Alright I don't own Hellboy, obviously.
Finally an update! Sorry about the wait, I'll have another chapter soon and it will be a good one!!!
I slid my wedding ring onto my finger, it felt strange, it hadn't felt that way before. I looked around my room and just about cried when I saw all my cloths thrown all over the place. I had been a bit overzealous in finding my ring. As I threw all my cloths back into my bag I thought back to all those years ago when I had escape from my father's house, for the second time. I had only been eighteen when my father had killed me and it that was how old I had been when I met the elves. When I stepped into the woods that night, trying to wipe the blood of my father off my hands, I was surprised to find I was being fallowed. It only took him a few seconds to get the drop on me; I never heard him walking behind me.
"You have committed murder human." I fell to the ground when I heard the man speak behind me. I started to cry thinking I had been caught, it would have been pointless to run.
"Yes, I have committed murder." I sobbed as the footsteps drew closer.
"Not just any murder I would think." He stood just behind me, I thought I could hear him breathe.
"No, not just any murder, my father, I murdered my father." The realization of my actions hit me like a ton of bricks and I began to beat the ground with my fists. Patricide, I had committed patricide. I was a murderer most foul.
"Please, human, stand."
I tried to make my legs move but it just didn't work, I just sat there on my hands and knees wishing for it all to be over with.
"Stand!" He shouted as I felt his hands grip me under the arms pulling off the ground.
He had pulled me through the woods for hours until we made it to a small shelter. He threw me to the ground telling me to stay put, but I couldn't help but begin to back away from the opening in the hut.
"Please, if you try to leave, I will just come and get you again." He barked over his shoulder as he stepped through the door.
Well, that put a damper on my escape. So there I stood, waiting for whomever it was that caught me to come out and deal with me. And wait I did. I waited so long that I eventually laid down on the ground, the night was drawing to a close, and the sun was beginning to pop up over the horizon. I contemplated the predicament I was in, here I was a captive of some man I didn't know and didn't have a clue what he would do with me. While I sat there on the cold ground all I could think about was what I had done. I killed my father, and, for some reason unknown to me, I didn't regret it one bit. I was glad my father was gone from the world, I was free, free to live the rest of my life in complete freedom, and completely alone.
Little did I know that while I sat there, contemplating my eternity alone, the man who had me captured only hours after my father met his doom watched me silently. I didn't even hear a twig break or even a rustle of the leaves under his feet. "It is a beautiful morning is it not?"
I jumped when he spoke, the only probable reason I didn't turn around to look at him was the fear of who I would see. "Yes, completely breath taking."
We remained silent until the sun had fully risen in the sky, pink and orange flooded the sky. Thinking it was probably going to be the last morning I would see I absorbed it into my skin hoping that I would be able to remember it when I was in hell.
"So, you killed your father." It wasn't a question merely a statement of fact.
"Yes." To this day I never understood the tear that ran down my face then, possibly the fear of dying myself, but it was not for my father.
"It was a well deserved punishment for the pain he has caused you." The mans' voice broke as he spoke taking me by surprise.
"What?" My head whipped around to look at him but what I saw wasn't a man. He stood there before me in crimson robes, that made my own dress look positively shabby. His face was kind, I think that was the only reason why I didn't run instantly.
"Brantley was the best of men, I knew him for many years." He bent down slowly in front of me looking into my eyes.
"How did you know him?" I ignored the fact that a strange man bent in front of me with wild twigs branching out of his head and instead focused on the pain and concern that flowed out of him.
"He was a friend and companion for many years. He became almost like a son to me." He grabbed my hands giving them a heartfelt squeeze. "Excuse my awful manners Voirrey, I am Balor, I have been trying to find you ever since I heard of his death. When I heard that it was your own father who committed these crimes against you I wept for you." He reached out and ran his hand across my face, I had thought it would feel much like the bark of a tree but was greatly surprised to feel such incredible soft skin. I wept in his arms for hours and all he did was hold me. He held me until all I could do was breath, breath in his woody scent and wonderful perfume. I had never been in the presence of a man like him before. Instead of trying to quiet my tears and sobs he just sat there with me, weeping with me. He felt my pain just as strongly as I did, he had loved Brantley just as I had.
