Letter nine,
So you have already replaced me Spencer, while Kyla and I were looking at houses by UCLA we saw you drive by talking on your phone with a smile. It hit me at that moment you've completely moved on to someone else and replaced me in every way. It hit me that you probably met someone else and that must have been them you were talking to. Your parents don't let you talk and drive but you used to call me ever day on your way home from work, but who are you calling now? How do you and see every night? Who do you go to when your sad? When your horny? Who replaced me and are you happy? I wished I had never seen you today I thought I was feeling a bit better but now im back to feeling miserable. Today it finely hit me that you've erased me from your life and replaced me without even a second thought. I really am and was nothing to you. Im not even comfortable for you, you're afraid im probably going to suck you back in and all gays are gross to you now. I just don't know any more everyone says to move on like you did. Part of me wants to keep hurting because I deserve it after what I did by pushing you away. If I keep punishing myself it will make you happier. I just cant wait till I get the chance to show you ive changed my ways and im better and that I am still the person your meant to be with. Im just worried that even after everything your going to still be closed minded about us. The reality is your probably be with someone else by then madly in love and wanting to marry them. If you aren't already in love with them now. Im sorry I cant move on like you want, like what everyone wants.
Yours forever
ashley