Disclaimer: i would like to own some sort of motivation mentor in the shape of Alexander Skarsgard. i would like to own a laptop that doesn't take an hour to load a word document. i would like to own the brain of the guy who writes White Collar. BUT I DON'T. I OWN NOTHING.
Peyton's dream was currently featuring herself on the arm of a very handsome stranger, at a very nice hotel she'd been to once for a Plomox conference, swanning around in black satin, with something awesome in her glass, dancing to the sounds of her pager beeping- wait what? She sat straight up, almost bashing her head on the bunk above and blinked around in the darkness. The clock in the on-call room showed four thirty am, she groaned, she'd been asleep for two and a half hours. Blindly she reached for her pager, scowling at whoever it was and- oh christ.
She yanked on her shoes and leapt from the room, taking the stairs two at a time. Her hair went back into a ponytail and in seconds she was wide awake again. She raced through the sliding doors of the paeds unit, following the shouts coming from room twelve eighteen. Inside a nurse was trying to stem bleeding whilst one of her damn foolish interns was babbling nonsense.
"What the hell happened?"
"Dr Lively's central line was inserted incorrectly-"
Peyton widened her eyes incredulously, "you attempted a central line without supervision?"
"I-"
"Save it," she said shortly, stepping in as one of the nurses passed her gloves. "God this is exactly why I didn't want interns," she muttered as her fingers flew across the patients collar bone, "it's like having children but without the satisfaction of eventually feeling some sort of pride in them-"
"I'm sorry, I'm so-"
"Be quiet!" She continued ranting as she worked, "and occasionally you're actually fond of your children, there's mutual affection once in a while, some damn respect!"
"Heart rates coming back up Doctor Sawyer- pulse is steady."
She straightened up and took a moment to check on the patient Carrie- who fortunately seemed to have slept through the disaster- before nodding at the nurses and turning to leave. She gestured for Lively to follow her outside.
The faint beeping from the monitors faded as Peyton stalked down the corridor, ripping off her gloves as she did so. Unbelievable. Un-freaking-believable.
"You had absolutely no right to perform that kind of procedure without my presence," she snapped to the left as Lively tried to keep up.
The younger doctor looked sheet white and shocked, blood staining her scrubs and hands, "I'm sorry, I- god I thought I could manage."
Peyton shook her head, her eyes flashing with anger as she glanced at her, "that's your problem, you don't think. You seem to be under the impression that paeds is like a free ride where everything's rainbows and sunshine and it damn well isn't. If you make a mistake these kids plummet in half the time an adult would and you barely had time to page me before she was crashing."
"I'm sorry-" Lively began again but Peyton wasn't finished.
"In this unit I don't just say my word is law because I like the power trip, I say it so you don't make foolish mistakes and risk patient's lives. You might have had recommendations from the likes of Saltzman and Stackhouse but you are not prepared to deal with children by yourself. Just what gave you the idea you could go in there and attempt to kill my patient in the first place?"
"Dr Scott said I-"
"What?" She stopped walking, slowly turning to face Dr Lively, "Doctor Scott?"
"Yes he-"
"Doctor Scott said what exactly?"
Still looking apologetic Dr Lively merely chewed on her bottom lip and failed to say anything. Peyton put a hand on her hip, "use. your. words. Doctor."
"He said there wouldn't be a problem with me being able to do a few simple procedures tonight while he was on call."
Peyton narrowed her eyes, "he's on call tonight?"
"Yes... Look please Doctor Sawyer I really thought I could handle it-"
"Doctor Lively," she held up a hand, "enough, please. You are not to do anything else tonight, go home, be back for rounds at eight sharp and I will deal with you then." She began to turn away when she caught Lively start to well up, oh god, she rolled her eyes inwardly and turned back.
Shit.
She hesitated; what were you supposed to say when an intern cried? If it was Rachel she'd buy tequila, Nathan she'd mock mercilessly and well, anybody else she'd run away screaming. Awkwardly she shifted on her feet, did she pat her on the arm? On the head?
She sighed, "get some sleep Doctor, you can begin again tomorrow."
The young intern stared up at her and Peyton gave her a brief smile, brief ok? Before nodding and turning away, there was after all, a limit to how nice she could be when she was pissed.
And she was pissed.
Just who the hell did this guy think he was sailing in and giving her interns ideas above their capabilities? Pushing them before they were ready- hell Peyton had learnt the hard way never to apply pressure before you could handle it- and Lucas was unbelievable thinking he could instruct her interns. This wasn't the army; when there was time for them to learn first, you waited for god's sake.
She slammed back the second on-call room door and flipped the light. Lucas sat bolt upright, swearing and flailing about in the sheets.
"What the fuck?"
"I certainly hope that's not how you reacted with roll call overseas Doctor Scott, very inefficient of you."