"Now, my child, I was unable to help you and Brantley when he was alive so now I have come to care for you. I will care for you until you no longer need me." He said finally thumbing away my tears helping me to my feet.
"Take care of me?" I was shocked by his sudden devotion to me.
"Yes, dear, you are now one of my children. You shall be called Heulwen from now on by my people."
Tears brimmed my eyes by his sudden kindness to me, in all my years the only man who had ever shown me any sort of kindness had been Brantley. Now I was in the presence of the very man who had taught him, I was to learn from the master. I spent over one-hundred years with him and his people, I learned more with him than I had ever learned from my own father. The list of all the things I learned from that man was forever long, the most important was love. I was never very freely with love but he had given it to me so freely that there was no way for it to not change me for the rest of my very long life. He had given me the skills I had now for healing, it was with his help that I was able to heal others and not only myself, helping me realize my gift for this life. I owed him so much.
The ring on my finger was just metal, but the symbol in represented was of the most powerful thing on the planet. Love.
Once I had completely put all my cloths back into my bag I managed to peek out into the hallway and saw I would be able to make a clean break to the Hospital. I didn't know how long I had been out with my healing but I knew I needed to check on the vaccine first thing. It had to be in the middle of the night with how little traffic there was in the hallway, I knew that the attack on the base had been stopped since I had been left in my room and not in the storage closet from before. The only thing that was different was the men walking around were heavily armed. My journey to the Hospital was uneventful along with checking it, everything was just fine and apparently I had only been out for eighteen hours by the progress the vaccine had made. And since I was fully rested from my gunshot wounds I didn't see a reason for me to return back to my room so I figured the best place to go was the library. It had after all been my favorite place to go when everyone else on the base was asleep.
But when I reached the door I was surprised to find that the library wasn't empty like I had anticipated. Voices floated out of the room, so softly that I had almost missed them completely and would have walked in and ruined the quiet conversation.
"Her wounds were sever, it could take her many hours to heal. I don't think Hell Boy had ever seen her so horribly injured, he was very worried about her." Abe's voice floated out into the hall making me freeze just as I was about to turn into the library. I would have backed away completely and left but when I know I'm the topic of conversation I just can't help but stick around to find out what gets said.
"Two shot guns blasts to the chest, which could take just about anything out of a person." Liz was in the room too. "I know I had never seen her that banged up before. Red was very worried about her, but she is incredibly strong, stronger than any of us really understand I think."
"I had been meaning to ask you something." Abe paused briefly. "Did she and the Professor ever have anything between them? Red had called her mother just as he had always called him father."
"No, not that I was ever able to tell. There were times though, that I thought she did have someone, every now and then she would wear this gold band on her wedding finger. I asked her about it once but she just shrugged me off saying it was long ago and that she had forgotten the story behind it. But the way she ran her finger over it, I could tell she really hadn't forgotten she just didn't want to tell me."
"Living that long it is difficult for someone to never have anyone" I was surprised to hear Nuala speak, I thought it had only been Abe and Liz talking. "It is funny, but, the first time I saw here I thought I had seen her before. When I asked her about it, she avoided the question."
"The one thing I know to be sure of V is she really hates people trying to find out about her past. I remember one time when I first came here one of the agents found an old article from fifty years back and it had a picture of her in it. He brought it in for her to see and she just about killed the guy for it. Her past is just that, her past. She likes living in the present and not to think of the past ever." Liz said.
That was true, I never did like thinking of the past, for some strange reason it had always hurt to look back at my life, as if something had always been missing. A hole if you will.
"Yes, she is a bit of a mystery." Abe said. "I suppose it is late, I believe it is time for me to turn in. If you will excuse me I will leave you all."
