Paranoid

Johanna's greeting might have looked friendly, but her grip around my shoulders was cold steel. I bit my lip. Should I go with her? Did I have the time? Did I have a choice?

"Johanna, I need to get to the Base, to see Commander Brighton. Can you show me where it is?"

"What you're going to do is come with me. Now. Then I will get you to the Base." She was already moving swiftly, pushing me out of the train station square. I stopped and braced myself. She was going to have to throw me over her shoulder if she wanted me to move.

"No. I need to get over there now. I need to get into the Nut."

"You're delusional. You're not getting into the Nut. Now shut up and come with me." Johanna looked around us, not moving her head, eyes moving quickly. She seemed to think that someone could be watching us, listening to us. A shudder ran through me. I decided to go with her, to at least find out what she knew.

We moved briskly, in silence, then turned down a street and then again into an alley. Johanna kept her arm thrown over my shoulder, partly guiding me, partly pushing me. We came to a grimy stairway, which led down into a building. At the door, Johanna slid a part of the doorframe down, revealing a strangely clean touchpad. She punched in some numbers and I heard the door click open. The doorframe slid back into place. We went in, Johanna pausing at the door to glance back and make sure that there was no one there.

"We can talk now," she said. "This is a Safe Room. No bugging."

"Paranoid much?" Although so far my paranoia usually undershot reality. I thought of the bag of bugging devices we'd removed from the Victor's Village houses.

"You have no idea."

"What is going on? What was all that? Who would be following us?"

"Don't talk. Just listen. I have a lot to tell you and no time for chatting. Sit down." She crossed her arms, planted her feet and tried to stare me down.

We were in a bare cement room which had nothing in it, but a small folding table and a few chairs. I leaned up against a wall.

"Why should I listen to you? After what you did to Gale, what you did to his squad."

"You think he told you everything?"

"Yes." Gale had no reason to lie to me.

"Did he tell you about the noose I took out of his hands?" She leaned on the table and glared at me. I went to answer, but found no words.

"Damn. Remind me never to depend on your ability to lie. You're an open book," she scoffed.

"When?" I knew she loved shocking me, but I needed to know.

"While you were off, too busy to care about your former best friend. So you owe me. I saved your pretty boy for you. You owed me anyway. You promised me that you'd kill Snow. You swore on the lives of your family. I won't fall for that one again."

"What's your complaint? Snow's dead. Or did you have a thing for Coin?"

"I have a thing for meaning it when you swear. Listen, the explosion was at 12:20 p.m. yesterday. I'm going in there to try to save whoever I can, but every minute we waste they're down there, dying in the dark."

"Alright." I sat down. "What do you want to tell me?"

"That was not an accident at the Nut. There was an explosion in the lower lift. Someone is trying to kill President Paylor and they may have succeeded. We don't know."

"Wait – President Paylor?"

"So Gale didn't tell you."

"I don't think he knew."

Johanna's eyes rolled a bit as if to say 'Sure.'

I tried again. "Brighton wouldn't give him much information over the phone."

"District 4 must not have been much fun if he was willing to leave without knowing why."

"That's none of your business." No one was supposed to know that the trip went well. I didn't know what I should tell Johanna.

"If I'm gonna help you rescue your boyfriend then it is my business. Don't bother lying to me. You're here. That tells me what I need to know."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"You don't, brainless. But you don't have any other choices, do you? Now shut up already. I am here on special assignment with I.I."

"Excuse me?"

"You don't know what I.I. is? Internal Investigations?"

"Should I? I'm a civilian."

"I.I. reports directly to the President. Squad 425 is supposed to be part of a publicity bit, basically getting footage for another propo. They were going to take the president down to see the parts of the Nut they have cleared, spend one night down there to remind everyone that Paylor is still a tough one and then come up and show off the pictures.

"I don't have time for the whole long story. I've been investigating Squad 425 and there are at least two spies on the squad. I reported back to Paylor's office and they told me to end my investigation and look into possible food smuggling out of the kitchen. Since then my investigation of the squad has been . . . just call it informal. In the next couple of hours I am going AWOL and going into the Nut to see what I can find out, if there are survivors down there who need help."

