Geez, guys. I am really happy at all the feedback I'm getting from people. This story is being favorited left and right, and that's fantastic. It's also great that I am getting some forms of criticism from people; if it was all positive, I'd be a bit concerned, to be honest. PLEASE keep the feedback coming and let me know what you think. More reviews means a faster update. Ha, fanfiction hostage negotiations are glorious! Anyways, this chapter will be a bit more slow-paced, just focusing more on comedy. The next chapter will be shorter, but will have a bit more action in it, I promise you.
Btw, several popular culture/anime references in this chapter. I'll share my plantain chips with you if you get one. Hurry, they're my favorite flavor and are going fast.
3
It was a Sunday in the Team Fortress 2 world. Date: Sunday, May 12, 1968. The date didn't really matter to Lily, but she figured a look over at the calendar on the Scout's room wall would be useful. She had been up all night thinking, and her eyes were red and puffy. She had been lying in the same position for the past several hours, barely moving, wondering about what it would mean to her once she had to face the others again.
Reaching for her cellphone, which she had kept on one side of the pillow, she checked the time. Barely 9 AM. That was swell; if any combat was to happen, it sure as hell would be rare for it to start now. At least, that's what Lily thought. She knew for a fact that not too many people on the servers she attended would be awake at this hour. That, or they would be off at church, or work, or even with family and friends. Either way, if this alternate reality held true to the game itself, Lily was relieved. No running for her life at the moment.
About five minutes later, there was a knock on the door. A firm, yet polite rapping. Lily could've laughed as she heard the Scout in the bunk above her mutter something about gigantic doughnuts. He sure as hell wasn't getting up. So, standing up and throwing her borrowed blanket off, Lily made her way over to the door. Opening it carefully so she didn't have to hear the Scout complain, she poked her head out to see the Engineer, staring back at her. His helmet wasn't on, and his goggles hung loosely around his neck, giving Lily a glimpse of his light green eyes.
"Uhm...hey, Engineer," she said softly, adjusting her hair. Holy crap, he doesn't have his goggles on! This is awesome!
"Mornin', Lily," he replied. The thirty-something Texan reached up and gave the back of his bald head a brief scratch. "Hope I didn't wake ya."
Lily smiled and shook her head. "Naw. There's no way in hell I could sleep with all this craziness happening to me."
"Heh, point. Uhm, I was wonderin' if you could come with me back to my workshop? I need to talk to ya 'bout that MC...P thingy ya showed us."
"MP3 player?" At that point, Lily felt as if she was being smug. "Uhm, sure, I'll go with you. One sec'." Walking to the side of the bed, she slipped her sneakers back on, before walking outside and closing the door behind her. She didn't care anymore if the Scout woke, and was somewhat delighted when she heard him curse her out in his sleep. "Let's go."
Nodding once, the Engineer led her through down the hallway and out of the mercenary barracks building. To Lily, the barracks had the same feel as both the freshman dorms of her college, and a hospital. The foyer of the building was adorned with different motivational and propaganda posters. Lily let her eyes wander over all that she could, and found herself locked on a poster with what appeared to be a 'silhouette' of the Administrator. She stopped for a moment to look at it more closely, and when the Engineer couldn't hear her footsteps anymore, he stopped, too.
"Everythin' alright, Lil'?" he asked.
Lily snapped out of her daze, stuttering a few times before letting out a nervous laugh. "Sorry if I'm slowing you down," she said. "It's just...I've always wondered what this place looked like in its entirety. I've never heard word of there being a barracks here."
"Oh...heh." The Engineer joined her, looking over some of the posters. "Yeah, there is. It's only here to house those of us that moved from other parts that don't have a place of their own. But, Demoman has his mom's place, Snipes has his camper van, and Pyro just...disappears." After hearing Lily give a sound of acknowledgment, and after a few moments of silence, he spoke up again. "You know 'bout the Administrator, right?"
"Yep, I do. Isn't she the one who likes to be on your guys' asses with how much time you have for missions? You know - FIVE MINUTES LEFT IN THE MISSION." Lily laughed, noticing that her impersonation of the Administrator sounded more like a British robot. She soon quieted when she realized that her guide was looking at her as if she had three heads.
"...What are y'all talkin' about?" he asked, crossing his arms. He didn't seem to be angry with Lily, though his expression displayed the exact opposite of happiness, but she knew what that gesture usually meant. It shrank her down a few notches. "The Administrator doesn't limit us on time on purpose. She just alarms us when them BLUs are tryin' to invade our side and do all kinds of stuff, like capture some of our settlement points. If they secure 'em long enough, they can use those areas to build whatever they want, like supply sheds an' the like. If we capture their points, we take whatever's around 'em down. Y'see, while BLU stands for-"
"Builders League United, and RED stands for Reliable Excavation Demolition. Didn't I tell you that I play thi-" Lily said no more. It'd be in her best interest not to refer to this world as just a 'game' anymore. Now that she was caught up in it, it was real life. "Nevermind."
