first, but growing in intensity, pride welled within him. It was a bluff, and there was no way the Genii plan could work… but Fred didn't know that.

Fred stared intently at John. "That is not possible. No humans can destroy us." His gaze narrowed. "Who are they?"

John pulled on all the strength he had and kept his voice even. "You scratch my back, I scratch yours." He smiled humorlessly, knowing he had nothing to lose. "I gave you something, now back off."

Fred's lips parted slowly into a sneer, his dark, piercing eyes locked on John's hazel ones. "I lied. I will break you. And when I do, you will tell me all I want to know."

Even with all the strength he could muster, John was barely able to contain his primal fear as he fought to keep his voice steady. "Then I'm not telling you jack shit, Fred." His lips curled back in his own version of a sneer. "We're done talking."

Fred lifted the stunner and abruptly paused… his gaze becoming distant, as if someone was talking to him. His eyes widened, and he hissed before turning and stalking across the room. Several feet away, he paused, turned and looked back at John. "We will continue this later."

John's body felt like lead weights were tied to him. He hardly moved as two guards pulled him to his feet and half carried, half shoved him down the corridor to his cell. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, fear whispered to him. In a moment of mental clarity, John wondered which would be worse, another session with the stunner… or to be fed upon and die.

He barely caught himself as the guards threw him into his cell. As they left, he forced himself to his feet and slowly walked around his cell, knowing that any activity, however small, would help him over the effects of the stun blasts that much faster… while he wondered when they'd come for him again. He swallowed hard, not knowing if the next time he'd be able to resist. It grated at him. The fear… the weakness he felt, insulted him. He turned away from it. It was human, and normal, but was something he refused to tolerate in himself.

---------------------------------------

You don't leave people behind.

The words repeated in his head as Rodney looked around the desolate planet. He slowly pulled out his LSD and pressed a couple buttons, squinting at the readings.

"McKay?" His eyes continuing to scan the area around them, Ford slowly backed up from his position and stopped next to Rodney.

"That way." Rodney pointed straight ahead, towards the scrubby trees in the distance.

Ford nodded once, curtly. He turned to Stackhouse. "Sergeant, you and Conner have gate duty. Maintain radio silence unless you get two clicks from me."

"Sir," Stackhouse nodded. Never lowering his gun, he positioned himself next to the DHD.

Ford turned in the general direction Rodney had indicated. "McKay, fall in behind me and tell me where to go. Teyla, take our six." He started through the scrub brush and headed towards the trees.

Rodney alternated his attention between the LSD and his surroundings, trying to ignore the knot in his gut. A small part of himself chastised himself for insisting on being here in the first place.

You've changed, Rodney.

Rodney felt the pang of regret as he remembered Brendan Gaul. The young prodigy had been right… although, at the time, Rodney would never have admitted it. Brushing casually against his thighs, the P-90 he carried only reminded him just how much he'd changed. A year ago, he'd have laughed in the face of anyone who said he'd be carrying an automatic weapon and charging off to hostile planets on rescue missions. Yet here he was. Never mind that had their positions been reversed, John would've been doing the same thing. Rodney shook his head. Being isolated in the Pegasus galaxy had forced him to really see what was important… and that had changed him in ways he'd never imagined.

He latched onto his confidence… confidence sparked by his time on John's team. In the past, his arrogance had been a mask for his insecurity. All his life, a small part of him had doubted if he was right, or good enough, or would fit. Yet, he realized with a start, even though he might be wrong about this planet, he wasn't plagued with insecurity. John had given him that.

He smiled slightly. In hindsight, he wondered if John had seen through his practiced confidence. John had never said anything, but then again, that was the major's style. Rodney shook off his thoughts and concentrated on the LSD. Getting them lost definitely would not be a good thing. "Bear left ten degrees, Ford," he whispered.

"Ten degrees from what?" the Lieutentan whispered back.

Rodney sighed. "From your current heading. Look, just go left until I tell you otherwise." He followed behind Ford, nodding to himself at the LSD display. "Okay, good, now just keep walking."