"I'll come with you." I was not going to sit there and wait by the entrance, watching to see who came back up, praying they would be alive.

"No, you won't. The only way to get in is through Security and you have to be on the clearance list to get past. I'm on the list, at least for the next few hours, and you're not."

"I can sneak in." There had to be a way.

She pursed her lips and shook her head. "No way. First off, you're the most recognized face in Panem. And since the explosion security is tighter than ever, guards are posted along the fences. You can help more being our contact up top. I'll take you over to Beetee before I leave."

"Your contact? So you'll let me know what's going on down there. How?"

"I'll get to that in a minute."

If what Gale needed was for me to help up top, then I'd do it. "So wait – who are the spies? Who're they spying for? What's going on?"

"There seems to be a loose network of people who aren't happy with Paylor. That's why I was sent here. There were info leaks coming out of this Base. There's a guy on the Squad, Shine. He's copied and stolen documents, maps and sent them to someone in the Capitol. I'm not sure who; that's not my department. Apparently they've been plotting to kill Paylor when she went into the Nut and make it look like an accident."

"Who's the other one?"

"What other one?"

"You said there were two."

She locked eyes with me for a moment. "No. I meant there might be more. I don't know."

I wasn't the only one who was a lousy liar. I let it go.

"Who else is in on it? There has to be more than one guy."

"That's why we are in here where no one can listen to us. But on Base, in the district, everything is bugged, everywhere. When Brighton called Gale the other day, he went into town and called from a pay phone. Which was good, it shows that he knows to be careful, but not good enough. I listened in on that call. Who knows who else did." She smirked at me. Okay, maybe she could lie. She had known all along that Brighton didn't tell Gale much. It wasn't going to be easy to work with Johanna.

"There have got to be some big boys involved. That explosion supposedly took out all communications down into the Nut. That doesn't make any sense. It shouldn't have disrupted the communicuffs at all, much less the Base computers. Someone up top, someone smart, did that. The official story is that they crashed due to excessive use after the explosion, but everyone who can think knows that is garbage.

"Beetee's amazing. He kept the system from completely melting down and he'll have it going full steam before they know it, unless there's another attack. Brighton also seems to be a good guy, but beyond those two I don't trust anyone."

"So what're you going to do? What do you want me to do?" My heart was pounding. All I wanted was to get Gale out of the Nut. Instead I was walking into a nightmare. And one where my bow and arrow were going to be useless.

"I need to get to the Nut before the guards change at 1000 if I'm going to get in. Once I'm in I know how to disappear and get underground. But I won't be able to do it again. They're going to go ballistic when they figure out where I went. I've got a stash of supplies down there and I can look for survivors, get them food and water, some meds, some first aid."

"Wait. If you know a way to get down into the mine why not just tell Brighton? Send a rescue team in for them."

"I would, but there are still people up here trying to kill them. One of the biggest suspects is Colonel Onyx. He's in charge of the Surface and is coordinating rescue efforts. For now, we need to keep him, and anybody sent by him, as far away from them as possible.

"Once I find . . . any survivors I'll try to come back up with whoever can make the trip, but it will involve serious climbing so anyone hurt much won't be able to do it. Beetee is setting up a distraction for me tomorrow to be able to get out without being seen. When we get over to Base I'll show you where to meet me tomorrow after noon. Then we can figure out where to go from there.

"Until then, keep your eyes open and do what you can up top. You can help Beetee. He's working like a madman. But he'll be glad to see you."

"I can't help Beetee. I'm not a tech whiz. And what should I tell them? I'm not supposed to let anyone know that things went well with Gale. Oh, you know that. You heard Brighton."

"Just tell them that you came back because I called and asked you to come. Then act confused about not being able to find me."

"That won't work. Once you disappear they will question me. You already said you can't depend on my lying skills."

"Damn. That's true." Johanna got up and started pacing. "New plan. I've got to go back to Base before I go in. I'll talk to Beetee. You say that he wanted you here. We shouldn't be seen together, but I will make you a map, show you where stuff is."

"Anybody else you trust? Anyone in the Capitol?"

