Chapter 9: Museum of Adventure

Entei groaned as he pushed himself off the ground. His entire body ached from the stun bombs. He looked around. To his surprise he was in his room and it was almost completely undamaged.

"But how?" he asked himself. "I remember the bombs."

His stomach growled, reminding him that he had not eaten in several hours. "Well, I'll see what's in the kitchen," he muttered.

He telekinetically opened the door and entered the hallway. The hallways were spotless as well.

Entei shivered. Obviously, he preferred that the Hall of Origins remain spotless but something unnatural was in the air.

He then headed towards the kitchen where he heard noises. He was absolutely not prepared for what he found.

Latias was on her back on the kitchen table and Latios was vigorously thrusting himself into her.

"Ah. Ah. Ah!" Latias cried as she climaxed.

Latios pulled himself out of his sister and snuggled up to her. "That was…"

"Fun," Latias panted out. She then glanced at Entei. "Hey, you enjoy the show?" she said with a wink.

Entei fought to keep the bile in his throat down. He screamed at the horrific sight and bolted from the kitchen. He desperately wanted something to erase that horrifying visual. He ran into the lounge, which was tastefully decorated with "Azelf blue" paint and some of Lugia's landscape art. The lounge was, thankfully empty. Entei then stuck his head into the fireplace, trying to remove that image from his head.

He took several deep breaths as the warm flames licked over his fur and skin. "No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! I just did not see Latios have sex with his sister!" he shouted.

He then pulled his head out of the fireplace and headed to Uxie's room. He flung the door open. "Uxie! I-" Entei's words died on his lips at what he saw.

Uxie, Azelf and Mespirt were playing a game of Twister – a version that involved copious amounts of lube.

"What…What's going on!" Entei demanded. He was trying hard to ignore the grunting and groaning that came from the contortionist three-way that the Lake Trio were engaged in.

"We're playing a game of Twister," Mesperit said. Her two tails were wrapped around Uxie's body while Azelf's two tails were probing her nether regions. At the same time, Uxie's two tails were rubbing Azelf's groin.

Entei lost it. He vomited on the immaculate "Uxie gold" carpet and bolted from the room, slamming the door behind him. His heart raced, something had turned nearly every Legendary into nymphomaniacs. And it terrified him.

"I must be dreaming," he muttered. He bit himself on the right foreleg. It hurt. A lot.

"No…No!" Entei shouted. He thought of one last refuge: the Legendary Golems.

He bolted down the hall when he heard a series of frantic beeping coming from Regigigas's room. He opened the door and to his horror found Regigigas, Registeel, Regice and Regirock doing some of the most perverted acts he had ever seen involving rock, ice and steel.

"Regigigas! This…This is unacceptable!" Entei shouted. He was desperately trying to sound authoritative, even though he was terrified beyond all possible belief.

Regigigas turned towards Entei holding what appeared to be a steel girder. Apparently, Entei had intruded in the midst of him spanking Registeel. "COME NOW, WHY MUST YOU SPOIL THE FUN?" he asked.

Entei's face paled and he slammed the door shut, his heart pounding in his throat. He suppressed the urge to vomit yet again. "Now what?" he muttered. He then noticed a dark blue name plate on a nearby door with the name "Dialga" engraved on it. "Wait, I thought his room was near the rec room?" he muttered. "Okay, now to see what is going on."

He gently opened the door. To his great relief Dialga appeared to be lying on his bed with his back turned to the door. Then again the room was very dark.

"Dialga, can you help me explain what is going on? Everyone's libidos have been stuck on high," Entei said.

"Oh, yeah Lugia, that's it. Please don't stop," Dialga moaned. His body shuddered with pleasure as he spoke each syllable.

Entei was starting to become extremely nervous now. "Dialga, what are you doing?" he asked. He had a feeling that he was really going to regret knowing.

Dialga gave forth an earsplitting howl as he climaxed.

"Dialga! I don't care if you masturbate! But don't do it in front of me!" Entei shouted. He used the volume of his voice to mask his fear and revulsion.

"WHO SAID I WAS MASTURBATING?" Dialga countered.

Lugia then levitated over Dialga's prone form. Both his mouth and face were caked with Dialga's seed. He then swallowed whatever it was in his mouth. Even though the light was dim, it was clear that Lugia was wearing a diaper.

"SHALL WE?" Dialga asked.

