CHAPTER SIX

For the next couple of weeks, I have worn a path from the house to the mailbox. Each time, the trip coming up disappointing. No post came from Hermione. Not even a hint of Afica darkened the mailbox. Where was she? I was halfway out of England on my way to Kenya on my broom but realized that I'd freeze to death on the trip and decided to just go back. Besides, I have no idea where she could be, I might have as much success in finding her than getting Ron to stop eating and helping me with the chores.

Trying to make it seem like my life has gone back to normal after three weeks of waiting, I resolved to take Hermione's advice - to pick up where I left off before knowing about horcruxes. So I asked Ginny for dinner just to talk about where we are and where we want to go. I guess, after 11 years of "putting my life on hold", I was oblivious to where it should be going. After Voldemort and after every other obstacle has been overcome, the only other obstacle I needed to surpass was the fact that Ginny and I were not really destined to last. It wasn't even because we've stopped trying. I guess everyone expected that we would end up together. But there was one thing I noticed about Ginny which I have tried to ignore in the past. She was a bit self-centered. It's probably because she is the youngest in the family and the only girl to boot. That and the fact that every time we got together, I always kept on talking about Hermione. The last straw came when we were snogging our brains off in my apartment when I sort of slipped out and said "Hermione" instead. Of course, she was smart if nothing else and so she decided to break it off with me right then and there. As for me I don't know why that slipped out. It's not as if I'm fantasizing about kissing Hermione. Or am I? I don't even want to go there and analyze that. So going back to Ginny, knowing her, it didn't take too long for her to move on. She was dating Dean by the time Ron and Luna got married. It wasn't to say that I didn't regret the fact that it didn't pan out but when she was out there dancing with him instead of me, I sort of wished that it was me instead. And it was during these times when I wished Hermione was around because when she was around things weren't so unsettled.

I keep on thinking about Hermione more often than usual. I was thinking that now that Ron has finally settled down, it's not the same being part of the Golden Trio and not have either of them by my side. Lately, I've been having dreams about the time we said good bye to Hermione at the airport. I haven't had any of those paralyzing chest pains which I think is just because of separation anxiety. After all, they are the only family I ever knew. Without Ron or Hermione, I was left all alone. Again. Not for lack of trying. Ron and Luna have been tireless in setting up dates for me since Ginny and I broke up for good. But none of them were anyone I could seriously consider being with. Well there was Cho but then she told me that she fancied Ginny and so given that I don't think we'd work out. Anyway, there was one day when I invited myself to Ron and Luna's place when Ron thought it best to have a serious conversation with me about my love life or rather lack thereof. No doubt in response to Mrs. Weasely's incessant worries about what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. Like I'm not 22 years old and instead was an errant lanky boy of 14

"So mate, where's Luna?"

After they have gotten married, Ron and I had typically set Saturdays watching rugby. After having introduced Ron to muggle sport, he has also taken to drinking lager during matches which Luna does not particularly support. I cannot wonder why. May be because I end up staying with them until Sunday. If not for the fact that I was Harry Potter, Luna would have thrown me out on my ass sooner.

"Well, she's gone to the doctor today and then have lunch with her father. She'll be home by tea time most probably"

I stand to get the remote control and some more chips. The place was a bit of a mess and I sort of understand why Luna chooses to go out when Ron and I decide to hang out. The place sort of looked like Grimmauld Place when Kreacher was still keeping house which a girl would presumably find "unliveable" Luna not being like those normal girls, you can tell that the house looked like a wrecking ball went through it while all the stuff was inside. I try to pick up some of the pieces, feeling guilty, but decide to use magic instead.

"Oh? Doctors you say. Why is Luna going to St. Mungo's?"

Ron stares blankly at the television while answering, "Not to St. Mungo's. She said that she's going to some muggle hospital. I don't know why."

"Hope it's nothing serious. Why do you think she'd want to go see a muggle doctor?"