They continued meandering their way through the trees, Rodney occasionally giving directional changes to Ford as they closed in on the power source. Before long, they reached the edge of the tree line.

"That's it, "Rodney nodded, his gaze alternating between the LSD and the grounded hive ship. He sighed. Despite the dangerous situation, part of him was relieved. "This has to be the right planet."

Ford squatted, waving at Rodney and Teyla to do the same. He pulled out his binoculars and scanned the area. "I don't see any movement. Maybe they're still hibernating."

"It is likely," Teyla nodded in agreement.

"What are you picking up, McKay?" Ford asked.

"Sporadic life forms scattered all over the ship. There's either very few Wraith on that ship, or Teyla's righ and most of them are still asleep."

"Any idea where the Major and Cooper are being held?" Ford lowered his binoculars and glanced at Rodney.

"Nothing I can tell from here."

Ford nodded. "Okay, let's go." Staying crouched, he cautiously moved forward, leading the other two towards the ship.

--------------------------------------------

Time passed, and yet John still paced. As the hours lengthened, he found himself increasingly torn between his intelligence and logic and his primal instincts and base fear that wanted, more than anything, to escape the pain of another stun blast by whatever means necessary. His fear whispered seductively at him to tell the Wraith what they wanted to know… anything to avoid being shot again….

He growled and ran a hand through his hair. Like hell he'd tell them anything. Abruptly, his vision swam, and he had to grab the bars of his cell, just to keep from falling over. Leaning heavily on his hands, his head dropped as he took several deep breaths. Fatigue washed over him… draining him, as the physical needs of his body finally demanded his attention.

Lethargic, he slowly turned and staggered across the cell, his steps heavy and uneven. Exhausted and battered, he leaned against the wall and sank to the floor. He slowly stretched his legs out in front of him, letting his head lolled back, fatigue spreading through him, drowning out any thoughts or feelings in its necessity. For 72 hours, John had fought mentally and physically against the Wraith. At last, his body had reached the end of its endurance. In the face of such a base need, even his willpower was helpless. His eyes slid shut.

"You let me die!"

John turned, shocked as Cooper crossed the control room towards him.

"You let me die!"

"No! I… couldn't save you!" John shook his head. "Cooper! I tried! There wasn't anything I could do."

"You let me die!"

"No!"

"Major…."

John looked around, trying to identify the voice.

"Major!"

Louder now, the voice was familiar and demanded his attention.

"Major!"

John's eyes snapped open and he inhaled sharply. For a moment he existed in two places, lingering between his dream world and reality.

"Major!" the voice hissed again.

John slowly turned his head towards the voice… and looked directly into the eyes of Lieutenant Ford. John's mind rebelled, not believing what his eyes were seeing. He blinked hard and looked again… and Ford was still standing there, staring intently. "Ford?" he whispered hesitantly.

"Yes, sir. It's me. We're going to get you out."

Shaking the cobwebs from his mind, John pulled his legs under himself and slowly rose. For a moment, he just stood there, staring, as he tried to convince himself that his team really was here. His gaze flicked to Rodney, who was busy messing with the door controls. He looked at Teyla, who nodded back at him.

Realization dawned on him, forcing away his disbelief. Hope returned as he slowly crossed the cell. "How the hell did you find me?"

Ford smiled and nodded his head towards Rodney. "McKay. He figured out how to pull the last dialed address from M27-194's DHD."

"It was inspired really," Rodney interjected, pausing in his attention to the door. "There were several address but…."

"Rodney," Ford interrupted. "The door?"

Rodney looked back at the control panel. "Right." He continued fiddling with the circuitry.

A hollow smile at Rodney's typical behavior briefly flashed across John's face. He swallowed hard, wincing at his raspy throat. "Water?"

Ford nodded and reached behind his back, pulling his water flask loose and handing it through the bars to John.

John quickly unscrewed the lid and lifted the flask, forcing himself to drink one swallow at a time… and slowly, giving his dehydrated body a chance to adjust.

"Sir, Cooper?" Ford inquired.

