The train ride to Hogwarts was an anxious one. He knew he had to defy his mother and disappoint her. It was one thing to perhaps be told that Lily would hate him, part of his brain refused to believe that and could keep some illusion up, at the very least. But sitting across from Lily Evans on the train looking through the many books she had newly discovered, he knew he could not let her die. He still could not believe it, but he would never forgive himself for letting her die. This voice had picked apart his mind for years and finally, it picked what it needed to make him change.
He was just a child, but he would do whatever it took to make sure Lily never died. He would deny his whole family if it meant it. But this voice, whatever it was, was someone who knew what he didn't. He was not important enough to hex or to torture. He was not even important enough to his family. All the hexes he had learned made his stomach turn. Perhaps he could never truly stop wishing to learn of the dark arts, but he could do what he needed to do- he could become a studious Ravenclaw and learn of ways to help people, to help Lily. He could become a Hufflepuff, he would do even that to protect her, and somehow he'd make use of it.
He'd become a potion master, learn the good potions instead of the bad, become a master duelist and rescue Lily from all the dangers she would ever face! He- "Severus, are you alright?" Lily seldom ever called him Severus, but she did then, and he could see why. Her face was filled with worry. "I'm just…thinking about houses…and the sorting hat" Lily smiled at him but his stomach turned. He had gone mad. Was he truly so brave? He was letting a simple voice change his whole life.
Or maybe…maybe it wasn't the voice.
Maybe it was just that Lily Evan's love was worth more to him than the hope his mother might decide to love him.