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After Max frightened me from prank calling, I've basically marinated in my own boredom for two weeks. Since I decided to take a break from my prank calls, Iggy and I have constructed numerous bombs. We could literally build our own army twice the populations of California. Or maybe not. I'd settle for Rhode Island.

In the wake of the moment, I'm sprawled on the couch listening to Iggy speak of things that make me wonder if the gun powder fumes have traveled to his brain. The thought was enough to shift my jealousy as Nudge was watching Full House on ABC Family. Everything from Bob Fagot (don't tell Max where I heard that word) and the cheesy, cheesy theme song is enough to drive one to the depths of insanity and back again. Of all shows, Nudge settles for this. I could be watching Mythbusters. I would rather be watching anything but Full House, matter of fact.

"Up next, The 700 Club." the narrorator announced as Full House went off.

Except this...

Luckily, Nudge picked up the remote.

"Wait, don't change it." I gasped

Iggy snorted," Since when do you watch The 700 Club?"

I ignored the comment, with this idea, I felt I had no time to spare,"Write down that number."

I was giddily cooking up my latest scheme.

Nudge grabbed a pen and jotted it down on the bottom of the coffee table. Nobody will spot it. I've written numerous things under the table.

THen, I fetched the nearest phone and got to business.

"700 Club, how may I help you?" a feminine voice emitted from the reciever.

"Whoa," I mimicked her, "What is this? Walmart? I just need some help?"

"Okay, what is your relationship with God?"

"Does it matter?" I drawled," I need help. It hurts so bad, oooh."

"Yes mam, what is your name?"

"I'm a man! I fought in Vietnam for heaven's sake!"

"Yes, sir," she corrected herself, "What is your name?"

I flashed a glare at Nudge, who, like Iggy, was already cracking a grin. She mouthed the worst, abominal name in the history of the human race.

"... Hermy..."

"Hermy?"

I nearly laughed," Yes, Hermy. H as in hell. E as in egghead. R as in rude. M as in-"

"Is this a prank call?" the woman inquired. I love it when they get that idea. Makes things funnier.

"No! I. Need. Help!"

"What can I help you with?"

" I need you to pray for me."

"Yes?"

"I have explosive diahreah!"

Nudge and Iggy weren't making a sound to my surprise. Was I not funny?

"Um sir, I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure you were just trying to get a laugh out of this." THe woman really sounded irritated.

"No, mam. I'm serious; I need your prayer! I would give anything to be featured on your show." I yapped. It must've been strange to her, as I was imitating her voice.

"Sir-

"I've been watching this show for thirty plus years, and this is how I'm rewarded?"

"I apoligixe sir-" the woman scrambled to make ammends.

"Call me Hermy! I'm beggining to question your motives."

"Yes Hermy, I apoligize you're not satisfied with our service-"

"Oh forget it, you'll just lose another longtime veiwer." I stamped pound with my thumb before she could return a respond.

Unusually, there was no outburst of hoarse laughter. NO giggles, chuckled, not even pats on the back or compliments on how great I am.

But wait...why is Nudge crying. And...does Iggy-

They're laughing so hard it's silent!

Author's note: Sorry that this one isn't as funny. I tried my hardest- this stupid writer's block!

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