A/N: CHAPTER 3 HAS ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!! sorry for the long wait. i'll try and be better about that. no guarantees though. enjoy.
Chapter 3
Sasuke was already seated in one of the plush chairs by the fire when Seamus came down and flew out the portrait hole. He rolled his eyes, thinking the whole thing stupid and childish. But his thoughts didn't remain on Seamus for long. Sasuke had much more important things to worry about.
Itachi's appearance was unexpected and quite worrisome. Sasuke had no doubt in his mind that his older brother was there to collect Naruto while Konoha was far away, but…did he have to be a teacher too? The raven-haired teen was not keen on sitting through an entire class listening to his brother talk. Could Itachi even talk for that long? From what Sasuke could remember his brother wasn't the most talkative person.
"Teme!"
A blond blur flew down the stairs and attached itself to Sasuke and his chair. The Uchiha twitched.
"Naruto, you have to the count of three to get off of me before I murder you."
"Aw come on Sasuke!" Naruto chirped. "Have a heart!"
"One." With a sigh Naruto slid down onto the floor where he proceeded to cross his arms and pout. Sasuke rolled his eyes at his partner's childish behavior.
"They are the limit."
Both ninja looked over at their charge and his two friends. Hermione was glaring reproachfully at a large sign. It was entitled, Gallons of Galleons!
"We'll have to talk to them, Ron," Hermione was saying. The redhead looked alarmed.
"Why?" he said. The three began to climb out of the portrait hole. Sasuke and Naruto quickly followed. They hung back far enough not to be noticed but close enough to listen in. As they entered the great hall Sasuke noted that many students stared or out right glared at Harry. It made him scoff. Stupid ignorant little children.
"Hey guys!" Naruto shouted, plopping down beside Harry.
"Hey!" Ron replied cheerfully around a mouthful of food. Sasuke gave a small 'hn' and sat down beside Naruto.
"Hey Sasuke," Hermione said, gaining the dark-haired shinobi's attention. He raised an eyebrow. Hermione glanced up at the teacher's table. "Are you by any chance related to professor Uchiha?" Naruto choked on his food and Sasuke's eyes narrowed into a fierce glare. Ron looked like he was trying to snap his fork in half. Harry simply rolled his eyes.
"Unfortunately," Sasuke ground out after a few moments of trying to control his temper. His eyes darted to where his brother had just sat down. The elder Uchiha was watching them, a smirk already firmly in place. Kisame was nowhere to be seen.
"Is he single?" Hermione asked eagerly. A few other girls sitting nearby had overheard the young witch's inquiry. They were all leaning over as far as they could, straining their ears to hear Sasuke's answer. Sasuke hesitated for a moment. Then a positively evil idea popped into his head. He smiled. Naruto scooted over a little, wary of the look on his partner's face. Up at the teacher's table Itachi's smirk was slowly slipping into a frown.
"Why, no he's not," Sasuke began in sickeningly sweet voice. Hermione and the surrounding girls looked disappointed. Ron looked triumphant. Harry didn't really care. Naruto looked confused.
"In fact," Sasuke continued, knowing his brother was eavesdropping, "You know that big blue shark guy from last night?" He could feel Itachi's murderous look. "Well, they're, you know, together." Their little area of the Great Hall fell silent. Sasuke almost started laughing at the stunned looks around him. His eyes moved to the teacher's table. Itachi was gripping his fork so tightly Sasuke wouldn't have been surprised if it was broken by the end of the meal. He stuck his hand behind Naruto's back and flipped Itachi the finger. The look he got promised that he would pay dearly for this.
"Wow," Hermione muttered. "Professor Uchiha is gay…Oh my god! Professor Uchiha is gay!" A bright smile slid over her face. Naruto and Sasuke nearly burst out laughing. Looks like Hermione was a closet yaoi fan. Looking around at some of the other girls they could see them wearing the same kind of blissful expression as Hermione.
When they finally received their schedules however Sasuke's smirk was quickly replaced by a look of pure horror.
"No!" he whispered dramatically. "Now way! This is not fair!" Across form him Ron groaned.