"Yeah, I should get some shut eye too. The twins have music lesson tomorrow." The way Liz said it I could only imagine a dramatic eye role. But that meant Liz would walking out of the library and smack right into me, I had to hide. The library would surely be empty in just a few short minutes, then I would be at peace with the books.
I ran to hide behind a door that led down a dark hallway and waited till I heard Liz's footsteps retreat out of ear shot. Once I was sure the way was clear I made my way back to the library, but to my great displeasure, again, there was still a conversation going on about me.
"I know the feelings you are having for her brother, you can't mask them from me." Nuala said quietly. Apparently Nuada had been in the room as well.
"It is difficult to have something with someone when they refuse to let you touch them." He sounded annoyed. Which was right I thought, how could he have something with another person when they wouldn't let you touch them? Impossible.
"There were times when father called me back to court, I would hear whispers of a human woman, and the way they described her I could swear they were talking of Voirrey. Every time I inquired about her they said her name was Heulwen, the human that had caught father's attentions. But whenever I asked father about her he would change the subject."
"Really, a human caught his affections?" Nuada laughed as if it was a ridiculous thought that his father would have had feeling of any sort for a human woman. In the pit of my stomach a tiny ball of anger began to grow.
"There had even been a statue erected in his chambers in the image of the girl, but still he denied anything about it, he would cover it up with a cloth every time I came to see him. You remember Adair, his personal guard, I asked him at one point. He confided in me that father did in fact have a human pet at one point but had said she passed away many, many years ago. But when I saw Voirrey I thought for a second that it was her."
"Well, if she had the affection of father then she was a very special woman indeed." He laughed once again. "But I don't see father becoming infatuated with one. Father had sympathy for them but I don't think he had much love for them, after how they treated the earth. He had great love for many things but for this Heulwen, I think it was a story our people told for entertainment." Still Nuada laughed at the thought and it was about all I could take. I walked into the library ready to defend my name but to my surprise I found them both waiting for me. They stood by the fire looking toward the door and neither seemed surprised by my entrance.
"At last, the sleeping princess joins us." Nuada took a step toward me with his hands held out.
"You knew I was listening?" They nodded slowly as I walked past Nuada avoiding his touch. "I hope what you said about that Heulwen was a lie. From what I have heard of your father I could see him becoming attached to a human easily. We are a very interesting race after all." I marched to the spiral stair case and climbed up to the second level, letting them think that I had come to the library to search for a book.
"Are you the same? Are you Heulwen?" Nuada asked following me to the bottom of the steps.
"No, I am not." I lied to them not wanting them any sort of glimpse into my past.
"Now why must you always do that?" Nuada asked going on the defensive.
"What do you mean?" I whipped around looking over the edge of the balcony at them.
"Every time someone inquires after your past you shut down. All we want is to know you." Nuada took a step closer to the stairs but when he saw the look of apprehension on my face he stopped mid-step.
"See, right there, I try to reach you but you just pull away."
"I don't know what you mean." I turned my back on the both of them, trying to stop the sudden shaking in my hands.
"Please, Voirrey, my brother and I have lived for a long time. In human eyes it could be taken as eternity, there is nothing you could have done in your past that would ever change the impression we have of you." Nuala said.
"I beg to differ." I whispered under my breath still keeping my back to them.
"It appears that she does not wish to share anything with us. Come Nuala, I believe it is coming close to breakfast, let us leave Ms. Abbey to her reading." Nuada's speech was clipped with his anger. I heard them begin to shuffle toward the door.
I was acting like a fool, and I knew it too, but I just couldn't bring myself to speak. I rang my thumb along my ring thinking of Brantley when I felt such a sudden surge of heat building in my chest that I couldn't deny what I was feeling. Brantley would be so disappointed in me, not only him but Balor would be as well. To be this close to happiness and be willing to just throw it out the window for a trumped up assumption that people would think less of me for my past. I whipped around to see Nuada and Nuala just about to pass through the door.
"Mrs." I called as loud as I could through the frog in my throat that had settled there.