"The only person I trust in the Capitol is Paylor herself, and she isn't there right now. If we're lucky she's trapped down in the Nut. There's a snake on her staff somewhere though. So her office can't be trusted. One more thing – how to get a hold of me. Take this." She handed me a small plastic square, just a bit bigger than the trackers they'd put into our arms in the arena. "There's a special sort of communicuff that we use in I.I. This is the guts to one, although it's a bit fried. Beetee can make it work for you, then you can contact me, but don't let anyone else see it."

I held the little box in my hand. This was the way to find out if Gale was alive, if he was okay. I kept it clutched in my hand as I slid it into my pocket.

Johanna was drawing a map for me. "When I come up tomorrow, the distraction is planned for noon. I should be able to get past the security perimeter here." She pointed to an area on the map, but didn't make any mark on it. "Don't try to go there, but watch from the area roped off for spectators. I will signal you with a mirror. One flash means go back to Beetee's lab and wait there. Two flashes means meet me back here at the Safe Room. If anything goes wrong they'll probably throw me in the jail. That's here. Then come see me there."

"Do you have a map of the Nut? Where are they?"

"No time to get into that. They are on L5, the 5th level down. Get a map from Beetee."

She showed me how to find the Base, then Brighton's office and Beetee's lab. She went over the code names to use once I got the communicator working. Hers was "Dove." She shot me a scowl when I laughed. Mine was "Arrow." The squad members each had a number, alphabetically, so Gale was "Six."

"Beetee can help you, but remember you're always being listened to. And Beetee is even more paranoid than I am. I even think that he has rigged up booby traps in his lab. Some kind of weapons he has stashed up in the ceiling. He doesn't know that I know about that, by the way. The best way to talk to him is on his coffee runs, outside between buildings." She looked at her watch. "It's time to go."

We left the Safe Room and went opposite directions. I stood there in the alley for a moment, trying to memorize landmarks so that I could find my way back. If I could do this in the woods, I could do it in District 2. I went back to the train station, then headed up to the Base from there.

It took a while to get into the Base, through security, but eventually I ended up waiting for Captain Brighton outside his office. His secretary smiled thinly when she told me to take a seat, but her eyes kept coming back to me as she worked. She seemed to be making sure that I didn't steal any of the furniture. I felt grubby and conspicuous in my civilian clothes. And I had my giant hobo duffel. Nice.

I waited almost an hour. At first I went over everything Johanna had told me, especially the code names, the mirror signals. I couldn't write anything down so I had to lock them into my mind. Then I started wondering where she was right now, was she in yet? Where was Gale right now? Was he hurt? He hated the Nut, now he was trapped there. Was he alive? Would I know in my gut if he was dead? Had I known with my dad? Was it pitch black down there? Were the fires out? Did they have air? My head was starting to ache. I rubbed my left temple. I would rather be in danger, down in the Nut with him, then stuck up here. At least when I was in the arena there wasn't much time to think.

The secretary glanced at me. I hadn't stolen anything, but I was considering tearing the arm rests off of the chair.

I tried to think of what I could do to help Beetee. Nothing.

The door opened. A solid man in gray fatigues with a white crew cut hurried in. His hand was on the doorknob to his office when he registered that I was there.

"Captain, this is . . ."

"I know. Come in."

I followed him. He set some papers on his desk, then turned and shook my hand. "Mrs. Mellark, I'm Captain Brighton. Sit down." I didn't want to sit down. I wanted to climb down into the mine. I sat down.

"Beetee called me. I'm here to help him." I wanted him to know that I was lying. He knew.

"Good." He pushed a button on his desk. "Miss Agate, make up a security pass for Mrs. Mellark, clearance level 4, full meal pass." He let go of the button and looked back at me. "She'll show you where to get the photo for your pass in a moment. I've just been over to the Nut. The squads from levels 1, 2 and 3 are being evacuated. So far, we know very little about the situation on L5. Everything seems relatively stable at the moment. The explosion doesn't appear to have triggered any fires, at least not anything big enough to be detectable from the Surface. They are sending down sensors, but haven't gotten anything down that far yet.

