ACT 275… NEVER MIND. THE NEXT ACT.
Random Minccino: Lalalalalalala lalalalalalala lalalalalalala la la la la I love you love you love you love you love sunshine!
Oracion: You've been singing random songs for 4 HOURS! STOP OR I WILL SEDATE YOU!
Random Minccino: Okayyy… *pouts* ARE WE THERE YET, PIKACHU?
Pikachu: Not yet. Our destination is halfway across the region. I would reckon we're a quarter of the way there.
Random Minccino: Uggh! I am SO bored! *idea* [pulls out laptop, headphone/microphone set]
Oracion: What are you doing?
Random Minccino: I'm gonna have a snappy comeback tournament with GLaDOS. Don't mind me.
Pikachu: Lucky dog- er, chinchilla Pokémon.
Random Minccino: We've all known that the cake was a lie since the 90's, GLaDOS. Do you not play Mario? Seriously, is Peach related to you?
Oracion: Meta Knight, can you pass me some aspirin?
1 HOUR LATER
Random Minccino: Hey, do you get internet here while driving?
Oracion: Yes. Why?
Random Minccino: I plan to annoy the hell out of Her by spamming Her e-mail with random pics and fanfics related to Portal.
Oracion: Hey, aren't we in a fanfic…?
Random Minccino: *gasps* You broke the fourth wall! [points to remains of random wall in space] Now I get to… [whispers to Oracion]
Oracion: oh god, spare me, please…
Random Minccino: [opens orange portal] Have fun 500 miles underground! [pushes Oracion through portal]
Pikachu: [after portal closes] That was what this needed! Now we can be nuts and the only thing stopping us is…
Meta Knight: *glares daggers at Random and Pikachu*
Pikachu: Yeah. Why didn't you push him through, too?
Random Minccino: I only got clearance for one… and that's game rules too.
Pikachu: Game rules? What game?
Random Minccino: Simple. If someone breaks the law of fanfic worlds, as stated in Paragraph 17, page 114 in The Laws of Fanfiction, you can do whatever you want to them.
Pikachu: Epicness. Hey, I want a word with GLaDOS…
Random Minccino: Uhh… 'Kay. [puts back in headphone/microphone set] Hey, GLaDOS? Someone wants to talk to you. …Uhh, more like second-biggest fan. Yes, second to me. Uhm, a Pikachu. Named Pikachu. Okay. [takes out headphone… well, the headset, and tosses to Pikachu] Here. I'll take over driving for you while you talk.
Pikachu: Cool. [puts on headset] Hey! Yeah, I wanted to ask something… is there a sign-up form for test subjects, or is it a walk in thing? Yes, I actually want to be a test subject. Of my own free will. Yes, I may be a little crazy. I'm a Pokémon. I control electricity primarily, but can do other elements too… Alright, is Friday okay? Great. I can do holiday weekends, any one. Memorial Day? Got it. Okay, see ya. [slips off headset] Alright, Random, here's your boss. I'm leavin' all Memorial Day weekend.
Meta Knight: THANK THE GREAT LORD ARCEUS!
Pikachu: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Again. Also, YOU'RE going too.
Meta Knight: … You actually think leaving Random in charge of caring for Kirby is a GOOD idea?
Pikachu: Sure, she's a good kid, she'll be fine!
Meta Knight: Oh god. I hope the house will be intact. At least.
ACT… UHH… UMMM… 11. YESSS! I DID IT! W0OT!
Meta Knight: That was a…weird…mission…
Pikachu: What are you talking about? Doritos Crash Course is awesome!
Meta Knight: Not so when you're hit by a mallet every two seconds. Oh, is it Memorial Day weekend already? Hmm. Well, we're out of here. Take good care of Kirby, Random!
Random Minccino: Oh. Right. [idea] Kirby, do you wanna go to the park?
Kirby: Poyo! Poyo poyo!