Nuala paused looking back at me. "What?" She asked quickly.
"It's not Ms. It's Mrs. I am, was, married." I held up my hand showing my lumpy wedding ring on my finger.
Nuala and Nuada turned back into the room looking at me.
"Before I was married my name was Lady Voirrey Knedham. When I was seventeen I ran away from home and that's when I met Brantley, I became his wife so now my name is Voirrey Knedham Abbey. We were married for only six months before my father found us and killed us both for being witches, Brantley and I had the same gift, you see." I paused to see their reaction, since I hadn't been looking at them the whole time while I had been talking, the fear I felt wouldn't let me look. Nuala had walked away from her brother and stood at the base of the stairs looking up at me in sheer shock. Nuada had his face turned away from me, I couldn't see his reaction. "That night I woke naked after heeling from the burns to find Brantley's lifeless body laying close by me, headless, my father had chopped it off in front of me. A punishment for not going back home with him, my father was an abusive man, from the age of eight my father came to my room each night to have his way with me and when I would attempt to fight him off he would beat me. It was natural for me to feel it was wrong every time he came to my room so I ran away. That same night I met him. Brantley a man who treated me with such kindness, he never even raised his voice to me or ever touched me when I didn't want it. We could have spent eternity together on this earth, but my father stole it from us. I went to my father's home in the stealth of night and found him sleeping alone. I killed him just as he had killed me and my love." My voice had become broken as I spoke my past to these two elves. As I made my way down the stairs Nuala grabbed my hand softly, I didn't fight her touch now, there was no point. As I passed Nuada he didn't raise his head to look at me. "And yes, I am Heulwen, I lived with your father for over one-hundred years. He became the father I should have had." Before any of them could say a word I walked out of the library and shut the doors behind me. I wiped my eyes and walked as quickly as I could to the hospital and locked myself in. I laid down on the exam table and just stared up at the ceiling thinking about what had just past between me and the elves and no matter how bad I thought it went I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was remarkable, I had never noticed in all my time that the secret that I held pent up inside had caused me such torment. But, now that it was out, I felt lighter almost as if I could fly.
And it was then that my cloud of relief shattered. The alarm sounded louder than I ever remembered it sounding as if it had been amplified or something. I sat up quickly moving to the door faster than I thought I could move, I swung the door open to see agents running.
"What's going on?" I asked as I saw H.B. running up the hall toward me.
"Don't know, come with me, they could need you." I followed in H.B.'s wake toward the briefing room next to the locker room. Manning greeted us with a sour look on his face.
"It's in the subway, whatever it is it's stopped a train and killed almost everyone on it. We're going to need a large team on this. Voirrey you're going as well, they could use someone like you there, just don't over tax yourself." He pointed at me as I ran past him to gear up.
In the truck I sat next to H.B and Liz, across from me there were three agents I had never seen before. They looked scared yet excited at the same time, I was sure that this was their first mission, that meant something was going to go wrong. Honestly why send the new-bee's out on something that could go extremely wrong. I hadn't noticed that Nuada had joined us in the truck until he spoke to Liz.
"How are your children Liz?" He asked quietly.
"Just fine, glad their asleep or they would be causing a ruckus with us leaving. How is your sister? I haven't been able to talk to her in a few days."
"She is," he paused for a moment as if he was thinking about the answer carefully, "just fine. I'm glad to see her so happy with Abe. It warms my heart to see it."
"Oh I agree, Abe has been brimming with happiness ever since he first met her." Liz smiled and patted his knee as they talked.
"I am sure that our father would be extremely happy to see her so." I chuckled under my breath as I thought about Balor, he had been such a loving and understanding elf.
"Okay guys, let's get this show on the road." H.B. said as the truck came to a stop, he stood quickly and walked to the back door of the truck opening it quickly. He stood there for a while to wait for Liz to make it out he even held a hand out for her to take. I smiled to myself knowing that he still remembered his manners lessons from so long ago. I had been determined ever since he was little to teach him how to respect women after how my father had treated me, I could see that all my hard work had paid off.