Lucas rubbed his eyes and scowled up at her, "what are you doing in here?"
"Never mind what I'm doing, just what the hell do you think you're doing giving my interns false belief in their own abilities?"
"Oh god, is this about me telling Lively she could do a central line? Did I need to clear something like that with you? I was right down the hall- if she'd had a problem she could have come and got me."
"But she didn't! She failed to lead the guide into the correct place, let my patient lose massive amounts of blood and then paged me- the doctor she should have been in there with in the first place!"
Lucas sighed; burying a sleepy head in his hands and no part of her thought he looked adorable.
At all.
"I apologise," he said, slightly hoarsely, "I was under the impression she was more capable than she obviously was."
"You had no right to tell her anything or to be under any impression Doctor Scott- she is my intern. This isn't a joke, you can't run around like you own this place or thinking you have any authority- these are patients' lives and you put one of mine at risk today."
Lucas stood up suddenly, narrowly avoiding bashing his head on the bunk frame as he straightened to his full height. He didn't tower over her but he definitely had an advantage as he leant towards her, "I had no idea your intern was incapable of handling something as simple as a central line Doctor Sawyer. I would suggest that becomes something you rectify immediately."
Did he just say that to her? Seriously?
"-And thank you but I am well aware of how serious this is; I do work here as well."
She scoffed, turning on the spot towards the door, "you've worked here less than two weeks, you have no right to sign off on anything for any one of my patients."
"Hey," he caught her arm, suddenly seriously close, "believe it or not but I do have the same qualifications as you and correction but if I wanted to I could write off on any one of your case files- just as you could write off on one of mine." He leant even closer and she felt her breath hitch as she met his eyes, "I've been saving lives for just as long as you, maybe even longer and yet I have no problem working in this hospital with you. What you need to figure out is why the hell you have such a problem with me."
She yanked her arm away, "I don't have a problem with you; just stay away from my interns and my patients."
Lucas sighed and leant against the bunk, ruffling his hair, "you got a real issue with trust, you know that?"
"No," she said shortly, "I just trust people who don't have cavalier attitudes when it comes to patient care."
"I don't!" He yelled after her as she shot out of the door.
Double shit.
She hadn't meant to lose her cool like that with him. The plan had been to go in and simply tell him in no uncertain terms was he to encourage interns to perform solo procedures but no; she'd had to go in and screech at him. Fuck, he probably thought she was some kind of neurotic psychopath.
Well, she shrugged to herself; it wasn't like she cared anyway. The guy was rude and inconsiderate and he had dared to claim she had an issue with trust? Which was just not true! He should just ask Rachel. Maybe. On second thoughts Rachel might stick a fork in his eye if he dared to ask her something personal, or speak to her at all even.
She was a good friend.
Ugh and she was still thinking about him and the fact he apparently slept in a battered grey wife beater and scrubs and damn if it hadn't looked half bad. She dropped back into her own bunk, cursing her brain for not immediately dismissing him and rolled onto her side. If she was lucky she might get back to that dream. She felt herself dozing, blue eyes swimming to the front of her mind, beautiful lean arms, dirty blonde bed hair, oh fuck. She sighed and punched her pillow.
"I hate that man," she muttered.
"You're right," Peyton slammed her tray down on the cafeteria table, "I don't like him."
Rachel beamed and cleared some of her papers, "join the club honey, I have tee shirts. Seriously."
"He's disregarded two sets of my orders this morning alone; who the hell does he think he is?"
"He thinks he's a badass Elvis."
"Elvis had stupid hair," Peyton grumbled and then perked up, "you know, he does kind of have stupid hair."
"Oooh who's hair are we talking about?" Chris dropped his tray next to Peyton's and sat down to look at them both expectantly.
Rachel rolled her eyes, "don't you have surgery in ten minutes?"
"Yes but this is more important." She shoved at his arm and he laughed, "no, it's been pushed back on account of your new favourite doctor's exploratory laparotomy."
Peyton scowled again, "he is not our favourite new doctor. He's always there, changing my orders, thinking he can tell my stupid interns what to do-"
"I thought you didn't even want interns."
"That's not the point! Just because I didn't want them, doesn't mean I can shun responsibility for their actions now I have them!"
"Sounds like he's really getting to you."
"He is not! He's just around all the time!"
"Somebody wants your attention," Chris murmured in a sing song voice
"Shut up Chris!" Both Peyton and Rachel said at the same time.
He scowled, "it's so annoying when you two do that; makes me feel like you're in my head."
"Even if we were in your head, we still wouldn't sleep with you," Rachel said firmly.
"Pfft whatever Rach, I've seen the way you look at me when Nate's not around-"
Rachel grabbed his wrist, "don't even finish that sentence Keller."
"Feisty," he said smirking, "I knew under all that loathing you just wanted to touch me."
