Rock Star Life
By: Karilicious123
Fixing Broken Glass
When Brooke reached the ground where Sam and Haley were waiting, she was white as a sheet.
"Are you okay, Brooke?" Haley asked.
"Haley, you should have seen her. I have never seen her or anybody like this before. It's like she is a different person."
"I don't even know what to do or say right now about that." Haley said blankly
"Peyton is talking to her right now, so hopefully she can do something to help."
"Some party this turned out to be..." Haley sarcastically mumbled.
"Oh the party !" Brooke cried, "I forgot !"
"Go," Haley said, "Sam and I will wait here until we are needed. You just go host your guests. We'll be fine here."
"But I feel so guilty; I go to a party when Mia is in there like this !" Brooke said as tears started falling out of her eyes, "Haley, she is like a daughter to me and I can't just leave her like this !"
"Brooke," Haley softly said as she grabbed Brooke's hand, "I know you are scared-"
"HOW COULD YOU KNOW?! YOU DIDN'T GO IN THERE AND SEE HER LIKE I DID!" Brooke screamed, "sorry..." she said softly.
"No , I didn't, and I can hardly imagine what it was like, but I promise you that she will be okay. Just go to your party and I promise that Sam and I will call you if anything comes up, or if she is ready to talk to all of us."
"Okay," Brooke said crying. She grabbed Haley into a hug, "I'm sorry I yelled at you."
"It's okay, I know you are just upset." Haley cooed, accepting the hug.
"Alright. Please call me!" Brooke said one more time as she got in her car and drove back to her party.
Listening to this mad Sam upset. Sam was, legally, Brooke's foster daughter, but Brooke had never actually used the term "like a daughter to me" in regards to Sam. Hearing her call Mia that made Sam tear up a little.
***
Back inside, Mia was slowly starting to calm down after about 45 minutes of crying. Mia finally retrieved her face which was buried in Peyton's arms, looked up with wide eyes at Peyton, and mumbled a soft, "I'm sorry." to her.
"Sweetheart, why are you apologizing to me?" Peyton questioned while brushing Mia's hair out of her raw, tear stained face.
"Because I am supposed to be the strong one!" she sobbed as the spill of emotions continued.
"But you are strong," Peyton reassured her.
"NO! I'm NOT! Look at me!" Mia shouted.
"Mia, just because you are hurt, doesn't make you weak. You are such a strong person." Peyton paused and drew in a much needed breath of air, "Now do you want to tell me what happened?"
Mia took in the same deep breath and started to tell Peyton everything. "Well," she shakily began, "When I was 9 years old, my mother became hooked on heroine and alcohol; bad. I remember, locking myself in the closet when she was drunk or had had a fresh dose of heroine running through her veins. I was so scared because she was so angry. I honestly thought multiple times that she would be so angry that she would kill me. She would throw things and blame me for everything that was happening to her. She would yell at me for not stopping her ! From not taking the needle from her or the bottle from her ! Well, she continued on with this problem, and it only got worse. She got to the point where she rarely ever left the house, or even her bedroom or her couch. She became a different person to me from the person who gave birth to me. She was a scary person; a person that I refused to refer to as my mother, because if she were really my mother when she was like this, she would still be there. She would still care. She wouldn't hurt me so badly." Mia cried, "When you and Haley started working with me on my record, I spend less time at home taking care of her, and more time here. She kept getting mad at me. She would blame my absences for the way she was feeling that day. And when I told her I was leaving for a year to go on tour, she just lost it. She said she hated me for putting my dreams before her. I never worked out the issue because I figured that I would get back to it when I came home, with a fresh mind set, but the day I came home; the minute I walked through the door, she collapsed. She was taken to the hospital, but a day of care couldn't cure the years of abuse that she had done to herself. She died today, Peyton." Mia said as she sobbed.
"Oh, Mia." Peyton said as she drew the girl into her, "I am so sorry-"
"No, you don't get it ! Yesterday, I went to the hospital to make closure with her, and she was fine ! She told me that she was turning her life around ! She told me that we would be a family again the second that she got out of the hospital ! THEN SHE DIED !" Mia yelled as she started hitting herself hard.
