6 March 1919
I know what you're thinking John Clarkson. You're thinking now that I'm opening up to you through this journal I'll start talking any day now. Well, as a stuffy British gentleman once told me, one swallow doesn't make a summer.
But I suppose you want to know what happened next. I stayed at Downton of course, but you know that, you met me there. Not that you noticed me until I asked if I could train as a doctor for the war. Anyway I stayed at Downton and nothing very eventful happened to me until a few years later when I went to London for the season to serve at the Crawely's town house. By that time I was first footman as Peters had left (the Crawleys only ever take one footman along with his lordships valet and her ladyships maid). It was the first time I'd ever been to London and my eyes practically popped out of my head looking around before I had to take the luggage inside.
I hardly got any free time to myself of course, but when I did I was off like a shot exploring the city. Sarah preferred going to the Irish tavern's and grumbled about how I'd rather tramp around in 'that gloomy great place' then warm myself over a tankard of stout. She teased me and I teased her back, before we left each other be.
One night the Duke of Crowborough came to stay. There was this mighty great thunderstorm and the Crawleys told him he'd better stay the night as he'd come on horseback and he'd have had the devil of a time getting a cab that late at night. Besides, one of the Crawleys carriage horses had gone lame, so they couldn't even offer him their carriage. Anyhow, as he'd just been intending on staying the evening he hadn't brought his valet, so I was assigned the task of undressing him. I'd played valet before when we'd had a surplus of guests, so I knew what to do, though I was hardly the world's best valet.
I took off his jacket, hung it up and started unbuttoning his cufflinks. He sort of jerked his hands and one of them fell on the floor. He apologised and asked me to pick it up. I bent down to get it and sort of saw him staring at my arse out of the corner of my eye. I felt a bit confused and probably started blushing a bit. I fumbled with the second cufflink terribly, but the Duke didn't say anything, he just sort of smirked a little bit. That was even worse. I nearly dropped them again before putting them back in the case. I got back and he was sort of struggling with his shirt buttons, in a way which I now realise was obviously faked. He smiled before saying, "they're a little fiddly, could you give me a hand?", to which I replied "of course sir" or something of the kind, like a good little valet. I started unbuttoning him, trying to be brisk and proffesional, but to my shaking hands the buttons were a little fiddly and my progress wasn't going as fast as I'd hoped. "What's your name?" the Duke asked me, while I unbuttoned his shirt.
"Thomas, my lord," I answered only just remembering I was to call him that. I looked up at him a little stricken, I'd been calling him "sir" before. He laughed down at me, before saying, "No need to call me 'my lord', that's a little tiring after a while, and 'sir' seems too old and too militant for me, don't you agree?". I gave him a small smile; I was increasingly worried with my own behavior. You know I'm an arrogant little prick, but I was acting like a scatter brained school girl. "You can call me Jack, if you like," the Duke continued. I looked up at him as though he'd just announced that he was renouncing his title as Duke to persue a career in service. He laughed at me again,"Short for James, you know," he said rather unnecessarily. I realised then that I'd stopped unbuttoning his shirt and that my fingers were frozen and wrapped around the fabric. I blushed and continued unbuttoning, before blushing further as his muscled chest was revealed.
"You seem a little flushed," the Duke said in a concerned voice. "Perhaps you'd best take this..." he ran his fingers lightly over my footman's jacket, "off". I looked at him as though he were crazy, before catching the hungry light in his eye. It's embarrassing, but only then did I really get an inkling of what was going on and well, 'how many chances like this am I going to get?' I thought as I slipped my jacket off slowly. The Duke licked his lips before stepping forward and pulling me into a kiss. I awkwardly put my hands on his waist, not knowing what to do as he gave me a kiss that was slow and passionate. He moved his hand to rest on my cheek as he deepened the kiss and I moved my left hand to rest on top of his. I began to move my lips tentatively in time with his. After a short while he licked my lips, asking me to open my mouth. I did so and he put his tongue in. I think I let out a small moan or gasp, I hadn't really known what to expect, but it felt so good. He went a little feral at that and pushed me up against the wall, kissing me roughly before we broke apart, with me breathless and gasping for air. By this time, my uniform was so rumpled that Mr. Carson would have had a seizure if he'd seen it.
