Kennedy's POV:

Hearing about the loss of Angel and his group hit us all pretty hard. It's hard when we lose our own people, especially such a strong ally who has been around for hundreds of years. You almost expect him to always be there and I know Buffy is having a hard time dealing. But Buffy also has a lot of people around who love her and are helping her deal and move on. I am more worried about Faith. She and Buffy had a heated fight and it turned physical. Apparently Faith was supposed to be there with Angel but he sent her on a what she thought was a mission before the fight but was really just Angel sending her away to try and spare her. He knew that this was the end for him and he didn't want that for Faith. He thought she still had so much to offer the world. I think Faith just saw it as a betrayal.

The night after we had the burial for the LA crew I took charge of patrol so Buffy could have some time to deal and I saw Faith at the cemetery. She was just standing over Angels grave staring at his headstone. She looked completely devastated and lost and so unbelievably young. Everyone always describes Faith as the wild child, the rogue. A party girl who likes to flaunt and thinks herself completely badass. Who doesn't care about anyone else but herself. The "get some, get gone girl". I don't see that. I wasn't there in Sunnydale when Faith first showed up but I have heard the stories. I also have heard the stories from my watcher who just happened to be good friends with Faiths watcher. I was always curious about who the current slayers were and my watcher would tell me their exploits fighting against evil. I remember the stories about Buffy and how she was different because she wasn't trained like a normal slayer. She refused to follow the rules that a slayer was supposed to live by. She had a life and friends and family that loved her and supported her in the role of slayer. My watcher always encouraged me in my studies and training but she also encouraged me to have a life. She taught me that a slayer can be so much more then a tool against evil.

Faith on the other hand wanted nothing more then to be a slayer and make a difference. Slaying was her life and she trained and studied to be the best there ever was. Her watcher Diane would tell my watcher Caroline that she is so willing to go out and fight. That Faith was just so happy to have a destiny. That she was CHOSEN and she could finally prove to the world that she was not a mistake. I remember being intrigued by the differences between Buffy and Faith. How Buffy never wanted to be a slayer and fought against it and resented being called for the longest time and how Faith embraced it. I would sometimes read my watchers letters from Diane about Faith and how she struggled to prove her worth. She wanted to make Diane proud. Diane would write that she was worried about Faith. That she had a past of abuse and heartache that she wasn't so much trying to overcome but ignore. She had terrible nightmares but refused to deal with her past and Diane was starting to worry. She new Faith couldn't run forever. But Faith said it didn't matter because she was a slayer and didn't have forever. If she was lucky she had a couple of years and she didn't want to waste them on the past when she had so much in front of her now.

It's sad really when you think about it. I know when she first came to Sunnydale Faith was only fifteen. That's two and three years younger then everyone else. I also know that Willow was jealous of Faith and the slayer connection she shared with Buffy. She thought that she would loose Buffy as her best friend and would often exclude her from scooby activities and bad mouth her to Buffy. Buffy at first resented Faith and saw her as competition . Xander let his hormones rule him and Giles was just indifferent to her. She was a child who the world had already repeatedly turned their back on and when it happened again she didn't know how to deal. She fought to survive anyway she could. The way she was taught by life.

The night following the one I saw Faith in the cemetery found me running into her again on my way home from patrol. This time she was behind a bar in an alley throwing up and crying and completely wasted. I tried to help her inside but she shrugged me away. I couldn't just leave her out there alone at night, not in her condition. So I leaned against the wall to wait with her till she was ready to go home. We sat out there for almost an hour in silence before she just started talking. "How could he just send me away and think that I would be okay with that? He was the only one I still had who believed in me.

I am so angry with him! God Angel what were you thinking? I should have known something was up. Buffy is right it really is my fault and I should have been there. Maybe I could have made a difference. If nothing else I could have died by his side fighting the good fight". She growled and punched the ground, splitting her knuckles open in the process.

"You know you can never fight your true destiny" she said. "Buffy was destined to be one of the greatest slayers of all time and me...I was destined to be a nobody...a mistake". She didn't sound resentful or sad. There was a deadness to her voice and when I looked at her, in her eyes as well. "How come it is only the monsters who really see me? Who think I am worth something? Angel (a vampire)...the Mayor...I miss him too you know. I know I'm not supposed to but he was the first person other then my watcher to ever really care about me. I loved him. But it wasn't enough...I wasn't enough. I failed him just like I failed my watcher and Angel". I just stood there stunned. I didn't know what to say as I watched her get up and walk away.

I didn't see her again until two days later at the scooby meeting to discuss our plans for the future. She sat away from everyone else, close to the exit. I saw Giles repeatedly glance in her direction with looks of pity but other then that I couldn't help but notice that she was was never acknowledged or included in any of the plans. I went to talk to her after the meeting but she must have walked out right before it ended. I found her in her room after she just finished packing her bag. She was heading out. I was upset and told her she couldn't just leave without telling anyone. She said the scoobies knew. That Willow had come to her yesterday and thanked her for her help with the first and everything she has done to help the new slayers this past year but that they think she should leave for a while. Buffy is hurting and can't deal with her and their issues on top of running the slayers council and dealing with the loss of Angel. It's all just too raw right now and Buffy is having a hard time excepting the fact that it's not Faith fault that Angel is dead. They think it would be better for everyone if " she did the traveling slayer thing. Taking out baddies throughout the states. While they continue to run the slayer council. And if they need her help they will find her". I was livid. How could they do this to her after everything. I knew the loss of Angel hit her hard. That if she left that would be it for her. That she had no were else to go and no one else to run to. She told me not to worry about it and that they were right. Someone needs to be out there fighting. This is what she was made for and this is what she will die doing. I gave her my number and told her to call me if she ever needed help. She smirked and said "thanks I will" but we both new she never would. Buffy and the gang were doing it again. They were treating her as nothing but a tool to be used and then discarded. And the worst part about it all is Faith doesn't think there is anything wrong with it. She no longer expects anything else from them. Doesn't think she deserves anything else from anyone.

As I watch her walk away I am overwhelmed by the unfairness of it all. Knowing that we will more then likely never see her again. That for the rest her of life (which probably won't be that long) she will be alone. All her life she has fought against the people who hurt her, who put her down and tried to destroy her. Through the neglect, the abuse and the death she fought. She never backed down or let it beat her. It's ironic that it was the "good guys...the heroes" that finally killed her hope, killed her will.

Author's note: That is it for this fic (my first). Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Feedback is always welcome!