Still don't own the Hunger Games, etc.

Thrown

It took a minute for her words to sink in.

"You didn't make Peeta wait," I blurted.

Katniss turned away and folded her arms. "We're not going to discuss how long Peeta and I did or didn't wait," she said, clipping each word.

I wasn't handling this well. A million thoughts flashed through my brain, most of them vicious. Annie had told me to take things slow with Katniss. I hadn't done that. I had resolved not to slight Peeta. I hadn't pulled that off either.

I gripped my hands behind my neck and turned my face up to the sky. It was taking an amazing amount of effort to sit here on the ground near Katniss. I needed to take a walk, a run, something. But now was not the time for it.

I had thought, with all of that talk about what kisses can mean, that Katniss's kisses tonight were sending me a very clear message. She'd never kissed me like that before. I had been hoping to take a blanket down to a little cove down the beach, where we could be alone, and there under the stars . . . . I needed to shut those thoughts off or I would never be able to have this conversation.

So I tried again. I kept my hands locked behind my neck as I looked at the back of Katniss's head. I narrowed all my thoughts down to one word: "Why?" I hated that I sounded like a five year old.

"Don't be mad," she said. She turned back toward me and took my hands. "Just listen. I'll try to explain."

I closed my eyes. "Okay." I still couldn't trust myself with more than one word at a time.

"We have a chance to do things right. Everything with Peeta was such a mess. We were forced into so many things: lying to each other, lying to the world. I didn't know what was me, what I felt and what was an act to stay alive." She stopped. I could almost see the memories flashing across her face as she winced: the interviews, the Arena, the Victory Tour.

"Okay, so we don't have to lie. But what is the connection?" I had no idea where she was going with this, but so far I couldn't argue with her.

"Just wait. Annie has told me a lot about her time with Finnick. Did you know that they waited until they were married?"

I laughed before I could stop myself. "Finnick? It's not like he waited." Maybe that was harsh to point out, but it was true.

"I know. And . . . things had happened to Annie, too." I didn't want to think about what she meant by that. I was afraid that I knew. "That's why they waited. They wanted it to be different when they were together: special, right . . . sacred." She whispered the last word.

"This is some pretty deep water you are getting into," I said, but she ignored me.

"That's what I want. Peeta and I . . . we were sloppy. We never had a proper wedding. Nothing was the way it should be. He knew it was important; I didn't think so then, but now . . . I wish that I'd done things differently."

I didn't know what to say to that. I couldn't give her my opinion on whether she and Peeta should have gotten married or not. It was a bit late to worry about that.

But in the silence I knew she was waiting for a response. I took a deep breath."I only know about a half dozen people who even care about waiting until marriage. You would have to be one of them."

Katniss gave me a curious look. "Besides Annie and Finnick – who else?"

"Captain Brighton and his wife. He gave me a bit of a lecture before I came here." Actually, I had barely listened since I thought the chances that she would let me touch her were pretty low. "One of the guys in my squad, Redstone. He said a couple of things to me when the others were discussing women. That took a lot of guts. And . . ." The last ones were painful to think about.

"Who?" she pressed.

"My parents."

Katniss let out a surprised laugh. "How do you even know about that?" she asked. She was right. It wasn't like my dad had been around to talk to me about this stuff.

"Because of my birthday," I answered as I pulled my hands away from her. I found a small branch on the ground and scratched in the sooty dirt with it. There were a lot of things we stopped discussing when dad died. "I was born exactly nine months after they got married. It used to be a big family joke." I felt my chest cramp, just thinking about my birthday, long ago, when I was a kid, before . . . .

Katniss moved to my side and put her arms around me. "I'm sorry," she said. She waited with me while I pulled myself back together.

After a while she asked "So what do you say?"

"I think being a thousand miles away from you will help. I don't know . . . Wait. No. This is important to you, so okay." I leaned my forehead against hers. I tried to sort through the implications. If she was saying she wanted to wait until she was married, did that mean that she was considering . . . .

"I know this will be hard for you," she said. "It's hard for me." That was nice to know.

"Let's get married tomorrow," I said, only partly joking.