I waited calmly until everyone was out of the truck before I made my way out into the alley we had pulled into. Stepping out of the truck I was hit with an awful odor that nearly knocked me on my butt. I covered my nose afraid to take deep breaths until I managed to get used to the smell. Being a doctor that had worked with the government for all these years I had encountered many smells I usually managed to get used to them very quickly. I walked up to H.B. who had moved to the second truck that had pulled in after us and was loading one of his large guns. A large enough gun that I wasn't able to lift it on my own.
"Alright guys, we're going to do this the smart way. With teams of four; H.B., V, Nuada and myself will be team one and so on." Liz spoke in her authoritative voice as all the men gathered around us. I hadn't realized that Nuada had come to stand next to me, he stood far enough away from me that he didn't touch me but I could feel the heat radiating off of him. I chanced a glance at him but he had his eyes glued to Liz who was barking orders and arranging teams. This had always been my problem, I never paid attention when they were talking about the important stuff. I never saw the point, normally I had thought about all the stuff I had to do when I got back to the base. But, not this time, the only thing I could think about was the fact that the only man on this earth that I had a chance being happy with wouldn't even look at me.
I didn't look at him again, not until we were deep in the tunnels of the subway.
H.B. led the way with Liz right behind him, Nuada took up the rear. If it had been just a few days ago I would have thought he would be checking out my back side but now I knew that was never going to happen. So, I walked along silently behind Liz listening to any sound that could draw my attention. It was silent. I had thought, from what Manning had told us, that there would have been shouting and people screaming.
"Nothing yet, Liz, have you found anything?" Abe chimed in over the radio attached to Liz's' hip.
"Not a thing."
We walked for a few minutes until H.B. stopped and turned to us. "I think whatever it was is gone." He had a faint look of disappointment as he studied Liz's face.
"I think you might be right, let's keep looking for just a few minutes then we'll see what's going on."
I hated being down here in the tunnels, it made me feel claustrophobic, everything so close together. It freaked me out just a little, people were meant to be above the ground enjoying it not trapped down in a tunnel. As if it was the queue for something to happen it choice this moment of my fear building to happen. We heard a large crash in the maintenance tunnel just off to our left. H.B. and Nuada took off after the sound. I hoped it was just a rat that knocked something over.
"Are you alright V?" Liz asked as we followed the boys just a little more cautiously.
"I really don't like it down here." I whispered.
"Same here." She said as we stepped into the smaller tunnel.
The room was cluttered with small boxes and blankets thrown everywhere. "Looks like a homeless bunker." I said as I looked around closer. Sure enough I saw a man huddled in a corner, after a quick examination I realized he was dead. I would have guess just a little over a day but no one would know for sure unless we took him back to the base but I doubt Manning would allow it. We would tip of the police and they would take care of it.
"Voirrey, you need to see this." I heard H.B. call from farther down the tunnel, which the more I look was more like a hallway.
I followed the sound of his voice not sure what he would be showing me, I had thought it would be another dead homeless man but I was way off. I stepped into what could only be described as a storage room with power panels and a few lockers that most likely contained tools. I came to stand next to H.B. and had to stifle a scream. There, on the wall, my worst nightmare. It was large and took up just about all the room on the wall, was a portrait of me, and my father.
"This can't be." I took a step toward it and ran my hand along the paint encrusted canvas. The paint had begun to crack and it desperately needed to be restored but I would burn it before that would happen.
"It's you." Liz said just coming into the room.
"Yes."
"Who is that?" H.B. asked with a slight clip to his voice.
"My father."
My eyes begun to swim in the tears that were now forming, but I managed to blink them back. See, this portrait of me and my father wasn't just any old portrait. My father had commissioned this when I was only fifteen, my father had felt it important to preserve my youth and beauty for all to see. I was sitting on a stool, looking submissive and defeated, while my father stood behind me with his hand, possessively, on my shoulder. It would have been a beautiful portrait if it hadn't been for the fact that I was completely naked and my father completely clothed. The hatred that I felt for the man just boiled up fresh in my gut.