She let go of him quickly, "ugh that made me vomit a little in my mouth."
"Can we get back to the point?" Peyton interrupted, pouting as she did so, "what the hell am I going to do about the new guy? He's going to give me a coronary! And where the hell did all the croissants go?"
"You shouldn't eat those anyway," Chris said, pointing his knife at her warningly. "If you fed your hips enough carbs..."
"Oh fuck off Keller," she snapped, rubbing at her temples.
Chris rolled his eyes, "you're so tense blondie, you know what you need?"
"Nothing," she said immediately, "I need nothing from you. No massages, no foot rubs, no magic fingers, now unless you have coffee I find your presence at this table unnecessary."
"Bitch."
"Jerk."
They both glowered at one another stonily before Chris sat back with his eyebrows raised, "wow normally you are icy but today temperatures aren't even close to thawing princess. What kind of bee you got in your bonnet?"
Rachel pushed a coffee forward, dropping in cream and stirring at the same time, before nudging it against Peyton's hand. "She just needs caffeine Chris; she'll be more than peppy in ten minutes."
Chris snorted, "she'd need a pint of that crap to get her even looking like she might smile."
"Hey guys," Brooke sat down in the seat next to Peyton, preventing her from threatening Keller with further bodily harm and blowing her fringe out of the way- revealing a bruise under her right eye.
"Brooke!" Peyton leant forward, "what happened to your face?"
"Oh," she rolled her eyes, "a patient got me good in the face- she really didn't want her bath."
She really was one of the sunniest people Peyton had ever met. No matter what the crisis, however big the catastrophe, Brooke was always there with her soothing tones and her caring hands. She sat with patients, read to them, made them laugh and basically became everybody's favourite nurse in ten seconds flat. When they'd first met Peyton had been convinced she would loathe her just on principle (cheery people and Peyton? Really? No.) But Brooke had won her over. She was an excellent nurse and underneath the dimples was a strong will and intellect. She knew exactly how to deal with everyone; including a cranky Peyton.
Chris took a sip of Brooke's chocolate milkshake and she rolled her eyes, "why don't you just get your own?"
"I don't want a whole one," he said plaintively, "I just want some of yours."
Brooke rolled her eyes, "that's like saying you don't want desert and then eating all of your date's strawberry mousse."
Chris blinked, "yeah, so?"
"So it's cheating! Not to mention unfair- order your own!"
"I'm helping you avoid unecessary calories."
"You're such a kind hearted person."
Peyton sniggered, "truly Chris, so selfless."
"Oh shut up you both love me."
Lunch time was kind of the only time all of them had to be socialable and sit down together. For years Peyton had avoided the cafeteria like the plague but now she kind of liked the mad flow of conversation.
On days when she wasn't in a foul mood about stupid blue eyed doctors.
"Anyone know why there aren't any croissants today?" Jake Jagelski, thirty three, gorgeous, charming, general surgeon and Peyton's all round favourite male doctor (partly because he didn't hit on her, partly because come on, the guy was just so darn cute) sat down looking disheartened. His puppy dog eyes widened as he glanced at Brooke and he almost jumped out of his seat, "Brooke, what-"
She waved a hand, "I'm fine."
He ignored the nonchalant dismissal and caught her face carefully, "did you walk into another door?"
"No," she pouted, "and that wasn't my fault- you distracted me!"
"I told you to face the way you were walking! You were the one who chose to ignore me!"
Gently he pressed down on her cheekbone and she winced, "ouch Jake!"
"Sorry," he let go hastily, still staring at her with concern, "you gotta be more careful!"
By the way, had Peyton mentioned Jake was completely head over heels in love with Brooke?
Because duh.
"Hey! A patient kicked me- how am I supposed to see that coming?"
"The giant foot sailing your way?" Chris suggested, receiving drop dead stares from everyone at the table. He shrugged, "makes sense to me."
Jake shook his head and shot another reprimanding look Brooke's way, "couldn't you have gotten someone else to hold her down?"
"She's six Jake; I didn't think I was going to have a problem!"
"Was that Carrie?" Peyton interrupted, suddenly worried, "has she been restless?"
Brooke shook her head, "she's been fine- just her usual self." Their eyes met and Peyton nodded with relief, Brooke confirming that everything was fine after last night's fuck up meant that she didn't have to yell at Lucas again. This meant she didn't have to see him again and-
"Anyone mind if I sit here?" Man was he stalking her thoughts or something?
"We mind-" Rachel said at almost exactly the same time as Brooke, Chris and Jake chorused, "no."
"You're over-ruled," Brooke said sternly to the red head who stuck her tongue out and lifted the journal she was reading up above her eyes.
Lucas smirked as Brooke pulled an apologetic face, "it's ok, I can get some quality sister-in-law time later."
