Screams.

Endless screams.

I cover my ears, shielding out the incesent cries.

"oh my god jake you really didn't have to do this" she pressed as she held the turquoinse dress up against her body, twirling around with it like a little girl.

He obviously had to do that. I havent seen carol this jolly since last chrismas when she saw a pair of black pumps 75% off and simply had to buy them. Ladies and their shoes. I don't get it.

Ignoring the girly squeeking I looked down at my own shoes. Worn out black converse fit around my feet. The laces are white, well they used to be white, now the actual color is more of a dingy gray. The tops of my shoes are scuffed, compared to my aunts chucks, unscuffed, unsmudged, perfect chucks, mine looked as if they had gotten in a bar fight.

"Hannah!" my aunt shrieked. I look up at her, my eyes glazed over and uninterested. She puts her hands on her hips, a very "Carol" stance and pokes that bottom lip out. Congrats aunt carol you are now a full blown five year old, complete with the dress spinning and pouting, im actually unsure if we will be having steak or chicken nuggets for dinner.

And in true toddler style she says" don't you like it?". another thing about most women I don't like. they ask you a question, a question meant to rely on an opinon but in truth being a question that requires a right or wrong answer. Yes being the right answer in her case. Me, im not like that. I have mastered the art of NOT being subtle, if I don't like something im gonna voice it.

No I don't like that dress

Yes jake is the mayor of kiss ass town

And yes that dress does make your ass look big.

Short. Simple. And sweet (not so much sweet in most cases but eh). that's my motto.

Looking back at carol I decide she values my opinion more than she would tell. It could be her pleading brown eyes looking back at mine, begging me to side with her just this once. It could be the way her lips are turned, settled in a frown, a very UN-carol like expression. But its most likely the way she stands, arms crossed, hip everted, a stance that says "im independent and don't care what you say" but secretly whispers "if I stand tough and make her THINK I don't care maybe she'll be nice". I half way consider being this quote un quote "nice" Hannah she seems to think exists. It would simply break her bedazzled heart to learn that Hannah doesn't.

"well.." I start weighing the possible answers. On one hand I could say yes, then carol would go to bed with a pretty pink smile on her face. On the other hand I could be honest and say no. eliminating any possible chance of her buying me the same dress for my next birthday (all of which she has done before).

But as Aunt Carol always says, honesty is the best answer.

"honestly..no" her face falls even more. I decide to throw her a line "but but just cause I don't like it doesn't mean rick wont" I remind her, raising an eyebrow suggestively. "I mean what guy wouldn't it totally makes your butt look awesome" I smile totally kissing ass. In truth the dress makes her ass look like a macy's thanksgiving day parade balloon, but I decide to be nice and atleast give her that compliment.

My plan works.

"really?" she gleams, turning around and looking back at the glutinous maximus in question. I nod, not trusting my voice to not have an edge of sarcasm.

"thanks hans and here I thought you would be rude" my eyes narrow slightly. Rude would be telling her that if she wears that dress one of two things will happen. She will be suspected as a mermaid come to shore, or a group of teenagers will steal her and use her as a disco ball at their next rave. Both senerios, not bringing dr. rick any closer to her panties.

"any time" I smile fakely, giving her a half hug and quickly retreating two the safety of my room.

Shutting my door tightly behind me I plop down onto my bed, splaying my entire body over the the bed. Just then my cell phone vibrates, the black razor bouncing across the dresser with each BRMMMM.

I reach out lazily to grab my phone, struggling at first then finally clutching it in my hands. The words "mona lisa" are written in bright white letters across the small screen on the front of the cellphone. Groaning I flip the phone open.

"whataya want?"

"gee thanks for that greeting im fine and how are you butthead" mona snaps.

I chuckle. "my bad mona lisa I just got done dealing with princess sparkle of delusia"

this gets a laugh,"oh really, what did she want you to do scrub the floors or go shopping"

i plop down onto my bed kicking off my shoes with my feet and stretching out. i weight my options then reply, "honestly neither but at this point id rather have scrubed the floors then listen to 'oh its so pretty' and 'oh hanz you need to get this' or my personal favorite 'if i didnt have this i might just die' " i say mocking carols go getter tone. "next time im sueing for auditory disturbance" i add as i look on the floor for my dc's only finding one, i pick it up and stick my foot into it as my eyes scann over the floor for the mate.

"that bad? damn well this news isnt gonna help, ya know how heather was talking about craig yesterday?" she asks lightly im barley able to hear her.

"Ya" im mumble bending over the side of my bed, my hair hanging down onto the floor as i peer under my bed the phone nudged between my shoulder and my ear.

"and.. today heather was filling me in on her date she said they went to the shore and the movies and then they-thats not the point but hanz.." shes sighs obviously not wanting to say more but knowing she has too.

"what is it mona?" i attempting to hide the concern in my voice as my nimble fingers reach under the bed towards the single plaid pink and blue dc.

"well when they were on there date..heather said she saw Kaleb there.." theres a long pause, right before " with chasity hartford" i could practically hear the wince in her voice.

i quickly wipe my head back up sitting on the bed once more, after the initial light headedness of both the move and the news i speak faintly," oh..um..what.." i pause trying to steady my heart " what were they doing?" i ask not able to resist my ignorant curiousity.

"well..she said they were on the pier eating burgers and then when craig asked kaleb if he wanted to come to the movies with him and heather Kaleb said he wasnt gonna ditch his date for a sticky dark movie theater.." she sighs knowing what the news would ignite in me. "im sorry hanz..i knew how much you liked him..i always had a feeling he was a dog like that..shifty eyes.." i could practically hear her shaking her head in discust " never a good sign."

a deep breath passes my lips in a sigh, i blink the blink again, then blink one more time before finally sighing again and giving up, "its alright mona lisa..but hey thanks for telling me it would have been humiliating to go to school after that"

or ever, i add mentally

" yeah i just knew you should know but hey ill call you back i told tanner id call him after i was done talking to you, i hope you dont mind?" she asks unsure of how i would respond

"n-no" i stutter instantly feeling guilty "its cool mona go talk to tanner banner i was just about to go.." i trail off looking around my room trying to pick my brain for a lie. as i glaze over my jason mraz poster, the setting on the beach i find just the lie to sadate her." the beach!" i say alittle to enthusiastically.

"mhm.." she responds only half buying it. its time to amp it up.

" yeah im going to the beach ya know to get away from malibu barbie and ken " i reasure her adding a fake little laugh at the end.

this seems to help but im not free just yet," well do you want us to come by? we could all hang together so you dont have to be alone" she suggests kindly

alone. thats exactly what i will be from now on. why not get a heads start.

"no its fine mona have fun with tannernator i kinda wanted to be alone to think and do..homework and stuff" i laugh mentally.

i never do homework

"okay" she finally says, " but if you change your mind me and nanner are gonna be at my place"

i decide not to insult the cute little pet name and instead say " duelly noted dont worry if i get the least bit bored ill be there just to be a perpetual cock block for tanner" i tease

she laughs as i hear a door open in the background and a deep voice"hey baby" it says as a series of kissy sounds follow. instead of sticking around for the rated R material that was gonna go down i hung up before i was completely scared for life.

jumping up swiftly from my bed i head to the one place i know Kaleb would never go, nor anyone from school.

Bolting down the stairs and grabbing my blue hoodie off the coat rack i swing open the screen door and walk down side walk toward my one place of solitude and recelection.

Karz.