Disclaimer – I do not own Hunger Games, Catching Fire or Mockingjay or any of the characters SC created therein. Maybe I can keep some of the boys on the squad though.

The Surface

Shine and Mercurius circled, two feral cats. They were each turned, one foot in front of the other, bouncing lightly on the balls of their bare feet. Their eyes were locked onto each other, watching for a lapse, an opening.

We had all been sparring, but had gathered around to watch them as they were the last match still going. Most of us were still beginners in the ancient methods of hand-to-hand combat. However, Shine had been doing this for years in District 1 and Mercurius had picked it up in the Capitol.

I had been in my fair share of fights, and seen even more, especially down in the mines. The feeling of being forced down into that darkness brought out the worst in a lot of us. But this sparring was a completely different thing from those fist-throwing melees. It was more like an art. They used punches, kicks and hand chops, but even more importantly, they knew ways of using an opponent's momentum as a weapon. The first time I sparred with Mercurius I made the mistake of rushing him and found myself flat on my back before I knew what had happened.

These two were evenly matched. Shine was stronger than Mercurius, due to his time grave-digging, but Mercurius could move like lightning. They were both tattooed; Shine had wild designs covering his arms, shoulders and head, in this strange sparkling black paint which shown even through his short, blond hair; Mercurius's back blazed with green wings that spread up onto his arms. The rest of us watched them, trying to memorize their easy style. Mercurius flashed a kick toward Shine's head, but Shine ducked under his leg and flipped him so quickly that I wished I could watch that again in slow motion.

"That's enough for tonight, gentlemen," called Captain Brighton. "Anyone who wants an off-base pass, talk to Hawthorne - last night before a week in the Nut."

As we headed back to the barracks my Communicuff beeped: "Phone Call Report." I'd call my mom back after a shower.

We were finally going to the Nut, although this week we would not get beyond the Surface. The Surface was the level where the train tunnels were, where the main entrances had been. It was the only level that had been largely cleared of rubble, of ordnance, of bodies.

Shine had managed to tag along with Marik when he left GDU. He was actually a good fit for our squad because he had worked on the Surface before. He had been in the rebel platoon that had worked to clear it immediately after the fall of the Nut. When the assault on the Capitol started, they had been called to join it and the clean-up of the Nut was just now getting going again. Shine's experience in those early days was a help to our Squad, gave us some clue what we were getting into.

Our squad was up to full strength now, ten. Besides Urvan Shine and Marik Delmar, the other two who had joined late were Cotton Asher from District 8 and our very own medic, Devon Burdock, from District 10. Of course, we called him "Doc." Doc was not officially a doctor, in fact he was a veterinarian before joining the rebellion. But District 10 was the livestock district and veterinarians were very important. The animals got better care than the people. Doc finally had to go on the run because he was wasting too much time, medicine and care on the humans. We all hoped that he wouldn't have to spend too much time, medicine and care on humans on this assignment, not for his sake but for ours.

Asher had a weird story. He was our rubble expert. After his city in District 8 was bombed into oblivion he and a small group of people managed to hide out and live in one of the bombed out factories. It wouldn't have worked for long, except that most of the Peacekeepers were pulled out because of problems in other districts. They were able to survive on stolen food in areas that no one from the Capitol had time to clear. I wondered if his experience had made any one else think that there might still be people surviving in the Nut.

As we walked back, Marik was humming to himself as usual. "So Captain Brighton's not going. Looks like you will finally be a real Squad Leader."

"Or at least have to fake it," I said.

Redstone joined us. "Count me in for a pass." That made nine requests.

"So, you going?" asked Marik. I sighed. Now that everyone else was going I probably had to.

"I should stay in and go over the training drills. I want to be ready."

"'Let not your mind run on what you lack as much as on what you have already,'" said Marik. He was quiet, but then would come up with things like that.

"Who's that from?"

"Marcus Aurelius," he said.

"I'll have to look him up." I was learning a lot from the books Captain Brighton had given me, but I couldn't keep up with Marik. "Alright, I'll go."

In Captain Brighton's office I reported that I need 10 off-base passes. "Ten? So you're going, too?" the captain said as he handed the passes to me.

"Yes, sir."