"How could someone find this?" I asked anger leaking into my voice.
"Your face, you looks so," Liz trailed off unable to find the right words.
"Broken." Nuada who had been silent up until now, looked at the portrait in disgust.
"Why do you look like that? It makes me want to cry." Liz put her hand to her mouth as if to hold back the sob that wanted out.
"Why would your father want a painting of you naked?" H.B. asked, he had turned away from it with an equal look of disgust to Nuadas, who had left the room back down the tunnel.
"Because my father had raped me just before it was painted." I laughed slightly remembering what had happened that day. Not only had he raped me just before but he even smacked me around a little in front of the artist who painted it. The tears began to fall down my cheeks as I turned to Liz, "Burn it, burn it to dust." I turned my back on them and walked out of the room heading back down the tunnel. I was done down here I was never coming to the subway ever again. To think there was someone out there that had found that portrait and hung it here. Where we were going to be searching, I didn't understand.
"Voirrey." I jumped slightly as I heard Nuada say my name. He hadn't said anything to me since the library and here he was right in front of me holding out a tissue for me. I smiled slightly as I took it.
"I'm going to take Voirrey back to the truck." He said into the radio.
"Good idea." I heard H.B.'s voice say back out at us.
Nuada took my elbow and turned me toward the way we came. We walked in silence the whole way back to the truck, I just walked next to Nuada who never took his hand away from my arm. I sniffed and wiped away the tears that fell down my face. Not only from the embarrassment of Nuada and H.B. and Liz seeing the portrait but knowing that Nuada truly didn't want to have anything to do with me. How could he? After all that I had done and how I had loved before him, such an intense love that I hadn't loved anyone since. That feeling was almost worse than the portrait, that I had ruined everything that could have happened between us just because I was unwilling to let things go years ago. I could be wrapped in Nuada's arms now and he could be whispering such comfort to me that only an elf could.
I was a fool.
The ride back to the Bureau was even worse, Liz and H.B. sat on either side of me both had anger and confusing radiating off of them. I knew H.B. wanted to asked question after question but he didn't dare with the three agents that sat across from us. I tried my hardest to not think about everything that had happened in the tunnel and just wanted to get back. I was frustrated beyond anything, I needed to run around or something to get rid of this pent up anger that I wasn't able to get rid of.
When we got back to the base I ran off immediately to the gym, I thought vaguely back to the two children who I had helped raise and the questions they would have for me but I didn't care I needed to be alone. I went to the gym, to my luck it was completely empty. At first I didn't know what I should do. Run on the tread mill? No. Lift weights? No. Then I saw the dummy that was off in the corner that was used for hand to hand combat practice. I dragged the dummy out into the center of the large mat that I had spared with Nuada and started hitting it. At first it was a strategic attack, then it just developed into me just trying to hurt the unfeeling dummy. Eventually I crumpled against the dummy, I hugged it as I slowly fell to the floor, weeping. I don't know how long I had been there crumpled against the dummy before I realized I wasn't alone.
I took a peak at the door, Nuada, he stood there silently watching me. He didn't move toward me, he didn't come to comfort me, he just watched me as I sat there pathetically on the floor sobbing. He must think I was useless, after all these year I was still crippled from what my father had done to me.
"How long have you been there?" I asked once my hysterics had subsided.
"The whole time, I didn't think it right for anyone to see you like this."
Yeah, no one wanted to see a women freak out like this, even one as old as me. All I could manage was a nod, suddenly I was exhausted, I just wanted to lay on the mat and fall asleep. Then it hit me.
Something was wrong, it didn't make any sense. How in the world did a portrait of me that was painted hundreds of years ago turn up in the subway? The world was just too big for a coincidence of that magnitude. I stood quickly with my hands on my hips, I looked at Nuada questioningly.
"This doesn't make sense." I said to him. He looked confused for a brief second but passed quickly.
