A/N: Both Virginity Shuffle (the story of how Rachel lost her virginity to virgin!Puck in the seventh grade [as mentioned in the last chapter]) and the first chapter of Revenge Shuffle are both up!
Rachel woke up when her alarm went off and immediately noticed that Noah was gone. Though her fathers were perfectly okay with her unorthodox relationship, they would not be okay with anyone staying the night on a school night. She bounded out of bed with her usual energy and went about her morning routine. She smiled when she saw that Noah had put away her purchases from the day before and by the time seven thirty rolled around, she was ready to go to school. She was just finishing up her hair when she heard the familiar sound of Noah's truck horn honking.
Grinning, Rachel grabbed her pink trolley bag and headed downstairs. She flung open the door to find Sam with his hand raised to knock.
"SAM," she shrieked, letting go of her bag and jumping on her boyfriend. His strong arms wrapped around, holding her tight.
"Hey, baby, miss me?"
"Yes, you silly boy," she replied, pulling back and kissing him soundly on the lips. "Did you have fun at your family reunion? I'm sorry I didn't text you very much, I thought that you would rather spend the time with your family, since I know you don't get to see some of them very often an-"
Sam cut her off with another kiss. "It's okay, promise." He released her and grabbed her trolley before she could, pulling it outside as he waited for her to lock her door. "Did you have a good time with Santana? That picture was hot." He placed her bag in the back of the truck before helping her into the cab and sliding in next to her.
Rachel kissed Noah before answering. "Good morning, Noah. And, yes, we had a nice, relaxing, slushee-free day, and you know that San is a physical person."
Sam kissed her cheek. "Not complaining." They sat in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, Rachel fiddling with the edge of her skirt until Noah covered her hand with his. "What's wrong?" Sam asked.
"Are you guys sure about this?" she asked, her voice tiny. Noah pulled over and they wrapped their arms around the petite girl.
"Babe, we want this. We're not going to run away the second we get to school or hide our relationship from anyone anymore," Noah told her, pulling her face to him and kissing her softly.
Sam turned her towards him. "We will proudly walk you to your every class, every club meeting for every crazy club that you're in. We want this, Rach. We want you," Sam added before kissing her as well.
Rachel sighed, one arm around each boys' neck. "You're right, of course, I'm just being silly." She grinned up at them cheerfully and kissed them each again. "Let's do this!"
They pulled into the school a few minutes later, people shooting the truck odd looks before it was even parked. Ignoring them, the trio got out of the truck, Sam pulling out Rachel's trolley and setting it down before grabbing his book bag. Noah walked around the truck, snatching the handle of the trolley before Sam could and intertwining his fingers with Rachel's left hand as Sam did the same with her right.
"Ready?" Noah whispered.
Rachel squared her shoulders. "Ready."
Sam just laughed. "Ready."
Noah pulled Rachel's trolley behind him as they walked to the building. They could feel Rachel's hands clenching against theirs, the only tension she allowed to show in her body. She was telling them about some of the outfits Santana found in Fredrick's of Hollywood when they stepped into the school and silence spread. Rachel plowed ahead confidently, ignoring the looks as she continued her story. They stopped at Rachel's locker first, Santana leaning against it casually.
"Hey, bitch," she said as they approached. She moved off the locker so Rachel could get into it. The noise was slowly returning to the hallway.
"Hey, San, I was just telling the guys about that outfit at Fredrick's." She smiled brightly at the Latina, who laughed.
"That explains the looks on their faces! Yeah, I still say you woulda looked totally hot in it." Rachel smirked at her, organizing her books in her locker and chatting with Santana as the guys leaned on the lockers on each side of them. Nearly everyone who walked by stared, hate, curiousity, lust and jealous prevalent in most of their eyes.
"Rachel, how do you respond to the rumors that you've somehow drugged Puck and Sam so that they would date you," Jacob Ben Israel said, his camera focusing on the shorter girl before he realized that both guys were standing right next to her.
Puck growled, "Back off, Jewfro. We're not under any influences, we're with Rachel because we want to be." He flexed his arms, intimidating the annoying reporter. "You or anyone else got a problem like with that, you can talk to me or Sam." He leaned in close. "Leave Rachel alone."
