"I don't really care, one way or another, of course," Dudley said, taking a drink from his bottle of beer. "Marianne's the one who brought it up, actually, so she doesn't care, either, but-"

"-Vernon," Harry said simply, and he and Dudley shared a knowing smile.

Ginny and Marianne could be heard moving about in the kitchen. Marianne had brought he and Dudley both Muggle beer and Harry had never tasted anything less appealing in his life. He set it on his knee and kept a hold of it, so as to have something to occupy his hands.

"Exactly. He'd go completely mental if Annie or Abby either one were…you know. Like you."

"Yeah," grunted Harry, leaning down to scratch his ankle. "Then again, if Dudders had a wizard kid, it might not be so bad."

Dudley rolled his eyes. "Please. I told him you were coming down to visit and he nearly had an aneurysm."

Harry snickered and unwittingly took a swig from his beer. He instantly regretted it, spitting the beer back into the bottle and coughing. "How, uh, how are they, by the way?"

"Mum and Dad?"

Harry nodded.

"Oh, they're good, good. Dad's finally retired and Mum's started a-"

"Flower thing, yeah. She sent Gin and me this absolutely-"

"-gorgeous vase," Ginny finished, coming in with Marianne and sitting beside Harry. Her hand on the back of his neck drove home the message he would likely pay for his insolence in regards to the-most-hideous-vase-in-the-world-so-don't-ever-mention-that-vase-again-because-I'm-throwing-it-out. Ginny beamed at Dudley. "I sent her a thank you and a couple of pictures of the kids, but would you…"

"Yeah, I'll tell her," Dudley said easily. It was an understood, unspoken possibility that Vernon would throw away anything addressed from 'the Potters'. "In case she doesn't see it."

"Thank you."

"Not a problem."

Harry cleared his throat. "If they are, though, dud, you should get a letter in the mail-"

"Muuuuuum! James is being weird!"

"That's Abigail," Marianne exhaled, standing up. "I'll go-"

Harry motioned her to sit down again. "No, I'll go. It's my kid being weird, after all."

He stood and made his way across the living room, bounding up the steps and into the girls' bedroom. He opened the door in time to see James move his hands quickly behind his back. He cheesed up at Harry. "Why, hello, Father. Such a pleasure to see you. We were just playing."

"Mhm," Harry nodded. "What've you got behind your back?"

"Nothing."

"It's a crayon!" Annie shouted, pointing at her cousin. "He kept making it melt and then turn back! And he won't tell us how and when we asked him, he said we had to take a secret oath and-and then he told us if we said anything, Voldingard would eat our souls!"

Harry scowled at James, who smiled nervously. "Really? Just playing?"

"It..it was harmless fun, Dad, honest."

"You don't sound so sure of yourself."

"My voice must be playing tricks on your ears, 'cos I'm totally confident right now."

Harry groaned and grabbed James up by the sleeve of his jumper, dragging him into the hallway. The twins and Albus looked out the doorway, fear mingling with mild satisfaction as his having been busted.

Harry stood atop the stairs and fixed his son with his sternest look. James quickly began to waver under the intensity of the look. "Oh, come on, Dad, it wasn't that bad."

"They are six, James. Six. And who the Hell is Voldingard?"

"They're six, Dad. Six," James retorted. "They can't say words right. I said Voldemort, they said Voldingard or whatever."

"This mocking thing has got to stop," Harry pulled his hand over his face. "You're practically insufferable sometimes."

"Well, look on the bright side," James offered as he held out his arms and grinned. "At least I didn't set their hair on fire like last time!"

"Yes. From flaming hair to Voldemort. You're just improving by leaps and bounds." Harry was irritated and sarcastic, but he couldn't help the smile that creeped onto his face.

He marched James downstairs and Marianne tilted her head at Ginny. "Leaving already?"

"I'm not sure…Harry?"

"Yes," he said, sitting James on the couch by pushing on his shoulders. "Sorry we can't stay."

"Oh, no problem. You're a busy guy," Dudley said. He stood up and gathered the beer bottles as Ginny went upstairs to get the others. "Good to see you, though, mate."

"You, too," Harry said, standing awkwardly at the foot of the stairs. He and his cousin stood in silence for a moment before Dudley awkwardly walked into the kitchen to throw away the bottles. Ginny came down the stairs holding both children and steaming. "Al tell you what happened, then?"

"Remind me that I love my son and that I don't want to kill him."

"You love your son and you don't want to kill him."

"With a little more conviction, please."

"Could say the same to you," Harry mumbled under his breath as Dudley and Marianne walked back in. "Well, guess we're leaving now. Thanks for having us over."

"Anytime!" Marianne chippered. "We'll see you to the door."

The Potters walked stiffly to the door and the Dursleys followed suit. Dudley shook Harry's hand again. "We'll be around, yeah?"

"Yeah," he said. "Let us know if…you know."

"Will do."

They shut the door and Harry and his family began walking back towards the road. The kids ran up ahead on the sidewalk while the parents lagged behind.

"You got in trouble," Albus boasted, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Toldja you would!"

"Yeah, well, we got to leave early, didn't we?" James smirked. "My madness always has a method, little brother. Always."