Chapter 2: Running From Nothing
"Come on, Sam!" came a pleading voice. I almost bought it, but knowing the source… I turned to face the male once again, being careful not to show signs of defiance, no matter how much my wolf growled at me to do so. She did not like being kept quiet, especially with a barely controlled male in the room. It was only by the control of the third denizen that I was even able to stay in control.
"I said no." My answer, even to me, sounded forced but with little force behind it. I turned away, back to the bookshelf I was perusing not moments before. It was common knowledge among the pack—and a common joke—that any wolf who read as much as I must be crazy. In a way, I suppose that was true. I never asked for this. Never in a million years. A hand lit upon my shoulder, turning me forcibly around.
"Not even to satisfy the wolf?" he asked again, his eyes tingeing to the typical wolfish yellow. It was also common knowledge that this particular wolf—most know him as O'reily, but he was about as Irish as I was—would hit on anything that moved, especially if they happened to be half wolf. "You owe me one, remember?" Before I had a chance to respond, the third presence in the room entered my vision, laying a heavy hand on O'reily's shoulder, much as his hand lay on mine.
"That's not how a gentleman behaves, is it O'reily?"
The smooth voice stopped him in his tracks. But he smiled at me, regretfully as he released his hold on me, turning away as he walked quickly away. It gave me a bit of pleasure to know that, had he been a wolf, his tail would have been between his legs.
"Thank you, Alex," I said, my voice sounding much smaller than I intended. The wolf growled at me, wanting to rip O'reily to shreds even with his back turned. But unlike usual, it was no trouble keeping her at bay, not with the Alpha's calming power so near.
"Here," he said, drawing my eyes to what he held in one hand. "You might like this one." Apparently, the rest of the pack knew of my taste in books. Historical fiction. "What could be more boring?" some of them had joked, with me present of course. I took the book and glanced at it. Ah, a civil war novel. It could be decent.
I turned away but a gentle touch on my shoulder stopped me. The wolf hated how every touch made me pause, as if expecting something to happen. She just wanted me to leave the room, to get away from the males trying to dominate her. But it was Alex's touch, and that was enough to quiet her. For now. He drew my chin up, to look in his eyes.
Normally a dark blue while he is human, I was a little surprised to see how light they were. The wolf inside me growled slightly, realizing how close he was to changing. Why would he change now? The moon became full two days ago, plenty of time for its spell to wear off…Something sent a shiver down my spine, and I broke his grip to look down, once more submissive. A wolf's gaze was unsettling in a human skull.
"Don't let him bug you, alright?" he said, and I heard the slight strain in his voice. He was trying to regain control, for whatever reason. Why did he nearly lose it in the first place, was my question. But I could not ask. Well, perhaps, since Alex was perfectly comfortable with his place and his dominance, he might stand the lowest of the low to ask. But I did not want to risk it, in case he did change. Thank god O'reily left before now. He would have a fit, laughing in his uproarious manner at the sight of the Alpha and the scum exchanging books and more than one meaningful, if unreadable, expression.
I nodded dumbly, unable to look up. My wolfsubsided, so he must be back in control. I watched his feet as he turns to go, and do the same, about to place the book in a place of honor on the shelf, to read next. But my senses, stronger than a normal human's, heard his soft footsteps pause and scuffle lightly as he turns back. I waited, book poised against the edge of the shelf, head turned slightly, as if looking over my shoulder. I listened.
"Care for a Run?" he asked casually. Why was I not surprised? Yet in a way, I was. Changing took energy. We rarely did it for frivolous purposes such as a joy run through the nearby mountains or scaring the local punks. I slid the book into the shelf deftly before turning around. This time, I did meet his gaze, feeling oddly calm. A small smile touched my lips, unexpected and rare.
"I'd like that."
One thing was for darn sure. This Run was definitely not what I expected. The sun was setting over the mountains now, setting the leaves of the oaks and ashes on fire as a light mist rose from the valleys. No wonder these mountains were called the Smokies. A sigh escaped me as I watch, enchanted, the presence beside me almost ignored.
Alex had driven me in his beat up Ford to a secluded grove to where every wolf has been. It was our traditional meeting grounds for the full-moon's call. It was also a rendezvous for such times as this, when the call of the wolf is just too strong, even without the aid of the moon. He turned off the truck then, and we both hopped out, silent as the forest spoke around us. On opposite sides of the car, we changed. Alex is a gentleman in that regard, since—being wolf—modesty is not a desired trait. Yet he respected me, the lowest, enough to give some privacy. For which I was thankful.
