Ritsuka sat alone in Soubi's apartment for hours, wondering what he should do or say to the tall blonde. Ritsuka couldn't exactly leave; they ripped his clothes to shreds. He sat right where they left him and very shakily considered all of his options; he could borrow some of Soubi's clothes, or maybe call Yuiko and have her bring some of his own before Soubi got home. He got up on trembling legs and stumbled his way over to the bathroom to inspect his wrists. Glancing at the mirror, he saw himself, earless.
Oh no! He thought to himself in horror, My Ears! Mother will kill me for sure. What will Soubi say? Yuiko can't see me like this either, she would have a heart attack. Shutting the door to the bathroom behind him, Ritsuka leaned against it and slowly slid to the floor, his heart slowly breaking as he realized that he was so ashamed of what had happened to him; what he let happen to him, that he didn't want anybody to see him. Not Soubi, not Yuiko, especially not his mother or father. He was running out of options.
He had decided that borrowing one of Soubi's outfits would be the lesser of evils, given his choices. Ritsuka had to hurry and pick out some clothes so that he could leave quickly, if he didn't and Soubi arrived before he was gone, Soubi would make Ritsuka tell him everything about it. Soubi would want to know every little detail. Ritsuka however was not ready to die yet, and being very fearful of the threat, whether or not they truly meant it, decided to heed their warning. Trying to make his way to Soubi's room as fast as possible, he stumbled picking himself up and continued on. He was picking out some clothes from the closet, planning how to disappear, and where to go so that nobody would ever find him when Soubi walked in to the room.
Soubi saw that the lights were on, so naturally he assumed that Natsuo and Youji were inside; doing what they normally do, play video games and try to beat one another while playing. What he wasn't expecting was to bump into his very frightened and flustered young sacrifice. He gave him a once over trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong, "Ritsuka, are you al-…." He started to say when he noticed that not only was Ritsuka wearing his clothing, he was earless. When did Ritsuka become earless and with whom? He wondered. "Ritsuka? When did….? How….? Why….?" Soubi asked with extreme concern, it was then that he noticed Ritsuka's wrists were raw. He didn't give away his virginity like Soubi originally thought, it was taken forcefully. "Ritsuka were you attacked? Be honest please. How did it happen, where, and by whom?"
Feeling overwhelmed by all of it, Ritsuka turned away from Soubi. Feeling very ashamed of what had happened and not wanting a repeat of it, he lied to protect himself. "No I wasn't attacked; we just got a little out of hand is all."
"What about your wrists?" he knew Ritsuka was lying to him, he just didn't know why.
"Oh this?" he lifted up his wrists to point to the rope burn in question, "I wanted my first time with someone else to be really kinky… you know like some of the stuff in Kio's books."
"Ritsuka, I'm your fighter. Please, be honest with me. I would never let somebody continue to put you in harm's way. Please, if someone did this to you without your consent its rape. I'll protect you from anyone and everyone; if only you will let me. If they threatened you I need to know. You can't let them get away with it." Soubi murmured soothingly to the young man.
Ritsuka denied even harder that he had been raped and tried even harder to convince Soubi that he had wanted the sex.
"Ritsuka, I know you can't go back to your mom's house. Stay the night with me and we will figure out how to get some clip on ears and a tail for you, so that you can go to school and not get beaten senseless by your mother every time she see's you. Okay?" Soubi asked, trying only to make Ritsuka's situation a little better if nothing else.
"No that's okay Soubi, thanks though. I was going to spend the night with Yayoi at his house." He smiled at Soubi, and ran out of the house as fast as possible heading in the direction of Yayoi's place. As soon as Ritsuka was out of site of Soubi's house, he doubled back making his way over to the nearest convenience store and purchased a small box cutter. Sticking it in his pocket, he walked back to his house and snuck in through his bedroom window. Climbing onto his bed he curled up and started to sob for the first time that night. Ritsuka pulled the box cutter from his pocket and opened the packaging. He looked and the blade for a long moment feeling a new kind of sadness. He wanted to tell Soubi the whole truth, but he didn't want to die. He wanted just to rush into the blonde mans arms and just let him make everything better, and to tell the older male that he was in love with him. Why he didn't though, was because he was afraid that if he did tell Soubi, Soubi wouldn't love him back. Or maybe he would reject the younger man because he had been raped. Ritsuka didn't think that he could take a second heartbreak; the first was having his virginity ripped away. He had wanted Soubi to take him for that first time.
His attention returned to the box cutter in his hand, and without thinking, he sliced his arm. Suddenly, all he could feel was just the quiet calm. He wasn't sobbing anymore, he wasn't dwelling on his maybe/maybe not relationship with Soubi, or what he would say to whomever if asked about being earless. Unsure of how long it would last he cut himself again and again. He cut himself so many times that both his arms were tore up, finally satisfied he put the box cutter down and sloppily wrapped up his arms. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought that if he were to cut himself maybe no one would want to shove him down or try to tie him up again and use him the way that Natsuo and Youji did. Maybe everyone would just leave him alone. With that final thought he locked his bedroom door and pulled the blankets over himself and went to sleep; not realizing how much blood he had really lost.