Disclaimer: Same as always; I do not own Yugioh. All rights belong to Kazuki Takahashi.

Notes: Thank you again for your reviews! I hope I'm not disappointing anyone out there.

Chapter Six: Yami Bakura and the Pet Shop of Horrors!

After his unfortunate meeting with the boomerang, Bakura awoke to find that he was strapped down to the backseat of Yami's car. Normally that would fall under his "nothing I can't wriggle out of" category, but Yami had installed extra belts and had used every last one of them to keep the thief from escaping. It appeared he would just have to sit tight until another opportunity presented itself…which would be much more bearable if Malik wasn't singing along to the radio, highly out of tune…

"Ugh! Would you stop that infernal racket?!"

Malik was ready to protest, but stopped when he realized who was speaking to him. "Kurakins! You're alive! I'm so happy!" He cheered before nuzzling up to a traumatized Bakura.

"Of course I'm alive, you fool! Why wouldn't I be?!"

Malik looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "Because...that scary thing flew back toward you, and when Yami went upstairs to see what happened, you were lying on the floor! I thought you were gone for good...wahhhhhhh!!!!!"

"Oh, for the love of Ra!"

Bakura tried moving the sobbing blonde off of him, but gave up when he realized there was no way to make the little pest let go.

Ugh! My plan was going perfectly! I was so close to killing that porcupine-haired imbecile and getting out of this mess!

/Actually, you were about three seconds away from being sent to the Shadow Realm for the rest of eternity./

Bakura nearly jumped at the sound of his hikari's voice. In his haste to get Malik off of him, he had forgotten to block the mental link that he shared with Ryou. Nevertheless, perhaps now would be a good time to get some answers as to what had caused his minor "miscalculation."

Assuming I have you to thank for saving me, I want some answers!He demanded curtly, clearly not in any mood to let Ryou think he was happy about the entire affair.

As always, the younger duelist remained unfazed. /What would you like to know?/

Well, for starters, why didn't you tell me that contraption could be manipulated by the enemy?!

/What are you talking about?/

That...that thing! The one I used to try and kill the Pharaoh with!

/As I said before you were knocked unconscious, that thing is called a boomerang. It wasn't manipulated; it's supposed to return to the person who throws it./

So you mean to tell me that it has a mind of its own?!

/No yami.../ Ryou sighed. This was going to be complicated. /It's hard for me to explain.../

Well, try!

/Very well. When a boomerang is thrown into the air, its shape causes it to return to the user. It originated in Australia, but most people use it as a toy rather than a weapon, nowadays./

Well, I can see why! The bloody thing's deadly to the user as well as the enemy! Hmph! Give me a dagger or a machine gun any day! Speaking of which...if I make it through this little endeavor, you and I have some shopping to do!

/Whatever you say, yami./

Bakura grinned madly as he began a mental list of all the weapons he would be buying while Ryou's attention was drawn back to the scenery. Even if something eerily similar to his nightmare had come true, perhaps something positive would come out of it in the end...

"Yayyyyy!!! We're finally here!" Malik squealed in delight as Yami pulled into a parking space.

On the other hand...

"Come on Kura! It's time to see the Easter Bunny!!"

"See? How about shoot?"

Bakura met the Pharaoh's gaze in the mirror, but the expression the other spirit wore was far from humored.

"Fine! We get to see the Easter Bunny..." Bakura growled as he waited for Malik to climb off of him. Once everyone was out of the car, Yami locked the doors and led them into the mall.

Just as Bakura had suspected, there were people everywhere. Lines trailed out of stores that never seemed to end, while kids darted through the various crowds, chasing each other or running to get a closer look at the Easter Bunny. The mere atmosphere was almost more than he could bear. Everyone was just too damn cheerful!

Apparently, the atmosphere seemed to have an effect on Malik, as well. If he was hyper before, he was even more so now. "Look at all the people! And the Bunny too!" He screamed, jumping onto Bakura's back to get a better view, much to the spirit's discomfort.

"So where do you wanna go first?" Yugi asked the blonde cheerfully.

Malik grinned and proceeded to hold two pieces of Bakura's hair up to represent rabbit ears. "To the Easter Bunny, of course!"

"Well, lead the way..." Yami smiled, clearly enjoying the look on his rival's face. Now if only I had a camera...heh heh!

With another growl, Bakura trudged off toward a line of people that he assumed were waiting to see the Easter Bunny. Yugi, Yami, and Ryou followed close behind and nearly crashed into him when he came to an abrupt halt. "What is it, Bakura?" Yugi asked.

