Letter Twenty-one
Hey Spencer,
A lot has happened over the past few days. I haven't been able to write since I have been out of town over at Kyla's moms farm, I call her Aunt Kim. You know they have a horse farm Kyla bought last year. We went for Forth of July weekend. It was nice to get to see the ponies and just be away from the city. It really made me miss you though because I knew how much you loved it out there. Aunt Kim even had a guest house so if you were still around we could of stayed out there instead of being in the main house and had our privacy. I am going to start taking dressage lessons because I have always wanted to learn and Aunt Kim gave me a bunch of her old dressage stuff since she doesn't ride and Kyla has no real interest in competition riding. I decided I also want to join UCLA's dressage team. I have already contacted the coach and will start lessons on Wednesday and do them twice a week. While I was up there we looked at some property to buy I think I might want to buy some land up there since land is really cheap right now. While we were looking I got a call from Disney Land and they decided to hire me and a position had opened up so I am going to be working the attractions. I had to get finger printed and everything and I had a lot of fun doing that because I met this nice trans boy named Matt and a bunch of his friends work in the same area so since he is also going to be working with me he said he would introduce me to them. I also had a meeting with UCLA's rowing recruiter, who is also the assistant coach. Her and I got a long very well and the head coach was there for half of our meeting and she also really liked me I still have to go through tryouts but because I am taking a rowing class, and they both love the guy who is coaching my class, they said I should have no problems making the team. I will have practice from 6am to 8 am Monday-Friday once school starts. The dressage coach also said the same things that because I am doing lessons now and because I have a good attitude and some previous experience that I should have no problems making the dressage team. Once classes start I will be taking evening riding lessons. Disney has me scheduled to work Friday-Sunday so I will have a full schedule once classes start. I just wish you were around to share all of this with. I still have time planned to do two counseling sessions a week as well to help with my stress and depression so I can learn to deal with everything better and not take things out on the people I love, like you. I do still love you Spencer so very very much. I still get sick every morning when I wake up you know because all I can do is think of you and him. Its hard knowing that you and I were so close to getting our own place together after two years of dating and now after only dating this guy for a short period your moving in with him. I just really hope your going to start birth control and still be safe and use a condom because nothing will kill me more then to see you wind up getting pregnant and marring him then wind up being unhappy. Though its also more because I really am hoping to get you back and if something happens with him it will ruin all of that. Though if you knew that you would probably purposefully let stuff happen and marry him. I found out the other day that a house on your street caught fire, I near about died. I was so worried about you and it seemed like it took forever to find the address of the house and I cant tell you how happy I was to find out it wasn't yours. Spencer I hate not knowing how your doing I miss you.
Love,
Ashley