Jacob let out a small whimper and backed up as Sam came up to stand next to Puck, his muscles bulging as well. "Got it?" the blond hissed.
"Uh, yeah, you got it, guys. Uh, I'm gonna just, uh, bye." Jacob took off down the hall, his camera man trailing behind him. Rachel and Santana, having ignored the entire exchange, turned around, Rachel closing her locker just as the first bell rang.
"Bye, see you guys at lunch," Santana said, waving as she walked away.
"Bye, San," Rachel called after her before holding her hands out for her boyfriends. "Ready?" she asked. They each took a hand, Sam grabbing her trolley this time, as they walked her to her first period class. Kissing her cheeks, they left her and continued on to their own class, Science.
"I think that turned out pretty well," Sam said with a smirk.
Noah nodded. "Yup, now, hopefully, that will keep some people out of Rach's hair." He ran a hand through his Mohawk, the only sign of nervousness he had shown all day.
"But what about us?" Sam supplied. Noah nodded and the blond shrugged. "We can tell people or not, I don't care." They settled at their lab table, eyes keen for nosy, eavesdropping people, of which the room was full of.
"I can't fucking wait until lunch," Noah grumbled as the teacher walked in.
888
The morning continued without incident, though all three were bombarded by people asking if they were really dating or not. No one dared approach Rachel when the guys were around (and some even waited until Santana was gone), wary after reading Jacob Ben Israel's latest blog.
"Lunchtime!" Santana sang as she stood next to Rachel, who was busy organizing her locker for the afternoon while waiting for Noah and Sam to arrive.
"Yes, it is, Santana," Rachel replied, smiling up at her best friend.
"You didn't get too harassed last period, did you?"
Rachel shook her head. "No, Jacob stayed far away from me." She glanced around. "Were we supposed to meet the guys in the cafeteria?"
"No, they said they wer-" Santana was interrupted by the appearance of the guys in question, both draping an arm around Rachel's shoulders and kissing her head.
"Time for lunch! Let's go," Noah said, pulling her towards the cafeteria. Rachel stopped and they looked at her.
"What did you do, Noah, Samuel?" she asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, love," they grinned, ushering the girls to the lunch room. Rachel went reluctantly, sure they were hiding something from her, but when nothing happened as they sat with their fellow gleeks, she relaxed and pulled out her lunch.
"So what the hell," Mercedes said, nudging Puck out of the way. "How could you not tell me?"
Rachel laughed. "Well, I wasn't sure what was going to happen for the longest and once it was decided, everyone was pressuring us so much that we chose to wait to tell everyone because, well, you guys were being jerks. It was more of a punishment thing than anything."
"You told Santana," Quinn accused.
"Yes, because she's my best friend," Rachel said and Santana stuck her tongue out at the blonde, who just laughed.
"Puckerman! Evans! My office!" Ms Sylvester yelled before turning and stomping out of the cafeteria. The two boys in question just snickered and kissed Rachel's cheeks before following the tyrannical teacher out. She tried to get up to follow but Mercedes pressed her down, intent on grilling her for every detail.
Meanwhile, her boyfriends sat in Sue's office, along with Jacob Ben Israel and Mr. Shue.
"They did what?" The Spanish teacher asked.
"They hacked my blog and uploaded embarrassing pictures of me. I can't get them off my site either, they locked me out," Jacob told him, glancing nervously at Puck.
"That's bull spit, Mr. Shue, he has no proof!" Noah roared. Jacob flinched.
"Puck," Will sighed, "did you hack his account?"
"Of course not, I'm still on probation!"
"Will, once again, your glee club proves what delinquents they are by committing a third degree felony in school," Sue said in her quiet way.
"Sue, there's no proof that either Puck or Sam hacked Jacob's account," Will told her, tensing.
"They threatened me earlier!" Jacob piped up before withering under Puck and Sam's glares.
"He was harassing our girlfriend," Sam growled.
"'Our girlfriend'? Good lord, Will, now your students are involving themselves in polygamy? What will you teach them next?"
"Can it, Sue," Will said, glaring at the Cheerio coach.