Instantly, overwhelming guilt crushed John's small kernel of happiness at being rescued and his scattered pieces of relief that he might yet survive. He bowed his head, a deep frown creasing his features. "He… didn't make it." From the corner of his eye, he saw Ford's shoulders sag… and felt all the more guilty for it.

"Yes, sir."

John took another sip of water, before passing the flask back to Ford.

"Ah!" Rodney exclaimed quietly as he pressed several keys on the LSD.

Abruptly, the bars parted, giving John enough room to squeeze out of the cell.

------------

Rodney smiled in satisfaction as he disconnected his tools from the Wraith circuitry. He slipped them into his vest pocket, turned around…and looked right into John's eyes.

John's hands immediately settled on Rodney's P-90. Rodney glanced down at the scratched and battered fingers, before once more meeting John's gaze. Bloodshot, and underlined with swelling from lack of sleep and water, John's eyes were nonetheless sharp.

Rodney slowly grabbed the gun below John's grip and studied his expression. Beyond the physical strain, there was a hardness… a darkness radiating from their hazel depths that sent an involuntary chill through Rodney.

"Give me the P-90." John's voice was quiet but commanding.

Rodney hesitated, not really sure what to make of what he saw in the Major. He glanced at Ford, whose expression was also worried.

"Now, McKay." John's voice rose slightly in tone.

Not entirely convinced, Rodney still unclipped the gun from his vest and surrendered it to John. "Right."

John quickly and expertly checked the load and paused, his distant gaze fixed on the P-90.

Rodney watched him, looking back and forth between his expression and his white knuckled hands, shaking slightly as his grip continued to tighten.

John looked up at Rodney, and the doctor felt himself pale under his gaze.

Anger and frustration intensified John's expression to a point Rodney had never witnessed. After a moment, John looked away, his demeanor settling. He pulled in a deep breath, his hands stilling. Then he looked back at Rodney. "Which way?"

Rodney pointed down the hallway while he tapped a few keys on the LSD. "That way."

------------------------------------------

John followed along behind Ford, his grip tight on the P-90. Finally… after three days… he again had the power to help himself… and the means to protect himself and his team. He wasn't helpless. Adrenaline surged through him, driving away fatigue and sharpening his senses. He felt hope… optimistic that maybe they'd escape.

But from the recesses of his mind, guilt lingered... whispering to him. Cooper….

He turned away from his guilt. He was alive… he had a chance to escape….

Cooper never had that chance.

John clenched his teeth, forcing his thoughts away from remorse, the immediacy of their situation providing his mind with an escape route. Now was not the time for him to think about those things.

He moved forward to walk side by side with Ford. "Update me, Lieutenant," he whispered as they slowly walked along.

"The gate is about a half mile from here, sir, through pretty thick trees. We had to walk in, no puddle jumper. Stackhouse and Conner are waiting for us at the gate."

John nodded. "Good. Okay we…."

"Major!" Rodney hissed, "there's two Wraith…," his voice trailed off as they rounded a corner and all but ran into two Wraith guards.

Instinctively, John fired, dropping one of the guards.

Ford immediately knelt and fired upon the other one, killing the Wraith instantly.

"Right around the corner," Rodney muttered, finishing his thought.

John looked around as the eerie screech of an alarm sounded. "That's it, we need to get out of here, now!" He looked expectantly at Rodney, who nodded and pointed down a long corridor. "That way!"

Side by side with Ford, John quickly trotted down the hallway, Teyla and Rodney hot on his heels.

John ran next to Ford, his intense eyes darting around, alert for any Wraith. He reached an intersection and stopped.

"McKay?" His voice was questioning.

Rodney turned in a circle, his gaze fixed on the LSD. After a moment, he pointed to the lefthand hallway. "This way!"

This time, Ford took lead ahead of John, but only barely.

They rounded another corner and were abruptly met by stunner fire. John reached out a steadying hand as Ford jumped back into him, barely avoiding a stunner blast.

"Crap!" Ford fired off a few shots before John pulled him back behind cover, and then knelt and returned fire around the corner.

