Disclaimer: previous applies.

If I don't laugh I'd cry.

Chapter 9

"Dog!"

"Scumbag!"

"Heartless!"

Each girl that passed me had something to say.

"I guess everyone heard about me making Hinata cry." I muttered to myself.

"Say something?" Kiba asked from beside me, we were both heading to our first periods.

"Nothing." I told him and just then a girl bulldozed a path right between us, obviously making sure that her shoulder collided with mine painfully. Almost knocked me over.

"Just die Naruto." She snapped at me as she continued on without apology or even a glance back.

What the hell!

I angrily spun around and with my fist in the air shouted, "Crazy bitch!" behind her.

"Uzumaki." A sharp but calm voice cut through the noise of the hallway, grabbing my attention too. I knew who it was even before I turned around to glare at him. All the girls seem to hold their breaths as he walked passed them and towards me.

"What is it?" I asked him defensively.

"Your foul language."

"So what? Haven't you been hearing them all morning?" I asked him as I gestured madly at my crowd of female torturers. "A guy can only take so much!"

Uchiha-teme didn't look like he cared, he just smirked slightly and said, "Detention. Lunchtime." Then he turned and left leaving me with my mouth open in disbelief.

"WHAT THE FU-" I began but Kiba clamped his hand over my mouth before I could finish, he also held me back when I tried to run after the heartless bastard to tackle him to the floor.

"Naruto, calm down. You'll only make it worst for yourself." He said as he released me when Uchiha-teme was gone from sight.

"It can't get any worse than this Kiba."

"Exactly," Kiba grinned at me and I looked surprised by him agreeing like that to my negativity. "It's so bad that it could only get good from here." He continued and I frowned.

"Right." I said dryly.

"So you're coming to my swim meet later right? Gaara, Shikamaru, Lee and Shino'll be there too." Kiba asked me and I felt a leer tug on my lips as I remembered something.

"I always do don't I?" I told him as I skillfully turned my leer into a kind smile and Kiba returned the gesture.

"Kewl!" he chuckled and we went into our class together.

*Evil laugh* (in my head) You see, I had another reason for going to the swim meet.

To check out guys!

Yep, I said it, I Uzumaki Naruto am going to find me some sizzleing male eye candy- but it's all for research purposes of course!- I said last time that in order to prove that evil, conniving and obviously delusional pedophile (Uchiha-teme) wrong I need to prove it to myself first. And where better to test the strength of my sexual orientation than at a place full of guys wearing nothing but tiny Speedos!

I snickered at my own wit.

This was going to be easy, I've been to Kiba's meets loads of times, I don't mind being surrounded by a bunch of half naked guys, I don't mind at all.

"Naruto-kun, are you okay?" Lee asked me right after I had yelped and clamped onto his arm because one of Kiba's competitor's bare hips had brushed against my elbows as he walked by.

"Just ignore him," Gaara told Lee, "He always gets like this."

"Um- really?" Lee asked as he watched me apprehensively survey the sea of Speedo clad boys.

"He gets really edgy around unclothed guys." Shikamaru explained.

Lee looked concerned, "I wonder why that is….."

"Isn't it obvious?" I spoke up now and Gaara, Shikamaru and Shino looked at me, "I-it's indecent you know, showing off their bodies like that. There are children here!"

"Naruto, it's a swimming meet!" Shikamaru snapped as an irritated tick appeared on his forehead.

"I'm just saying…." I muttered, "Cover up alittle."

"Let's just find some seats." Gaara said and we followed him up the stands.

As the first race was coming together all of the competitors went to sit with their teams which cleared up the view of the pool. We saw Kiba come up when his name was called for the first race and we all cheer, 'we' being Lee and I, and Kiba looked up to wave. I noticed his eyes going along the line of us until it landed on Shino then Kiba gave the weird boy a little smile. I figured that he must have been happy that Shino came like he said he would, not that I would have minded if he had forgotten….

The boys who were taking part in the race came up also and started stretching and getting ready. This was it, I could test myself now. I studied the line of them searching for anything that caught my attention, which none did- as expected.

Ha! I sat back in my seat with a satisfied smirk, Guess you were wrong Uchiha-te-huh?