"Look at today! History of Magic, double Potions, Divination, and double Defense Against the Dark Arts…That new teacher better not be as boring as Binns was!"
"I don't think you have to worry about him being boring," Naruto said, a look of uneasiness on his face. Ron wasn't listening.
"I wish Fred and George'd hurry up and get those Skiving Snackboxes sorted…"
"Do mine ears deceive me?" Sasuke glanced up as Fred and George squeezed onto the bench beside Harry, but tuned out the conversation. His eyes moved up to the teacher's table. Itachi had already left.
"You can have a bit of Nosebleed Nougat cheap if you like." Sasuke sighed. Nosebleed Nougat…would that get him out of class with Itachi? No probably not. Nosebleeds weren't really that big of a deal for shinobi. In fact, it was rather minor compared to other injuries they usually received. Itachi would just tell him to suck it up.
"Why's it cheap," he heard Ron ask. That was a good question.
"Because you'll bleed till you shrivel up, we haven't got an antidote yet." Sasuke almost perked up when he heard that. Dying would certainly get him out of class. But that was a rather stupid thing to die for. He could imagine it now.
"How did he die? Was it in the line of battle?" Sakura would ask. Naruto would shake his head then, trying to hide a smile because of course the idiot would find it funny.
"Nope!" Sakura would look at him confused. "He was too scared to sit through Itachi's history lesson!" And then Sakura would laugh too. Why were they his friends again?
The rest of breakfast passed by much to fast for Sasuke's liking. He only vaguely listened as Fred and George attempted to frighten Ron, Harry, and Hermione about O.W.L.'s, whatever those were. When the Golden Trio got up to leave Sasuke pulled Naruto away from the strange western food and followed them. They took their seats in the back where they could see the most of the classroom. Itachi wasn't there yet.
"Hey," Naruto said, "What kind of teacher do you think Itachi will be?" Sasuke thought for a moment.
"I honestly don't know dobe, but I have a bad feeling about this…" As soon as the words left Sasuke's mouth the door was shoved open so hard it slammed into the wall and ricocheted back a little. Sasuke sweated. Only Itachi would kick the door open and scare the crap out of everyone all for the sake of a dramatic entrance. The room was dead silent as the Uchiha strode over to the desk. He sat down on the polished wood surface, facing the students.
"Good morning class," he said calmly. "I am Professor Uchiha." Someone in the class gulped. "So who here hates History of Magic?" Every student in the class raised their hand. Itachi nodded.
"Good, that makes all of us." The students blinked. Sasuke narrowed his eyes suspiciously, wandering what his brother was up to. "So, instead of teaching you about all that boring stuff you're supposed to be learning how about I teach you something much more interesting?" There was some nervous nodding of the head as the class pondered what exactly their new teacher had in store for them.
"I'm going to teach you about the history of my people, which I assure you is ten times more interesting than your history because there's more blood." Some of the girls looked a little queasy at the mention of blood. Sasuke exchanged a worried look with Naruto. Hermione tentatively raised her hand.
"Yes Miss…?" Itachi said.
"Granger, sir, and I was wandering, what about our O.W.L.'s?" Itachi blinked and frowned.
"What about them?" Hermione swallowed. All eyes in the class were on her.
"Well, how are we supposed to be prepared for them if we don't study what we're supposed to?" Itachi shrugged.
"I suppose you could study that boring stuff in your free time." Ron turned to Harry with a grin.
"This guy totally makes up for that Umbridge woman," he whispered. Harry quite agreed.
- - - - - - - - - -
It was the first day of classes and up in one of the luxurious staff bedrooms sat Kisame. He twiddled his thumbs as he lay on his bed, wandering what he was going to do with himself while Itachi was off teaching. The sudden harsh sound of knuckles wrapping against the window caught his attention. Kisame frowned. They were what, twenty stories of the ground? Who the hell…? More wrapping.
"Alright, alright!" Kisame grumbled, rolling off the bed. "I'm coming! Damn wizards, knocking on my window…" He threw the large glass panes open. "What the hell do you want?" He looked over the man in front of him with a critical eye. He was freakishly pale and snake-like, sort of like Orochimaru only without the gay make up, and he was sitting on a broom that was hovering in the air. Hm…flying broom…weird.