He pulled back a bit and sort of stroked my face and my hair. "Thomas, have you ever done anything like this before?" he asked in a soft, gentle sort of voice. I was pretty flustered already, but I'm sure that comment earnt a new blush. "I...well I sort of got drunk once and..." I trailed off, feeling stupid. The Duke...Jack?...obviously knew what he was doing. I felt as inexperienced as I was. "But, erm" I continued, clearing my throat. "We didn't do...much".
"We'll go slowly then,"James said, taking my hands (I always called him James, I never liked the nickname Jack and 'my lord' really did seem a bit much, considering). He backed off, squeezed my hand and then went to sit on his bed. I hesitated a moment before following him and standing awkwardly in front of him. He patted the spot next to him and I sat. He slowly slid off his already open shirt and I stared at his naked chest. "You can touch," he said, guiding my hand. I ran both hands tentatively over his muscles before growing bolder with my carresses and beginning to play with his nipples. He gave a small groan and pulled me into a kiss, lying back at the same time so I ended up on top of him. James flipped our positions pretty quickly however and soon he was on top and unbuttoning my shirt. He started running his hands up and down my chest and I tried not to be too loud, but I kept making these little noises that seemed to be driving him crazy. He guided one of my hands to the waistband of his pants before breaking our kiss and asking whether I minded touching him. I said I didn't mind and slid my hand slowly down before cupping him. He felt so big and he was already hard. I gripped him gently and started moving my hand up and down. I'd done this before, though I hardly remembered it, but I'd only felt Mark through his pants. At the same time James put his hand down and cupped me. I wasn't prepared for it and I bucked up into the touch. The Duke smirked, before drawing me back into a breathlessly passionate kiss, while continuing to fondle me. I continued my own ministrations, becoming considerably bolder, although I was rather distracted by what James was doing to me. James came first, calling out my name. The look on his face caused me to come soon afterwards and an amazing orgasm coursed through my body before I exploded onto his hand. I felt faintly embarrassed, but James pulled me into an embrace and whispered into my ear. "Thomas, you are good with your hands".
"Well, my dad was a clockmaker," I answered before I could think it through. I really wanted to kick myself, but James just laughed as though at a joke and I smiled, letting him think I'd been trying to be clever.
As he was gently stroking my back, I came to myself and realised I ought to get back to the servants hall. I fairly jumped up and James quirked an eyebrow at my sudden movement. "I have to get back," I said half apologetically as I scrambled around collecting my clothes. "Carson will be wondering what took me so long".
"Are you sure you don't want to spend the night?" James was looking me over like he had when I'd bent over to pick up the cufflink and I began feeling a little flustered again. I was tempted to accept his proposal, but I knew I couldn't. It would lead to far too many awkward questions, so I shook my head and just said, "I can't, James, Carson'd kill me".
"So it's James now?" he asked. "Not Jack? Or 'my lord'?" he added cheekily. I glowered at him as I struggled back into my clothes, tucking in my shirt and straightening my jacket. I looked at myself in the mirror before groaning aloud "my hair!"
James laughed at me, "what about it?" he asked.
"It's a mess!" I waved my arms up and down as though I were pretending to be a windmill or something. "Mr. Carson hates it when the staff aren't...presentable," I added by way of explanation, while trying to flatten down my then unruly hair.
"Here," he pushed my hands away. He'd picked up a comb from the vanity and began to pull it through my hair. He smoothed it with some of his hair product that had been lying there as well and when he'd finished, I looked just as I had when I'd first come in. "There now run along, we wouldn't want to upset Mr. Carson," he patted me on the back. I gave myself another quick once over and he laughed. "The way you footmen scurry about trying to impress a butler," he said. I stiffened, as I felt this to be a condescending remark. He seemed to pick up on this, so he leant forward and kissed me softly once more on the mouth as if in apology, before saying, "see you in the morning" in a way that sent shivers through my spine. I gave him one last look before hurrying back to the servants quarters.