The Engineer stared for a few moments, becoming more and more surprised at how much this girl knew of this war, before clearing his throat. "Uh, yeah, that's it. Well, she also lets us know if they're carryin' payloads around to blow some of our stuff up, or headin' to our intelligence base. For some reason, they always know whether we keep the damn thing in the Turbine or move it somewhere else for safe-keepin'. We usually retaliate against 'em or go 'n try to steal their intelligence instead. The Administrator usually keeps her eyes out for us, so we can at least be a bit prepared if something drastic happens."
Lily almost sighed. The poor man, completely unaware of Helen's tyranny, she thought. Letting the thought pass, the track rat grinned. Since he brought it up... "What exactly is in that briefcase of yours?"
The Engineer shrugged. "Hell if I know, honey. Alls I know is that that woman does not want it taken. I assume it's full of important files about the BLUs that she keeps wantin' us to relocate over and over again. As long as we do what she says - go in there, handle the dirty work, kill any BLUs that get in our way, and just don't ask questions - we get rewarded with supplies and new weapons. Not to mention we do get paid, which makes this whole rigamarol' seem less pointless."
"Ah, so you're paid mercenaries that follow the leadership of some anonymous female bottle of crazy sauce who tells you to ki-"
"Shh!" As if he were trying to keep Lily from waking a sleeping bear, the Engineer put his hands up, ready to place one over the girl's mouth if needed. When she had stopped, and a confused look had plastered itself on her face, he spoke up again, this time in a whisper. "Don't talk 'bout the Administrator like that. She don't take kindly to comments like that. And you never know when she's not listenin' to us."
Ah. Creepoid. So Engie is aware of what might be going on... Some things began to make sense to Lily. Maybe the players on both teams had trapped themselves in this situation. Maybe after the constant rivalry the REDs had with the BLUs, there were still a few stones left unturned. All the Team Fortress 2 trivia websites that Lily had found told her about the Administrator's, or Helen's, severe lack of remorse, logic, and sanity. She was the one who had started this war, and had made it worse because of one silly little friendship. So what if the BLU Soldier and the RED Demoman had developed a friendship? To Lily, it didn't seem like the effect would be too noticeable in the grand scheme of things. Still, to keep herself, a free-thinker, from possibly being killed on the spot because of a few rude comments, she kept her thoughts to herself. "Sorry, Engie."
"It's alright," the Engineer said, patting the girl's shoulder. "Just...be careful with what ya say, alright?" Gesturing with one of his comically-large hands, he led Lily out of the building, and out into the warm, dry morning air the Badlands had to offer.
Lily shielded her eyes with one hand from the merciless sun as she followed the Engineer. Keeping her eyes on the ground, staring at his feet, she followed him along the dusty land to a shed a few hundred yards from the barracks. Lily, being a girl from the southern United States, was used to bright sun during the summer, but it was winter back in her world, and this sun from a video game universe was - for lack of a better term - ridiculous. Looking back, the Engineer caught a glimpse of the girl, and held the door of the shed open for her to enter first. After she was in, and had uncovered her eyes, he followed and closed the door.
Lily looked up and around the shed. It was definitely bigger than the one she had at home, possible three times bigger than the run-of-the-mill seven-feet high, twelve-feet long, and 9-feet wide structure that housed the family lawn mower and pool supplies. It could easily be compared to a barn. There were several blueprints of various machinery covering the walls, as well as pieces of paper covered with notes. In the corner was a rusty old dispenser that obviously needed some repair and refurbishing. In the back right-hand corner of the "shed" was the Engineer's main work area, composed of a large, sturdy wooden table, several large tool boxes, and large blueprints held together with rubber bands and piled in the corner, among other things. In the middle of the desk was Lily's Zune, held in place by a bulky vice, the faceplate removed. The display made Lily cringe.
The Engineer saw this and laughed. "No worries, honey," he said. "I can give ya money to get another one when I manage to get ya back home."
Lily laughed and shook her head. "Naw, they're kinda pricey in the twenty-first century," she replied. "That thing cost me about a hundred and twenty US dollars, and trust me, a dollar gets you much less then compared to now."
"Like what?" The Engineer took his place at his work station, sitting down and motioning toward another chair so Lily could do the same.
Smiling, she took her place at the table, eyes gazing over one of the blueprints spread out before her. "Well, postage costs suck. You guys can buy maybe...thirty or so stamps with a dollar these days. In the 2000s, a dollar will barely get you three."
"...You're kidding."
"I ain't lying, Engie," Lily said, shaking her head with a frown. "And gas costs more than two dollars. A summer or two ago, it got up to four."