"Beetee's work is crucial. We need communications back up. His lab is here." He handed me a Base map, circling Beetee's lab. It was more detailed than Johanna's hand-drawn map.

"I'm afraid I'll be hard to get a hold of; these next few days are unpredictable." I hated that he said 'days' but I was sure that he meant for me to know it was going to take a while. He stood up and I did too. I was dismissed. I started for the door.

"Mrs. Mellark . . ." He looked intently at me. His eyes said that he was sorry. "Thank you for coming. Oh – one more thing. Ms. Rutilus is going to want to see you. She was on L3, but she'll be out soon. She's the media liaison for the president's office. Word has not yet gotten out that the president's down there, but it will soon. Would you be willing to talk to her?"

Yuck. I wasn't the Mockingjay anymore. My shoulders sagged. "Do you think it will help them?"

"Yes. I do."

"Okay. I'll talk to her."

I had expected a hug, or something, from Beetee. Instead I stood in the middle of the lab as he typed viciously, his back to me. At last he ran his hand through his hair, turned to me and said "Katniss," like I was here every day.

He stared at me. I could tell he was trying to figure out what to do with me. Every time I thought of something to say I remembered that the room was bugged and said nothing. Finally, I managed "Beetee. I'll do anything I can to help."

"Can you read code?" I shook my head. "Electronics?" Again. "Equations?" Again. "Type?"

"A little." I had taken typing class in school. I got a B-.

"Julina!" he called. A moment later a girl walked in. She was even shorter than me, wearing the usual gray uniform, white blond hair in a ponytail, tattooed silver stars all over her face, down her neck.

"Take Miss Everdeen . . ."

"Mrs. Mellark," I interrupted. It was the name on my security pass and I somehow felt going by that name, my official name, would distract from my connection with Gale.

"Yeah, Mrs. Mellark. Take her to the office. She will help you with the data entry."

"Thanks, Beetee. Let me know if you need anything." He didn't even answer, just turned back to his computer and attacked it again. I started to follow Julina, then remembered something.

"Beetee!" I hurried over to him, clutching the communicator square in my fist. "Can you fix this?"

He took a moment to finish something on the computer, then turned to me. I opened my palm so that only he could see what was in it, but he picked it up and held it up, examining it against the fluorescent lights.

"Where did you get this?"

"I . . . found it." I looked him in the eyes, willing him to know who gave it to me.

His mouth squished up. He frowned and shook his head. "The circuitry is shot. I just don't have time to work on it, and it probably wouldn't work well even then. Sorry. We'll get the system back up soon." He turned back to his work, keeping the square without thinking.

"Beetee?" I held out my hand to him. He looked at me, surprised that I was still there, looked at my hand, then put the square back into it. He went back to work.

I bit down on my lip and closed my eyes. I squeezed the useless circuits in my fist. This had been my hope, my chance to hear Gale's voice again. I forced myself to take deep breaths and pushed the stinging out of my eyes. I put the square back into my pocket, now nothing more than a talisman.

Julina was waiting for me, her eyes huge. "Wow. You're really Katniss Everdeen."

It was hard to know what to say to that. All I could come up with was "Yeah." I followed Julina into a nearby office and reflected that she seemed to have more than the usual childlike quality that so many Capitol residents had. I wondered if Gale had changed his view of them. Maybe not since Johanna seemed to think it had been one of them who had blown them all up. Tried to blow them up.

Julina pulled another wheeled chair over to the lone desk in the room. "I watched all your Games; I've memorized every propo and I think I have all the books," she gushed while staring right into my face. I sat down in the chair and wheeled it a bit away from her.

"Books? What books?" Her gawking seemed to have squelched my ability to do sentences.

"Oh, there's one about your childhood, one about your first Games, one about your Victory Tour. They've never come out with one about the Quarter Quell."

"How about if you show me the work we need to be doing?" I didn't mean to be rude, but I had no idea what else to say to her.

Luckily she jumped right on it. "Everyone here is working like crazy, trying to get communications back up. A lot of what we have to do is just entering numbers, and the best way to do it is with two people. We can take turns typing and reading the numbers, then we need to go over them and double-check. I don't even know what they are for, but it'll be easier with two."