"She's been feeling a bit under the weather lately. Healers have been backed up lately and they say muggle doctors would know what to do and sent her off there." Commercials have come up and so Ron tears his gaze away from the screen and looks at me, "Say, Harry, have you ever thought of settling down?"

I stop midway from putting some of the trash in the compactor. It's the least I could do for Ron and Luna's hospitality. My eyes nearly pop out of their socket at Ron's question which just blindsided me. You know how in muggle cartoons when the Wily Coyote is standing unwittingly as a boulder is rolling behind him. Well, I guess I was going to be Wily Coyote.

"Well, sure I have but not at this time."

"What about Hermione?"

I open a bottle of butterbeer and head back towards the couch. "Yeah, what about her?"

"Well, remember when you once told me that you can't imagine being without her in your life. I kinda feel that about Luna."

"So what? Are you trying to imply that I fancy her in the way that you love Luna?"

"Well yeah."

I chuckled. I mean I'm amazed at Ron's leaps of logic sometimes which in the course of the time I knew him, was only right 1 in 10 times. Obviously this was one of those 9 times where in he is clearly barking up the wrong tree. "Ron, just because you've gone and become part of a smug married couple, doesn't mean its incumbent upon you to pair off the rest of your single friends." I shake my head and try to focus on the telly once again which right now was showing a commercial with some girl who reminded me of Hermione because of her bushy hair holding hands with a lunkhead that reminded me of Viktor Krum. I savagely switch channels. I hate seeing those commercials anyhow.

"It's just that I'm worried about you Harry. You spend a lot of time at work. If you're not at work, you're at Grimmauld's sulking because Hermione hasn't sent you a letter or you're here. How are you going to meet some nice girl? I thought that it was you and Ginny for sure but then that didn't work out. Then you went out with Cho and you drove her to become a lesbian apparently."

"Okay fine Ron. If you want me to get out so you could spend more time with Luna, just say so." I stand up in a huff and start putting my coat on.

"No. No Harry it's not that. You know Luna and I love having you around. It's just that we're a bit worried that you might end up alone. Or worse miserable."

Understanding where this is coming from, I sit down and shake my head. "Ron, I'm not alone. I have you and Hermione. Now that you've gone and married Luna, I also have her."

"Well yeah, but don't you ever wonder what it's like to come home and know that there is that one person in the world who is waiting for you. That one person who you think of when you try to make sense why you're still in this world plodding along. It's not to say that I didn't feel that with Hermione and you but it's a bit different with Luna. Back when we were still fighting Voldemort, I didn't know the difference because I knew why it is I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm doing this to have freedom. For my buddy and at that time for a chance to have a life with Hermione. But I never stopped feeling alone. Then Voldemort was killed and a load of other people I loved died. The loneliness was more acute then and I couldn't ignore it. Life's so short and for a while there I was lost. Then I met Luna and everything changed. As cliché as it sounds, I feel alive for the first time."

I look at Ron amazed. Somehow after having been accused by Hermione as having an emotional IQ with the intensity and a range of a teaspoon, it was bewildering for me to see how much he has grown. I thought he was done and I was about to reply when Ron interrupts me with words that gripped my heart like a vise.

"What happens if Hermione finds someone else?"

"WHAT?!? What do you mean? Has she written to you about someone?"

"No. I'm just saying that –"

It was at that moment that Luna bursts in and says, "Honey, you're going to be a Daddy."

Of course I left after that. I congratulated the parents to be and apparated out of their house to give them some privacy. I bet, Ron was just itching to tell his mother. But on the way back to Grimmauld and seeing the place empty, the words rang in my ears. What if Hermione indeed found someone else. I don't think that would be acceptable at all given by the fact that the pain in my chest has mysteriously started again. Tomorrow, I'm going to St. Mungo's and have that checked but for now I'm owling Hermione to ask her how she is and try to find out discreetly whether she's found someone.