Chapter 3: Changing
Several weeks had past, and autumn showed the way for winter to come in all its fury. I hated winter. It always seemed too cold for me, even as a wolf. Probably something having to do with the lack of proper protein. I'd practically become a vegetarian in the past weeks, trying to get a full protein with endless meals of rice and beans. But there were only so many ways to make that meal interesting. With a sigh, I scrape what was left of my meal into the garbage can. It hadn't been worth the can it came from. But there was hope for tonight. The moon had been calling all day, promising a change after full-dark. For the first time, I longed for my wolf to take over. Then it would not be me who felt the pain of hunger for a few heart-racing hours.
The cabin felt charged. All of us could feel the change near, could hear the moon's sultry call. It was not so strong that I couldn't resist, not yet. I still had some control. But soon I would let go, when Alex's call rang through the pines and oaks. I wander over to my bookshelf, grab a random novel and climb the ladder to my loft. Maybe reading would take my mind off the coming Hunt, the chance for red meat, actual protein. Even as I tried to get into the story of a poor lad with a thick accent traveling up a very big river and failing, I could feel my wolf close. No doubt if I looked in the mirror, my eyes would be tinged gold. I sighed again and set the book aside. Leaning back in my bed, I stared at the ceiling, trying to ignore the urges my wolf sent me.
Sometime between reading and not, I fell asleep. How did I know? I woke up and the sun was much lower in the sky. And the two wolves I shared this cabin with were no longer watching the TV, for it was off. For once. I sat up in the bed, wondering what time it was exactly. The digital alarm clock claimed it was 8:30. Someone was wrong. Either the sky or the clock, and I bet the clock. Swinging my legs over, I didn't feel any better for the brief nap and can only hope I have a little more time before the sun set and the Hunt began.
But the sky lied. The light I saw was not that of the sun, but of the porchlight's reflection on the clouds and the fine snow falling from the trees, deposited there in yesterday's snowfall. In cases like these, there was rarely a more appropriate response than…
"Shit."
The wolf pushed against my control, wanting to be let out, to hunt with her packmates. But she had to wait a little while longer, at least until I got out of the cabin. Then she could take over all she wanted. Instead of taking the ladder down, I just jumped over the protective railing, thankful for the extra resilience of muscle and bone. No normal person would have survived that fall without at least a broken ankle. All I had to do was fall to one knee upon landing and spring right back up, heading for the door. But then again, I wasn't fully human, was I? For once, I was glad for my other half that gave strength to taut muscle and wiry sinew. But I was soon reminded of her feral nature as a growl ripped from my throat and I bolted through the door.
In the open air I could hear their calls. Why did every Change end up like this? With me being the last to arrive? My control couldn't be that great to keep the wolf penned while the moon called so strongly. But here I was, running for all I was worth down the same clay dirt road to the normal meeting place. I could feel myself changing even as I ran. It was later than last time, much later. I stumbled and fell, landing hard upon the packed and cold ground.
When I stood at last, I wasn't human.
With a howl to answer my packmates, I was off, clawed feet digging into the earth beneath me, the wind whistling past me russet fur. Eyes golden with the wildness of a wolf, I ran through the night, hearing the calls of my pack, yearning to join them. I could feel her, as well, there beside me as we ran. For once, we were equals, sharing the same mind, the same body. While we ran to answer the call of our pack and the full moon, we were one being.
But that could not last. As in all relationships, there had to be only one dominant. No two can remain on equal terms forever. One has to lead, and one must diminish. Though I knew the wolf's instincts, knew at least part of her thinking, I did not know a wolf's body. She did. And so I receded, letting her take the reins as she drove on through the wisps of snow to the place the pack had gathered. They were waiting, and she answered their call.