"No, wait. I didn't mean . . . . I'm a widow. Look, I . . . ."

So once again she didn't know what she wanted and I was left hanging. I pushed her away and walked into the darkness away from the fire. I needed to learn not to get my hopes up. Or maybe I needed to just get away from her. I paced through the weeds. What an idiot I was thinking that this time would be different.

I felt Katniss standing behind me and froze.

She put her hand on my arm. "Gale?"

I turned on her. "I'm not signing up for another couple years as your disposable best friend."

I was glad to see the shock in her eyes. Had she even thought about what she had put me through?

"That's not what I meant," she said in a small voice then went back and sat down near the fire, her face hidden in her hands.

I suddenly remembered that we needed to turn the wood. I went over and flipped over the long spit, then turned the smaller pieces. I stood and watched the dying fire, bright flames dancing over the charred wood. I fought the urge to just give it up and go back to the boys' house.

"So what do you want from me?" I clenched my eyes, hating the bitter edge in my voice.

She pressed one side of her face against her own clenched hands. "I don't know. I just thought we might try . . . . I don't know."

"That's the problem. You never know what you want from me."

"I know," she said, still not looking at me. "I'm sorry."

I sighed. I shouldn't have pushed her like that. She had been through so much. It wasn't her fault that I only had a few days to be here. I took a deep breath and sat back down next to her. When I put my arm around her she hid her face in my chest and I kissed her temple. "No, I'm sorry. There's no rush. If you want to try . . . being together and see what happens that is fine with me."

We sat and watched the fire. The last of the larger logs was a glowing coal with golden flames lapping up its sides. There was something mesmerizing about the fire. Or maybe my brain just needed a break.

I felt Katniss stir. She looked up into my face and said "You're not disposable. You know I'd never think that." She reached up and pulled me down to her, into a gentle kiss. I felt like we were reconnecting after being very far away from each other. It was amazing how all tension slid away as my world focused down to one pair of sweet lips. Katniss must have felt it too. I could feel her softening in my arms.

I finally broke away. "So what are the rules then? Apparently kissing is allowed."

"Yes, within reason. I need your kisses, but no lying down and . . . um . . . all hands on deck." She leaned back into my arm.

"Come on," I said, standing up. "I think the smaller pieces of wood are done now." We pulled them out, then decided to put the fire out and bury the last part of the spit in the leftover coals. We walked, hand in hand, down to the beach to fill up some buckets with water. The wood hissed and steamed when we dumped the water on it.

"I'll walk you home," I said to Katniss, and we turned and went up Annie's back steps. I stopped outside the back door. If we were going to behave, it would be better if I didn't even go in. I gave her one last kiss. She said good night over her shoulder as she slipped into the house.

During the walk back to the boys' house I realized that I was so tired I was about to fall asleep on my feet. I felt drained. What an amazing day. Even with the fight it had been easily one of the best days of my life. I just needed to rein myself in and be patient with Katniss. That was turning out to be easier said than done.

I woke around dawn and headed down to the beach. I resolved to make this my longest run yet. Half of the sky was clear this morning, but to the north there were dark clouds building. I ended my run by heading back toward Annie's. I was surprised to see, once again, Katniss sitting up on the rock.

"Hey," I said as I reached her. "You're up early."

She rolled her eyes at me. "I'm starting to like sunrises."

I climbed up on the rock next to her and we watched the sky change from grey to a spectacular orange.

"We need to go back into the forest this morning," Katniss said. "I didn't get all of the herbs on my list. Do you know when the boys are going into town?"

"After breakfast." If she wanted to start afresh and forget last night's quarreling that was fine with me.

I hurried back and showered and we went into the woods before breakfast. Just like old times. I brought an orange I had snagged from the boys and she brought some bread.

"So what do we need to find?" I asked.

"The alyssum still, bloodroot, lemon thyme, betony, . . . ." She paused. A shadow crossed her face. I gave her a questioning look and she held the list out so that I could see it: "Rue."

I put my arm around her. "Come on. We can do this."

