His Second Childhood
By: Selim
Summary: When Squall returned from Time Compression, he wasn't himself anymore. Now he must grow up again, but would having his father in his life the second time make any difference? Squall doubts it, but time has never been on his side.
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII. I am not making any profit off this piece of fiction.
Rating: T

The roaring of the engine seemed almost faint after the first hour on board the Legendary Ragnarok. For an old ship, it wasn't equipped with a sound muffler like the newer models of inner-space airships but it got the job done. This model had things the newer models didn't have, including a lot of space for the president to hide while attempting to do some of his work while Seifer attempted to control Squall.

Locking himself in the control room with the pilot, Laguna folded his left leg over his right, using his thighs as a firm table to sign his name at the bottom form. It would have been easier to do paperwork downstairs where Squall was currently deeming his play room, especially since each seat in the passenger wing had a hidden table in the chair in front but Laguna didn't want to chance Squall making art all over the general request forms for tax revenue to be used on upgrading the chair transporters. He loved Squall's…work of arts, but he doubted Minister Bradley would appreciate what could only be interpreted as a Malboro with blood shooting from its mouth.

"Sir?" The Captain shifted his head communicator back, freeing his ears from their confines. "We'll be arriving at Winhill in the next thirty minutes. Are you certain you don't want us landing in the green pastures?"

"One hundred percent." Laguna shuffled through his paperwork looking for Bradley's second request for an additional transporter taking only certain Estharians (preferably the upper class) to and from the shopping district. He dismissed the idea with a quick signature and date next to the "disapproved" stamp. "These are old fashioned folk, simple ones. They don't take to well with any kind of technology that could destroy the way of life their great, great grandfather's had. Besides, I don't want any flowers destroyed in our visit."

The visit had been a spur of the moment decision made at three that morning. Laguna didn't think anyone – especially Kiros – would let him leave Esthar on such short notice but, considering the weekend was his and Ward had promised to stay back and control the three-ring circus, Laguna was allowed his once in a lifetime trip with his son.

Normally, Laguna wouldn't have even thought of going back to Winhill. Raine wasn't there but Ellone was and the girl knew she was always welcome back in Esthar. Laguna, the man-child, wanted nothing to do with remembering the life he'd left behind. Just the thought of seeing Raine's grave solidified her death and the president was almost sure his emotional well-being wasn't ready for that. Squall, however, needed that trip. Laguna wouldn't have been up at three that morning had it not been for a nightmare the boy suffered an hour before.

Laguna wasn't used to having a child, no matter how natural he acted. When he woke up to a loud scream, his heart had stopped. At first he couldn't place it. Memories of war wrapped his brain as he tried to decipher where it was coming from. It wasn't until the same voice started screaming for 'daddy' did Laguna remembered that he had a son who, at that moment, needed him. He spent an hour trying to pacify the child who babbled endlessly about a dream that Laguna couldn't understand. The only thing that he knew was Squall wanted his mommy just as much as he wanted his daddy. His sleep-fused mind kept demanding for his mother, even though he'd never meet the woman. He had no memories of a person ever holding him as tightly as Laguna was that night. All the president knew was his son wanted to see the woman that birthed him and Laguna couldn't say no.

Besides, Kiros had argued over the breakfast table while finalizing their plans to leave Esthar in Ward's good hands the next few days, Laguna needed to come to terms with Raine's death. Of course, Laguna denied that accusation. He didn't need anyone reminding him that he was a lonely man who lost the woman he given his soul to. Seeing her grave was just going to be a reminder of everything he gave up because he could never say 'no'.

"Fifteen minutes until landing." The captain nodded towards Laguna. Piling his paperwork back in his briefcase, fully satisfied the paper section was done, Laguna strapped himself in properly. "This is the captain speaking, will all passengers please seat belt up. I repeat all—" His voice faded with the grind of the engine as the ship lowered altitude, gliding amongst the ground in preparation to stop way outside town. When the ship came to a stuttering halt, Laguna was quick to remove his belting to take a deep breath. "Please contact us over your communicator before leaving town tomorrow, sir. Are you sure you want no one to accompany you to town?"

