Chapter FIVE! Sorry for the long wait… I got bored with the story…

Anyways! A big thanks to all those who reviewed! Enjoy!

A month. It was now a whole month since I had not caught sight of master. I became more irritable and got angry easily. General Tiedoll had forced Kanda and I to train together which had not improved my mood at first. But what I liked about Kanda was that even though he knew what was happening, he acted as if nothing had changed. When I was with him I felt as if everything was alright and, as weird as it sounded, I felt at peace with him, though we often (Always ) got into fights.

I woke up to the alarm blaring n my ears. I got off my bed instantly and got out of my room. It was a good thing that I had fallen asleep fully dressed with even my shoes on. Outside, everyone was rushing in all directions. What was happening? Suddenly Komui-san's voice was heard through Timcanpy, answering my question.

"All exorcists are to go to the dining hall," I heard him say, "Finders prepare your equipments and join them as soon as possible. We are being attacked by an unknown number of level 4 akumas in the dining hall." I turned, ready to go where I was asked to when I heard my name being called. I turned around and saw none other than…

"La-Lavi?" I asked, stunned.

"Come on, Allen," He said, "We'll talk later. I've got lots of things to tell you, but for now, let's join the others." A small smile (a real one and not one of his fakes) appeared on his face, making my stomach flutter. He grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me towards the dining hall. I really did not know what to think about it, but I let it go as it was not the moment for it.

Arriving at the dining hall, we were surprised to see the Noah also there and fighting. The other exorcists were there too. Lavi and I were about to join the fight when we saw a level 4 akuma slipping behind Lenalee, ready to strike. We stood there, still shocked, unable to do anything as she was too far. Suddenly master appeared out of nowhere, pushed her out of the way and fired judgment at the akuma. But by doing so, he had let his guard down and the next thing I knew was Tyki Mikk's unmistakable hand going right through master's chest.

I felt my breath getting caught and my legs started trembling. I got overwhelmed by a mixture of emotions so powerful that my body went out of control. I ran towards Tyki Mikk, blinded by anger, slashing anything on my way by the sword of exorcism. I went cutting again and again each Noah coming in my way. I knew I was going berserk, but I did not care. Suddenly a heart-shaped door appeared and the Earl got away. I did not know how many Noahs got killed in my frenzy but it was the last of my concerns.

I rushed to master and knelt beside him. Fortunately he was still breathing. I stroked his cheek lovingly and called his name. His eye opened and as soon as it fell on me, a small smile graced his lips. His hand went up and I took it in both of mines. To my horror, he was cold and was getting colder at each passing seconds.

"Master…?" I called in a cracking voice, tears flowing down my cheeks. His free hand went up and brushed them away gently.

"Don't cry… idiot," he said weakly. He slipped his hand at the back of my neck and pulled my face towards his. Our lips brushed lightly against each other, then he let go of my neck and let his hand fall on his stomach where the gashing wound was. "I love you," he mouthed, his eyes becoming cloudy and his hand falling from my hold.

"No!" I screamed, "Don't you dare leave me! Don't leave me… Don't leave me like Mana… Please…" I brought his head to the crook of my neck and hugged him, ignoring the blood sucking in my clothes. The tears now fell freely from my eyes and I started rocking him back and forth as if he was a small child, repeating again and again, "Don't leave me," like a mantra.

"Allen-kun, stop it," I heard Komui's voice saying sadly, "He is gone now. We can do nothing about it."

"No!" I screamed, "He will never leave me! He promised… He promised…"

The funeral was now over. Master's body got burnt so that he would not turn into an akuma. Lenalee had held my hand the whole time to comfort me, though it was all in vain.

I was now in my room, lying on my bed, starring up at the ceiling. Komui had told me that all the Noahs were dead because of me except Road and the Earl who had gotten away. Surprisingly, I did not care anymore I they were alive or not. I did not care anymore about that stupid war. Mana had told me to keep moving forward until I die, but I felt it impossible without Master beside me. I knew I had no right to think like that but I wished it was Lenalee in that burning coffin instead of master. Now I had no more resolve to continue living. It would only bring pain.