The former tomb robber had gone quite pale and was staring in shock at a sign that was posted above a candy store. It read: ALL JELLY BEANS HALF OFF!! BUY ONE BAG, GET ONE FREE!!" If Malik saw that sign…

"Er…nothing…I'm just a little dizzy from the fall before, that's all. Perhaps we should go this way to get to the Bunny; it's less crowded than-"

"JELLY BEANS!!!!!!!!!!!"

Malik shrieked so loud that the noise from the crowds fell to a light murmur. As if he had been placed in a trance, Malik began treating the two pieces he held of Bakura's hair as if they were controls on a robot. "MUST. HAVE. JELLY. BEANS!!!! Well, what are you waiting for?! GO!!!!" He yelled, yanking Bakura's hair in all sorts of directions to get him moving. Yami Yugi almost pitied the poor thief. Almost.

Bakura staggered into the store, with Yugi and the others following close behind. He hoped one of them had money on them…otherwise; he was in danger of being torn to pieces. Malik swayed back and forth as he looked in all the barrels of candy. Although this caused Bakura to bump into half the customers in the store, the stubborn thief refused to apologize. There was only so much he could be forced to do, and apologizing was definitely not one of those things.

"Ah ha! There! In the corner! Hurry Kura! We have to get to them before anyone else does!" Malik proclaimed as he continued to yank the thief's hair in eight different directions.

"That's easier said than done, you know! Look at all the people in here!"

"I DON'T CARE!! GET ME THOSE JELLY BEANS!"

"Alright! Alright!"

Bakura made his way over to the barrel full of jelly beans as best he could, but a crowd of children came in right before he could reach it. By the time he actually got through, the bags of jelly beans were gone.

Dear Ra…I fear this will be the end of me…

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!! KURAKINS!!!! THERE'S NONE LEFT!!!!!"

"Now Malik, this is no time to panic! I'm sure we can find some more jelly beans somewhere else!"

"Oh yeah?! Are you sure?"

"Yes! All we have to do is look!" Suddenly, an idea dawned on him. "Isn't that right, Pharaoh?" Yami had been looking around at all the various sorts of candy, and hadn't been paying much attention to the conversations around him. That was all Bakura needed to trick him into taking Malik off his hands.

"Well, Pharaoh? Surely you know of other places…" the spirit continued patiently.

"Sorry, what?"

"Malik wants jelly beans and there aren't any left here. I was just saying that all we have to do is look somewhere else for them. Surely you know of a place that might carry them?"

"Oh, um, yes…of course." The look in Bakura's eyes made Yami nervous. "Good! It's settled then! Malik, you go with Yami to get some jelly beans!"

Before the Pharaoh could protest, Bakura set Malik down on the ground and made his way quickly to the exit. Yami turned to look at the pouting boy in front of him. Bakura wouldn't be getting away with this for long. He would make sure of that.

"Well then," He cleared his throat and motioned for Yugi and Ryou to come over to where he was standing, "We had better hurry. We wouldn't want anyone else getting those jelly beans, now would we?"

Malik eagerly shook his head 'no' and jumped on Yami's back. Grabbing a fistful of the pharaoh's hair, he sighed. "Well, it's not very maneuverable, but it'll do."

"I'm so glad…" Yami muttered.

Outside of the store, and walking as fast as he could away from it, Bakura cackled loudly. Now that Malik was out of the way, he could focus his attention on something more important. Like getting out of the mall without being noticed by the others as they left to look for Malik's candy.

Obviously, he couldn't take the main way out so he would have to find an exit through one of the stores around him. After all, what store didn't have an exit to the staff parking lot at the side of the mall? From there, it would only be a short walk to the main parking lot, where he could find Yami's car and hotwire it to escape.

Scanning over the names of the stores closest to him, Bakura ducked into a small pet shop. The others would never think to look for him here; they knew how much he hated animals that didn't have the potential to poison or kill at whim.

As soon as the clerk's attention was drawn elsewhere, he jumped over the counter and ran into the back room that led out to the parking lot. Sadly, he had forgotten to check for other employees before entering the room and was shoved right back out by a stock manager.

"Looks like I'll just have to wait a little longer. And if all else fails, they can go take a nice coffee break in the Shadow Realm!"

"Meow?"

Bakura looked down to find that one of the kittens had gotten out of its cage and was rubbing up against his legs. First Malik, and now this little ball of fuzz! He just couldn't understand it. Why did every creature that was starving for attention come to him?! Maybe a nice death glare would make it go away…

"Meow! Meow!" If anything, it encouraged the kitten, which was now sharpening its claws on his legs.

"Oww! Quit that you stupid furball!!"