"STOP THAT !" Peyton shouted as she grabbed Mia's hand before she hit herself again, "LOOK AT YOU!" Peyton yelled, "YOU ARE BLAMING YOURSELF FOR WHAT YOUR SICK MOTHER DID TO HERSELF ! YOU ARE SO FULL OF ANGER TOWARDS YOURSELF, WHEN YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO !" Then Peyton started crying, "Mia, I care so much about you, and it just tears me to pieces to see you like this ! I wish I could take all of this pain away from you, but I can't ! No matter how bad I want to, I can't !" Then her voice became calmer, "But I can help you. I can ease the pain because I am here."
"Everyone who has said that to me has let me down. Everyone always leaves ! Why should I trust you?!"
"Because I'm not going anywhere." Peyton said as Mia fell into her arms to cry some more.
***
Meanwhile downstairs, Sam and Haley waited in silence for a que that it was okay to come upstairs. Sam hadn't said a word because she was too busy thinking of what Brooke had said earlier about her "daughter" Mia. Sam felt a strong feeling of betrayal, as well as one of self-loathe. Maybe Brooke didn't think of her as a daughter by choice, but now only one by law? Maybe it was because she wasn't good enough to be a part of Brooke Davis' family. It didn't make any sense.
"Haley?" Sam said, breaking the silence, "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course, Samantha."
"Why am I me?"
"What?" Haley asked with a puzzled face, "What are you talking about?"
"Why am I the way I am? Why do I have to be this awful person!"
"Samantha, you are in no way an awful person!" Haley said as she looked into Sam's eyes with a serious look, "What makes you think that?"
"I can't tell you." Sam said as she gazed away, "We are here to fix Mia's problems, not mine. I shouldn't have even opened my mouth. I guess I was just being selfish as usual."
"Yeah, we're here for Mia, but right now, Peyton is taking care of her." Haley said as she put her hand on Sam's hand, "Now let me be here for you."
Sam immediately started crying again. "It's just not fair. It's not fair how I can try so hard to be a good daughter, but Brooke can never call me one. She can never call me her daughter, but she has no problem calling Mia her daughter ! It just doesn't make any sense why she doesn't like me ! Is it because I get in trouble a lot? Is it because I'm ugly? Is it because I am not a primp princess like Brooke was when she was my age? Is it because I'm stupid? Is it because I don't know what I want to do in my life, or because I am not going to do anything spectacular like start a magazine, or a clothes line? Please tell me, Haley, because obviously I can't see it!"
"Sam, sweetie, Brooke loves you very much. She loves you like a daughter, but maybe she is scared of calling you that because she doesn't want to scare you away. Maybe she doesn't think you want that yet."
"Haley, get real! If she wanted to say it, she would have taken her chances and said it!" Sam smirked, "My whole life, I haven't had anybody to call family. When you and Brooke and Peyton and everybody came along, I had never felt happier in my entire life. It felt like finally people give a care about me, and it just scares me to think that Brooke doesn't think of me as a daughter. I think of her as a mother. She is the only mother I have ever had."
"Sam, I know that you have been through a lot of hurt in your life, but you aren't going to hurt anymore. You have people all around you that care about you and that would never do anything to hurt you, on purpose anyways. If you are really upset with this, you should talk to Brooke about it."
"What's the point. I guess she'll say it when she's ready." then Sam frowned and gazed away again, "Until then I am just a nobody, I guess."
Haley grabbed Sam's chin and positioned it so that Sam was looking directly in her eyes, "You are not a 'nobody', Samantha. You are a wonderful somebody, you just haven't been around enough people who make you feel that way."
"Thank you, Haley." Sam smiled through tears, "No one has ever said that to me before, in those exact words. It means a lot."
"I mean it !" Haley said pulling Sam in a hug, "You know Sam, I know you have Brooke and all, but you can talk to me about anything, anytime."
"I might take you up on that offer, Haley." Sam smiled, "It might help me. Actually, it will help me. A lot."
"Good !" Haley held her hand and smiled.
"I hope Mia's okay." Sam said, "You know, Mia was my first friend around my age that I met when I first came here. I met her at a park. She was sitting and thinking on one bench, while I was sitting and thinking on another, and somehow we just ended up talking. I told her about my foster family problems long before you found out and moved me in with Brooke. Mia is the first real friend I have ever had in my entire life, and I hate to see her like this and no matter how hard I try, I can't help her. Especially after all the times she helped me."
