Due to your disappointment with the last chapter I hope you like this one more…
"That went better than I expected," Ginny said in almost disbelief,
"It did." Harry confirmed
He looked around the room, lots of memories his eyes fell most specifically on the bed, where this whole thing had started. In the days when he swore it would be like that forever. The days when the secrets were only the ones he would disclose. After Voldemort, all the darkness he had withheld from everyone (including his best friends), all the darkness only he could truly understand, he had dismissed it, and after he caught what would be the last of Voldemort's followers he had begun to look at life differently.
He had felt they were growing distant, he saw her sporadically in their last few months "together", and she seemed worn from it all. That's why he had brought the ring the day of graduation, he hoped it would ignite the fire that used to burn so passionately for them. Yet she had turned the tables, and for the first time she told him to wait.
Now here they were a year later and everything had changed. Ginny was not exactly the girl he remembered, she was stern and wise, turning more like her mother everyday.
He looked over to Sophie, he wouldn't think about the anger right now. He wouldn't focus as to why she never said anything, why she kept the birth of his first child from him, or how in the hell she could think that it would all be okay. He was angry, he was furious, but something he had learned over the past few years was that anger does not help anyone. To yell at Ginny would accomplish nothing except to let off steam, and he didn't need to do that in front of Sophie, she deserved better.
"You okay?" Ginny asked unpacking her clothes, rocking Sophie in her safety seat when she could,
"Fine, I think I'm going to go on a walk I need some fresh air," Harry looking unsure for the first time in a while
"Okay," Ginny responded smiling, "I'm glad everybody knows now and tonight, it will be fun, it will," she was trying to convince herself but she wasn't to certain it would be.
Hermione knew, Harry would pretend to know, and Ron wouldn't… what would Harry say when he found out Hermione had known and didn't tell him, or that she didn't tell Ron.
"Ginny dear," her mom said stepping into the room quietly, "Here, your father pulled it out of storage," she set the shrunken wooden crib on the floor and transfigured it to a more suitable size,
"Thank you so much," Ginny said picking up Sophie to place her into the crib,
"We wouldn't have been angry," Mrs Weasley said as she was turning to leave, "We wouldn't have been proud, but we would have been okay," Ginny hadn't moved, she had been facing the wall,
"I just, for the longest time I didn't want to believe it myself. I left because I wanted to prove that I could stand on my own, that I could do something on my own terms and I am doing well mom, really well, the dean told me if I keep this up I could hold a place on any international defense team I chose," Mrs. Weasley nodded still not looking like she understood,
"It would have been nice to know dear, that's all" and with that she left, Mrs. Weasley had never been one to experience things quietly, yet this was not something she expected from Ginny, even though she apologized it didn't change how betrayed she felt, as though Ginny had feared they wouldn't care for her anymore. What kind of parent put that fear into their child? Had she and Arthur become the parents they had tried to be devoid of becoming their entire lives?
That was just it they hadn't and Ginny still felt she couldn't trust anyone, she had kept it all to herself, it was almost selfish when she really thought about it. She dismissed the thoughts from her mind and proceeded to finish cooking dinner for her family.
Ginny had sorted through most of her clothes, and there in the bottom of her suitcase was the picture that had sat face down in the drawer by her bed. The picture of she and Harry on his eighteenth birthday, he had finally defeated Voldemort, and come back to Ginny for what she thought was going to be forever. That was the night that they had taken things farther than they had ever before, the night they didn't hold back.
She remembered waking up the next morning feeling different, there was a need for him she couldn't explain, she wanted to drink him in, feel him all around her, and when she left in September the feelings didn't change.
She spent her days somewhat distracted, finishing her schoolwork with Luna usually she would fall asleep waiting for her daily letter from Harry, sometimes they were brief, sometimes they were long, and sometimes they didn't come.
By the time December had come she was miserable, and over the Holidays things hadn't changed, Harry was doing work, visiting Ron when he could, and usually late in the evening he would come see Ginny. It had scared her, she knew he loved her but during the holidays whenever they were together they would talk for a while, and then… she couldn't even bring herself to think it. Not to say she didn't want to but she didn't want it to become all they did. It was then that the need for him somewhat distanced itself from her.
