Spottedpaw was tired, but in a good way. The day had been spent in near silence as cats kept their heads down to keep from slipping. Spottedpaw put all her energy into leaping higher and higher away from the ground as she scaled the nearly bare rocks towards the summit.
SkyClan had gathered at the top of the first peak at twilight, the cats panting but proud as the first mass of rock had been conquered. Half the Clan had been sent out to hunt while the other half stayed back. Spottedpaw was part of the former group.
The tortishell she-cat sniffed the air carefully, hoping she could bring back some prey. The thing about the quiet was that she couldn't stop herself from thinking. She wanted to believe she could throw every ounce of herself into the journey, but it wasn't possible. Her mind kept wandering from the rocks in front of her as she searched for prey. She thought about Puddlepaw and Mistpaw, about Lionpaw and Spiderpaw, and about Sagepatch and Creekstone and Haykit and Birchkit. Spottedpaw felt lonesome despite all the cats who claimed to like and love her. Puddlepaw had Spiderpaw. Mistpaw had Lionpaw. Sagepatch had Creekstone. Though the two weren't mates, Haykit and Birchkit were inseparable.
Spottedpaw had no one.
Cats talked to her and were friendly with her, but no one wanted her the way her parents wanted each other or the way her sisters wanted the two sons of Ravenstar. Spottedpaw could sense the pity that her family members felt for her. She could see it in her mother's eyes each time the two spoke.
A rock slipped from beneath her paw, causing Spottedpaw to slip and fall, ending up looking like she was hugging the mountain. "Focus," she muttered to herself as she stood up, sniffing the air once more. She thought she smelled a mouse not far off. She dropped into a hunting crouch, trying to recall the lessons Tawnythroat had offered as they journeyed.
There's little cover in rocky areas, so you can't rely on your ability to hide yourself when hunting, Tawnythroat had instructed. Sure, pressing yourself against the rock is a good idea because you might be able to pass for a piece of the landscape, but it won't be enough. You have to play defensive. Step as lightly as possible and don't let your fur sweep the rocks; the less noise you make, the better off you'll be. You have to be downwind of your prey or you'll never catch anything.
Spottedpaw remembered her mentor pausing, both so she could catch her breath and so the information could have a chance to sink in to the apprentice's memory.
Now you have two options, the she-cat had continued. You can rush at your prey as fast as you can or you can creep up slowly and try your luck that way. Both have their ups and downs, though I'd suggest the former for prey like birds and rabbits and the latter for slower animals like mice and voles. You also need to take in the weather and the specific surroundings. For instance, if there were lots of loose pebbles it would be advisable to dash for it or else you could send down a shower while you were still a good fox-length away and scare off your prey. If it were raining you'd want to take it slow; it's harder to see and you never know if you're about to pelt off of a cliff.
"The weather is agreeable," Spottedpaw murmured as softly as she could. "And the rocks are fairly hard-packed. Which means…I have to choose," she decided as the mouse came into view. With a deep breath, the apprentice ran at the prey. The mouse didn't look up until Spottedpaw was directly about it, shooting down with claws unsheathed. The she-cat caught the rodent easily in her claws. She could tell that the creatures here weren't used to being hunted. She swiftly killed the animal and thanked StarClan for its life.
"Hey!" a voice called from a ways off. Spottedpaw looked up to see Creamfur bounding towards her. "Can you tell me where the Clan is?" the warrior asked anxiously. "I tumbled into some strong-smelling plants and I can't scent a thing. This bird doesn't help," she babbled, holding up her catch.
Not being able to decide whether she should laugh or sigh, Spottedpaw did neither, instead merely nodding and leading the ditzy warrior back to the rest of SkyClan. Spottedpaw set her mouse down on the sizable pile of prey, looking around to see if the queens, elders, and kits had food. She saw them all eating, so the apprentice selected a shrew from the pile and padded over to the fringe of the group. She seemed to be ending up an outsider a lot these days.
"Cats of SkyClan!" Ravenstar called, causing Spottedpaw to look up from her meal. "Yesterday I spoke of our Clan becoming stronger because of the hardships we face. Today marks a day where we grow stronger."
Spottedpaw looked around, glad to see that she wasn't the only cat who looked thoroughly confused. She fixed her gaze back on Ravenstar, waiting for him to elaborate on his words.
"Puddlepaw, Mistpaw, Spottedpaw, step forward," the large black tom requested, eyes alight with cheer.
There was no time for Spottedpaw to be shocked. She scrambled ungracefully to her feet, joining her sisters at the front of the crowd of cats. She held her head as high as she dared, forcing her limbs not to tremble as she looked up at Ravenstar.
"I, Ravenstar of SkyClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these apprentices. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn." Ravenstar paused. "It is untraditional for me to say this, but I daresay it must be said. These apprentices were made such just before our old home was destroyed. They have endured much more loss than they could have imagined when they were in the nursery. We must hope that in naming them warriors, our new home might be formed."
A long pause followed these words as the Clan drank them in. Though they stayed quiet, and though Spottedpaw couldn't see them, she knew that they agreed. They wanted the hardships of SkyClan to be over. They needed something, anything that they could hold onto. They just wanted a home.
"Do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your life?" Ravenstar finally continued.
"I do," Spottedpaw meowed with conviction, perfectly in unison with Puddlepaw and Mistpaw.
"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior names: Puddlepaw, from this moment you will be known as Puddlefrost. StarClan honors your kindness and curiosity, and we welcome you as a full warrior of SkyClan."
The leader rested his muzzle on Puddlefrost's head before the gray she-cat stepped away and let him continue the ceremony.
"Mistpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Mistsong. StarClan honors your devotion and heart, and we welcome you as a full warrior of SkyClan," Ravenstar meowed, resting his muzzle on the she-cat's head and allowing her to lick his shoulder in respect.
"And finally, Spottedpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Spottedflight. StarClan honors your independence and determination, and we welcome you as a full warrior of SkyClan."
The next few moments passed in a blur as Spottedflight followed the traditional procedure. She hardly heard the Clan call out the three new warrior names. She was only half-paying attention as Ravenstar announced that she would sit vigil with her sisters tonight. She couldn't stop thinking about what the leader had said.
Independence.
Spottedflight wanted to tear out his throat for that. She wanted to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for herself. She wanted to run away and never return.
Independence.
It was just a word. She couldn't let it break her. But it hurt. Spottedflight was alone. Everybody knew that she was alone. She was utterly alone, and no one seemed to realize how much it hurt. No one seemed to realize that she had to live every day watching her sisters be in love with toms who loved them back.
Independence, independence, independence.
She repeated the word over and over in her head as she watched Puddlefrost nuzzle Spiderpaw. The gray she-cat couldn't speak now that the sky was dark, but Spottedflight could see that the two didn't need words to communicate.
Independence.
Her eyes moved subconsciously to see Lionpaw lick Mistsong's cheek in congratulations. Mistsong purred, returning the action with a grin of sheer joy.
Independence.
Spottedflight looked up to the sky, imagining herself as the lonely star that twinkled by itself in the expanse of dark blue.
Independence.