A head of dark hair caught my eye. The boy that had just taken the spot next to Kiba had hair that was similar to my demon English teacher, I watched him closely as he peeled off his sports hoody, the only piece he had besides the dreaded speedos, then he began a quick warm up. My mouth parted when he stretched his arms up and the taunt muscles of his rippled abdomen shifted smooth with each movement. He bent over to touch his toes and the black skin of fabric which cencored him pulled down enough to expose the top slope of his ass and when he stood straight again I found my eyes stuck on the perfect 'V' that lead down to his crotch. His crotch that was cut off from being explored fully by that damned speedo, god that thing suddenly annoyed me.

"Uh- Naruto-kun, are you okay"

"Huh?" I turned reluctantly to Lee and Gaara held out a napkin to me. "What this for?" I asked as I took it.

"Your nose is bleeding." He answered calmly.

"Ah!" I shouted as I looked down at the drips on my hoody, then I mentally cursed myself for getting aroused over something like that. I blushed as I held my head up and poked the napkin into my nose, "Shit."

"Is it too warm in here?" Lee was concerned, "Your face is all red."

"Hn." Shikamaru smirked, "What were you thinking about Naruto?"

"Nothing!" I shouted sounding panicked, "I-It's all the chlorine!"

Kiba ended up winning all three of his races and I stared at the ceiling for two hours. Maybe I was jumping into this too quickly, staring at half naked guys is kind of weird, no male should be studying another male that closely in the first place, right? No wonder it made me all nervous, it's abnormal. I thought that it might be better if I tested myself on fully clothed guys instead.

We collected in the parking lot with Kiba near Shikamaru and Gaara's cars.

"So what are we doing now?" I asked and Gaara and Shikamaru both looked at Kiba for an answer. Even stranger, Kiba suddenly became nervous, he grinned uncomfortable as he played with his meddles, his eyes glanced at Shino beside him.

"Well, Shino and I were going to get a bite to eat." He said.

"I'm heading back then," Shikamaru told us, "Unfortunately I have to finish that geography assignment I've been avoiding."

"I'm supposed to get Lee home before seven." Gaara said now as he pulled out the key for his car.

"What?" I stopped them, "Why are you being so boring? Shikamaru, you can finish that assignment in no time, and Gaara, it's not even six yet!"

"Don't you have anything you need to go do, Naruto?" Kiba asked me now and he was doing something weird with his voice and eyes.

"Errr-" yeah, check out some more guys- but they didn't need to hear that, "No, not really. Let's go to the Ichiraku bar!" I bounced with a grin, I love that place.

"Naruto!" Kiba snapped at me.

"What? I'm hungry."

Kiba looked over at Shikamaru desperately and the other boy just sighed as he shook his head. "It's Naruto, he'll never get it so it's pointless to even bother."

"And what's that suppose to mean?" I asked Shikamaru hotly but he had already turned to leave, his reply was a lazy wave.

"Sorry Kiba, you're on your own. Later." Gaara said and he left also with Lee following.

"I guess it's just us then." I smiled at the two remained and Kiba glared at me, "So Shino, you like ramen?" I asked the quiet boy.

"It's not bad." He answered.

"Great! Ichiraku it is."

"Welcome to Ichiraku!" we were greeted earnestly at the door by the pretty waitress in the full Sailor Moon costume, she gave us the peace sign and a bright smile. But Kiba and I just stared in tense silence because she was shockingly familiar.

"Ha-Haku?"

"Yes Naruto?" the boy in the DRESS replied as if nothing wrong with this picture.

"What-why- what are you wearing?" Kiba stuttered, Shino just looked on wordlessly between us.

"I'm Sailor Mars." He told us as he spun around. "Do you like it?"

"Er- well…" I began to consider it. He really did look a lot like her-

"Naruto don't consider that!" Kiba told me sternly. Then he turned on Haku, "Why are you dressed like that?"

"It's cosplay night. Everyone is in costume, even the owner."

I chuckled at that, "Really? Even Teuchi-san?"

"It was your idea wasn't it?" Kiba accused Haku and the other boy looked proud.

"Yeah, it was. We have costumes for the customers to rent also."

"Really?" I asked getting excited, "Do you have Axel?"

"Hmmmm, I'll have to che-"

"Just get us a table." Kiba interrupted and he gave me a stern 'behave yourself' glance.