"I am Lord Voldemort!" the snake-like man declared. Kisame frowned.
"Aren't the people that run this place, like, your greatest enemies or something?" the shark asked.
"I'm only here for a quick visit," Voldemort quipped irritably. "Now tell me, where is Itachi Uchiha?" Kisame raised an eyebrow.
"What do you want with Itachi-san?"
"I want him to help me take over the world!" Kisame gave Voldemort another critical once over.
"I don't think Itachi-san will like you," he said evenly. Voldemort frowned.
"And why not? I am a villain, he is a villain, what more is there to it?"
"Let's get something straight first. I don't think Itachi can really be considered a 'villain'." Kisame brought his hands up in exaggerated quotation mark motions. "I mean, have you read the manga lately?" Voldemort's brow furrowed in confusion.
"Manga?" he asked. Kisame nodded.
"Yeah chapter three-ninety-something or other explains everything." Kisame leaned against the doorframe. "But that's not the main reason why he won't like you."
"It isn't?" Kisame shook his head.
"See, there used to be this freaky old pedophile guy in Akatsuki who had a thing for snakes. He took an interest in Itachi and things got a little…out of hand, literally."
"How so?"
"Well, when Orochimaru made the sorry mistake of trying to seduce Itachi-san, Itachi-san kicked his ass and cut off his hand." Voldemort's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.
"Are you…are you serious?"
"Yep. It was pretty funny. Still makes me laugh when I think about it…hehehehe." Voldemort backed his broom away from the window.
"You know what, I'll come back some other time." Kisame watched Voldemort fly away with a smirk on his face. Then he closed the window and went back to lounging on the bed. Perhaps he could take a nap…
- - - - - - - - - -
"…And that's how Konoha's Fourth Hokage kicked the bucket."
Naruto's eye was twitching almost uncontrollably. How dare that bastard speak that way about his father!! If it weren't for that fact that they were supposed to be undercover he would go up there right that instance and punch Itachi in the face. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Sasuke sending him a warning glare. He rolled his eyes and slumped in his chair. Itachi glanced at a clock.
"Well, class is just about over so…" he shrugged and went to sit behind his desk. Hermione was traumatized. Ron and Harry were shocked they had actually paid attention for the entire class. "Oh, one more thing," Itachi said suddenly. "Sasuke, I'd like to see you after class." The younger Uchiha gulped nervously. This wasn't going to end well. The last five minutes of class were agonizingly slow for Sasuke. When they were finally released from class Naruto gave him an apologetic look before dashing off after Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Itachi was casually shuffling blank paper around on his desk in order to look busy. Sasuke refused to come any closer than the front row.
"Have a seat, little brother," Itachi said. Sasuke did so cautiously, half expecting to be killed by some insane, yet ingenious trap that only Itachi could think of. Itachi sighed and looked up at him.
"We have something important to discuss." Sasuke raised an eyebrow in a 'go on' sort of fashion. Itachi did. "This morning at breakfast you said some things about Kisame and myself." Sasuke tensed.
"Yeah, so?" Itachi glared at him.
"How did you know?" Sasuke nearly had a heart attack. He looked at his brother, ready to tell him to stop screwing with him, but Itachi's expression was dead serious. Sasuke's jaw dropped open.
"You're GAY?" Sasuke squeaked, unable to believe the sheer coincidence. Itachi's eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Of course I'm gay. So are you little brother."
"I am not gay!"
"Suuuuuuure. You know I'm sure Naruto-kun returns your feelings."
"Shut up!" Itachi shrugged.
"Whatever." Then he stood up and slammed a fist on the desk, nearly breaking it. "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I'M SEEING KISAME?" Sasuke couldn't even think.
"You're what?"
A/N: CLIFFHANGER!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...its late. two am kind of late. with friends.
AFriend's/N: PENIS!! :D 3333
A/N: ...ignore the above message.
AFriend's/N: RATE. BECAUSE I SAID SO 8D Do it or i'll get ugly russians to rape and eat you :) LOVES!!
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