A moment or two passed, silent as we both listened, adapting to the change. The forest came alive before us, scents, sounds, and feelings running amok in our wolf-heightened senses. I remember the smell of pine filling my nose, undercurrents of soil and water breaking in every now and again. It was calm then and I remember shaking my fur, stretching tired muscles. It had seemed like ages since I last changed, even though the full moon had beckoned only days earlier. But it still felt…invigorating. If it hadn't, I doubt I would have ended up the same way. I remember walking from behind the truck and spotting Alex already striding into the woods, his tail high. He looked back over his slate shoulder as I padded near, ears flattened and tail low as usual. He held his head high and I remember the laugh that lit his sky eyes. He nipped gently at my nose.
We ran then, dodging over scattered boulders and upheld roots, weaving amidst the trees and brush, but I always stayed slightly behind Alex in deference. Even there, rank held sway, though the wolf would not care. I felt her calling. In my very bones, I could feel the wolf trying to get free, to control her russet form through the woods. This was her realm, after all. For once, it was exhilarating to let the wolf take over. She took the reigns as I relaxed my hold, letting me float to the background, watching through her eyes. Then I truly ran.
The wolf took over quickly; using instincts I try to ignore to dodge the next rock, to leap the next creek. She caught up quickly, too, running beside her Alpha as any Second would. Alex glanced over once with his cool blue eyes, laughter in them despite the wild dominating their depths. A lifetime of learning was in that gaze, a knowing she had not had time to learn. She was young yet. A clearing lay before them, she could feel it, smell the fresh grass, the clear open air. The trees thinned, soon leaving the pair of wolves alone in a small field, sniffing and glancing up at the free sky. She slowed, lowering her gaze to glance at the small wildflowers decorating the grass, pausing to smell one. Gently, her paw touched one, shifting it slightly in the grass. She could feel Alex's blue eyes on her and looked up.
Only to be tackled not a moment later.
She yelped, the surprise attack knocking her to the ground as Alex pinned her down. She growled and snapped at his throat, at the same time scrabbling with her paws to find purchase in his slate fur. It was a game. The wolf knew that perfectly well. Puppy play she thought long abandoned in the harshness of reality. But she soon learned that not everything is lost to the past. Alex leapt from her, easily dodging her feeble attempts to swipe at him. She rolled to her feet, staring him down, half crouched in the grass as he watched her. Slate watched red. Blue watched gold. She leapt first this round, and he turned slightly to the side, the brunt of the blow slamming into his shoulder, knocking him off balance. She pressed her advantage with a bark of laughter, tripping him up with one paw. He went down.
But he didn't stay there for long.
So went the round of play as the sun began to sink over the hills. Alex paused then, his back pinned to the ground beneath her, looking up at the sky. He went serious and she hopped off, wondering why her Alpha suddenly changed. He rolled to stand and shook himself, beckoning with a swish of his tail as he trotted off. Up the hills they climbed then, nimbly and carefully, yet there was a sense of urgency in his movements, a subtle speed that lent fire to her pace. Around them, the oaks and ashes slowly thinned as they neared the summit of the rounded mountain, blades of grass more common than pungent leaves. Alex veered to the side, and she followed, dodging a tree in the process as her Alpha leapt over a creek. She sprinted across a log, picking her heels up as a squirrel protests her claws in its home. Alex, barely visible among the trees and reddened glow, stopped and turned then, his frame silhouetted against the trees. But the wolf did not take time to admire the sight, though I would remember the quickening of our pulse.
Alex walked off this time, over a small rise and out of sight. But she pressed on, quickly gaining ground in the ever-thinning ashes. And he was before her, standing, staring up at the sky as stars began to light the sky. He turned his head slightly, watching as the russet wolf entered the small glen, head high, ears forward with curiosity. It felt safe there, alone with the Alpha for once in her life.
Long since that moment, the two wolves changed, letting their human halves enjoy the setting sun and rising moon. We sat together, leaning against a tree, he lounging nearly on his back, completely relaxed, while I rested my chin on my knees, watching the sun sink ever lower on the horizon. I heard Alex sigh, a deep throaty sound that stirred a deep breath of my own. This was a first. Around a male, both dressed simply in what God gave us to begin with, and feeling not at all threatened. Who would have guessed it possible? Certainly not I. But yet here I sat, perfectly content to watch the sunset, painting the trees with fire. Too bad Alex didn't have the same idea.
"Don't let asses like O'reily get to you," he said suddenly, continuing the earlier conversation in a quite voice. I turned my head to him, a bit startled by the statement, but hoped I didn't look it. Apparently I didn't, for Alex turned his gaze away, watching the trees. "Folk like him…" he paused, taking a breath and shaking his head. "Folk like him need someone to abuse." He turned and I met his gaze unconsciously, suddenly feeling our differing ranks very distinctly. "If you ignore him, he'll find someone else to harass."
His gaze held me firm, refusing to let me look away. His eyes, the clear crystalline blue of his wolf, startled me into leaning away slightly, defensively. Why would he be so close to changing? I felt no need. His control must have been…impeccable. A tingle ran up my spine.