John looked about, taking in the lay of the hallway. "Lieutenant? There's a spot on the other side of the hall. Cover me."

Ford nodded slightly. "Yes, sir."

John glanced at Teyla and Rodney. "Rodney, watch behind us. Teyla take my place." Without waiting for a response, John turned back and took a deep breath. "Now, Ford!"

As Ford sprayed the hallway with gunfire, John sprinted across the open space and flattened himself against the opposite wall. Peeking around the small outcropping that provided him with shallow cover, he fired several rounds into a Wraith guard, who fell motionless to the floor. His eyes widened as two other Wraith stared back at him. One was a guard, but the other….

John felt as if someone had punched him in the gut as he stared into the dark eyes of Fred.

Standing behind the guard for cover, Fred snarled loudly and pointed.

"Sir!" Ford's strangled cry grabbed John's attention. His body rigid and shaking, Ford dropped his gun and staggered out into the open.

Tearing his gaze from the Lieutentant, John sought out Teyla. "Shoot it!" he ordered. He turned back and opened fire on the guard himself, the combination of his shots and Teyla's dropping it.

He stepped out in the open and continued firing, his bullets propelling Fred backwards and to the ground.

Teyla and Rodney dashed out and grabbed Ford's arms as he staggered, released from Fred's control. Passing them, John sprinted down the hall to the fallen Wraith. Holding his gun close, he stared down the sights at Fred, who glared back at him.

Rage flowed freely through John. The image of Cooper dying filled his memory…fueled his anger. His face twitched, spite clouding his thoughts… and hampering his judgment.

"Kill me, human," Fred hissed. "Kill me now."

Somewhere in the back of his mind, a rational voice shouted at John. Don't make the same mistake! Don't kill him! You'll wake them all! But his rage smothered it.

"Major, no!" Rodney stopped next to him.

His trigger finger shaking, John stared down at the wounded Wraith lord. Cooper's tortured screams echoed in his head, drowning out Rodney's words.

"Kill me, human," Fred hissed. "The others will see to your demise. We will prey upon our home feeding grounds... then we will come for you."

"Major! Don't!" Rodney insisted. "It's just what he wants!"

Rage surged through John. "Damn it, McKay!" he all but spat the words out., "He killed Cooper and Bower!"

"That doesn't give you license to condemn this entire sector! We're talking millions of lives here!" Rodney countered hotly.

John fixed an angered glare on Rodney, but the doctor's intense gaze was unwavering.

"Dr. McKay is right, Major," Teyla reasoned quietly from behind him.

Out of the corner of his eye, Johncould see Ford nodding in agreement.

He tore his gaze from Rodney and gave a look of death to Fred. Unfairness cramped his gut, as deep down, he knew they were right. His hands shook, rage... helplessness... frustration threatening to overwhelm him. "Son of a…," he whispered through clenched teeth.

In one fluid motion, he lowered his gun, and trotted down the hallway thaty Rodney had indicated led outside . Had he looked back, he would have seen the worried looks the other three exchanged before they quickly followed after him. Instead, he fixed his gaze on the corridor ahead of him, and forced himself to focus on escaping. He knew Rodney was right. Leaving Fred alive was the smart thing to do… but it didn't feel that way.Deep in his mind, he carried the guilt of Cooper's death… Gaul's … Abram's… Sumner's. He had promised himself that some day he'd atone for their deaths, and yet, when that chance had presented itself, he'd let it pass. Let Fred go… let Cooper's death go unpunished. The dead cried out their injustice to him, and all the rationalizations in the world didn't silence them.

"Major!"

Rodney's urgent voice stopped JohnHe looked back. "What?" He glanced at the LSD, his eyes widening at a group of dots moving their direction from an intersecting hallway. He looked around, quickly taking in their surroundings. He pointed to a small outcropping, just around the corner from their position. "Ford, take position there. Fire as soon as you see them. McKay, Teyla, you're with me." He backed down a narrow hallway, opposite Ford's position, and perpendicular to the approaching Wraith.