"No, I will not," she hissed, narrowing her eyes.
"Puck, Sam, go back to lunch, we'll talk about this later," Will said, not looking away from Sue. Without a moment of hesitation, they grabbed their bags, leaving Jacob sitting in the middle of the tension. The second before the door closed, they heard the two teachers start screaming at each other.
"We dodged a bullet there, Sundance," Puck said, smirking as they made their way back to the lunch room.
"Yup," Sam grinned at his boyfriend. "But it was true, we didn't hack anything." They spotted the girl at the same time, leaning casually against the lockers near the entrance of the cafeteria.
"Did they find out who did it?" she asked without preamble.
Noah laughed. "Nope, but Jacob tried to pin it on us."
The girl, shorter than Rachel with curly brown hair that fell in her eyes, smirked. "Of course he did. Fortunately for you two, you don't know how to hack into a calculator, much less a blog." She pushed off the locker and approached them, holding out a hand. They each handed her twenty bucks and she mockingly saluted them as she headed in the opposite direction.
"Nice doing business with you, gentleman."
"We would have paid you ten times that," Noah said. She threw a wink over her shoulder.
"I would have done it for free."
"Bye, Jeannie," Sam called. The girl waved as she turned the corner, her rainbow coloured shoes not making a sound in the quiet of the corridor. The guys shrugged, 'cause Jeannie was fucking weird on a good day, and went to save their girlfriend from their fellow gleeks. The rest of lunch passed without incident, even though Rachel threw them suspicious looks when another student darted over, showing them what was done to Jacob's blog before it got taken down.
As they walked her to class after the bell rang, she asked, "So who did you get to do it?"
"Get to do what?" Sam asked, feigning innocence.
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Hack Jacob Ben Israel's account. Someone did it and you two have been looking way too pleased with yourselves since you escorted me to lunch."
"I don't know what you're talking about, babe," Noah added, kissing her cheek as they arrive at her next class. Sam does the same and she glowered at them.
"This isn't over," she threatened. They smirk (now even their smirks look alike!) and head to their next class, leaving a fuming Rachel to sit next to Mercedes in English.
The black diva laughed, "Something already wrong in Paradise?"
Rachel shook her head, unable to answer as the bell rang and the teacher began her lesson. She slipped into attentive student mode, though in the back of her mind, she was still mulling over who could have hacked Jacob's blog. Not that she minded, of course, because the creep was always lurking around her and it really kind of freaked her out, but if Sam and Noah got in trouble because of her, she would never forgive herself. By the time class let out, she had her list narrowed to the Computer Club. There was the possibility of the person being in the A/V Club, but it was unlikely.
As usual, they were waiting for her when class left out and she intertwined their fingers together. "I believe I've narrowed it down to the Computer Club and I'm willing to bet it was a male who did it, so I'm going to keep my eyes peeled," she told them firmly.
Noah and Sam grinned at each other over her head; she was way off track!
"I am still maintaining my innocence," Sam told her, Noah nodding in agreement.
"We'll see," Rachel said, a slight smirk on her face as she scanned the hall. Luckily for them, Jeannie ignored them, just as she always did, so their girlfriend didn't become suspicious of the girl. Sam escorted Rachel into class as Puck kissed her cheek and went to Spanish class. The blond settled next to her and pulled out his History textbook.
Rachel leaned in close. "Sam," she murmured, right in his ear, placing one tiny hand gently on his arm. He could feel his insides practically melting at her sultry tone.
"Yeah, baby?" His voice wasn't supposed crack, was it?
Her hand began moving up and down slowly, her large doe eyes staring at him. "Who hacked Jacob's blog?"
"Uh-" Sam was distracted by her lips and the subtle movement of her chest as she breathed. Suddenly, his phone buzzed in his pocket, bringing him back to reality. He pulled away from her, smirking. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said as the bell rang. As Mr. Whit started class, he carefully pulled out his phone, checking the message.
Dont let her tempt u!
From: Pepperoni
Sam bit back a laugh, thinking of how she had just tried to.
To: Pepperoni
Of course not ;)
"Samuel, pay attention," Rachel hissed, obviously pissed at him.