Random Minccino: Great! Let's go! Oh, and also bring me that bag…
ACT 12. YES, JUST ACT 12. NO CRAZY HIJINKS HERE FOLKS. WELL, MAYBE IN THE CHAPTER.
Random Minccino: Well, here we are. Hey, who are those people…?
[There are three people, two children and one adult. The adult is a young woman with purple hair and eyes. She has a one-dot blush under her eyes, much like Kirby's, and it's also purple. She's wearing a violet dress-like one-piece with lavender detail, and purple shoes. One of the children is a girl with orange hair and amber eyes, and a two-dot blush under her eyes, which is orange too. She's wearing another dress-like one-piece that's orange with tangerine detail, and orange shoes. The other child is a boy with short straight blonde hair, and golden eyes. He also has a two-dot blush under his eyes, and they're golden, too. He's wearing a gold shirt and blue jeans, with yellow sneakers. He and the young girl seem to be talking, with the girl asking about almost everything the boy is saying.]
Random Minccino: [walks up to the woman] Umm, hey. Who're you? I haven't seen you around here lately.
?: [looks confused for a second, then notices Random on the ground.] Oh, me? I'm… well, I'm not sure I should tell you.
Random Minccino: Ehm? What's up, turret got your tongue?
?: Wha- Wha'd you say?
Random Minccino: [clearly annoyed] Are you deaf too? I SAID, Turret got your tongue? You know, the pale spherical things full of bullets? They talk in cute voices, then try to dismember you with 60% more bullet, per bullet? Those turrets?
?: How do you know what a turret is?
Random Minccino: I work at Aperture Labs. Did you SEE the jumpsuit? Or are you deaf and blind?
?: Oh! You come from Aperture? Great, then I can tell you guys. I'm Morality, and the two playing over there with your pink buddy are Space and Curiosity. We, uh, got kicked out by the other cores after the core-to-human transfer took.
Random Minccino: Ohhh, I heard about that! Sorry, I didn't recognize you. Then again, who else would have purple eyes?...
Morality: Yeah. *sighs* Soon the hotel we're staying at will kick us out. I don't have a job, so… we're screwed.
Random Minccino: Weell… We do have some space at our house right now… And Pikachu, Oracion, and Meta Knight won't be back for a few days. Would you like to stay at our house?
Morality: If it wouldn't be too much of a bother to you… Okay.
Random Minccino: Great!
ACT 17 ½. FAIL.
[Oracion, Meta Knight, and Pikachu stagger in, bleeding, bruised and burned, and are almost bowled over by Kirby]
Kirby: PPPPOOOOYYYYOOOO! [tackles MK, who falls over]
Meta Knight: [slowly, as if it hurts to talk] Kirby… hi… please… get…off…of…me…ow.
Random Minccino: *gasps* That bad? What did you test?
Pikachu: The… ninja… companion… cube… and… longer… fall… boots. I… tested…. ninja… companion… cube… and… tried… to… commit… suicide… 19 ½ … times… the… evil… little… *coughcough* [insert profanity here]…
Random Minccino: Oh my sweet Arceus, you guys need medical attention. Right this instant. [pauses] The ninja companion cube was that bad?
Meta Knight, Pikachu, Oracion: [in chorus] Yes…
Pikachu: [notices Morality] Who… the… heck… is… that…?
Random Minccino: I'll tell you later, when you're strong enough to put question marks directly after your questions.
Curiosity: Who are you guys?
Pikachu: Oh… god...
ACT Q. THAT WAS EVEN MORE FAIL.
Pikachu: Okay, so note to self- committing suicide in Aperture Labs is, in fact, impossible. Good to know.
Random Minccino: Oh, good, you're alive. I was getting worried.
Pikachu: Really? Then why didn't you think to TELL ME about the Ninja Companion Cube? Or Longer-Fall Boots? Or-
Random Minccino: I didn't know about those! Geez, it's not like She tells me anything!
Pikachu: Fine!
Random Minccino: Fine!
Pikachu: Hmph!
Random Minccino: Hmph!