John lifted his gun as Teyla knelt just in front of him, providing him with a clean line of fire.

The Wraith had no time to react. The instant they rounded the corner, Ford, Teyla andJohn opened fire, ambushing them. It was over in a matter of seconds.

"McKay?" John glanced back.

"Exit is down the corridor to your right, Major," Rodney immediately responded.

John led the way past the dead Wraith and, before long, they exited the ship into the dark, night-time air.

"This way, sir." Ford took point, leading the team across a vast clearing and back into the trees.

John abruptly looked up, his sight blocked by thick, twisted branches as an all-too-familiar screeching sound passed over them. "Darts," he muttered.

Ford glanced back. "Yes, sir sounds like it. They won't be able to locate us as long as we're in the trees."

"Doesn't matter," John shook his head, "they know we're headed for the Gate. There's nowhere else to go." His eyes fixed on Ford's radio as it abruptly clicked twice.

Ford immediately reached for the call button, his hand stopped by John's. Nodding, Ford pulled the radio from his vest pocket and handed it to him.

"Go ahead, Sergeant," John responded.

"Major?" Stackhouse's voice sounded relieved,."It's good to hear your voice."

John smiled slightly at Stackhouse's distraction. "It's good to be heard, Sergeant. Now, report."

"Yes sir," Stackhouse responded. "Conner and I have taken cover near the gate. I don't think we've been spotted by the Darts yet, but they're definitely searching the area for you."

"I know, we hear them, but they can't spot us in the trees. How far from the DHD are you?" John waved Ford on as they once more made their way through the thick trees.

"About 25 feet, sir. Conner and I are hunkered down in some bushes. As long as the Wraith don't come in on foot, we shouldn't be spotted."

John sighed. "Stand by." He stopped and looked at Ford. "As soon as we activate the gate, the Wraith aren't going to give us much time to get away."

Ford nodded. "We need to meet up with Stackhouse and Conner and then all go through together."

"Yep." John once again clicked the radio call button. "Sergeant, stay put, we're on our way to you right now. When we're close to your position, I'll radio you again."

"Yes, sir," Stackhouse responded.

John lifted his P-90 and stared off into the woods. "Lead the way, Lieutenant." He glanced back. "Teyla? Take our six."

Following behind Ford, John's gaze continued to wander overhead, the circling Darts reminding him that the hardest part of this escape could still be coming. He ducked under a branch and once again looked upward as the whine of a Dart passed overhead.

"Major," Rodney whispered.

"What?" John chanced a look back at Rodney, and the LSD in his hands. He stared briefly at the display for a moment, and then snapped a quick look at Ford.

"Lieutenant."

Ford turned and jogged back to where John, Rodney and Teyla stood.

John stared at the Ancient device, his gaze narrowing. Four motionless dots were at the center of the screen… with a dozen more slowly moving towards them.

"They're coming on foot," Rodney whispered. "I can't really tell how far away they are yet."

John looked around the woods, his penetrating gaze searching for any sign of their pursuers. He sighed and nodded. "Okay, let's get moving again then. McKay? Keep me posted on their position."

"Right." Rodney pushed a few buttons and continued to watch the screen.

John fixed Ford with a hard stare. "Double time it, Lieutenant."

Ford hesitated, his gaze wandering over John. "Sir? Can you…?"

"I can take it," John interrupted. "Now move."

"Sir." Ford nodded once and trotted off into the trees.

------------------------

Although he'd never admit it, John was glad when they finally stopped running. Fighting to keep the stagger from his stride, he halted next to Ford and peered out into the clearing. He looked up as another Dart flew in low over the Stargate, before circling back over the trees and out of sight. "This is going to be tricky," he muttered as he pulled out the radio.

"Yes, sir," Ford agreed.

"Stackhouse, do you copy?" John looked around, trying to spot where the two soldiers had taken cover. He nodded as his gaze settled on a large group of bushes not far from the DHD.

"Yes, sir," Stackhouse responded.