We managed to find everything except the alyssum. Katniss bagged a couple more rabbits, too, and I got one out of a snare. When we got back to Annie's Davy and Jonah were there and Annie was just putting a huge plate of pancakes on the table. Perfect timing.

We spent breakfast making lists, lots of lists: a list of things we were going to eat at the party; a list of people who were invited; a list of things we needed from the market. I was starting to realize that this little shindig was going to be expensive, but no one else seemed to mind. I had my own list in my head – a few things I needed to pick up in town. I was glad I had brought some money.

When Annie said she didn't want to go into town, Katniss pulled me aside.

"Would you mind if I stayed home with Annie?" she asked.

"No," I said. "I think I can handle the trading." I didn't tell her that I was glad she wasn't going. It would make it easier for me to get everything I needed. "Just go over the herbs with me – show me what is what, tell me how much each one is worth."

As we set off down the road Davy said to Jonah "There are a couple more names we need to add to that party list, aren't there?" I could tell he was teasing him. Jonah acted like he was studying the list intently, but his face colored.

I looked at Davy with raised eyebrows. He grinned wickedly. "Jonah's got a thing for this pretty blonde bee-keeper. He's just figured out how sweet honey is." Somehow his tone of voice made what could have been an innocent statement into something crude.

"So invite her," I said. "We're going to have plenty of food."

"I don't really know her at all. Davy, you've traded with her more. You should invite them, her and her dad." Of the two brothers, Jonah was definitely the shier. But he was also a nicer guy.

"No, you should do it," I said. "The worst she can say is 'no.'"

He looked at me. "She'd come if you asked her. You're famous and all," he mumbled with a strange mix of resentment and hope.

"No way," I said. "You want her there because you asked her. Just do it. Don't think about it too much. Besides, I have to go to the apothecary, and to do some other stuff. What if I meet back up with you after a while?"

I'd noticed how big the market was when I first got to town – more than enough to get lost in. We agreed to meet back at the giant clock tower in a couple of hours and they pointed the apothecary's shop out to me. I would just have to find the other things I needed on my own.

Mrs. Spicer was a nice lady. I told her I had brought some herbs from Katniss. She didn't act like she knew me or anything. That always felt much more normal. We negotiated a bit, although she didn't drive a very hard bargain. Or else she thought the prices Katniss had recommended to me were fair. She did seem disappointed that we hadn't found the alyssum. The others had told me to make sure to invite her and her husband to the party so I did.

As I was turning to leave the store I thought of something. "Do you know if there is a shop that sells hardware? Things you might buy to fix a boat or something?" If she could send me the right direction it would save a lot of time.

She nodded and sketched an imaginary map for me on the counter. It was called McBride & Sons and it was down by the pier. I was going to have to hurry to get down there and back in time.

As I started to go she said "Wait," and grabbed my hand to stop me. "It's best if you go around this way. The docks are here and that is . . . not such a good place to cut through, especially if you aren't from around here."

"Not very friendly?"

"Not the best part of District 4."

I went the long way. I doubted that there would really be any trouble in the docks, but I didn't have any time to waste. Except that the long way proved to be a lot longer than she had made it look in the phantom map. So I was wasting time anyway.

Once I got to the pier, the place was easy to find. I didn't have time to look around. I went to the counter and asked the man if they sold gold or silver wire. He was a man of few words. He nodded and pulled out a rod with dozens of spools of different types of wire. I found what I wanted, although the gold wire was nearly gone. He sold me the rest of that spool and a length of silver wire. They were expensive, but I had known that they would be.

As I was finishing up I saw a beautiful hunting knife under the counter. It was a little smaller than mine and it had a mother of pearl handle. McBride brought it out and I could tell by the way he handled it that he thought it was special. He handed it to me and I tested the blade – razor sharp. So I bought it for Katniss. It wasn't a very romantic gift, but she had borrowed my knife several times lately. I couldn't give her mine; I needed it too much. But I would feel better if she had her own when she went into the woods alone. A bow and arrow couldn't work for everything.