"What?!" The Engineer's fair-colored eyes widened. "Alright, girl, stop pullin' my leg. Gas will never go that high."
Lily laughed. "Will, too." She stopped for a moment, wondering whether or not revealing too much about her time would affect this one. Then again, it was a video game universe...
"Alright, honey, tell me more about your world later." Removing the dissected MP3 player from the vice, the Engineer handed it back to Lily. "First, we need to talk 'bout this thing a' yours."
"Oh?"
"Mind explainin' a little 'bout it? Unfortunately, I wasn't able to listen to anythin' on it."
"Yeah, because you need a set of headphones plugged into it for any sound to come out." Reaching for the jack of her headphones, which still hung loose around her neck, Lily plugged it into the bottom of her Zune, before turning the device around. She sighed. Of course - the faceplate had been removed, as well as a billion other pieces to the interior. Lily tapped herself on the forehead with the heel of her palm. "Duh, you took this thing apart. It won't play now."
To this, the Engineer laughed nervously. "I thought as much. I think I know how to put it back together, but with something that small, I doubt it'll work again."
"...Why did you even take it apart, if you knew that I wouldn't be able to get it to work for you? Kinda makes the original reason for my trip down here invalid now, don't it?"
"Do you think after what happened yesterday I was in any condition to use logic?" He cocked his eyebrow at Lily, who had furrowed her own.
"Uhm, Engie, for someone with PhD's up the wazoo, I would've thought-"
"Hush up, Lil'. I did this at three this mornin'. I was tired, dammit." The Engineer leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "And please, call me Theo. We're not on the battlefield."
"...Theo?"
"Short for Theodore. My real name."
...Holy shit, they do have names! "Aw!" Lily's emerald eyes lit up. "Like Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks!"
Once again, that three-heads stare. "...Yeah, just like him." This girl is far too immature to be workin' for the other team...
"...Please tell me that you know wh-"
"Yeah, I know what the Chipmunks are. They were created in the 50s."
"Oh, thank god!" Lily let out a sigh, followed by a short burst of laughter. "Please don't take offense to that. Y'know, me instantly going to a cartoon reference after hearing your name. I am twenty, but I have the attention span of a squirrel and the mentality of a ten-year-old most of the time. Blame my Peter Pan complex..." She scratched the back of her head, a nervous expression on her face.
After a minute, the Engineer chuckled, shaking his head. "No worries, honey," he said. "Your youth is somethin' you gotta hold onto for as long as you can. But while you're here, ya gotta put that side of ya away. We are at war, y'know."
"I know that. Alright, new question: where do I fit into this whole war thing? Am I gonna have to appeal to the Administrator or something, because that woman scares me."
"Well, seein' as how she hasn't had any of us, or her assistant, bring you to her, I guess she's...strangely...in support of you bein' here. Of course, it'll get a bit difficult just makin' you hide back at the barracks or wherever else."
"Don't tell me I'm gonna have to join you guys on the battlefield..." Lily's eyes went wide. She didn't know what was more accurate: the fact that she might actually get the chance to fight in her favorite video game, or the fact that she was close to soiling her underwear in anxiety and fear just thinking about fighting in her favorite video game.
"Please. I doubt you know how to use a gun or have any mercenary trainin', darlin'. We'll find someway to keep you sa-"
"Whoa, whoa, and whoa! I'm not some powderpuff; I know how to use a gun, Theo. My dad happens to hunt...and be big into self-defense..."
"What guns have you used before?"
"Nothing like that behemoth, Heavy, uses, that's for sure, but I have handled a shotgun and a pistol before."
"How fast are you with reloadin' ammo?"
"Clumsily slow."
Pressing his face into his palm, the Engineer sighed. "Yeah, don't think we're gonna be seein' much of ya on the battlefield, honey. You puttin' yourself out there would just be suicide."
"Yeah, maybe you're ri-"
"ATTENTION RED TEAM, THE BLUS ARE MOVING IN ON YOUR SETTLEMENT POINTS ON THE FASTLANE. REPORT THERE IMMEDIATELY!"
"Well, shit." Even in the face of danger, Lily never failed to be randomly deadpan.
"Aw, dammit," the Engineer hissed, standing up from his seat. Heading toward the door, he wrapped his large hand around Lily's wrist, which seemed as thin as a beer bottle's neck to him, and pulled her out. "C'mon, Lil'. We gotta get you back in the barracks." The two then rushed out into the Badland climate once again, Lily thankful that she was being pulled in the right direction this time.
As the two entered the building, Lily looked up just in time to see the Medic and Heavy run past them, almost knocking her over in the process. She was about to yell out a complaint, but after receiving a quick call of "Sorry, fräulein!" from the Medic, Lily let it go.