"We're in the trees about fifty feet from your position. We have Wraith on foot closing in behind us. I want you to get to the DHD and dial Atlantis. We'll cover you."

"Yes, sir. The Wraith seem to be flying on some sort of pattern. Near as I can tell, we'll have about 3 minutes after a Dart makes a pass before the next one comes by."

"Copy that." John looked around. "Okay, wait for the next one to fly by then move on the DHD."

"Yes sir."

John looked over his shoulder. "Teyla? Keep a sharp eye out for those Wraith."

"I will," Teyla whispered, as she scanned the forest behind them.

John stared at the Stargate, his fingers impatiently drumming on the chamber of his P-90. Escape… freedom… and end to this nightmare were so close. And yet, he'd been this close to the Stargate before… only to have escape slip through his fingers. Not this time. This time they would escape. This time he'd lead his team to safety.

All of his team.

John looked up as, once again, a low flying Dart screamed overhead before continuing on out of sight. Switching his gaze back to the DHD, John saw Stackhouse emerge from the bushes and run towards it. "That's it, let's go."

As one, the four of them ran from the trees, just as the gate engaged.

Quickly covering the distance from the trees to the DHD, John nodded in satisfaction as he watched Stackhouse pull out his GDO and send his IDC transmission to Atlantis.

Staggered to a stop next to the DHD, he heard a stunner blast slam into the ground behind him. He whirled around, immediately firing on several Wraith who appeared out of the trees.

"Go!" John shouted as he concentrated fire on one Wraith, dropping it.

The six humans ran for the gate, each one periodically stopping to fire at the approaching Wraith.

"Sergeant, the shield is down." John was momentarily distracted by the sound of Elizabeth's voice over the radio.

"Copy that, Doctor," Stackhouse immediately responded. "We have the Major, and we're coming in hot!"

"Corporal Cooper?"

John briefly felt the pang of regret return to him at Elizabeth's hesitant question. He silently pushed it away and channeled his frustration through his P-90, dropping a Wraith guard instantly.

"Negative." Stackhouse's reply was curt.

As one, all six backed up the short incline to the active gate, continuing to fire upon the pursuing Wraith.

Feeling the charge of the event horizon right behind him, a small, satisfied smile popped to John's face. He fired three more shots, and backed through the wormhole.

--------------------------

Emerging from the wormhole and into Atlantis' Gateroom, John staggered, barely catching himself as the shield abruptly sprang to life.

After a minute, three distinct impacts flashed on the shield, before the gate disengaged and the shield deactivated.

John lowered his gun and looked around, his mind momentarily rebelling at the reality of once again being in Atlantis.

He'd made it back.

There was a moment, not solong ago, when John had been sure he was going to die. To be back… to be standing in Atlantis again… was a reality he almost couldn't accept.

He closed his eyes and pulled a deep, cleansing breath in through his nose, before letting it escape through his mouth. He opened his eyes, stared at the Atlantis Stargate, and smiled.

"Major!"

Elizabeth's light voice grabbed his attention and he turned, watching her skip down the stairs from the control deck two at a time, Carson right behind her.

John stared wordlessly at her, his smile lingering at the clear, relieved expression dominating her features.

She stopped in front of him, her eyes widening as she took in his appearance, concern edging out the relief on her face. "John…?"

He waved his hand briefly. "I'm okay, Elizabeth."

"Hmm," Carson sounded unconvinced. "All the same, I want you in the infirmary immediately."

John sighed, the surge of adrenaline that had sustained him through the escape beginning to ebb from his body. He couldn't find the will or a reason to argue with Carsoon… and the determined look Elizabeth was giving him indicated it would be useless anyway. "Okay." He eyed the waiting medical team, just to the left of the Stargate. "Just don't try and put me on a gurney." He arched a brow and looked back to Carson, who smiled slightly.

"Don't worry, I'll let ye walk."

John looked around, his gaze meeting the concerned expression of each of his team members. He smiled, and held each one of their gazes for a long moment. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, sir." Ford beamed.

A warm smile graced Teyla's features.