It felt strangely good to spend that much money. I had been making better money in the army than I did in the mines and spending hardly any of it. I sent half my paychecks to my mom to help her out with the kids, and I had tried before to help Annie out, to cover some of the cost of having Katniss live with her, but she wouldn't hear of it. It was nice to be able to put some of my money to good use.

I checked the clock before I left the shop. My long walk down to the pier was going to make me late, especially if I repeated it on the way back. I decided to risk the docks.

I felt the change of atmosphere as I neared the docks - no women or children around, a lingering stench of fish and filth. I caught the wary eyes that watched me, noticing a stranger, sizing me up. Let them. Although the sensation of being watched was always unnerving. Just like with the boar in the forest; some of these guys were even uglier than he was.

I heard footsteps behind me and turned my head slightly to listen: there were two men whose pace quickened when I did. I looked back to glare at them, hoping that they would take a hike when they knew I was onto them. No such luck.

The street toward the market was just ahead. When I turned the corner, we'd be out of sight of the docks. That was probably a good thing. These two were locals and more likely to have allies among the other workers than I was. It would be two on one, but I'd faced much worse odds than that. As soon as I rounded the corner I flipped around, ready to face them. At least I would start this on my own terms.

As soon as they came around, hurrying, thinking that maybe I was trying to run away, the first guy saw me and went into a crouch, a knife in his left hand. He was burly, built like a fisherman, with a huge scar marring his upper lip. The second guy instinctively took a step back. If I could deal with Knife Guy convincingly enough his buddy would take off on his own.

I focused on Knife Guy. He held his knife like he knew how to use it, but the rest of him seemed off balance. Maybe he wasn't used to dealing with prey that fought back instead of running.

"You're not from around here." He marked my steps. I just went back and forth, wanting to keep the high ground. "Round here you have to pay a tax to walk on the docks."

He seemed to think he was being witty. I didn't reply.

"You can pay the tax in money or blood. Your choice."

"Nope." I didn't see any point in chatting with the guy.

One thing that Mercurius had shown us was that you should watch your opponent's hips. A good fighter would feint, with their head, eyes, arms, shoulders. But when they moved, their hips would show where they were going. So I kept moving back and forth, eyes on his hips, waiting for him to move. I could tell that he wasn't a trained fighter.

"I'm giving you one chance to back off," I said. "This is not going to be a fair fight."

He just laughed. Which I expected. It was probably just as well, because even if he backed off I would have to watch my back for a long time. If he knew how to throw that knife I would be in trouble.

His move came quickly. He lunged with his knife hand, going straight for my gut. He expected me to try to block him, not to use his own momentum against him. I grabbed his wrist, turned my back toward him, pulled him forward by his wrist and flipped him over me. He landed with a heavy thud. In practice, we were always careful to let go of the wrist once the flip started. But I needed to disable this guy, so I held onto his wrist and heard a crunch in his shoulder as he fell.

The air was knocked out of him. I slipped the knife out of his hand and turned to check on his friend. As I had suspected, he was already taking off.

"No tax today," I said and I chucked his knife across the street, off the dock, and into the water. I picked up the bag I had dropped and headed back for the market before he could get back up. I looked back once and saw him sitting on the ground cradling his arm.

My heart was pounding and once I was in the market I leaned up against a wall to pull myself back together. The worst thing was that part of me had enjoyed the fight. Back in the mines, fights were never something I had time to think about. When they happened I just acted out of blind rage. I tried not to get into too many fights since my family couldn't afford to have me miss work. In GDU I hadn't fought unless I had to, but that was also before I had learned much technique. In the gym we sparred all the time and it was a good way to work off excess energy. And this fight hadn't been nearly as tough as sparring with someone who knew what they were doing.

I got to the clock before Jonah and Davy did. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to tell them about the incident down by the docks. As soon as I saw them approaching through the crowd I could tell that Jonah's girl must have said "yes." He had a giant smile on his face.

But Davy was looking at me warily. "Did you go down by the docks?" he asked. I didn't think it had been that obvious.

"Yeah, I went to McBride's."

"Any trouble?"

"On my way back I think I broke some guy's shoulder."

"You serious?"

I nodded.