"Watch out for the redheads," he said with a smirk. "One more thing I want in your report next week: your recommendation for an Assistant Squad Leader."

"Yes, sir." That was going to be a tough one. There were a number of good candidates on the squad.

"Do you need any more reading material?"

"I'd better take some new stuff with me," I answered. I wasn't much of a student back in the District. School was never very hard. We weren't very interested in learning and they weren't very interested in teaching us. I spent most of my time sketching or daydreaming.

This was totally different. I was amazed at how much I didn't know, about the world before Panem, about civilizations that had come and gone. I had so many half-formed questions. Now I was finding out that others have been wondering the same things for thousands of years. Should the strongest run the show? If not, who should? What about those who need help? What do we owe the people around us? And what difference does it make anyway - how we act? I didn't know what the answers were, but I liked not being alone having questions.

Somehow listening to Mercurius brag about women just didn't compare.

I stopped off at the phone outside the mess hall to call my mom. They were all fine. She mentioned that my training ended in two weeks. She wanted to know if I could come to District 12 for a few days.

I told her I wasn't ready yet.

After a pause she said "You know, they're not here, Katniss and Peeta."

"Where are they?" I asked before I remembered not to care.

"In District 13. Peeta has some health problems and they're seeing doctors there."

That's why she wanted me to come soon. Before they got back.

"I'll think about it, Mom," was the best I could give her.

On the way to Nick's I fell in next to Walker. He was one of the quieter ones, although he seemed to be doing fine with training. He has been a soldier since he was 16, 4 years, plus living in District 13 was a lot like being in the army even before you officially signed papers. Military life was all he knew.

"The Nut should be dull for you, after clearing pods in the Capitol," I said, just to make conversation.

"Dull is good," he said. "I don't want to deal with pods ever again if I can help it."

"I would think they wouldn't be too bad if you had decent updated charts," I said, although in the back of my mind I remember the bizarre gold pod that melted Messalla. How do you clear something like that?

"A lot of them were mislabeled, hard to control or just weird. The worst was the muttation pens. Someone had a seriously sick imagination," he said with a shudder. "Did you see the news?"

On top of everything else, Captain Brighton wanted us all to watch the news or read newspapers. My time being interviewed had made it even harder to trust anything they said on the news, but it was always on in the mess hall and I tried to keep up with it while I ate. Still, I didn't know what Walker was talking about.

"Something about the Capitol?" I asked.

"They just arrested this guy, Dr. Surdeo. He had made up another name and was working as a clerk in a grocery store. But they tracked him down. He's the head scientist who made muttations. I wish we'd left some of them alive so they could throw him into their pen. There's no punishment bad enough for what he deserves." I was surprised by Walker's intensity, but I thought back to Finnick's death and I knew what he meant.

Then I wondered what sort of punishment was bad enough for me - Prim's fireball? Probably.

"Hey Sarge? Joining us?" The others were going into Nick's and I'd kept walking past the door.

I shook my head to clear it and followed them in. We were just sitting down at a big table when I heard a familiar voice call out "Look who's out and about!" It was Johanna and she greeted me with a big hug. She seemed to be alone so I invited her to join our table. What was I thinking?

It wasn't that she didn't get along with everyone. She got along with them all extremely well. She's a Victor so they all knew about her, but as she sat next to me she said "Hi, Mercurius, Shine, Chervil, you brought the whole Squad this time." I remembered hearing them discuss seeing her, but I was a little surprised that she actually knew their names. I introduced the rest of the Squad and they all beamed at her, except for Groves who nodded politely then looked away. He was married. In fact, he had mentioned to me that his wife was expecting. Johanna seemed to make him uncomfortable.

Everyone else was showing off.

"Are you still interested in some decent perfume?" Mercurius asked. "My friend in the Capitol says he can get whatever you want."

Chervil interrupted. "In District 11 they are making their own perfumes now. Subtle, less trashy than the stuff they use in the Capitol."

"No thanks boys. You all must think I smell funny," Johanna said.

Burdock said "You smell fantastic. But I can get the best filets you have ever tasted. Aged and amazing."