The day crawled by as we entered data. It was so dull that I was relieved when some of it was letters instead of numbers, but none of it made any sense to me. I tried to focus on the work and keep my mind from dark places. Every once in a while I would look up and catch Julina gazing at me. Awkward.

Apparently many of the lab's denizens never left; there were some cots in a room where some of them slept. I wasn't going to do that. I would share Julina's room. On the way to pick up lunch we dropped my bag off there. We got a bunch of boxed lunches and a bunch of coffee from the kitchen. Julina was insistent that I carry the coffee. At the labs most people barely looked up as we passed out the lunches. Then we went back into our office to eat.

Julina began to pepper me with questions. "Do you miss being the Mockingjay? Making the propos? Going to parties?"

I had my mouth full, but I shook my head as vigorously as I could.

"How did you get stuck in the lab? Don't they have some more important jobs for you?"

Finally I had swallowed and could answer. "They are going to find me sooner or later and make me do some propos or something. I'm just here because Beetee and I are friends and I want to find something I can do to help. So if data entry is what they need, fine." I decided to turn the tables on her, maybe get a break from her incessant questions. "What about you? How did you end up in the lab?"

"I was assigned a couple of months ago. They don't seem to quite know what to do with me. I did well on my aptitude tests, I'm good with electronics, but they won't ever give me anything real to do."

"You look young."

She sighed. "I'm 19, but no one ever believes that. I think it is because I am so short." 'And so shallow,' I thought. "And some people, a lot of people, have problems with the whole Capitol look."

"I know," I said as I felt a twinge of guilt for my mental jibe.

"It doesn't help that they think I'm a klutz." Her voice dropped and she looked down.

"They do? Why?"

"My first week, I spilled a giant drink all over one of the computers. Everyone freaked out. The worst thing is, after that, I did start dropping things. I'm really very good with my hands, good with fixing things, but no one believes that now." She was looking at her hands, as though trying to decide what to do with them. She looked up at me and gave her head a little shake as she brought back her smile. "So I'm learning to enjoy data entry. At least I got to meet you."

"Give it time. You'll get another chance." I didn't really know that, but I hated to see her so crestfallen.

"So your cousin's really cute. Who do you think he's dating now?"

My sputtering was interrupted by a young man, not in uniform, who came into the office and handed me a note: "You are needed to meet with Mica Rutilus in the auditorium at 1:00."

My mind was still frozen on all of the things I couldn't say to Julina. I had a half-hour before they wanted me. Brighton thought I should go, but my stomach was already regretting the half a sandwich I had eaten. I'd gotten used to press conferences on the Victory Tour, but Peeta had been the one who really knew how to handle them. I needed to talk to someone about whether this was a good idea.

"I'll be right back," I said to Julina, and went into the main lab.

Beetee was still in the same chair, still hunched over his keyboard.

"Beetee, do you have a moment?"

Once again, he finished what he was working on, then turned to me with a look that said – 'No, I don't have a moment.' But he just said "What?"

"They want me to meet with Rutilus, the president's media liaison, probably to talk about making some sort of propo. Do you think I should?"

For the first time since I arrived he seemed to really look at me. "Yes. You can do a lot of good. The rumor mill is about to start working and you can keep things calm, keep people from believing wild conspiracy theories. They'll listen to you."

'Wild conspiracy theories?' Was that what I believed? I wished I could talk openly with Beetee, ask him what he thought, but I couldn't. Not here, not now. So I nodded and walked out.

At 1:00 I peeked into what appeared to be the auditorium. I didn't know any of the people I saw there. I bit my lip and walked slowly down the aisle. Then one woman detached herself from a group huddled on the stage. She had blazing red hair and the Capitol look about her.

She came down the stairs and approached me with a large and practiced smile, threw her arm over my shoulder and steered me towards the others.

"Katniss Everdeen. I've so been looking forward to working with you."

Two hours later I was in a chair on stage, next to all of the various army officials. Captain Brighton looked exhausted, held up by nothing more than nerves. Of course, none of them looked very happy. Rutilus, though, managed to look like this was just another day in a busy job.