He smiled, nervous laughter bubbling from his lips. I stared, uncomprehending.
"This is supposed to be a two-sided conversation."
I felt my cheeks heat in embarrassment. I could only manage a single syllable.
"Oh."
His laugh echoed in my ears, and I feel my own chuckle rising. I couldn't explain my sudden nervousness; but nor could I explain the sudden ease his laugh sent through me. I turned to look at him, wondering why my response tickled him so, and met his calm smile, blue eyes still laughing at me though I felt no mockery. I looked down, my own smile turning my lips at the ridiculousness of it all. The two of us, clothing left in the truck, and neither felt tension. On a mountain, no less, watching the sun set. Soon, after giving me a few moments to collect what dignity I had left, Alex's gaze turned serious, though his smile changed only slightly.
"Seriously, Sam," he said then, catching my gaze once more. It felt like all of my feelings were laid bare, that he could read me like the books I so cherished. But that was ludicrous, I knew. But I couldn't help the feeling. "There's something about you that draws people like O'reily to you." He cocked his head to one side. "Before you say it, I know how terrible that sounds," he explains, though I wasn't about to interrupt. My curiosity was piqued. I could feel my wolf listening as well. "Maybe he has particular interest because he Changed you," he said with a shrug, as if the information didn't matter. It did to me, though. What I wouldn't give to have been Changed by another. Or not Changed at all.
"That's why," I answer quietly, looking away from Alex, my gaze distant. I hadn't wanted to be Changed. Not then, not ever. But I could feel, in a part of my mind close to the wolf, that something was different. The feeling was gone quickly though, lost from my grasp before I could even hope to place it. I shook myself, much like a wolf shaking fur. This shook the goose-bumps suddenly sprouting on my arms. It was then I realized how cold it was getting. I swallowed, driving memories of that night from my mind, though I don't remember much besides feelings. Those were enough for me.
Alex remained silent beside me. I heard him shift his position, scooting back to lean against the tree beside me, our shoulders nearly touching. I could feel him brooding. The silence between us grew, stretching until I could feel it reach the breaking point. The sun sank below the horizon at last, leaving the land covered in dusk, the moon's light beginning to dominate. I shivered under the darkening sky.
"We should get back," Alex finally said, shattering the tense silence that fell between us. His voice sounded tense, the way it always sounded when he was thinking. I heard him push himself from the ground and I quickly followed suit, playing my part as the submissive. He was thinking, which did not usually mean good things to come. I turned to give him privacy for the Change, but a swift hand caught my arm. Unconsciously I stiffened, not even bothering to look up. A left over reaction from the night I was Changed. Another hand drew into my vision, lifting my chin and turning it to stare into ice blue eyes. No, Alex was not happy.
But he said nothing. He simply stared into my hazel eyes, as if searching for something. I could not force my gaze away, as much as I desired to. I searched his eyes frantically, looking for some sign of what had sparked his anger. With his wolf so near, mine was trying furiously to surface. I barely managed to control her, though I was shaking with the effort. I wondered absently what O'reily would have thought if he were able to see this seen. No doubt that I was finally getting what I deserved, though I had no idea what that was.
After what seemed an eternity, Alex released me, turning quickly away. I could not read his expression. Even my wolf could get no trace of what bothered him. That unsettled me more than his wolfish gaze. The only way I realized he was beginning to Change was because my wolf surged to the surface in a fury. But the sight of her Alpha so distant calmed her, made her a bit worried in fact. When Alex began to run from the clearing, she followed closely, but not too closely. Some instinct of rank still held sway with her.
The car ride back was just as silent. I felt uncomfortable being in such a confined space with a brooding Alpha. What had I said? I kept casting sideways glances at him, hoping he wouldn't notice as he drove recklessly back to our little wooded cabin village. Gravel crunched beneath the worn tires of the truck as he slowed to a halt in front of the cabin I lived in. I opened the door and stepped out.
"Sam," came Alex's voice and it stopped me in my tracks. I turned to look at him, my gaze hooded and tired. It had been a long and confusing day. "Take care."
And he was off. The dust was only beginning to settle as I turned to walk up to the cabin. A body blocked my path as I climbed the set of stone stairs. I didn't bother to look up.
"Back off, O'reily," were my only words. I didn't even slow down as he turned out of my way. The cabin door shut blissfully behind me, sealing off O'reily, his comments, and my own confusion. With a deep breath and a weary tread, I climbed the ladder to the loft that I shared with no one. The males had their own rooms on the ground floor. But I liked the comfort of the loft. And when it rained, the tin roof would sing me to sleep. Too bad it was clear as crystal tonight. I sighed and fell into my bed, not even bothering with the covers.
I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.