Red vs. Blue vs. Soul
A Red vs. Blue/Soul Calibur Crossover fan-fic
Red vs. Blue belongs to Rooster Teeth; Halo belongs to Bungie and 343 Studios
Soul Calibur belongs to Namco/Project Soul
I know I was getting up to a climatic part in the previous chapter, but the plan is (or has been) that each chapter will have either the Reds or Blues start in it in some odd adventure before eventually meeting up somewhere in the middle of the story. But don't worry, the next chap will get to Wash and how he handles the catfight ^^
Caboose: Kitties? Where - I wanna pet a kitty! Where are the kitties?
Me (sweat-drops): Uh...Caboose, You and I need to have a talk...a LONG talk. And I don't think Tucker and Wash are in the mood for ya...
Chapter VI – Yo-Ho-No
(The Sea of Japan – On board a small fishing vessel, the Reds and their newfound ally sail westward to begin their quest to slay the dreaded-sounding "Azure Knight". While Taki sits in a meditative state inside the cabin, Sarge, Grif, and Simmons sit outside to see the view…although Simmons is more hanging off the railing, feeling not quite so well…)
Sarge (near the hull of the ship): Aaah…Never like the saltiness of the great blue sea to bulker your spirits… (Turns to Grif and Simmons) Ya know – I never told anyone this, but, my great-great-granddaddy used to be a sailor and pirate – a darn good one too…or least he thought was 'til the authorities arrested 'im for not having a license to swash-buckle apparently. But, more to the point, sea-faring is deep in my blood…which is second to my hatred for Blues. And my hatred for you.
Grif: That…is a lot…of bull.
Sarge: Shut up Grif. You're not a hearty son of the sea...
Simmons (moaning from illness): Oooh…
Grif (to Simmons; confused): What's with you? You're looking kinda…green. Are you sea-sick?
Simmons: No – I'm hanging over the rail to spot any cuddly dolphins swimming by.
Grif: There are dolphins in Japan?
Simmons: No you jack-ass, there's not. And I am sea-sick for your information…Deathly sea-sick. (Groans)
Grif: Sheesh, didn't need to get harsh there.
Sarge: Grif! Go into the cabin and check on Taki – I'll stay out here to see if Simmons starts blowin' chunks…
Simmons (interrupt with a groan): Oooh…Don't say 'blowing chunks'…It only makes it worst… (Groans again)
Sarge (continues unfazed to Grif): Which you will get clean up if any gets on the boat.
Grif: WHAT? That's complete bull!
Sarge: Shut up Grif – Or I'll have you walk the plank.
Grif: There's no plank on this ship…
Sarge: What, no plank? Well…Guess I'll just throw ya overboard then.
Grif: …You are such a dick.
Sarge: Shut up – and get movin'.
Grif: (Grumbles to self and heads towards cabin)
Sarge: Now that's taken of… (Turns to Simmons) Simmons, ya feelin' better yet?
Simmons (groans): That's a negative…(Groans louder) I think a kidney's coming up...
(Meanwhile Grif has entered to check up on the kunochi - female ninja inside the cabin...)
Taki: (Meditating quietly)
Grif (enters): Yo Taki!
Taki (now annoyed): Mmmm...
Grif (looks down): Ah...What the hell are you doing...?
Taki: I'm meditating...Or, at least I was until you walked in with your fat gut...
Grif: First off - Isn't meditating part of that fag thing called yoga? And second...I'M NOT FUCKIN' FAT YOU NINJA WHORE! This armor just makes me look like it!
Taki: (Holds back a sneer but eyes show tints of anger at comment)
Grif: Anyway, Sarge sent me in just to check up on ya.
Taki: I see...How's your friend, Simmons?
Grif: Uh...He's...been better.
Taki: (Stares blankly at Grif)
Grif: Ok-Ok...He's feeling that he's going to hurl. Hell, he's even hanging off the railing 'cause of it - There, you happy?
Taki: Hmm...I pray the kami (Gods/spirits) of the sea will make our voyage to land a quick and safe one. And for your friend's well-being.
Grif: Uh...Yeah. Whatever.
(Before more words could get exchanged by the duo, suddenly the loud voice of Sarge barked from outside...)
Sarge (outside): Grif! Get your darn butt out here this instant! It's an emergency!
Grif (grumbles to self): What the fuck does he want now...(Exits cabin to check outside) What's the deal now...?
Sarge (pointing to the horizon): Take a look!
(Out of deep annoyance and confusion, the orange-armored soldier approaches the front of the ship to see what was the source of the commotion. A few minutes of looking out in the horizon, Grif suddenly eyes another vessel moving towards them)
Grif: What the hell...Is that...another boat?
Simmons (still hanging over the railing): And that would be the correct answer, genius...
Grif: Go to hell Simmons. (To Sarge) Think they could be friendlies?
Sarge: How the hell should I know? I don't have an idea what to do...
Simmons: Maybe if we can get closer, maybe we can find out...
Sarge (somehow ignores): Wait, I got it! Maybe we should get closer to see for ourselves.