Throwing his bag over his shoulder, Laguna brushed his long hair behind his ear. "We'll be good. The monsters are weak out here; my automatic should make quick work of them." God, he needed the exercise more than he wanted to admit.

The pilot looked nervous about this but nodded his head in compliance as Laguna boarded to lift, allowing it to drop him to the next level where Squall was already waiting with his things looking like an impatient teenager than a nervous child. Not far away, Seifer shifted both his overnight back (Laguna didn't have the heart to tell him after tomorrow he'd be traveling to Balamb) and Squall's two bags of clothes and toys mixed.

"Ready to go see Ellone?" Laguna asked Squall, his voice filled with excitement.

Squall's hand tightened around the strap of his bang to relieve his anticipation. "I s'pose." The child whispered.

"Did he have a nap?" The question was directed at Seifer, who looked ready to pass out himself.

"Too excited. Don't let his indifferent attitude trick you. He's been talking about your memories for hours." Seifer reached for the last item Squall had left on the floor, Choco.

Laguna was about to comment when the door leading to the final floor slid open, Kiros stepping into the small chamber. "We've got the stairwell down. Looks like some rain is coming in so we might make it to town by the first few drops." Laguna bent down, picking Squall up. The child let out a noise, kicking his little feet to be put down. Laguna was unrelenting. If rain was coming, he didn't want to be straggling back waiting for Squall to catch up with the adult's long strides.

After a few minutes of walking, Squall stopped fighting Laguna's hold. His arms wrapped around Laguna's neck, his face hiding behind hair that probably needed to be pulled back in a ponytail. It took awhile for Laguna to realize the boy had finally fallen asleep on his shoulder, his grubby hands (dear lord, how did Squall find something sticky?) tangled into Laguna's hair.

From the distance, the small town of Winhill crowed the horizon in all it's glory. Laguna nearly stopped in his place to stare at it. Surrounded by ominous clouds, it hadn't changed any since his days as a local monster hunter. Rows of colorful flowers brought travelers into the hungry mouth of a lone village. The main manor was easier to see, still overbearing in its stonework but next to it, like a breath of fresh air, was Raine's bar. Laguna picked up pace, leaving behind Kiros and Seifer to sneak a cigarette out of sight.

As he mounted the hill, a hundred meters from the town entrance, he was surprised to see Ellone's lone figure moving through the desolate town. The girl smiled, waving her arm excitedly as she made it over to Laguna. "Uncle, what are you doing all the way out here?" Her eyes brightened seeing Squall's prone figure. "Let's get back to my place before it starts raining." She waved towards Kiros, still at the bottom of the hill. "Is that Seifer?" She blinked, surprised.

"That? That's Squall nanny. Pay him no mind." Laguna shifted Squall in his arms. "Now, about that place." He smiled.

The girl nodded, taking the lead back to town. "Yeah, I moved back in my old place. Currently the lady who owns the bar is making a sell with me so I can convert Raine's home into an orphanage – rooms upstairs, a kitchen downstairs. I was going to connect the two buildings. I have already twelve kids in transit from the recent war, most are from Dollet." She side stepped a chocobo and Laguna made note for Squall to go out and play in the fields – under Seifer's supervision, of course. The monsters, he realized, weren't as rampant as they used to be. "How are you, Uncle Laguna?"

"I've been better." Laguna admitted. "Lot of work with the Lunar Cry and after effects of Squall's change. He's a difficult child. I've meet more women in my life who just wanted to be his nanny—"

"—To get in your bed for sure."

"Hush you but yeah, they want me. I'm not blind. Anyway, Squall's been going through nannies like whores at a Galbadian barrack." He shook his head, stopping just short of Ellone's old home. He frowned. "H…has it changed? I mean…"

"I redid the walls." Ellone nodded. "Put mama and papas pictures up there. The crib is still in the bedroom upstairs though." She nodded towards the stairs. Smiling, Laguna made his way up there. His mind was filled with memories of waking up there after months of having broken bones mended. He recalled staring long hours looking at the crib, trying to think of Ellone as a baby.