A whole week passed by slowly. I did not leave my room even once and it was a surprise that my innocence had not started consuming my body because of the lack of food. Everyone at the Order was trying to get me out of my room and Kanda had even threatened to slice my door with mugen. I had simply ignored them though it had surprised me that Kanda had even cared about me well-being.

"Allen-kun," Lenalee's voice was heard through the door, "open the door, please." I ignored her and continued starring at Timcanpy who was in my hands while I was sitting cross-legged on my bed with my back against the wall.

"Allen, open the door!" this time it was Lavi. He too had tried getting me out of there, though I never listened.

"Baka Moyashi! Open this damn door!" Now Kanda… did they not get bored of it? I stayed silent, ignoring their cries and threats (From Kanda). Suddenly I heard a slicing sound and another kicking one before a loud crash. I looked up and saw that my room had no more a door and on the floor laid its remains.

"Allen-kun!" Lenalee said entering my room, followed by Lavi and Kanda, "Let's get you out of here. You have to eat something, Allen-kun!" I looked up at her and then back at Timcanpy. I did not like worrying her like that but now I cared about nothing anyway…

"I'm not hungry," I said, hoping they would leave me alone.

"Did you hear yourself, Allen?" Lavi asked, "Come on, buddy. At least eat something." I ignored him and continued starring at Tim.

"Damn moyashi! Get out of this fusking room!" I heard Kanda yell. Suddenly I felt a hand taking hold of my right wrist not so gently and dragging me out of bed forcefully. I looked up and saw that it was Kanda, with a scowl on his face. Why did he care anyway? I voiced my question when we arrived at the dining hall, which I could see was back to normal. Being there made my heart clench. "I don't care. I'm doing this to shut those two damn idiots!" Oh, so Lavi and Lenalee had been bugging Kanda… I should have known.

Lenalee ordered the food and we went to an empty table. She had taken only a small bowl of chicken soup, saying that I had to start with a little something easy to eat. Sitting at the table, I only stared at the soup, with Lenalee beside me, Kanda and Lavi opposite to me and Timcanpy resting on my head.

"Eat this fucking soup, damn idiot!" Kanda cried some minutes of me starring at the food. How Kanda had said it reminded me of master which brought tears back to my eyes.

"Aaah! Yuu, you made Allen-chan cry!" Lavi exclaimed.

"Don't call me that! Tsk, stupid beansprout."

"Allen-kun, don't worry," Lenalee said with a comforting voice, "you know how Kanda is. He doesn't mean what he says. Now, Allen-kun, eat please. Everyone in the cafeteria is glaring at Kanda for making you cry and it's getting uncomfortable." She giggled at that. I sighed. I really wanted to get back to my room. I hated this place. Maybe if I ate it all, they would leave me alone? I sighed again and gulped it all down.

After that day, they did not allow me to be alone anymore. Komui forced Kanda and I to share a room as he had said that if I was allowed to go back to my room, I would lock myself inside again and not move from there at all, which he was right. And why it was Kanda he had chosen was because Lavi and Bookman shared a room while, as we all know Komui, he would never allow me to share a room with Lenalee even though he knew that I had no interest in her. Of course Kanda had refused at first but he had to accept when he was threatened to be Komui's guinea-pig for his next experiments.

I was allowed to go back on missions again but I was always accompanied by another exorcist as Komui was afraid that I would do something stupid like the time I had sliced my wrists but had gotten caught by Kanda when it had started to bleed during training. I still continued doing it but I hid it well afterwards. I had always thought that I would never do something like that but now there I was, slicing my wrists as it gave me a feeling of well-being.

It was not that difficult to live with Kanda as he was always silent and distant. We often got into fights but now I feel more like it was a usual routine. They were even less violent. They were just there to be…

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