"No stove in my barracks," she said, taking a bite of her salad. I had never seen a salad here before. The cook must have made it just for her. I looked over at Marik. He was not saying anything, but I could've sworn he was flexing. I couldn't help laughing.

Johanna looked at me and asked "What's so funny?"

"I could get some really fine coal for you if you want some," I said.

She laughed and I realized that I had not talked to a girl for a long time. In fact, the last girl I had talked to, if you counted a couple of short sentences as talking, was Johanna. I wanted to thank her for visiting me, for helping me out. But this wasn't the place.

After listening to my squad one-up each other for a while, I couldn't take it anymore. "Johanna," I said, leaning close, "Would you like to go somewhere quieter so we can talk?"

"Sure, Sergeant, lead the way," she replied.

I stood up. "Gentlemen, Ms. Mason and I have a lot of catching up to do. I'll see you all tomorrow morning at 0600 sharp. Be ready for a busy week."

As I followed Johanna to the door I heard Mercurius say "We're not the ones who won't be ready for a busy week."

Chervil added "We're not the ones who will be having a busy night."

As we got outside I said "Sorry about my squad. They're not usually idiots."

She took my arm and said "I don't mind. You're the one who is blushing."

Well, now I was. I just rolled my eyes at her.

"Where do you want to go?" she asked.

"I don't know District 2 that well, not off -base. Do you know anyplace?" She led me to a restaurant just down the block: the Green Lion. It was much quieter and darker than Nick's. Of course, Johanna was greeted familiarly at the door.

"You still hungry?" Johanna asked, "Or do you just want to sit at the bar?"

"The bar's fine." I had already eaten, but really I had no idea how a place like this worked. There were menus sitting on the bar. I looked one over and tried to keep shock at the prices from registering on my face. Strangely, squirrel was not on the menu.

"Drinks are on the back."

I took a look, but set it down since I had never heard of most of them.

"I'm glad I ran into you," I said. "I wanted to thank you for coming to see me in the hospital, for helping me out."

"I was on assignment when you left or I would have come to say goodbye. Did they really send you to GDU? Whose wife did you pinch?" she asked.

"No, I requested it," I said.

"Sergeant, you are some twisted branch," she said. That must be a District 7 saying. I kind of liked it.

Her brown hair had grown in longer now and fell in curls around her face. She had on a deep green sweater that plunged in the middle. When she talked to me she leaned forward and I got an eyeful of creamy cleavage. I tried to keep my eyes on her face, but I had the feeling that she knew she was making that difficult. So different from Katniss. She never noticed when men looked at her curves. I always felt like I had to help her out, keep an eye out for her, make sure she didn't get into trouble. Johanna was more likely to go looking for trouble.

The bartender came over. He made very little effort to look at her face. I shot him a glare, telling him to get his eyes back where they belonged. He shifted uncomfortably, and looked at his order pad. Johanna ordered some strange drink I had never heard of. I asked for a beer. He ran through a list. I picked the first one, "Copper Ale." Sounded good enough for me.

"I guess I should be calling you 'Soldier Mason.' You're still in the army?" I asked.

"I am, but don't you dare call me that," she said.

'Then don't call me 'Sergeant,'" I said. Lately no one ever used my first name. It was always 'Sergeant,' 'Sarge,' or 'Hawthorne.' "Are you assigned to a Squad?" I asked her.

"I stayed in because it hacked me off that I couldn't get through the Block. When I finally got released from the nut house, I worked my butt off until they let me try again. Then the sickos didn't even use the water bit the second time. I guess they figured I had more than enough weaknesses for them to work with," she said.

"What was the new one?" I asked her.

"Being distracted by handsome soldiers," she said with a smirk. "What about you? What was your weakness, Gale?"

"Katniss," I said without thinking. I shouldn't have done that. I should have come up with a cute lie like she did.

"So you must be stronger without her then," Johanna said, putting her hand on my arm.

I looked at her gratefully. That was a very kind thing for her to say. Too bad I didn't feel that way.

I tried to change the subject. "So you never said what your assignment is? Are you in a Squad now?"

"Strangely, they've had some trouble finding a squad for me. All squads are either close to evenly split male/female or all male, all female. I won't do the all-female thing. Most women make me want to take an ax to something. But the mixed squads haven't had any openings lately," she explained.