"Are you referring to the portrait?" I nodded. "Yes, it doesn't make sense. A portrait of you and you father just happens to be down a tunnel that we were searching? I'm afraid the world is small but not that small." I pushed off the frame of the door and walked slowly toward me.
For a second I was dumbfounded at his reference to the word being small, since I had just thought it myself, but I plunged into my thought. "I find it also funny that we find out once we get back that the call was a fake call. There has never been a fake call before, not in my time and I've been around since the beginning of the Bureau. Something isn't right."
"What about the illness? Ever since you've gotten here there had only been one break out, before there was at least one a day. That doesn't make any sense either." Nuada stood in front of me with his arms folded.
"You right, why hadn't I thought of that? No one had been sick here, not even a cold or a sour throat." I looked into his eyes. "Something is going on here." I said it quietly since at that moment five agent walked in with their gym towels thrown over their shoulders.
"I think you're right, we need to tell Hell Boy." He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the gym and down the hall. We ran full out if I hadn't been so tired from the exertion of my impromptu fight with a dummy I was sure I would have been able to run much faster. But Nuada was pulling me as fast as he dared, not wanting me to fall on my face, I was sure.
By the time we made it to H.B. and Liz's door I was completely out of breath. Nuada knocked on the door hard, clearly he didn't care if he woke their children. We heard shuffling around behind the door and I knew someone would be coming to the door soon. But when the door was opened and to see some random women standing there I was taken back.
"Where is Hell Boy?" Nuada asked tersely.
"He and Liz are up in the cafeteria getting some food." She looked over her shoulder into the room.
Nuada grabbed my arm once again and pulled me off down the hall. I didn't dare to ask until we had gone around a corner and out of ear shot of the women.
"Who was that?"
"Liz doesn't like leaving the children unattended when she goes out for missions, even when they are sleeping, so they hired a nanny." I looked back down the hall thinking about the women. I didn't know why but I didn't trust her very much, but I shook away the feeling, it had to be just because of what I had experienced in the tunnel earlier.
Nuada and I burst into the cafeteria to see Liz and H.B. sitting by Abe talking in low voices. Great they were telling him everything about the tunnel. About the portrait, I couldn't help the flushed feeling that rose to my cheeks and we raced over to them.
"V, we were just talking about you. Come and sit down we have something to tell you." H.B. scooted over so I could take a seat right next to him.
"We have something to tell you too." I said completely out of breath, "but you go first."
"Well, I was thinking, after what happened in the tunnel, that there is something going on here. Since you got here no one has gotten sick, before men were getting sick everyday and now nothing."
I looked at him shock, he had always been smart but I hadn't thought he would have put this together. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek as I started to giggle.
"That's what we came to tell you too. There is no chance that what has happened this past week is all coincidence. Something is really going on."
"Well, we are all agreed. We just need to figure out who is behind it all." Liz said as she gave H.B. a kiss.
"Manning?" H.B. said hopefully.
"I don't know, he doesn't seem the type that could put all this together. He's not original enough for it." I said.
H.B and Liz laughed as we saw Manning walk into the room.
"Keep a lid on it, don't tip him off." I shushed them as Manning headed to our table.
"Alright, it's official, I don't know how it happened, but the tip about the subway was fake. We have things in place to prevent these sorts of things but somehow a fake one made it through. Voirrey I need a word with you, it's about what happened in the tunnels." Without waiting for a responds from me he turned and walked away out the door.
I stood quickly without a word to anyone else at the table and followed him. I couldn't imagine what he would have to say to me about what happened but I was sure it wasn't going to be good.
"Alright I'll get right to the point. You have been asked to return to Russia, you're due back there in one week."
"What? Is this really about what happened down in the tunnel?"
"Yes and no. They wanted you on a plane tomorrow but after I told them of the vaccine they agreed to give you one week."
"Don't you think it's funny that no one else has fallen ill since I've been here?"
He looked taken back by my question but regrouped quickly. "You know I had thought it odd earlier today. But then the call came in and it pushed it out of my head."