Looking down at the young girl, the Engineer hesitated taking her straight back to the barracks, and instead led her to a closet to one side of the 'foyer.' Pulling out a set of keys, he fumbled for the right one before opening it and walking in. Looking around for a few moments, he finally found what he wanted and pulled them out. It was a Scattergun and a pouch full of rounds, which found themselves in Lily's grasp. To her surprise, the double-barreled weapon conformed to her long arms, and wasn't all that heavy. Looking up, she saw the Engineer motion for her to follow him. They quickly headed down a long hallway of empty rooms, clear of any other inhabitants, before the Engineer began to speak.
"Alright, listen up," he said sternly, though Lily could see the man was beginning to panic, "I think by now you know what this thing is, right?"
"Yeah, a Scattergun. Fires ten bullets a shot, right?"
"Got it. Now listen: if any BLUs come around these parts, you get into one of the rooms and hide. The Administrator will alert us if that happens, but until then, we won't know when to send someone to come and get you. Worst comes to worst, you use that; it's already loaded for you." He pointed to the Scattergun. "...Actually, if you here someone coming, either way just open fire on 'em if they find ya. This weapon is designed for the RED team, so we won't get hurt. The only reason I'm sayin' this is that you never know when a Spy could come around here."
"...A S-Spy...?!" Lily's face turned pale.
"Yeah. Stay away from the doors, and if ya see someone, get away from the windows. If I get word of intrusion from the Administrator, I'll come runnin' to get ya. 'Kay? If I can't, I'll send someone else."
Lily only nodded. Talk of a Spy finding her and taking advantage of her gullibility absolutely terrified her, and made most of whatever else the Engineer told her go in one ear and come out the other. At least it was a breath of fresh air to hear that, true to the game, friendly fire didn't do anything to anyone on the RED team. Or rather, her team.
"Engie, get ya ass in geyah! Leave the chick; we gotta get outside!"
The two turned around to see the Scout, hat tucked under his arm, headset hanging around his neck, pulling on the last of his shoes while trying to get past them and head out to the battlefield. Obviously, he still had a hard time taking any kind of orders seriously when it got in the way of sleeping in, even from the Administrator herself. Managing to get the shoe on, the Scout now could utilize both of his feet better and stepped on the gas. Then unfortunately, with one careless side step, he came tumbling down to the ground, landing on his face. This sort of thing would normally make Lily burst out in laughter, except that now, she was too scared to even think.
"Son-of-a-bitch!" Hopping back up, his cheeks flaring red with embarrassment, the Scout growled and ran out of the building, ready to exercise his taunting abilities to the point of exhaustion.
"He's right." Sighing, the Engineer turned back to the girl. "Remember what I told ya. I'm pretty sure you have nothin' to worry about, but still. I'll try and get up enough Sentries so no one can get to ya."
Lily only nodded once again. Knowing that he had emotionally corrupted the young girl enough, the Engineer sighed and headed off toward the exit. "Don't do anythin' stupid, Lil'!"
If the young track rat was fully mentally conscious, she would have mustered up some sort of comeback or physical act of immaturity. But, no. There wasn't any room for jokes now. If any of the BLUs came by the area, Lily was as good as dead. After gaining control of her legs again, she ran into the first room she came to, relieved to find that the door was unlocked. And for good reason: it was completely empty, a solemn wooden bed frame in the corner appearing as if it had been collecting dust for years. The view from the room's window seemed quite useful, as she could see the others running toward a rather large structure out in the distance, with the Engineer trailing behind. A small smile curled over her lips as she spotted the Sniper's camper van stop near the Engineer, allowing him to get in and get to the Fastlane quicker.
"That's cute," Lily said, placing the Scattergun down at her feet. She leaned back against the painted concrete wall, and soon joined her weapon as her rear met the cold floor. Her flat hair hung in front of her face, which she pushed back lazily. "Who the hell plays TF2 at nine-thirty on a Sunday...?"
Looking down, she picked up her weapon again and placed it in her lap, the cool metal smooth against her fingertips. An actual Scattergun... Grinning a bit, Lily gripped the handle with her right hand, index finger resting against the trigger, while her left hand supported the barrels. "Huh...wonder how pressure-sensitive the tri-"
BANG! Lily cringed, feeling the blast of the Scattergun as it went off with barely a caress on the trigger. Her green eyes opened and widened in panic as she looked across the room at the door, now decorated in bullet holes. "...What the fucking fuck? It's that sensitive?!" Pulling her finger away, she set the weapon back down on the ground carefully, as if it were full of combustible chemicals. Groaning, she tilted her head back, letting it rest against the wall.
"I'm so royally boned..."
Uh-ohs! Lily's all alone! Sorry about the long chapter of not that much stuff; I'm still trying to think of a reasonable way to get Lily out onto the battlefield. She's not gonna be hiding for too much longer, I promise you that. Please send all feedback and reviews posthaste!