"I never noticed that," I said, remembering that Squad 451 was one of the mixed squads, and it was fairly evenly split. Then I pictured what would happen if they put Johanna in a squad like 425. I could see why a more even mix was needed. She threw dinner into chaos. What would she do to a mission? That might not be because she was female. It might be more because she was Johanna.

"So, tell me about your squad," she said.

We chatted through a couple of drinks, Johanna flirting expertly, me fumbling along. I didn't mention Katniss again but I couldn't keep her out of my head. I had always considered myself to be pretty good with women, other than Katniss. She knew me too well for me to be smooth with her. But before I fell for her I had no trouble talking to girls, flirting with them, kissing them on the slag heap back home. Tonight I was realizing that was another place, another time, another me. Here, I was clueless.

As we walked back to the base Johanna slipped her arm around my waist. I put my arm around her shoulder. The night was cool and she was warm. It felt cozy to hold her like that, but also fake, unearned. I hardly knew her. I had never even gotten her to tell me what her new assignment was. She evaded my questions so gracefully that it wasn't until later that I noticed she'd never answered.

Her quarters were on a different part of the base than our barracks, so we didn't run into anyone from my squad as I walked her home. I did see several heads turn and I knew there would be gossip. Nothing like an army base for gossip. But we ignored them.

Just outside her building she turned to face me and said "Goodnight." As she looked up at me I knew she expected me to kiss her. Why not? So I did. And she kissed me back. For a few minutes I let my mind go blank and just enjoyed her mouth, her warmth, the softness of the back of her neck against my hand. Then my last kiss with Katniss came back to me. I had told her it was like kissing someone drunk, because she didn't know what she was thinking. She was just kissing me to escape her loneliness.

And why was Johanna kissing me? I pulled away and looked at her. "What are you thinking?" I asked.

"I'm thinking you should come inside with me. I have my own private quarters, you know," she answered in a breathy voice as she traced the top of my shirt with one finger.

My first thought was "Of course you do." Johanna seemed to get whatever she wanted. But what I said to her was "I can't. My squad leaves for the Nut early tomorrow morning. I have to be up early to get ready."

"When do you get back?" she asked.

"We'll be back in a week," I answered.

She gave me one more quick kiss, said "Call me then," and disappeared inside.

As I walked back to my own barracks my mind was chaos. Should I have stayed? Any one of the soldiers in my squad, with the possible exception of Groves, would have. Why didn't I? Was it just because I needed to be up early?

I hadn't even meant to go on a date. But I had been thinking I should find a girl, someone to take my mind off of Katniss. So why was I thinking of her more now than I had for weeks? Surely, Johanna should be enough to take anyone's mind off of anything. What was wrong with me?

Had I kissed her just as an escape? Just out of loneliness? When Katniss did that to me, it wasn't good enough. Was it fair then to do that to Johanna? Of course, Johanna didn't want any more than that, did she? Did I?

I realized that I hadn't been worried about contaminating her. Did that mean I was regaining my sanity? Or was I just being selfish?

What would I do when I got back from the Nut?

I had a million questions. No answers at all.

When I reached the barracks I went to my room using the private door, the one that didn't go through the main bunkroom. But someone had opened the other door. I knew I had left it shut. I went to close it and looked into the bunkroom. Everyone was there, sitting around, getting ready for bed.

"Good night, gentlemen," I said. "See you at 0600."

I closed the door, but I could hear through the door, both because the wood wasn't very thick, and because they wanted me to.

Shine called out "Pay up! I told you he would strike out."

"Amazing," said Mercurius's capitol accent. "I thought I knew women better than that. I thought he had it made."

I could hear Marik's deep laugh in the background.

I smiled coldly. At least my botched evening had cost Mercurius money. Of course, he knew women much better than I did. But the idea of turning her down had never occurred to him. Why had it occurred to me?

Four hours later, I tried yet again to think about something, someone, other than Katniss. I cursed her. Hell's teeth. Why couldn't she leave me alone? She was married, happy. Why wouldn't she get out of my head, let me find some happiness, or at least some pleasure? Why did I miss her cluelessness, her naturalness, her complete lack of flirting ability?

