Letter Eighteen
Hey spencer,
The past few days have been busy. Aiden has been keeping me up all night so that I actually can get some sleep. Ive been having nightmares where your being hostile towards me and your rubbing your boyfriend in my face. I have really missed you lately and its so sad having to create new memories without you. I have been helping CA she is a canine physical therapist I meet while volunteering at the wolf hybrid rescue. I have been painting her physical therapy room for her and that has been helpful to keep myself busy. Though it does get lonely painting by yourself but I did hear a song on the radio while painting the other day that really made me think of you. "The reason" by Hoobastank it seemed like the perfect song for how I feel lately.
Kyla and I have also decided we would rather live farther out from UCLA and have a little land that ways we can have a horse and ride around the area we would live in. We have found a couple of places and are just waiting to hear back from people.
Aiden and I did on an exciting adventure to an adult store to buy a new "buddy" for me. Though my buddy will never be able compete with the way you would do figure eights when you fingered me. But it gets the job done I guess. Aiden did buy himself a glow in the dark buddy he plans to put it on a shelf in his room, ya I know he is kind of odd. I did have a good laugh when he was showing me his new iphone and was trying the play "The reason" for me using his voice command tool and it would play everything else but that. He finely got so fed up and told it "you're a fucking idiot" so what does the phone say "calling spencer" so he franticly hits the end call button yelling "Shit! Shit! Shit!" it was priceless. Its not that I think you a fucking idiot but it was just funny. Aiden and I have been taking a lot of walks in the park lately just talking about things like you and talking about sex. Its hard to believe but you probably refer to me as your crazy messed up ex, I have just had a hard time calling you my ex it seems so weird, everyone else has been referring to you as the bitch and I laugh about it but that just doesn't seem right ether.
Rowing has been going well, you would have been so proud of me on Sunday the coach put me in as stern pair with my other friend who rows port. Ive dropped 11 pounds since we broke up and I started rowing and taking soda out of my diet. My stomach is back to being completely flat and I hope by the end of the year I might even have a 6pack. I still really miss you spencer, I miss your smell and you voice. I just wish none of this had happened between us the way it did.
I also had my interview with Disney. They didn't have anything available for me in attractions but they put me on the waitlist. They did offer me a boating position where I would help guest who rent boats but I turned that down and now I wish I would have taken it. I did call the recruiter back and am waiting to hear from her if it is still available.
I love you Spencer I hope you remember that. Please stop being so angry with me in real life and in my dreams it cuases me so much pain.
Ashley