I was in my bed reading an old issue of Cosmo, guffawing at the ridiculousness of the articles. The home phone rang. "I'll get it!" my dad called. I jumped; I hadn't known he was home. I heard the murmur of his voice from down stairs. "It's Damian!" I inwardly groaned. After showing my emotions so much today I wasn't exactly ready to talk to the person that made that happen.
I picked up the orange phone on my bedside table when I picked it up I heard my dad hang up. "Hey," I said in the phone.
"Lindsay and I broke up," he said sadly.
"That was quick," I said. I scowled at myself. "No, I'm sorry," I said, rubbing my temple, "What happened?"
Damian sighed. "She said that she couldn't be with me if I was going to be so close to you and that I wouldn't have time for her. I told her that you and I were just friends but she wouldn't listen. Then I told her it'd be different if you were a guy but that just made her angrier." Well, duh, I thought silently. "Then she said that she was happy for me and you. When I asked her for what she just told me to open my eyes."
"You there, Mars?"
I nodded, and then realized he couldn't see that. "Yeah," I said my throat dry.
"Well, she's crazy right?" he asked, "Right?" he said the last a bit desperately.
"Damo," I said, "Can you blame her?"
"What?" he seemed outraged.
"Well, I mean, look at it objectively," I said, trying to explain my answer, "We spend almost all our time together, we're obviously close, and we work well together. She feels threatened by it. If I were her, I'd feel the same way. Is it right or true? No. But that's the way she feels."
Damian was quiet for a second then he replied angrily. "Marissa," he said, I cringed. Damo never called me that. "Could you just once not look at something objectively and just agree with me?" And with that he hung up.
I sat there holding the phone, starring at it angrily. I listened to the dead air for a minute then put it back on its stand. Angrily, I flipped through my Cosmo issue, thanking God it was a Friday and I wouldn't have to get it the car with Damian the next day. When I got so mad and accidently tore a page of the magazine, I discarded it and crossed my arms.
Tearing the sheets off of me, I stormed out of my room and down the stairs. I grabbed a hoodie and slammed the door on my way out. I threw it on and stuffed my hands in the pockets. My cell phone was in the left pocket.
I walked along the streets. There was standing water along the edges where it met the side walk. I cried, the salt from my tears met the sweetness of the rain. I hated fighting with Damian. It always left me feeling empty inside.
I saw my dad's car lights. He stopped as he was passing me. Rolling down the window he called out, "I've gotta go. You shouldn't be out here at this hour, Marissa!" Nine years of college and he still spoke with a southern drawl from or native Texas. I nodded and turned around, walking back home.
I stepped inside the two story house and pulled out my phone. I texted Damian to come over. I wanted to talk to him. He responded with a simple "ok."
A few minutes later, Damian walked in through my front door. I stood up from my couch. "Do you want a drink?" I asked.
"Sure," he said. We walked into the kitchen and I poured him a glass of juice. I sat on the counter. "Why'd you invite me over?"
"I don't like fighting with you," I answered, shrugging.
He hopped onto the counter next to me. "I don't like it either…"
"Damian," I said, wiping a tear from my eye, "I need to tell you something. I need to tell you everything…" He nodded encouragingly. "When you moved in I had a crush on you. It was stupid, I know. Like so many girls, I fell for the accent. The crush faded after a while but it left it's mark on me. I thought that because you never made a move on me it was because I wasn't pretty. Its in no way your fault but I started starving myself. When I was fourteen I was diagnosed with anorexia. I went through treatment but I'm still recovering." Damian had closed his eyes, like he often did when he was taking something in. I had never told him, I was too embarrassed. "When our school burnt down and I learned you were transferring to McKinley like me I was relieved. Now that I had known you for a while I had become attached. Before you I was a loser, a nobody. You made me someone. When you were around I felt special. I had come to love you like the brother I never had. Then Samuel told me something in his confidence but he suggested we were meant to be more than friends. I brushed it off. When our choir room burned down I felt abandoned. I'm familiar with the feeling. When Cameron asked me out I sealed off my emotions. When I came home that night you told me to open up and to take chances. You also told me you'd never leave me. That gave me the security I never had with my father." I sighed, coming to terms with it myself. "When we were in Lindsay's basement and you sang that song it brought up a lot of emotions. I wasn't comfortable with that. It even made me angry but I loved you for it. Then I sang you my song. It was too many emotions for me. I went into my room and cried. Now, we come to this point. We're fighting because Lindsay broke up with you and I see her point. I don't want to fight with you, Damo. You're the only family I've ever have." I started sobbing. I put my face in my palms and cried. Damian pulled me closer to him and held me. I wrapped my arms around him and just sobbed. I hadn't cried like this ever. It was like I was clearing out all the emotions I had bottled up over the years.
Damo whispered comforting words into my ear. His soothing Irish voice soothed me. I look up at him and made eye contact. He leaned in. I took the chance.
We kissed. I hopped off the counter and led him to the couch. We sat down and kissed again. He cupped my face tenderly and I put one hand on his shoulder and the other I wrapped around his neck.
It was almost like relief; like this had been waiting to happen for the four years we'd known each other. Sure, I'd fantasized about it when I was younger but the reality was so much better.
"I love you," he whispered between a kiss.
"I love you too," I said back.