Then I thought back to GDU. I had been having trouble sleeping. I kept seeing the dead in my dreams - not the ones we were burying, the ones I had killed. I told Marik one day why I was so tired and he said "Don't fight them. Greet them." It had worked then.

So I tried to think kindly of Katniss. I didn't want her to be unhappy. She didn't mean to torment me. She probably didn't think of me at all. This was not helping. I tried to turn it all around in my head. What if she had been the one who did something evil and Posy had been killed? She must hate me so much.

I was in a fine mood by the time we left for our morning run. Just to cut off any harassment I announced: "Any wisecracks from anyone and the run will be a ten mile." That would keep them quiet.

But the run was great. Everyone griped about our early morning squad run but, at least for me, it was a great way to clear my head. The mornings were getting colder, and the brisk air was better than a cup of coffee. When we finished I told them to clean up, eat, gather their gear and be at the front of the base at 0730. The secured gates to the Nut were just across the square from our base. Normally, we would walk. But with enough equipment for a week's mission I had arranged for a truck to take us over.

The primary goal of our week was to be familiar with the Surface. It was run by a guy who was seriously into following complicated procedures, Colonel Onyx. We had to go over the process for using the elevators, and the lower, older, lifts. There were forms for taking things below, other forms for bringing things up. There was a correct way to handle bodies found below and rules for where and when explosives could be used.

We would also be setting up a base camp on the Surface so we could run our later clearing expeditions out of there. It took forever to get through the security guys outside the Nut. Captain Brighton had told them we were coming. We were listed individually on their checklists. They had each of us show I.D. Then they still went through all of our stuff. I couldn't believe it.

When we finally entered we went through what used to be the train tunnel. The main entrance was buried in a pile of rock. The train depot connected through several openings to the huge central hall. One portion of the hall, just behind the disintegrated remains of the main entrance was cordoned off. The floor had collapsed and there was a gaping pit. There were about a half dozen other squads in the room, most of them well encamped.

Right away I had a bad feeling about the Nut. Years of hunting have taught me to pay attention to my instincts. I tried to pin down what was bothering me about this place. Maybe it was that it was painted the same industrial grey that everything in District 13 was, floor, walls, ceiling. I didn't usually care about paint colors, but that stuff had gotten to me after a while.

Once we were finally inside I checked in with Colonel Onyx. I apologized for being late and told him we had been unprepared for the security delay. He warned me to expect scrutiny at least as tight when it was time to leave.

"You're kidding," I said. "What are they so worried about?"

"This was a fully functional military command post. It hasn't been cleared yet. Just can't let stuff walk out of here, if you know what I mean. Be sure to let your boys know they will be searched."

I didn't like his innuendo. My squad was not here to steal his stuff. I noticed that he acknowledged Redstone with a frown and a nod of his head. What was going on there? He sent an aide to show us where to set up camp. It was in a far corner, near a disintegrated tunnel of some sort.

Asher pulled me aside. "If you want my opinion, as your rubble guy, this is not the best place to camp."

"Why not?" I asked.

"There's some sort of collapsed doorway, just over there. A lot of loose rock, and something made it cave in. If I were picking a site I would want one or two more solid ceiling supports between my camp and that mess."

I sent Shine to bring the aide back. When he returned I asked if we could move our camp over a bit, to an area that suited Asher better. He said "Sure," and we started unpacking.

As I set up our generator I realized what was getting to me. The place felt like a coal mine. The smell, the close air, the trapped feeling, it brought me back to working in the mines. A wave of hatred hit me.

Once again I felt fury at Thread, at Snow, at the faceless Capitol that could steal our entire lives away, forcing us to go down into the black. We would work until our lungs gave out, our backs were broken, or until they decided to kill us. I shook my head. This was not District 12. I was not a miner anymore. But when we went down into the depths of the Nut I was going to have to face the darkness again.

IrishLuck19 – Thanks again for your great insight and brutal insistence that I keep my tenses straight!

Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers – Waiting to see what you think of each chapter is half the fun! If you are reading and not reviewing, try dropping me a line!

Wisdomgoddess26 – now a night owl, not an early riser – when do you sleep?

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