"Quit telling people we're related," Rachel hissed. "They might accidently assume I'm happy about it!"
"Rachel!" Brooke shot her another warning look before dimpling at Lucas, "you settling in ok sweetie?"
"Seem to be doing alright," he said smiling politely, "just learning the lay of the place you know?" He glanced at Peyton and she realised she'd been staring and immediately looked down at her plate, damn him!
"Not stepping on any toes then"? Chris asked wickedly. "No-one we know got it in for you? No mean-"
Peyton tried to kick him under the table and Jake let out a yelp, "Peyton!"
"Sorry," she said quickly, feeling her face flame up. When she finally lifted her eyes Lucas was still looking at her; his face had something akin to amusement written all over it. She tried to scowl, he did not get to laugh at her, but she found herself just staring back at him and eventually gave up.
The thing was; she really loved her job. She was fourteen when she decided she wanted to become a doctor. She'd spent six years in a life with no options, a whole lot of people putting her down and trying to break her up inside and she'd known she wanted to be someone powerful who could help other people just like her. President was a bit of a push, especially as she didn't like the idea of having to be associated with any political party; Queen of England was taken; and she couldn't act or sing and so a doctor had just seemed like the next best thing. People listened to doctors, they sat up and took note and never tried to mess with them. A doctor's word was law and nobody could argue with it.
She was not a power hungry person and she didn't have hidden ambitions to be the next Chief of Surgery- way too much paper work- and frankly she liked having Jack run the show, he was an excellent surgeon and not so bad on the eyes. So she wasn't secretly envisioning herself as the one who gave all the uplifting speeches (god save them all if she ever had to do that) and she didn't want to meet a lot of board members and shake hands and smile pretty for a million cameras; Jack was better at that than her. But she did appreciate that with her position; people respected her. She had grown used to people working with her, helping her, agreeing with her or else having a damn good argument for why they disagreed.
And Lucas. Damn it he just rolled right on in here and for some reason he didn't listen to a word she said. He took it for granted she'd agree with what he thought was best and that just wasn't how things went down around here. She would not be able to stand someone belittling her and chipping away at the authority and respect she'd fought so hard for. She needed it.
She didn't have anything else.
"Sawyer?" Chris was clicking his fingers in her face and she swatted him away, annoyed.
"What?"
"You just looked really depressed for a second there babe."
She opened her mouth to respond that it was none of his business how she looked when she noticed the genuine concern in his eyes and glanced to Rachel who was also frowning. Ok, she was not having a damn heart to heart in the cafeteria; Rachel had been reading her mind since they were twelve so hopefully she'd figure it out and Chris most definitely didn't need to hear all about the secret paranoia and issues with self esteem she constantly battled with in her head.
"I'm fine," she said quickly, brushing her hair away from her face. She felt hot and bothered and ruffled, which was completely unlike her. She really wasn't fond of the feeling.
Brooke and Jake were still arguing about her inability to spot large objects right in front of her, Chris went back to eating and Rachel shot her a this isn't over look before returning to her journal. Peyton stared at her hands for a moment before she finally ventured another look up and damn it if Lucas wasn't looking right at her again. It was like those startling blue eyes were trying to see right through her and she didn't know what to do with that kind of intensity.
"Peyton?"
The table's conversation died.
Julian Baker. Oh fuck, just what she needed when she was having some kind of weird stare off with the new guy.
She looked up, wincing as she did so, "hey Julian."
"Hi," he smiled faintly at her and then at the table at large. Rachel stared up at him stonily and he waved a hand, "oh goody, your best friend is happy to see me."
"Don't you neurosurgeon's have your own special lounge with your own special vending machines?" Rachel said coldly.
"Yeah but no where's as fun as here right?"
Chris snickered and lifted his orange juice to him, "you got that right kid."
Julian's eyes flickered around the table and landed on Lucas, "hi, you're the new guy in from the Middle East I hear?"
"Yep, Lucas Scott," Lucas stood to shake his hand and for a moment they looked like they were having some sort of stand off before he let go and sat down again.
"Pleasure. Peyton," he said again and she jumped, she'd been trying to pretend she wasn't there.
"Yeah?"
"You got a minute?"
No. No she didn't have a minute. Or a second. Or any time at all for him.
She sighed, "ok- now?"
"Yes, if that's acceptable," he said drily.
She flashed him a dirty look and he shrugged, his trademark grin sliding back into place, "nice meeting you," he said without even looking at Lucas.
"Likewise," Lucas said quietly. She glanced at the blonde who was staring grimly at Julian and his gaze moved to meet hers. For a moment she forgot to breathe and then Julian was clearing his throat and moving away and she had no choice than to get up and follow.
She most definitely did not look back, wishing she could stay and stare some more at the man who had apparently made it his new aim in life to drive her absolutely crazy instead of following Julian out of the cafeteria.