"Sorry, babe," Sam whispered back, smiling brightly at her before focusing his attention on the lesson. Turns out, the Industrial Revolution? Not as cool as it sounds.
The three of them shared the last class of the day and Rachel was tormented the entire period, since the teacher was absent and the sub was cool, allowing them to have a free day. He wasn't Ms. Holliday, but he was still pretty cool. Finally, finally, school was done for the day. They headed to Rachel's house, since her fathers came home late.
Fucking cock-blocking Hummel was sitting on the porch when they got there. Rachel bounced out of the truck, ignoring her boyfriends groans of annoyance.
"Hello, Kurt," she chirped, hugging him.
"Rachel Berry, I can't believe you," he said, pulling away and staring at her. "How could you not tell me?"
Rachel laughed and moved around him to unlock the door. "Because we weren't telling anyone until we knew for sure."
"You told Santana," Kurt accused, following her into the house, Puck and Sam following close behind with her bag. Rachel headed to the kitchen and set about making them some snack while Kurt grabbed a water bottle for each of them from the fridge.
"Yes, we agreed to tell one person each and since Santana and I have grown closer lately, I confided in her. I do apologize, Kurt; I didn't think you would take it so offensively." Rachel sat the platter of fruit she had cut up at the table where the Warbler was already sitting. The guys went to the living room, grumbling under their breath about nosy people.
"So make it up to me now and tell me everything," Kurt grinned.
Rachel shrugged. "There's not much to tell. I was bouncing between the guys, unable to decide which one I would rather be with, because I care about them both deeply and they're both amazing guys. That's when I decided to just be single. Neither guy liked that very much and so last weekend, they got together and talked it out, apparently over some sort of alcoholic beverage, according to Sam, and decided that they wanted to date each other and me."
"At the same time?" Kurt gasped.
Rachel nodded, a bright smile breaking across her face. "Yeah. They haven't told what exactly happened that night, but they came over the next day and told me their plan. To be fair, we, well I, didn't decide anything until Wednesday, and Santana didn't find out until Wednesday night, so you didn't really miss anything."
Kurt waved her off. "That's beside the fact, Miss Diva. Now, back to the dating situation. Puck and Sam are dating each other?"
She nodded again. "Yes."
"If I didn't have Blaine," he sighed, a slightly glazed look coming to his eyes.
"Kurt, quit daydreaming about my boyfriends," Rachel laughed.
He laughed with her. "No, I don't need to daydream about them; I have my own teenage dream." He added a wink, causing her to laugh harder.
"Where is Blaine?" she asked belatedly.
"He had to study for a test. Now that we're done with competitions for the year, it's nothing but study, study, study all the time." Kurt sighed. "Just one more reason I wish I hadn't had to leave McKinley."
"But if you hadn't, you might have never grown so close to Blaine."
"Hm, true, but I would also be going to Nationals this year." He pretended to think for a moment. "I guess it balances out."
They laughed and talked for several minutes until the guys reappeared at the kitchen door.
"Kurt, you my boy, but you gotta go," Puck said. "We only have so much alone time with our girl."
Kurt sighed and stood up, even as Rachel admonished, "Noah! Kurt is a guest, you can't kick him out."
"No, I need to go anyway, I still have a two hour drive back to Dalton," Kurt said. He passed a critical eye over the two muscled guys in the doorway before smirking.
"Here, I'll walk you out." Rachel followed Kurt out to the porch. "Thanks for coming to visit today."
Kurt laughed. "I had to get the whole story for myself, after all. Now go back in there to your lovely young men," he winked, "I'm sure they're anxious for your return."
Rachel laughed and gave him one last hug before he walked to his car and she reentered the house, only to be caught up in two rough embraces. Noah and Sam each kissed her sweetly before she was swept upstairs.
A/N: Hm, am I evil? Maaaaaybe…
Sorry this took so long, I got into a fight with my Muse and she left (it was my damn sandwich!). Hopefully she'll stick around for awhile (as long as she stays away from my sandwich…). Now, if you have any question you want answered or you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave me a review.
Or don't :) And a special thanks to everyone who took the time to review, I appreciate the feedback!