After the holidays she had received the letter of invitation from the International Defense League (as well as a number of other organizations). She had at first thought it was a pleasant offer but she probably had a ministry job waiting for her in close coordinates with Harry. However as the year progressed she had meetings with McGonagall who was very adamant that Ginny follow through with her potential and greatly consider the offers she was being given, offers that were not likely to surface again.
That was when she began to see just how much she had changed, she had become one of those girls who sits around and waits for a boy, one of those girls who has become so wrapped up in another person's life they fail to remember what is important to them. She looked at herself in the mirror that night and cried, for the first time since Sirius had died she just cried.
From that point on she had vowed to work hard, and let the chips fall where they may. She knew Harry could feel the distance growing between them, his letters had remained the same length but they weren't daily anymore, when he came to visit he would help her with her schoolwork before they… well, and afterwards, they would lay there in silence.
No words needed to be said, for the silence had spoken for itself in those last months.
Harry looked out to the countryside. He had found this spot after his third year when he wanted to write Sirius. Up until he had spoken to Mr. Weasley Harry had put all of his anger aside, up until then he had kept his cool, up until then he acted like it was all going to be okay.
But it wasn't, Ginny was right, things had always been hard, and she had just made them harder. Why didn't she tell him? Why hadn't she written him or come to see him? Why wasn't he there to see Sophie come into the world? Would he ever really be able to forgive her for that?
He hated this, he had stopped being angry for a long time. She had messed it all up, there was no way to repair it, how was this going to happen?
"Harry?" it was Ginny,
"Yes?" he asked coldly
"You're not fine," she stated sitting next to him,
"No, I guess I'm not,"
"Want to talk about it?" her voice was a little shakey
"It's broken," was all he said staring at the ground in front of him,
"What do you mean?" she was scared now,
"Us, this, I though I could forgive you and see past all of this, I thought that I could be that bigger man but I can't. I missed the birth of my CHILD. MY CHILD GINNY! All I have ever wanted since I was old enough to know what it was I have wanted a family of my own to love. And since the day I kissed you in the common room I wanted that family with you," angry tears were starting to stream through his otherwise dry eyes,
"Harry we can still,"
"No Ginny, we cant you ROBBED ME, of those memories I cant have back, all of my hopes of building a solid family with you and me and a home somewhere that we could build not only a home but pieces of us, those hopes are shattered," he was standing now, not exactly yelling, but not speaking in soft tones either, Ginny nodded refusing to cry, she didn't deserve to,
"How can I trust you? How can we fix this? Tell me and I'll try but I don't see it. And the worst part is: you were it. For me you were everything and I don't know how I could ever feel that way about anyone again, even for you, you broke it, you broke us," Ginny nodded her breaths becoming uneven
"We were tearing long before I made the rip," she said still fighting back the tears, "You knew it too, I know you did, that's why I ran, I wanted to get away I didn't want to be there when it all fell apart," that was when the angry tears stopped
"For Sophie's sake, we are going to be friends, if we can, but its going to take a LONG time before we can pick up the pieces to whatever it was we used to have. Until then we are going to be amicable, to your parents, to your family, and even to Ron and Hermione who will kill us when they find out that we didn't tell them," Ginny nodded, standing up slowly,
"This has been a long goodbye," she inhaled quickly, "I guess its time we faced it," her face was tight, she was biting her lip, and then walked back up to her room,
Harry turned his back, he didn't watch her leave, he stood up and walked further away until he tripped on a rock,
"Aw bloody hell!" he picked it up and through it as far as he could, he just kept shaking his head, "Accio Firebolt!" and within a few minutes, there it was, he got on and flew, and flew, and flew, until all he could feel was the wind. He vowed that when he landed, he would put it behind him and move forward.
The sun was setting and it was time for him to go back, and as he got closer and closer to the ground he felt everything getting lighter, the pain seemingly ripped away.