"There is something big going on here and you need to figure out what it is. I'll go back to Russia with no problems but you need to find out what is going on."
He nodded as I turned away from him and headed in the opposite direction down the hall. I needed time to be alone and to think to recover from today's shock. I walked as quickly as I possibly could I didn't want H.B. or Liz coming out of the cafeteria and follow me. I wasn't much in the mood for talking, I was in the mood for being alone. I stepped into the library and shut the door behind me, I looked around slowly making sure that I was completely alone. A roaring fire raged across the room giving me a sudden rush of relief. I stood before it trying my hardest to absorb the heat as much as I could. Not that it had been a cold day but the feelings I felt from the subway had stuck to me giving me a chilled feeling. It was so dark down there that it was as if the darkness was stuck to me, maybe coming to the library wasn't such a great idea a bath might have been a better choice. I stood there lost in my thoughts thinking about everything that had happened in the past week but no matter how hard I tried to focus on the betrayal that was clearly going on, but all I could do was think about Nuada. I had lost everything I had with him and now I was being sent off to Russia faster than I could blink. I wasn't even going to have a chance to fix it with him, I was going to be half way around the world with no chance of seeing him again.
"Is it true?" I let out a squeal of surprise when a loud voice spoke from behind me.
"What?" I asked seeing Nuada standing in the door way.
"Is it true, are you really going back to Russia?" He closed the door and walked toward me.
"Yes, in one week." I watched his face to see if there would be any emotion there but there wasn't anything that would give away any of his emotions.
"Why?"
"I have been ordered back, I have no choice."
"That is ridiculous, of course you have a choice." He laughed as if he were mocking me.
"No, I really don't, and besides why would I stay here. I hate it here, Manning and all the bullshit that goes on here."
"Is there really nothing that you would stay for? Not even for Hell Boy and Liz?" He took a step closer to me and with a fire behind me I didn't really have much of a place to go.
"Why do you ask such a question?" This was the moment that he was going to tell me he was glad I was going.
"I was just curious, I know this place is unpleasant for you, but could you find just one thing that could make it bearable?"
"I don't know. Do you know of one?" I whispered as he took another step toward me. His eyes had changed.
"I wish, I wish I could make it better for you." He stood in front of only inches away from me.
"What?" I stepped around him afraid to see the lie in his eyes. Moving quickly I ran to the spiral stair case to make it up to the next level.
"You're doing it again! You are pushing me out." He was right on my heels as I climbed the steps.
I didn't have a chance to get away from him, he grabbed my arm whirling me around to face him. The only way I could describe his face was livid. He truly hated me.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what you want from me?" I cried as I tried to pull away from him.
"I want you to tell me what you want? Not what you have been ordered to do, what will make you happy!" He shouted at me.
"Well, for starters I want you to let me go!" without hesitation he dropped his hands from my arms. "Thank you."
I rubbed my arms where he had gripped me too tightly. "I, I don't know what I want." I whispered. "I don't want you to hate me."
"Hate you? How could I hate you?"
"What? You don't hate me?" I took a solid step closer to him so that there wasn't even an inch that separated us.
"No." He shook his head at me almost laughing.
"Then why haven't you said anything to me about what I told you about my past? I was desperate for you to tell me you didn't blame me for what I did, that you didn't hate me for killing my father."
He laughed, "to be honest, I don't brood over the past, what is done is done. If I had been in your place I would have done the same."
"Oh, Nuada." I flung my arms around him and cried into his neck. All he did was hold me as I wept in his arms running his hand over my hair trying to sooth me. Once I had calmed down and my hiccupping had subsided Nuada lifted my head from his shoulder to look at me.
"Tell me what you want, what will make you happy?" He whispered.
I knew what he wanted to hear, but I was too afraid to say it.
"Please, tell me what you want." He ran his hand along my face wiping away every last tear that had been there. His touch sent a shiver down my spine, all I wanted was to melt in his arms and disappear.
"You, just you."