ShadowHawk kv: I love the song thank you for the recommendation! I know people want to know Spencers POV but honestly it will probably never happen. Possibly Spencer may come back into Ashleys life in the late 100's or early 200's but I make no promises. You might hear of Spencer sending Ashley a text or sending Aiden more texts but as for her POV that's about as close as it will get for now. The whole story is based off of Ashley dealing with everything that's going on and dealing with her break up. Hope that doesn't discourage you from reading! I know some parts might seem slow but I am going for a long term change its going to take me a little over a year to write the whole thing and who knows what could happen in that year. ^.^
Letter Twenty-Two
Spencer,
Ive had a busy few days it seems like my life is finely starting to pick up to a busy pace. I heard a song by Adele called someone like you and it brought me to tears in my car, I guess it came at a bad time I had just had a nightmare that you were telling me that you were engaged to him and I couldn't believe it because it was soon. You told me that he was perfect for you and I was trying to remind you how things were so perfect that first year for us and you told me you couldn't remember anything good. I am just glad it was a dream, but it still hurt. Its hard to see myself living my life without you but here I am watching it happen. I only have two more rowing lessons and that will be it until late August when UCLA hold open tryouts. I am going to be sad to have a break from rowing it has been so much fun and the fact that I have gotten a great tan and lost 15 pounds has been enjoyable as well. I can hardly imagine how great I am going to look once I get on the team and row 5 days a week. I am going to be substituting rowing for dressage.
Speaking of dressage Spencer I had my first lesson today and I had a blast! My trainer is such a nice and funny person we got a lot great and had a great time. I am going to be doing two lessons a week because that is all my schedule will allow for. Today it was my first time on an english saddle and it was a little scary because I wasn't able to ride in chaps and I didn't have a horn to hold on to when I felt unsteady. I am defiantly going to have some killer legs when all is said and done because dressage takes a lot of leg work since you have command with only using pressure from your legs and subtle movements with the reins. Its going to be a lot of work I am hoping I will have enough time to learn as much as I will need to in order to make the UCLA dressage team. I am hoping that it is going to help that my trainer is also the UCLA dressage coach and she knows that I want to try out for the team. Tomarrow she is going to put me on a lung line and teach me how to post during a trot since in the beginner competition all I will have to do is walk and trot.
I also had my Disneyland Traditions class last Saturday and that was one of the most exciting trainings I have ever gone to. They gave out little Disney characters if we participated or answered questions. I won three! I got one Goofy and two Donalds, I gave one of my Donalds to Aiden since that is his favorite character. It was exciting when Mickey Mouse brought us our name tags and I got my ID which will get me to any of the parks year round. They are going to have me work Friday-Sunday so I know longer have a day where I am not doing something. Which is what I want, I don't want to have time to even think about you, about you with him. I start training this Saturday and am looking forward to get to see what I am going to be doing and which ride I am going to be working at.
I feel like my life is in the beginnings of coming together. I will start my research internship I got accepted for last spring in August which will be Monday through Thursday until school starts. Once school does start my life is going to be non-stop and when it does stop it will only be for sleep. Spencer I am going to do the best I can to move on with my life I just don't know about my heart. I have all these things that I wish I could be sharing with you and I wish I was getting to tell you all of this now and not just writing these letters that I will probably never give to you. You want nothing to do with my life anymore yet all I wish was for you to in it. I just hope one day you will change your mind and I can share all of this with you and that our lives wont turn out like Adeles song. With you settled down married with kids and me years later looking for you only to be disappointed that I never got to show you I changed and get that second chance.
I miss you so much Spncer
Love Ashley