Her statement was confident and unruffled. It wasn't until I thought about it later that I realized that she hadn't said much at all. She acknowledged that President Paylor was down in the Nut, which set off a flurry of flashes and shouted questions. She took a few of them, but it was soon clear that she had very few answers. Then Captain Brighton read a brief statement, like Rutilus's words he had very little information to share, although unlike her he read his statement off a paper with very little expression.

When it was my turn I went to the podium and read my statement. I thought of how smooth Peeta had been. I tried to look up as often as I could and not to sound like a robot: "Ladies and gentlemen of the media, citizens of Panem, I am here today because I share your concern about the safety and welfare of our president. As you know, I'm from District 12 and this is not the first time I have waited outside of a mine to find out who survived after an explosion." Rehearsing I had been fine with this line, but suddenly my throat closed. I was gripping Prim's shaking hand as we watched, for hours, for a survivor who never came. I closed my eyes and fought back tears. I took a deep breath. I only had to get out a few more words. "All we can do is hope and pray that President Paylor and all of those still below with her will be back among us, safe and healthy, as soon as possible."

There was a flurry of flashes and a jumble of noise as I finished. But what I had said felt so incomplete. I heard a mix of shouted questions: "Miss Everdeen - do you think this was really an accident?" "Mrs. Mellark – are you behind the plan to build a statue of Peeta in the Capitol?" "Can you confirm rumors that Johanna Mason is also down in the Nut?" Without thinking my head jerked up at that last one. How could they know that? Were they just guessing? I didn't even know who had asked the question. Looking into the crowd of reporters seemed to make them think that I was going to answer some questions and they began jostling and yelling louder. Ms. Rutilus stepped back up to the microphone and graciously ended the press conference.

I wanted to flee back to the quiet of the lab. I was pushing my way through the crowd, when a hand touched my arm. I looked to see a grave-looking soldier, flanked by several others.

"Katniss?" he asked.

I just nodded.

"Devon Burdock." That name was familiar. Then I saw the medic's badge on his arm and it clicked into place.

"Doc?"

He gave me a weary smile. "Yeah. Do you have a minute? We need your help."

He led me silently out of the auditorium, the others following. It was a mob scene in the hall, but the noise fell away as he made some turns, then went into a quiet stairwell. He looked at me with his finger against his lips, then turned and hurried downstairs. After a few minutes of halls and turns and stairs we emerged behind the building. There were giant industrial fans creating a loud hum.

Doc stopped between two of the fans, turned to me and said "We can talk here."

My first thought was "Yes, but we can't hear here." Then I realized that was exactly the point. We couldn't be heard here. Two of the soldiers separated and went to stand near the corners of the building. Lookouts. Doc and one other soldier leaned in close to talk to me.

"This is Chervil. Over there is Groves, and that's Walker. You might've seen him in 13." I looked over at him, but didn't recognize him. Doc explained that they had been the last group of the Squad to go down so they had still been on L3 when the explosion happened. There had been two other squads working on L3 and they had shared their supplies. Since the power had gone out they still had to wait several hours down in the dark before they could be evacuated.

The two of them looked at me and then at each other. After a moment Chervil said "Look, we don't know why you and a certain someone who's not your cousin are keeping things under the bushel, but whatever. We do know that you're not just here because you're so worried about Paylor." He flashed me an impish grin and I felt my cheeks go warm.

Doc rolled his eyes at Chervil. "Sarge is a terrible liar. And I'd already talked to him while he was in 4, about the boar among other things. How did the boar turn out anyway?"

"Oh. It was great. It was . . . ." Suddenly I had to stop and bite my lip. I took a deep wavering breath to steady myself. Whether it was remembering how wrong it was that Gale missed out on the roasted boar, or relief at finding someone I didn't have to deceive, somehow my eyes were stinging with tears.

Docs eyes popped with panic. But Chervil smiled and said "Don't worry. Sarge won't stay down in that hole a minute more than he has to. He never does."

I nodded and hoped that this would all be over soon.

Thanks again for your gracious beta work, IrishLuck19.

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