Lowering Squall in the crib, Laguna brushed his fingers through the boys hair. Silky like Raine's. He lowered his head, watching Squall sleep. Thumb in his mouth, the boy looked content. His free hand clenched before relaxing. A light drizzle started outside, catching Laguna's attention long enough to see Raine's smile in the mirror. Shaking his head, Laguna lowered his gaze, unable to find the willpower to return downstairs.

He sat at the foot of the crib, holding Squall's hands through the bars as he waited for his thoughts to stop flowing. He didn't move when his knees began to ache or Ellone entered the room to check on him. His eyes remained focus on the window, waiting for Raine's image to return. "I came to say my goodbyes." He finally admitted when he realized Ellone was still sitting in the room.

"She'd be happy about that. I bet she's waited years for Squall to stumble on her grave too." Her gaze flickered on Squall's prone form. "I still thank you for coming to visit, Uncle Laguna. Even if it was short notice."

"I won't overstay my welcome; I know the people here don't appreciate my…existence."

"I told them about Squall."

His eyes widened, looking up at the girl he considered his daughter. It was an unspoken rule that no one would ever know about Squall's predicament. Knowing led to questions and questions led to experiments. He brushed his thumb over Squall's palm, smiling when the hand instinctively closed around his finger. Ellone giggled over in her corner. "What did you tell them?"

"Everything." Ellone shifted her legs out. "They deserved that much. I told them about how you saved me from Esthar but ended up having to save an entire country. I told them about growing up on the boats and the newest Sorceress War. I told them about Raine's baby becoming a baby again. I bet if you went through town with him people would welcome Squall with open arms." Squall, she said, not Laguna. The older man shook his head. "I even told Raine all about it but I think she already knew. The flowers around her grave stone, according to Mrs. Kearry, are at the strongest bloom ever. They're the most beautiful by far."

Laguna nodded. He was sure Raine already knew but still. "I'm going to see her when the rain lets. We won't be here long, Squall's friends are throwing a party and have been begging that the hero give a grand appearance. I haven't told either of them of the stop." He smiled as Squall's brows furrowed the first sign of unrest since he started his nap. Slowly the child's lids opened, testing the waters of wake. "He won't be himself."

Ellone nodded. "I had a feeling when he first changed that it wasn't over. How old is he…mentally?"

Laguna wasn't able to give her an answer as Squall sat up, balling his fist into his eyes. His next wide look was at Ellone before at Laguna, begging to be picked up. Without question, Laguna did so, patting the boy's cushioned bottom. "Do you have to pee?" He asked out of obligation.

The boy rubbed his ear thoughtfully before shaking his head negative.

"I think you'd better try." Laguna gave his niece a questioning look if the toilets location had changed at all in the last two decades. She shook her head negatively and Laguna lead himself out, leading Squall to the toilet. He helped the boy on the seat before leaving the child to his privacy. "Sometimes," Laguna stared off, "he's nineteen. When he really tries he can be himself. That only last maybe four hours a day, however. Those are his peak hours between the times I get home from work and dinner. Sometimes he'll have a good morning, but that's never more than an hour. When he starts getting sleepy, he goes downhill fast. Works his way down the mental prowess. Just before bed he's two but for the most part he'll range between being a snotty four-year-old and a bratty nine-year-old with the physical abilities of a three-year-old. This, however, is most recent."

Ellone chewed on her bottom lip. "He got that bad in a year?"

"It started in the beginning – little things like tantrums. Those became more common and he started to forget things. What I mentioned before, that's a good day. His bad days are when he can't think beyond a three-year-old. It makes things more complicated because you're so used to Squall knowing what he wants and how to express it. Today's been an iffy day. The traveling has thrown off his sleep pattern and he spent the entire flight climbing chairs and making forts while demanding Unkie Keeroz," he stressed the words with a wide grin, "join him. He'll probably explore this house for hours before grabbing his toys and showing you everything a billion times." He rubbed his temples.

Outside he could see Seifer and Kiros, hanging back while smoking. It seemed Kiros was explaining the history of the small community to the nanny.