"Why not, dear?" Lugia replied. He pressed his body against Dialga. Dialga rumbled in contentment as Lugia rubbed himself against his steely body. He paid no heed to the fact that Lugia was diapered. In fact, he preferred that his mate be diapered.

Entei vomited what little was left in his stomach on the clean "Lugia silver" carpet. He then bolted out of the bedroom, slamming the door shut and ignoring the dirty talk that came out of the doors.

At this point, Entei was in tears. Every Legendary he met was upset at him for interrupting their interludes or worse, they wanted him to join. He then thought about the single pokémon who would be able to help rectify this issue: Arceus.

He tore through the halls, not caring that he left scorch marks on the "Dialga blue" carpets. He finally stopped in front of Giratina and Arceus's shared room and he opened the door. His hopes at them fixing the problem were dashed.

On the floor was Arceus, writhing in pleasure. Behind her, with his head in her nether regions was Origin Forme Giratina. Around and on top of the two were a veritable gaggle of females. Deoxys, Shaymin, Ho-Oh, Suicune, Articuno, Celebi, Cresselia, a Garchomp, two Chansey, two Miltank, two Nidoqueen, Cynthia, her Garchomp, two Nurse Joys, two Officer Jennys, four Gardevoir and finally half a dozen prostitutes he purchased from Pyrite Town in Orre.

Black tentacles expanded from his wings and were busy probing and feeling each and every female's body. Giratina shuddered in pleasure as his tentacles registered feedback from each of the females.

Entei stared in horror at the massive orgy going on. He wanted to move but his frozen limbs refused to let him move. It was like his brain was forcing him to watch. He wanted to order everyone to stop this obscene display but his mouth refused to let him obey. He closed his eyes to block out the horrifying sight but he could not block out the moans of pleasure from all the females. He felt something warm wrap around his legs. He forced his eyes open and found that Giratina's tentacles had wrapped around legs and was dragging him closer to the massive orgy. He tried to break free but he could not. He glanced at Giratina and noticed that his eyes were filled with lust. "Giratina! Stop this madness!" he shouted. He burned away a tentacle with a Flamethrower but another sprouted from Giratina's wings and started stroking his stomach. Entei shivered at Giratina's gross violation of his personal space.

"You'll like this," Giratina said with a wink. Six more tentacles grew from his wings and tied down all four legs and his head.

"Giratina, please stop! I'm begging you!" Entei cried. He did not bother to hold back the tears that poured forth from his eyes.

Giratina put the sixth tentacle on Entei's lips. "Shh. Be quiet and this will all be done soon," he said. Another tentacle stroked Entei's head. He started whimpering like an injured Growlithe.

The sixth tentacle then reared up behind Entei and penetrated him. Mercifully, he saw what was going on and passed out from sheer fright before the actual penetration.

The real Entei was hovering unconscious inside an electrical cage formed by the Hikokyu II's electrical capture system. The two generating rings orbited each other in a manner reminiscent of a gyroscope as arcs of blue electricity danced between them.

He, along with the other Legendaries were placed inside the Hikokyu II's main holding bay. The main holding bay was normally used to carry things like treasures or passengers but it had been pressed into service as a torture chamber thanks to a console that Lawrence III had installed.

Charon was busy torturing each and every Legendary with what he found in their heads. One hand was on the console and the other hand was down by his waist. And his pants were around his ankles. Luckily, he was alone.

Suddenly, the screen displaying Entei's video blanked out and was replaced by an image of Cyrus smoking a cigarette. Charon quickly pulled up his pants but he did not have time to fully belt them.

"Charon! Have you fully broken the Legendaries?" Cyrus demanded.

"Not quite. They are proving harder to break than we thought," Charon replied.

"Very well. And what the fuck aren't you saluting!"

Charon saluted, causing his pants to fall down and reveal exactly what he was doing while he was torturing Entei.

"Charon! I do not want to see or hear about you jerking off while on duty!" Cyrus thundered. He then drew a pistol and aimed it straight at the camera. "Or I will blow your balls off!" Cyrus's voice then went back to normal. "Carry on. Cyrus out." The transmission ended, revealing Entei's video was paused where he was last watching it.

Charon shuddered. He knew Cyrus would act on his threat so he quickly nodded and put his pants back on. He then downloaded the tape onto his smartphone so he could "enjoy" it at a later time.

While he was doing so, he was busy reading Latias's mind. He grinned. Who knew such a sweet and cute pokémon had such a filthy mind?