"What'd he look like?"

"Burly guy, big scar on his lip."

"That's Slash. You broke his shoulder?"

"I heard it crunch."

He grinned. "He's going to have a hard time living that down." By that time we had gotten back to their truck.

"Hey, we got you something," Davy said as he thrust a paper into my hand. "Looks like you made the news again."

I glanced at it. "Mason and Hawthorne – Together Again?" The photo was Johanna, alone, looking over her shoulder. I sighed and stuffed the paper under my arm.

Being happy must make Jonah talkative. All the way home he chattered about what we needed to do to get ready for the party. I hadn't heard him say that many words the whole time I had been in town. After a while I tuned him out and took another look at the paper. How did they cook up a romance from a picture of Johanna by herself?

The caption under the picture read: "Johanna Mason caught sneaking into Gale Hawthorne's room." So that's how. Then I checked the picture. I looked closer. That did look like my door, in fact, the right side of my door frame was dented. That was it. It was also definitely Johanna, recognizable even though she had on some sort of ugly black cap. She had been caught looking over her shoulder, a clear picture. There must have been a camera there in the hall. I'd have to keep that in mind. She wasn't wearing her fatigues, but all black. She looked sneaky. Of course, she must have been meeting someone – in my room. I knew I'd left the door locked, but I was sure it wouldn't be that hard to pick. Who was she meeting?

I glanced over the rest of the front page. "Body Found in Presidential Mansion: President's Aide Dead of Overdose." Every cover was the same – a little romance, a little death. I sighed and tucked the paper back under my arm. Listening to Jonah prattle was better than reading that trash.

When we walked into Annie's great smells assaulted us. The girls had been cooking all morning long. As I peeked into the kitchen I saw Katniss looking like quite the chef. She had on an apron and flour all over. It was even in her hair. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her.

She turned and beamed at me. "Guess what? I made lunch. Annie taught me how to make fried clam sandwiches. They are almost ready." They had made tons of bread and Katniss was fishing fried clams out of a huge pot of hot grease, then draining them on some towels.

I grabbed one of the finished ones and popped it my mouth. "Ow! Hot." I sucked in some air over it trying to cool it off so I could finish it.

Katniss stepped between me and the cooked clams. "Go away. These aren't cooled yet." I'd never seen her cook in a real kitchen before, although she knew how to roast a rabbit over a fire. I guess a real stove wouldn't be too hard after that.

I went and washed my hands then grabbed a glass of lemonade.

"Lunch is ready!" Annie called.

We took some lemonade and sandwiches out and sat on the back stairs to eat. I looked at her between bites and said "This is amazingly good."

Katniss beamed. "Annie's a brilliant teacher. I didn't think I could pull something like this off. How was town?"

"Interesting," I said.

I heard the phone ring inside.

"I took a shortcut down by the docks . . ."

"Why were you down there?" she asked and I realized that I didn't want to tell her why I'd been at McBride's.

"Gale," said Annie from the door. "The phone's for you."

That was strange. Maybe it was Doc with more tips on how to roast our boar.

I went inside and took the phone from Annie. "Hello?"

"Sergeant Hawthorne. This is Captain Brighton. Is your trip going well?"

"Yes, sir," I said, standing up a little straighter.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he replied.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"No, I am glad things are going well, but it makes what I need to tell you more difficult. A special mission of the highest importance has come up for your squad and I need you back here as soon as possible."

"How soon?"

"There's a train that leaves District 4 for District 2 tonight at 6:30. I need you to be on it."

Thanks to my brilliant beta IrishLuck19. Always worth the wait (and school is real life.)

Thanks to all my readers and particularly those who take the time to review: Cattastrophies, RipredtheGnawer, EchoDeltaNine, HungerGamesGirl127, LawandOrderSVUAlways, Daydreaming Viking Girl, Howlynn, Solaryllis, Iluvdinos, WisdomGoddess26, Bakerboi6, Analyn Lana Ruse, Kina Kalamari, Grace Victoria, LawAndOrderSVUAlways (go easy on the ALLCAPS – you could hurt yourself!), and allie.