He landed just as Ron and Hermione arrived, followed shortly by the rest of the Weasley clan. Just as everyone gathered Harry went upstairs, he knocked on the door to Ginny's room,
"They're here" was all he said
"I'll be right there, Sophie is napping for now," she spoke the words quickly so he couldn't here how much it pained her
"I'll wait" she opened the door, her face looked clear, she looked fresh in a sundress she had bought years ago,
"Lets go," she said simply, they walked down the stairs, Harry cleared his throat,
"We wanted to wait until you all arrived," he said looking at all of her brothers, "We have some news," he said forcing a smile,
"What you two finally done shagging and are getting married?" George said laughing, Mr Weasley darted a look,
"No George," Ginny said almost glaring, "Harry and I have a daughter," the room went silent with blank stares, "I found out this summer, and she was born on Christmas,"
Harry stared right back at all of them, "Sophie Evan Potter,"
"We wanted to tell you but there just hasn't been a time when you are all together, and we had to work some things out,"
"What in the bloody hell do you mean you had things to work out! Harry I'm your best mate and you knocked up my sister and didn't have the guts to tell me!" Ginny looked scared, she didn't want to cause a rift between them she really didn't
"I'm sorry Ron, this was something she- we wanted to keep quiet," Harry stated blankly
"And for good reason, pretty soon the whole world will know how the chosen one knocked up a Weasley, didn't marry her, and how they have an illegitimate child and are living fancily in a two bedroom in downtown London," George laughed, no one else did, Fred stared at Harry,
"We have always considered you to be a part of this family Harry, you could have at least had the respect to tell us, to come to us as a MAN and tell us,"
"And I'm your sister, and I didn't even want to tell Harry much less have him tell you, I made him SWEAR he wouldn't, but he wanted to," Ginny snapped at her brother
"It just isn't right," Charlie said shaking his head, taking Fleur's hand into the next room over,
"Look I know this bloody sucks, this whole situation, I realize that and so does Harry, but I haven't done much in my life to make you guys ashamed of me and we have been handling this for almost a year on our own, and don't need you guys to be a part of our daughters life! We just thought you might like to be," and with that Ginny ran back up to her room, Harry didn't follow,
"I'm sorry," he said, "We messed up, but we want to make it right," George was the first to step forward and shake Harry's hand,
"Alright lad," he said solemnly
"I don't know," Fred said shaking Harry's hand
Bill was the only one who really hadn't spoken, he stepped forward,
"You always knew how to take care of her better than we did," he nodded at Harry and shook his hand
Harry looked at his best friend, he looked like he didn't even know him,
"I told you to go for it with Claire, no wonder you felt so conflicted it, the little woman and baby were at home so what did it matter. Every time you looked at me, every- you lied to me,"
"I'm sorry Ron," was all that Harry would say
"YOU'RE SORRY! YOU KNOCK UP MY SISTER AND DON'T TELL ME AND YOU ARE SORRY?" Hermione was looking frazzled
"Ron, please,"
"No Hermione! Why aren't you more angry? They lied to you too!"
"Ron I don't think we understand the whole story here," she said now looking at Harry, who was taken aback at this,
"Hermione what do you,"
"Nothing Harry, I just… I don't think this is something you wouldn't tell us if you could," Hermione was more insightful than Harry had remembered,
"Your right," was all he said,
"Then what! What is going on?!?!"
"Later Ron, just calm down and we will discuss this privately," Hermione said nodding at Harry,
Ron stormed off to the dining room with Hermione in tow, Harry looked upstairs, he wouldn't go after her this time, he couldn't.
Harry sat quietly in one of the pair of seats near the end of the table where a seat for Sophie was waiting.
"Ginny dear! Dinner!" she didn't respond to her mother's call but a few minutes later she could be heard coming down,
Sophie was in her pajamas, scarlet with brooms, she was always happy when she woke up and didn't get hungry until about an hour later, so Ginny had time before she had to feed her, but a good excuse to leave the table.