It was still dark in Lilycove City as Palkia and Lugia loitered outside the art museum. They were still waiting for James to appear.

Palkia was reading a gossip magazine that he had purchased last night. He was sniggering as he browsed through all the steamy stories.

"Palkia, what are you reading?" Lugia asked. He was listening to a portable music player that he retrieved from his bag and reading a newspaper that he bought from a vending machine. The headline read: Hoenn Government Outraged Over Orre's Execution Of Poképhile. Lugia shuddered; one of the most common execution methods used in Orre was tying the condemned to a pole out in the execution yard of the prison, strapping C4 to them and detonating the explosives after an unspecified time period. And then there was the punishment for poképhilia: being bound and thrown in a pit with three fragmentation grenades.

"Champion. It's Sinnoh's premier celeb mag," Palkia replied.

Lugia's jaw dropped as he suddenly realized something. Palkia was not as loud as he once was. "Uh Palkia, did your caps lock key get broken or something?" he asked.

"What?"

"You don't seem to be as loud as you were before."

Palkia put the magazine on the planter and closed his eyes. Suddenly, he grew seven feet in as many seconds. "YOU MEAN LIKE THIS LOUD?" he asked.

Lugia nodded. "Yeah, that loud," he said.

Palkia then shrunk back down to six feet and picked up the gossip magazine. "Hey, you know what the latest gossip about Champion Cynthia is?" he asked.

Lugia yawned. "I'm trying to enjoy Arcana here!" he replied. "But fine, tell me since I have nothing else to do."

"Well, rumor that she's sexually interested in her Garchomp."

Lugia's jaw dropped. He had seen of all kinds of unusual sexual behavior, ranging from bondage to inflationism, in Groudon's dirty magazines but this was something totally new to him. "And I thought Groudon was a pervert," he muttered.

"I knew it!" Palkia replied, turning the page to reveal a grainy black and white picture that showed Cynthia – totally naked – snuggling up to her Garchomp.

"Knew what?"

"That Cynthia was a poképhile."

"Okay, now can you let me enjoy the rock remix of Racketeers?"

Palkia sighed. "Just so you know, I think Immediate Music and Two Steps From Hell suck," he replied.

"Hey!"

At this point, James Elison, a somewhat thin man of about thirty-five opened the door to the museum. "Ah, Lugia, Pallie, come in!" he said.

Palkia blushed at the affectionate nickname given to him by James and put away the gossip magazine. Lugia followed him into the museum.

The museum was dark but the dim red emergency lights glowed through out the building. The air had the distinct odor of new carpet.

The group then wound their way to the employee break room. There, an electric kettle and three beat up porcelain cups rested on an equally beat up wood table.

Lugia sniffed the air. The scent of stale coffee permeated the air.

James then poured some tea into each of the cups. "Tea?" he asked.

"Sure," Palkia said, picking up a cup and sipping it. "This is good tea."

Lugia picked up the next cup and sipped it. He screwed his face up and spat the tea into the nearby stainless steel sink. "Sorry, it's too strong," he said.

James then placed the cup of tea on the table. "So what was it that you wanted to discuss?" he asked.

"The Hall of Origins has been attacked. We think that the other Legendaries are in danger," Palkia said.

"So what does this have to do with me?"

"You're the only human we trust enough to help us. We can't do this alone and it's very possible that whoever or whatever attacked the Hall of Origins could pose a threat to your world as well."

James sighed. He had always entertained fantasies of being a hero but as a responsible adult he knew that he was not trained in heroics. Then again, he was sure that the two Legends would ensure that he would be safe. "All right, I'll join you," he said.

"James, do you know any skills that maybe helpful? Sharpshooting, hand-to-hand combat, sabotage?" Lugia asked.

James chuckled. "I'm an art museum curator, not a soldier! Granted, I am a fairly talented pokémon trainer," he said.

"Good! Now do you mind introducing us to your partners?"

"They're at home."

"Okay, we'll meet you outside. Pack up whatever shit you need here and get moving," Palkia said.

James nodded and saluted the two as they left. He looked around the lounge. He decided that nothing here was worth taking He then stopped by his office and hastily scrawled a note saying that he had to leave for an extended period of time due to a "family emergency". He then headed outside where Lugia and Palkia were waiting.

The group then headed down the streets to James's apartment. The streets were still mostly empty but they were brightening as the sun rose.

The two stopped in front of a posh looking apartment complex. The only person there was a smartly dressed doorman.