Behind him shuffling near the door had Laguna immediately opening, letting Squall roam around freely. The child stared around his new surroundings, stepping out cautiously before rushing back to Laguna in fear. "How about you take Squall to visit Raine? She's at the chocobo nest near the flower fields." Ellone smiled, brushing her fingers through the boy's messy hair. "I'll start up on some dinner while you're all gone."

Laguna nodded, reaching down to take his son's hand as he left the door, disappearing in the light sprinkles.

Finding the grave site wasn't hard. The two had bought some flowers and Laguna had let the old lady who still worked the flower shop preen over Squall before buying Raine's favorite for nearly three times the listed value. He didn't care as she wearily took his money, adding a few flowers for Squall to deliver. Still clouded with sleep, the child didn't consider the gift the woman was giving to him, an outsider. Instead, his grip on the stems was too tight, damaging the beautiful flora. Neither said anything as Laguna lead the boy out, listening passively as the boy babbled about what was in his hands as if anyone knew what was exciting him.

Kiros had decided to hang back, wanting to visit little Elle for a while. Seifer, unable to stand looking at the woman he once considered a sister, opted to join the two. He kept an appropriate distance, taking in his surroundings with natural interest. Laguna had attempted to comfort the man by mentioning that a lot of city-dwellers fell in love with the country air. It was a refreshing step back.

"Hard to imagine," Seifer admitted gruffly, "that Squallie could have been raised here. Can't see Squall with a piece of grass between his teeth and a straw hat on."

To be honest, Laguna could never see himself as either. He loved Raine and, had she of lived; he knew he would have done all within his power of charisma to drag the country girl in Esthar. He needed cities and she needed to spread her warmth. "You can look around, if you want."

"Naw, I'm good. I'm here to watch Squall. Can't do that if I'm getting drunk somewhere." Laguna shook his head. He hadn't realized until recently just how messed up the war had left Seifer. Although the man was good at hiding all of it from Squall, Laguna was a master of seeing past mask. He knew that Seifer had made himself a hole and was attempting to bury himself in alcohol, drugs, and other substance. At first, the president had vented his distaste for the behavior (especially around his son) to Kiros but had learned that what Seifer really needed was not be to pushed aside from his weakness but a new family to tell him that everything was different.

Laguna wasn't sure what to make of any of that, of course.

"Choco!" Squall's voice rose to a high pitch. Dropping the flowers from his hands, the little boy broke out of Laguna's hold and darted towards a chicabo off playing in the fields. Laguna stopped Seifer from going off after the child, suggesting keeping a distance. There was no way Squall's attention was going to be pulled away from a bird for a rock in the dirt.

Moving ahead, Laguna nearly stumbled over the grave marker on its lonesome in the field of flowers. Dropping to his knee, Laguna brushed his hand across the grave stone. His ring made a noise against the stonework. Freezing, Laguna found himself lost in the memory of the night he gave Raine the wedding band. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a body sit next to him.

Seifer grunted, frowning at the marker. "What did she look like?"

"Like Squall. Fully cheeks, pretty eyes." While muttering this, Laguna wrestled in his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. He always saved one picture of Raine, a copy from Timber Maniacs. Seifer whistled at the image, earning a smirk from Laguna.

"Looks like a female version of Squall." Seifer shifted forward when a weight pressed to his back.

"What does?" A child's sharp voice asked. Squall situated himself on Seifer's back, relaxing to look over the man's shoulder. The child stood back up, coming around to get closer to the gravestone. Small fingers stretched out over the name, trying to take everything in. "Is this…?"

Laguna leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Squall's middle. "Yeah, that's your mother. That's…" The words got caught in his throat. His wife, his lover, his friend. The mother of his child. "I've wronged you both in so many ways." Laguna sobbed. "Raine, I'll do better. I'll take care of our son."

He never noticed Seifer leave.

"I have a mom." Squall whispered some time later, situated in Laguna's lap.

"Yeah. She was a beautiful lady."

"…Tell me about her…"

"Where do I start?" Laguna grinned.

"The beginning." Squall fumbled with the picture of Raine. "I want to hear everything."

With a chuckle, Laguna did. He wanted to share every memory (happy or otherwise) about Raine with his – no, their – son.