Ginny sat down next to Sophie and near her mother, she didn't say a word except to her mother and Sophie. Harry barely looked at her, Ron glared at both of them.
"So true story, I had ice cream today," George started, "It was blue, yellow, and red, and I mean BLUE, YELLOW, AND RED. And I went to the loo today, and I had blue poop,"
The whole table burst into laughter, even Ginny broke a smile, and looked at George as if to say thank you.
"She's beautiful," Bill said looking at both Harry and Ginny,
"Yeah, she really is," Harry agreed looking at his daughter and holding fingers with her, Ginny looked pained,
"So what will you do about school?" Charlie asked somewhat timidly,
"Sophie will stay with me at school, I have a house elf to help while I'm in classes and Jules and Dane are over all the time to help when I need it," Harry seemed to sneer at the thought of other people being closer to his child than he was,
"I bought flat nearby," Harry added, "I will live there during the off season, and when the season starts I will come and see Sophie as much as possible," Ginny wasn't sure if anyone else noted that he said Sophie not "them".
"So you will be here for the summer?" piped up Fred's date Susan who up until now hadn't said much,
"Yes," Ginny responded trying to smile,
The family continued eating making light conversation, when Sophie started looking uncomfortable Ginny took her first chance to leave the table. She took Sophie upstairs where the bottles were waiting.
Ron had begun to notice an awkwardness between Harry and Ginny which is why he had gone from being fiercely mad, to just angry. While Hermione, she was just baffled as to what to say to either of them.
Harry took this opportunity to leave,
"Well, it was good seeing you all," he looked at Ron more specifically, then headed upstairs to say goodbye to Sophie before he left, Ginny was burping her,
"I'm leaving, I'll owl you tomorrow as to when I'm coming to pick her up," Ginny was surprised,
"Pick her up?"
"I want time alone with her too Ginny, she is my daughter too,"
"But I, fine I'll owl you when she goes down for her afternoon nap, it usually lasts for about three hours and then you can take her,"
"Alright," he said looking down at Sophie,
"You get to be with your Daddy tomorrow sweet girl," she smiled at his words, "Bye," he said quickly before leaving.
Ginny picked up her daughter and held her close, "It's broken…"
"Ginny?" it was Ron,
"Yes?" she was not happy to see him,
"What is going on? Why didn't you tell us?" Hermione followed behind him looking very guilty,
"I didn't tell anyone, Harry found out earlier this WEEK," Ron was startled yet again
"But you guy said," Ron was getting confused
"He said that because that is what he wanted to tell people, so I wouldn't catch all the heat, but he didn't know Ron,"
"How could you keep this from him? Is that why things are off between you?" he said now looking at Sophie
"For good. Things are off with us for good. He won't be able to forgive me for this one," she looked hurt, and Ron looked uncomfortable
"Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you didn't tell him about his kid," Ginny just let her eyes bore into him,
"I should have, but that doesn't help me now does it Ronald, now please leave my room,"
"Ginny, he-" Hermione started,
"No Hermione, he's right, I just want to be alone," Hermione nodded and they both left
That was it, she just wanted to be alone, and that was what she had wanted in the beginning; to be alone. Now that she was… she didn't know what she wanted, but it wasn't this, she never wanted this.
I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free
But it sure is hard to do
It sure is hard to do
I know they say if it dont come back again
Then its meant to be
Those words dont pull me through
Cause Im still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
Its just you and me going through the mill
Climbing up a hill
This is a long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love cant make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
No matter how hard I try
I always make you cry
Come on baby its over
Lets face it
All thats happening here is a long goodbye
Sometimes I ask my heart
Did we really give our love a chance?
But I know without a doubt
We turned it inside out
And if we walked away would it make more sense
But it tears me up inside
Just to think we still could try
How long must we keep running on a carousel?
Going round and round and never getting anywhere
On a wing and prayer
"The Long Goodbye" – Brooks and Dunn (stories namesake)
I hope this chapter made up for some of yalls disappointment in the last one. ;-) Next chapter Ginny and Harry cope with being "amicable" and mistakes will be made….