CHAPTER THREE
Over the next week, we've tried every possible argument to get Hermione to stay. Luna even pitched in to help by making up a huge fight with Ron over her supposed "pregnancy" which only succeeded in getting us the silent treatment thereafter.
I was washing the morning dishes having sent Ron and Luna off to an early start on their weekend at the Burrow when Hermione walks in. If I can't get her to stay, I could at least get her to speak to us again.
"Hey sleepyhead. I don't think the mission would appreciate it if they knew you kept such Paris Hilton hours."
"Amusing! Everybody's a comedian all of a sudden. If you must know, I spent the better part of last night in orientation, elbow-deep in bandages. Like I bloody need it, those prats. You'd think the way they were carrying on that they didn't teach us that in medical school." Rolling her eyes as she surreptiously swipes a piece of toast from my half-finished breakfast which I caught from the corner of my eye.
"Hey go make your own."
"Harry! Have you no compassion for your famished fellow man. Or woman as the case may be. Besides, when I go who's going to appreciate the culinary swill you'e managed to concoct"
"Well I don't see Ron complain." I snatch the toast away from her just as she was going to take a bite and place a plate of omelette and baguette before she has time to start a tirade.
"Why do you think he's in a rush to marry Luna?" raising an eyebrow at me.
"Well perhaps it could be because she isn't named lovegood for no apparent reason."
"What a pervy thing to say! You are such a man. Get your mind out of the gutter." She has started chucking pieces of baguette at me as we start laughing. As our laughter die down, Hermione cups her chin with her hand and sighs, "Oh Harry! How am I going to live without you and Ron."
"It's simple, then isn't it. Stay." I take her hand in mine.
"Harry," a warning in her voice. "Stop being a wanker. Don't ruin the moment."
"You ask me how you'll live without us. I ask myself the same thing. All my life, I was defined by my past and Voldemort. Now that he's gone. I feel empty somehow. I'm no longer relevant. Everything's different and I feel strange in it. Who am I supposed to be now? But when you and Ron are around, I somehow find the answers. Ron will be defining a life of his own and now so will you. It just seems that I don't belong anywhere." Tears are in her eyes as I say this. I hate it that I nearly made her cry and the last thing I want is to make her stay out of some misguided attempt to appease my self-imposed withdrawal from life. I look down too late as she tries to wipe her eyes..
"Harry that's not true. Isn't it too soon for you to fall into such an existentialist claptrap?" Reaching across the table to touch my face, she coaxes me. "Look at me Harry. May be you've just put your life on hold for a while but now that you've fought and won to keep it for you and the people you care about, isn't it about time you started living as you've always wanted. Not as the Boy-who-Lived but as a man who dares to find other definitions to who you are. Possibly a husband or a father to an equally pathetic creature as yourself who happens to like retired heroes." She smiled at me.
"Well, I could be hopelessly dim-witted at times. Who'd save Ron and me then especially when it comes to girls?
"Honestly Harry. All you have to do is ask. It's not as if a certain flame-haired vixen has stopped fancying you. You and Ginny practically have elevated long lingering looks and sighs into an Olympic sport it's annoying Ron and me come to think of it."
"Well, not like how you annoyed us with your trifles and squabbles while you guys were still a couple. I nearly used sectusempura on myself."
Hermione smirked at my comment, "Were we really that annoying?" I raise my eyebrow in incredulity, daring her to disagree. Becoming more contemplative, she continued, "Well, okay we were. I guess I was scared and lonely so I jumped on the first thing that made me feel anything aside from hate and despair. Clearly, this is not the case between you and Ginny. If I didn't force the issue with Ron we could've spared each other the trauma but at that time, I just wanted to feel like I belong with someone."
As she said those words, it was as if I saw Hermione for the first time. How she is strong and fearless and yet at the same time so vulnerable. I reach out and cover her hand with mine, "Oh and all this time I thought it was all about the shagging." Hermione glares at me and I move beside her. "Seriously 'Mione. I'm a tad bit surprised that you feel like you're drifting. You belong with us. Just promise me one thing. Don't jump on the first proposal from some young arrogant doctor before Ron and I give him the stamp of approval."
"Hah! Like you would actually approve of anyone. Look what happened to Viktor."
"Hermione you're far too good for him."
"See what I mean?! At the rate you're going, I'd end up a catankerous spinster with a million cats."
"So much the better."
Hermione aims a playful punch at my shoulder but I block her and pull her towards me. I ruffle her hair which irritates her and kiss the top of her head. Her head settled snugly at the crook of my neck.
"Will you write to me every day Harry?"
"Without a doubt Hermione. I didn't think it would be this hard to let you go. Strange but I miss you already."
"Oh Harry, stop being so melodramatic. I'm going to Kenya not to some bloody battle in the underworld." Rolling her eyes at me.
And just like that, I knew that as much as I would want to keep her close at hand, I've been routed. Hermione always have had a mind of her own and that's what's so great about her in the first place. Except during those times when I really don't care for it much. Like now. My best friend is leaving. My other best friend is getting married. And where am I? Or what am I? I'm a figure in the past, that's what.