Lugia had to admire the art that decorated the apartment lobby. He recognized one of the paintings as a copy of his Stormy Elemental Islands – the original was inside the art museum.

Palkia meanwhile was staring at the marble walls.

A ding signaled that the elevator had arrived. James, Lugia, Palkia and their luggage took up nearly the entire elevator; luckily there was no one there. They rode the elevator to the 27th floor and entered James's apartment.

The apartment was very modern looking and clean.

Lugia sat on the nice couch. "Hey, James this a really nice place," he said.

James paid no attention to Lugia as he started packing the supplies that they needed.

Palkia sat on a recliner and turned the TV on. He turned around and saw that Lugia had fallen asleep on the couch. He opened Lugia's suitcase and removed a diaper from it. He then shook Lugia awake.

"Palkia, what is your problem?" he snapped.

Palkia said nothing but handed the diaper to Lugia. He did not want Lugia to have an accident on James's couch. That would be…embarrassing to say the least.

Lugia scowled and put it back in his bag. He then decided to watch the Lilycove morning news with Palkia.

Several minutes passed and James had his supplies ready. He had a messenger bag with his supplies in it across one shoulder and two additional bags at his feet Three poké balls were clipped to his belt.

"Okay, I've got all the supplies ready. You'll both have to carry some as well," James said.

"No problem, I'll just use my spatial powers to expand the capacity of the bags and make them weightless too," Palkia replied.

"No need. There are the high tech 'digital bags'. They're basically the same technology used in poké balls applied to items."

Palkia glowed pink for a moment. The two suitcases and two messenger bags glowed pink as well. "There, I teleported our belongings to the messenger bags," he said. He then tossed his messenger bag over his shoulder and clipped the luxury ball to it. Lugia followed his lead.

"So exactly what supplies did you bring?" Palkia asked.

"Oh some food, camping supplies, medical supplies, the usual," James replied. "You've got some supplies in your bag as well."

Palkia reached into his bag and pulled out a small but very sturdily built folding shovel. "James, is that an E-tool?" he asked.

James nodded. "Yep. And I'd say it makes a fine battleaxe as well," he said.

Palkia reached by his waist and "unsheathed" a glowing pink energy sword – a manifestation of his signature attack, Spacial Rend. "Yeah, I'll stick with my Spacial Rend," he replied. He then shrugged at James's other piece of knowledge about the E-tool; after all, Palkia himself has used an E-tool as a weapon in a pokémon battle. Needless to say, the trainers were not very happy about his proclivity to use weapons in a pokémon battle.

"Can your 'sword' dig as well?"

"No," Palkia replied, "sheathing" his sword.

Lugia sighed. "All right, James let's see your partners," he said. He was starting to get tired and he wished he had some energy root or coffee.

"Come on out!" James said, releasing all three pokémon he had around his waist. The intense bursts of white light easily drowned out the early morning sun.

The amorphous mass of white light began to separate into three distinct shapes: a Mudkip, an Infernape and a Skarmory.

"These are my pokémon. Wu-" Suddenly, James was cut off as his Infernape spoke.

"Wukong," the Infernape said. His voice was cool but deep and rich, akin to the voice of an opera singer.

James's jaw dropped in astonishment. He had never, ever seen a pokémon speak clear English before. He pinched himself. It hurt; he was not dreaming. "But…but…how?" he asked.

"I guess we should have told you earlier. But now's a good time as any," Palkia said.

"You see, as long as you are within several hundred feet of either Palkia or me, you will be able to understand and converse with any Pokémon – wild or trained. No other humans will be able to eavesdrop on your conversation unless we extend the translation field to them," Lugia said.

James's eyes lit it up; it was like a dream come true. "Well, I guess I should like my pokémon introduce themselves then," he said, flopping down on another recliner.

"I'm Quartzon!" the Mudkip chirped. Her voice was rather high pitched but not grating.

"And I'm Ferrum," the Skarmory said. His voice was sharp and hard like the edge of honed steel.

"Well, I am pleased to meet you all, Wukong, Quartzon, Ferrum," Lugia said.

Palkia looked at the clock. "We really should get going," he said.

James nodded and recalled Wukong, Quartzon and Ferrum. "Where to?" he asked.

"Altomare."

"Well, let's get going then."

The trio then left James's apartment and headed to the elevator. As the elevator descended to the lobby, they thought about the stakes.

But those thoughts were cut short when they had to force their way past a throng of people heading to work.