Haku chuckled, "Sure." He turned to wave and get the attention of someone inside the restaurant, soon a waitress in a pretty pink and white lace lolitta dress and small white feathered wings appeared. Haku pulled him to stand before us, "This is Inari-chan, he's new."

My eyes widened, "He's a guy? But he's so cute!"

Inari blushed as he bowed, I blushed too because I couldn't believe I just said that out loud.

"Who's he supposed to be?" Kiba asked though he didn't sound particularly interested.

"Cardcaptor Sakura." Shino answered and everyone looked at him. "I'm a fan."

"You're kidding." I deadpanned.

"Inari, table 11 is available." Haku told the smaller boy who was shyly avoiding all eye contact with me.

"Oh, right." He said as he realized that the line behind us was growing longer all this time, "This way please."

When we were seated Inari took our orders then went then brought drinks. I couldn't help but find the way his face colored every time our eyes met or I spoke to him really endearing, he sort of reminded me of Hinata actually. Heck, I don't even think my ex could have pulled off that dress exactly as well as Inari was.

"Here you go- um-" he said as he rest my drink in front of me.

"Naruto." I told him with a smile and Inari quickly looked away.

"Naruto." He repeated, his cheeks gaining a deep shade. He's a boy Naruto. I reminded myself desperately, A BOY! A B-O-Y!

"Sooo, Shino, what did you think of the meet?" Kiba awkwardly questioning of the insect otaku caught my attention. The two of them had found seats opposite each other; Kiba was ignoring me, playing absentmindedly with the medals hanging around his neck as he watched Shino finish sipping his iced tea.

"It was exciting, you did really well Kiba." Shino answered and Kiba almost became as red as Inari.

"Really? Thanks, I was kind of trying to impress you." He admitted shyly, and that when it hit me. Something was up here. Why the heck was Kiba acting like some crush drunk girl?

"I was." Shino said now as he leaned forward and closer to my friend. "In fact your speed, the way you glided through the water so effortlessly, reminded me of the Belostomatidae."

Kiba blinked, and I scowled. "The what?" we both asked, Kiba shot a glare at me and I shrugged my shoulders.

"It's a family of insects under the classification of Hemiptera, I guess you might know them as the giant water bug."

Kiba laughed, "Really? How interesting, you're comparing me to a bug…" I could tell that was sarcasm, but Shino couldn't.

" Of course, they're only one of the fastest swimmers in their order, not to mention they're ruthless predators." And then, I almost couldn't believe it but, Shino smiled. It was small and more like a leer, but it was there and I could almost hear Kiba's heart go a-flutter.

"Um- Shino, just to be clear, in your language that was a complement right?" I asked him.

Shino nodded, "Of course, wasn't that obvious?"

Kiba was blushing again, he and the crazy bug boy was now sharing a silent moment of staring in which Kiba's hand rested tensely on the table just a few inches away from Shino's, I could tell that he was just aching to touch the other boy.

But something occurred to me. It was like a spark of realization; it hit me so suddenly that I unexpectedly lost control of my mouth and immediately voiced it (loudly) as I shot out of my chair and pointed at Kiba. "Y-YOU LIKE SHINO!" Kiba's eyes widened to the size of a fish's and I slapped both hands over my mouth, crying apologies with my eyes.

Kiba barely glanced at Shino who hadn't reacted or said anything yet, everyone else in the restaurant had fell silent but were slowing returning to their business again. With a scary, threatening glint in his eyes Kiba got up and grabbed me by my shirt pulling me toward the exit.

"Oh, Naruto." Haku said surprised as we passed him at the door, he watched me sympathetically as Kiba pulled me into the lonely parking lot where he stopped and pushed me away from him.

"I- I'm sorry I didn't mean it!" I began.

"GO AWAY!" Kiba shouted shutting me up.

"But- you can punch if you want. Go ahead, I won't blame you." I told him as I closed my eyes and got ready for the blow. This usually worked, normally Kiba would just tap me on my head then tell me to forget about it, but nothing happened. When I opened my eyes again my heart clenched at the disappointment that burdened the way Kiba looked at me. "Okay." I said softly, "I'll leave."

"Good." Kiba bit and he turned around to walk off, I did too and when I looked back I saw he standing outside still. He was pacing, hesitant to go back in, and I could definitely tell why. Shit!

End of chap 9 ^^

I hope you enjoyed, tell me what you of this chap please.