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because the next thing he knew, the kitten's teeth were sinking deep into his leg.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Hopping from foot to foot, Bakura tried to shake the offending creature off of him, but that only caused the kitten to dig its claws into his leg to hold on. "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! GET OFF OF ME YOU MANGY FELINE!!!!"

Well, so much for being discreet…

By the time Malik had gotten himself situated on Yami's back, Bakura had already disappeared out of the Pharaoh's line of sight. Not that it mattered; the Thief caused trouble wherever he went, so it was only a matter of time before screams betrayed his location. With this in mind, Yami decided to be mature and make the best of the situation by calmly walking out into the main area of the mall to look for another candy store. As Yugi and Ryou chatted happily between themselves, Yami made sure to keep an ear out for screams of anguish and outrage.

Needless to say, he wasn't disappointed.

From inside a seemingly harmless little pet shop screams of anguish and outrage could indeed be heard. But not coming from innocent customers; from the devil himself.

Yami stopped and watched in horrified fascination as Bakura thrashed around and whacked his leg against various shelving units full of canned pet food. Well, that looks painful…

Maybe this little trip to the mall hadn't been such a good idea. In all honesty, Yami had only wanted to make Bakura see that he could not be defeated. Yugi had come up with the idea, stating that if Yami gave Bakura a nightmare and then made it come true, maybe Bakura would stop his antics once and for all. It truly was the perfect plan. That is, until now. It looked like the other spirit had finally snapped. Well, if he was going to rid the world of his presence, Yami had to make sure he didn't take half of the pet store with him.

"Bakura? What are you doing?" he asked as he entered the store. The crazed spirit whirled around to look at him. "What…what am I doing?"

"…Yes, I believe that was the question I just asked."

"Don't you see the furry abomination attached to my leg?!" Yugi and Ryou followed Yami's gaze to said leg, only to find a few holes in Bakura's pants.

"Um…yami? What are you talking about?" Ryou asked cautiously, noting the dangerous glint in Bakura's eye.

"The psycho kitten that's trying to bite my leg off!"

"Bakura, there's nothing there. Are you sure you weren't hallucinating?" Yugi asked sheepishly.

"Yes, I'm sure!"

"Then where is it?"

Bakura looked down to show them, but all he saw were the holes it had made. "I'm telling you it was right there just a minute ago!"

"Okay, yami…" Ryou replied with a look of feigned understanding. "Don't look at me like that! I'm not crazy! It was THERE, damn it!"

"Maybe you should sit down…" Yami suggested. Bakura glared daggers at him. "I don't need to sit down! I'm perfectly fine standing up, thank you very much!"

"Then you won't mind carrying Malik again while I check the Directory for another candy store." With that said, Yami let Malik get down from his back and run over to the twitching thief. Bakura was livid. He was right back at square one. He thought of trying to toss Malik off the same way he did the kitten, but then remembered what had happened in his dream. He had gone through enough ordeals to last a lifetime, and getting puked on was not one he wanted to add to the ever-growing list.

/I see you're staying put, yami…finally tired of trying to escape?/ Ryou chuckled softly through their link.

Oh just shut up, will you?! This won't last forever, you know! I'll find a way out of this, yet! And when I do, I'll make sure all of you pay for it!

/Sorry yami, but if you haven't gotten out of this yet, I wouldn't hold out much hope. You know, it's a pity you don't realize that you just can't win. That's all Yami wants…to make you realize that you can't defeat him./

Ha! You don't know him as I do, Hikari! He's a vicious little sadist!

/Really? I thought that was your department./

Oooh…very cheeky, Ryou. You get a gold star. No, you nitwit! He's doing this to me because he enjoys it!!

/You're hopeless yami, you know that? He's FED UP. He's sick of you trying to outsmart him. Think of it as one of life's little lessons. Sometimes, you just can't win./

I refuse to accept that!

/So how many more years will it take? 3,000?/

Why you insolent little…arghhh!!!! Since when did you become so…so…damned unsympathetic?!

/Yami Malik and Yami Yugi hold classes every Saturday night./

WHAT?!

/Well, I was going to invite you but Yami Malik said that you'd be insulted./

And you listened to him?!

/Well…yes?/

I give up!

/Really? Great! I'll go tell Yami the good news!/

Wait! No! That's not what I meant!

/What's that, yami? Sorry, I think our link is getting some kind of interference from the ring. I'll be back in a few minutes, so you can say whatever is on your mind then, mmkay?/

And with that, Ryou left to tell Yami the "good" news.

End of Chapter!

Notes: Poor Bakura…and to think, he hasn't even met the bunny yet…

Bakura: WHAT?!

Er? Did I say that? I meant…um…popcorn's ready?