Stackhouse and Conner both grinned and nodded.

"Well, the Atlantis MENSA chapter would never forgive me for not bringing back our honorary member… not that you really care about that." Rodney looked around, clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation.

John slowly walked over to stand just in front of him. Handing the doctor's P-90 back , he locked gazes with him. Once again, in a pinch, Rodney had found a way to do the seemingly impossible, and saved his life in the process. Gratitude warmed John's features as he held Rodney's gaze and nodded slightly, a gesture Rodney returned.

No words were needed.

John turned back to Carson and sighed. "I don't suppose I could just go to my quarters?"

Carson nodded. "Aye, maybe… after you come by the infirmary and I check you out."

John crossed the Gateroom, the sound of Ford briefing Elizabeth on the rescue fading behind. The adrenaline continued to drain from his body and, as he came down off that high, he felt his pace slow. Taking the steps one at a time, he stopped on the mid-level landing and glanced at Carson. "Sorry Doc. Guess I'm pretty tired."

Carson nodded back. "It's alright, Major, just take your time."

John pulled in a deep breath and looked around the empty landing. Unbidden memories washed over him.

"Bower, Cooper, feel up to a little off world excursion today?"

"Yes sir.," Both men answered in unison.

"Good. You're with us."

"Major?"

Guilt stormed through John, as Carson grabbed hos arm. The sight of the empty landing only fueled his emotions.

"Sergeant! Bower talk to me! Bower!"

"Sir…," Bower's voice was strained and filled with pain, "I can't… he's in my head! Forcing me… can't resist… can't get away….

Bower's pain-filled scream echoed in John's head.

Powerless against the memories that flooded him, his breath came fast.

"Major? Are ye alright?" Carson's voice sounded distant, disconnected.

His eyes hazed with death, Cooper looked at John one last time.

The image burned itself instantly into John's head. As life fled from Cooper's eyes, John whispered, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"What?"

Carson's question barely reached John's ears. Exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally, he felt his knees buckle but, instead of falling, he was slowly eased to the floor by Carson's strong grip.

"Easy, Major, you're all right." Carson squatted next to where he knelt and John felt him grab his wrist. "Your pulse is pretty fast, Major. Try and take some deep breaths." Carson's voice was calm and soothing, and John tried to do his bidding. A sheen of sweat tickled his brow as he pulled in several deep breaths, fighting his lightheadedness. Somewhere in the background, he heard rapidly approaching footsteps behind him.

"Carson?"

Elizabeth's voice sounded concerned. John wanted to tell her was okay, but it took all he had just to keep from falling over, and his voice was lost to a large lump in his throat.

"Major?"

John felt another set of strong hands on his other arm, and caught a glimpse of Rodney's concerned expression as he knelt next to John. His eyes slid shut as he pulled in another ragged breath.

"Carson what's wrong with him?" Rodney demanded.

"He's exhausted, battered and dehydrated at the very least, Rodney, and from the looks of that bump on his forehead, he's probably got a concussion. I'll know more when we get him to the infirmary."

John felt Carson's hand pass quickly over his chest. "I don't see any sign that the Wraith fed on him."

"Didn't…." John managed a hoarse whisper.

"Thank God." Concern still colored Elizabeth's voice, but John could hear her relief.

Feeling more in control, he looked up at Carson. "I'm… okay." Pulling his legs under himself, he slowly stood. He tried to shake himself loose of Rodney and Carson, but they held fast to his arms. "Really."

"I'll be the judge of that," Carson responded. "Can you walk? I want to get you to the infirmary."

John slowly nodded, as he pulled in a deep breath. "Yeah."

"All right," Carson nodded. "Nice and easy now. We're in no hurry."

John turned towards the exit leading to the infirmary, but was stopped by Elizabeth's soft words.

"Major?" Her warm smile pushed the concern from her expression. 'It's good to have you back."

John nodded slowly and forced a small smile through his exhaustion. "It's good to be back." He mustered as much reassurance as he could. "I'm okay, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth nodded. "Glad to hear it, Major."