Simmons: But...But that was...Oh, never mind.
Grif: That is the dumbest idea I have every heard all day...
Sarge: Shut up Grif! I didn't hear you coming up with anything!
(But even as the duo spoke and somewhat began to agrue, the other ship was already drawing closer to their own with each passing minute.)
Grif & Sarge: (agruing their asses off)
Simmons (notices that the other ship is almost very close to them): Uh...guys?
Grif & Sarge: (Not listening; still bickering)
Simmons: Guys...
(The second vessel is now next to their own ship..._
Simmons (yells): GODDAMNIT! LOOK!
Grif & Sarge: (becomes startled; turn to see the other ship) HOLY CRAP!
Grif (now a bit nervous): Uh...(To Sarge) Say something...
Sarge (also a wee nervous): Uh...Right. (Yells out) Uh...Ahoy there! Is everybody there...?
(No answer comes from the ship...)
Sarge (getting a bit annoyed): Hey, I said 'Ahoy!'
(Still no answer from the other boat...)
Sarge: Damnit - If you ain't goin' to answer, then I'll kick your damn ass to come out here!
(Only silence once more...)
Grif: I'm guessing...that there's no-body on board. (Shrugs) Well, guess we can sail on then...
(But just as Grif turns away to return to his own business, suddenly a series of grappling hooks were hurled from the 2nd craft and attached themselves to the fishing boat's railing.)
Simmons (jumping back): What the hell?
Grif (sees; becomes scared): Uh...Sarge?
Sarge: Whoa boy...
(Soon what followed was then a large band of armed thug-like characters began to board onto the fishing ship; some armed with daos (Chinese sabers) and dadaos (Chinese greatswords)while others had arrow-loaded bows in hand and a few carried kwandaos (Chinese halberds). Before the Reds knew what was going on, they soon find themselves surrounded by the revealed pirates who seem quite steamed over something...*hint-hint*)
Grif (murmurs): They look pissed as hell...
Sarge: Can it Grif! (To pirates) Uh...Listen, 'bout that part of kickin' your asses...It was really just a joke. Eh-eh? Come on, you guys look like ya can take a little joke...
Pirates: (growl; take a step closer)
Simmons (sweat-drops): I don't they can take one...
Sarge: Can't take a joke? Well then... (Draws out his katana and readies himself) Then I guess I'll just cut to the punchline. (To Grif and Simmons) Get it?
Simmons: (Sweat-drops)
Grif: Are you crazy? That was a horribly bad pun that you should never use ever again and second...You want to fight those guys? If you haven't noticed already...We're freakin' outnumbered here!
Simmons (pull out kamas): Wow Grif - I never knew you as such a negative guy.
Grif: I'm not being negative...I'M BEING THE ONLY COMPLETELY SANE ONE AROUND HERE!
(Before anyone could exchange more comments, suddenly a sword-armed pirate charges at Sarge; blade rised to strike. However the Red soldier quickly maneuvers his own weapon to block and lands a quick kick on the villian's gut. The pirate stumbles into two of his fellows and all three soon fall back on the floor.)
Sarge: Who's next?
(Growls answer the Red's taunt and soon more pirates hurled themselves towards the encircled trio. Simmons quickly swung his kamas in fierce arcs; knocking a couple of the crooks to the ground. Sarge follows up with a few slashes along with a few kicks and punches - even sending one pirate flying overboard. However in the midst of chaos, Grif sneaks away to hide behind a barell on the deck.)
Grif (to himself): Better Sarge and Simmons than me...I don't even know how the hell to use my chain-thing! Well...(Pulls out a bottle of sake somehow) At least I got some time to drink...
(But as Grif was about to take a sip, an arrow launched from some unknown assailant zips trhough the air and in a blink of an eye, shatters the held bottle.)
Grif (startled): M-My...My sake...That was my last bottle...(Suddenly fire erupt in his eyes) You...fucking...BASTARDS...! That was my last bottle and you broke it! (Unwraps the manriki from his torso and begins to whip it around) DIE YOU SAKE-HATING ASSWIPES! (Unleashes crazed swings of death upon some poor pirates nearby; knocking a few overboard and knocking out a couple. Soon Grif leapt on the majority of the enemy and revealed somewhat a terrible berserker side that was supposedly cooped up for quite some time.)
Simmons and Sarge: (Watch the carnage unfold blankly though with a bit of surprise)
(After a horrifying minute-and-a-half, the figures of injured...or maybe just plain dead criminals lay all over the deck while Grif pants heavily with his manriki on the floor. Simmons and Srage continued to merely stare.)
Simmons: What...in God's name was that...?
Grif (now calm): Crap...There goes those four years in anger management...
Sarge: Only four?
Grif: Yes - it was four you jackass. I had...temper problems when I was a kid.
Simmons: ...I'm now afraid to ask.
Sarge: Now that's over, let's get back on course! Grif - you get to mop the poop deck.
Grif: WHAT? That's bull!
Sarge: Just shut up and do it...
Grif: (Grumbles to self as he walks off to grab his supplies)