Ritsuka sighed as he stared off into the darkness that only night time can bring. Sighing again, he lay back on the railing of the balcony resting his head on the wood and stared at the stars. It's been like this ever since last week, he thought to himself as the memory of everything that happened came flooding back.

Ritsuka had needed to go home and get some fresh clothes if he was going to stay at Soubi's house for a few days, and while the idea of sleeping in the older blondes t-shirts every night was a delightful thought he often entertained, however it wasn't really a realistic thought. The two of them had to be going through Soubi's entire closet by now and while it was time to be doing some laundry, Ritsuka felt that he needed to have his own clothes. So while Soubi was in school he left a note saying that he had to swing by his place and get some of his more personal items. "Like my underwear…" Ritsuka murmured to himself, he had been going commando for the last three or four days. Soubi had been very polite and offered to allow Ritsuka to borrow a pair of his own until he could go home to get his own, Ritsuka flat out refused. It was nothing against Soubi, it was just the idea was so weird. Arriving at his own house, Ritsuka let himself in and snuck up to his bedroom. He grabbed his duffel bag and was quietly stuffing all of his clothes into the bag when his mom hit him over the back of the head with a lamp. When he woke up he was tied to a chair, with her behind him holding one of their kitchen knives to his throat. "Mom? What on earth are you doing? Why am I tied up?"

"MOM? HOW DARE YOU CALL ME MOM!" She shouted at him enraged by the endearment. "You are not my son. My Ritsuka would never go whoring himself at such a young age and lose his ears. NEVER! I should kill you for even daring to call yourself MY RITSUKA." She started to shout again, pressing the knife a little harder against his throat getting just about ready to slit it when she decided that it would be too messy and decided to choke him instead. Drawing the life slowly out of her last son, she kept shouting at him. Calling him a whore, telling him he was never her son, and other things.

Ritsuka was on his last breath ready to die, when the door to the house burst open and out of shock his mother let go. Gasping for air, Ritsuka opened his eyes long enough to witness an outraged Soubi backhand his mother sending her flying into the wall and watch as her body went limp. He then turned to Ritsuka and untied him. "Thank you for saving me… Soubi…" he said softly and passed out cold as Soubi picked him up.

Ritsuka sighed again as he thought that nothing was ever going to change. He had been healing his wounds ever since that first night that Soubi found him in his room bleeding and on the cusp of death. Soubi had dutifully explained to all of his teachers that he would be coming in and collecting all of Ritsuka's homework for him and also be home teaching him for a while. Explaining about his mom, and such; apparently the teachers understood as they let Soubi take a copy of all their lesson plans and once a day for a few hours Soubi went over it with him and then also went over the homework him, making sure he kept up with all of his classes. Once an assignment was done, Soubi immediately went to turn it in either that day or the very next day depending on what time it was. Soubi's excuse was that he wanted to make sure that Ritsuka could graduate this year with all of his other classmates, while that may be true Ritsuka was also pretty sure that Soubi just wanted to spend all the time that he could with him. Sitting up, he swung his other leg so that he was sitting, facing the neighborhood.

"I keep trying to show him that it's okay to touch me. That I won't break," he stared down at the ground. "Kio says I drive him crazy, Soubi says I'm intoxicating. If I'm so intoxicating why hasn't he laid a hand on me? It's been almost two months since I was raped. While I can't change what happened, I just have to accept it and move on. And I want to move on… with him. I want him to be the first person I give myself to. I just can't understand why he hasn't made a move, when I keep putting him in positions to do so." He said quietly to himself.

He heard the door click open and swung his legs back over the patio and hopped off going to the door to greet either Soubi or Kio.

"Hello?" Kio said as he walked through the door. He set the bag he was carrying down on the counter.

"Where is Soubi? I thought he was with you Kio? Well that's okay I need to talk to you anyway." He said softly.

"Oh yeah?" Kio asked curiously. "What about?"

"You told me that he wanted me to be the one to make the first move, that if I did he would know that I'm finally ready to accept him and all that he can offer me. Remember?" Ritsuka sighed frustrated. "I keep trying to make the first move, and every time that I do, he tells me that I would be his undoing if he were to touch me now. What the heck does that even mean? I don't understand Kio… I thought he liked me."

Kio saw the very sad look on Ritsuka's face and said, "He does like you Ritsuka. I wish that I could explain it to you Ritsuka but I think that this is one of those things that you two really need to talk about."

Ok Everyone I Dont usually put A/N's on here but please be sure to review my story good or bad and let me know that its actually being read. i have the next chapter ready to be typed up and posted, but unless people actually review i may not continue with this story... so please please please send some reviews my way!

Thank you kindly,

betrayal