Letter six
Dear spencer,
You told me you would always be here for me so where are you? I had a horrible nightmare last night and in my dream I was feeling sad and lonely and having a terrible time where I was and all I wanted to do was text you and hear it would be okay. That you loved me and missed me and soon we be together and it would all be okay. But I also knew that if I texted you I wouldn't hear that you wouldn't even respond and that made me even more upset in my dream. When I woke up I just wanted to call you like I did every time I had a nightmare. Then reality sank it and I realized I couldn't that you didn't want to talk to me and my nightmare was true. I had such a good day yesterday! I worked out with some friends and workout on the rowing machine for the first time and really enjoyed it. I also found out that I made it into the rowing class I was hoping to get into. I hope you were right about thinking I would love to row because there is no turning back now. I also found out that I passed my online Disney interview so hopefully I pass the live interview and I will be working at Disney to. Also Kyla found out where her job is going to transfer her. Right by UCLA remember we all said if she gets transferred to that office we would all move in together. But now that is never going to happen is it? I think what pains me the most is knowing that you don't want to hear from me and that you could care less if you never heard from me again. You say that you never hate people but I feel like you hate me. If some horrible accident were to happen you wouldn't care what happened to me, you'd probably never even know. You just told me you would always be there for me and I could always count on you. I just don't understand why that cant be anymore. How was it so easy for you to forget me. How was it so easy for you to stop caring about me. Ya so I may have made you angry by pushing you away but it should have never been enough to do this. Im still your goofy the girl you love to be with the one who knows all you deepest secrets. It kills me knowing you don't care. It makes me numb inside knowing you've moved it because your straight and you think I was a mistake? Or did you just never really love or care about me and that you just used me like a lot of people do. I thought what we had was special once in a lifetime if even, you told me you did to so what happened.
Just having a bad day,
Ashley.