"But, Sam," Haley said as she rubbed Sam's arm. "You can help her."
"How?"
"By being here." Haley answered softly.
Then she stood up, "Like right now. Come on, let's go and see her." Haley smiled as she grabbed Sam's hand and helped her to her feet, heading inside the studio to see Mia.
Boy, am I luck to have Haley. Sam thought as they made their way through the studio doors, once more.
***
"Everything okay in here?" Haley asked as she entered the room with caution.
"No," Peyton said "but it will be." she finished, winking at Mia.
Mia opened her mouth to begin to tell Haley and Sam what was going on, when Haley put her finger, closing Mia's lips.
"Shh. Peyton can tell us later, or you can even tell us later if you think you are ready for that, but I don't think you should do that to yourself, you know, say it all again? It has probably already drained all of the emotion and energy out of you, so you should save it for another time." The she put her hand on Mia's, "I'm sure Peyton has already told you this, but we all love you and it hurts us all to see you like this," sensing Mia tearing up again, Haley quickly flipped her mood around, "so don't let it happen again," she said with a wink, "Now let's get back to the party." she exclaimed, jumping up in the air.
"Actually, I think I just want to go back to Peyton's house and call it a day. I am exhausted, like you said, it's draining. I think i just need some time alone, to think."
"Of course." Peyton said placing her arms around Mia, "Come on, I'll drive you home."
"Well, we better go inform Brooke on everything." Sam said as she went up to Mia with a hug, "I'm glad you are feeling better." She smiled as she exited with Haley.
***
In the car, Mia didn't say a word. Peyton made several attempts at conversation, but every one of them failed. She did understand that Mia had had a rough day, so she eventually accepted the silenc e. When they arrived, Peyton stepped out of her car to walk Mia to the house.
Stopping at the front door, Peyton looked Mia in the eyes and said, "I know it's been a big, long day for you, so I understand you are tired and just need time to process today, but if you get longely, or ned anything, call me and I'll come home." she grabbed Mia's hand, "I am very sorry about your mom, because I really know how you feel."
"How?" Mia softly asked,
"Because I lost my mother too. It hurts like hell right now, and you just feel so confused; like you don't understand anything going on, but keep your chin up." She tilted Mia's chin up, "Everything's gonna be okay." She smiled.
"Thank you, Peyton. For everything today. There is so much more I want to talk to you about. I can't right now, but I do want to, and I will. I promise. Another day."
And with one more hug, Mia disappeared into the house and Peyton took off back to the party. She could finally breathe somewhat easier again.
*Mia's Point of View
What a day. I spilled everything to Peyton. I told her everything, I cried on her. I leaned on her. I trusted her. And I don't regret it. I feel so liberated right now that I finally let someone in; that I finally trusted somebody and let this load off of my shoulders. But when I started to feel happy with relief, I remembered that only this morning, my mother died.
She was gona. She was really gone. She was gone, and there was nothing I could do to bring her back. She had given up. It seems like she didn't want to fight, even for me. But I know that's not true.
Peyton was right. I am confused. How can my mother be alive one morning and gone the next? I guess this proves that we are all thrown things in life that we may not understand today, or tomorrow, or maybe 5 years down the road. But everything happens for a reason, or so I believe. And I'm starting to believe that the reason is, often, to figure out whatever that reason may be, and to make us think about who we are and the lives we live. Life is short. I also believe that too, as of today.
***
As Peyton walked back into Brooke's house to rejoin the party, she was immediately bombarded with questions from Brooke, Sam, and Haley.
"So, is everything okay?! Is she home safely ?! Is she any better?!"
Peyton stopped them from talking and answered all of their questions with one simple statement:
"Fixing Mia's broken heart and spirit is going to be like fixing broken glass. It is going to take a lot of effort. It is going to take a lot of cuts and wounds to open and reopen. It is going to be painful, frustrating, yet rewarding at the same time. And it is going to take a long time." Peyton said, "But in the end, the result will be good as new. Or maybe even better." she finished as she winked at her best friends.